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proximity-nine — Part I, page 02
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Published: 2007-03-23 01:51:43 +0000 UTC; Views: 4248; Favourites: 48; Downloads: 44
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Start |Previous |NextThis, my friends...is called "masochism at its finest."
Sephiroth's wing. Was. A BITCH. Pardon the language. I knew there was a reason I hated the guy...And I'm very happy there are only two more pages with Cloud in his KH I outfit, because it nearly made me cry. I have problems with detail. I obsess over it to the point of...I'll stop whining now.
....my wrist hurts. And I have no idea what I'm doing with screentones. Hopefully this will be how I learn.
Edit: ....I forgot to tone Aerith's hair...OH WELL. *dies*
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Comments: 13
You just know this is gonna be intense. I just think that the gradient that seperates them on the top should be have some addition to it instead of making it so cut and dry. Like try adding a noise filter or some other effects to it.
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Lovely, awesome.
Wonderfully created.
Favourited.
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X3 thankies!! yea.....i use alot of different usernames but like, no yaoi ones!! O.o Im surprised at mehself....Hmm....I will have to arange something >..<
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omg i love yaoi!! I live for it!! Geez u should hear me and my friends. Were attending a convention soon and we plan to spend all out money on yaoi!! X3
Wowie for yaoi as someone put it lol!!
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Ahahaha, I couldn't tell from your username XD (I lvoe Aerith and Zack too tho <3 ) But I'm glad~
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Are you gonna continue this?? Cuz This is amazing!! I wish I could draw like this and stuffs!! Sadly, im only good a drawing certain poses and all my comic cans are all like, little chibi ppls and its random X3 Ah well.....GREAT JOB I LOVE DISH SOOOOO MUCH!!!
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Thank you! I am continuing this, I have most of the pages drawn out on paper, it's just a matter of them being finished digitally, and I've been busy lately. 
Thank you for your comment <3
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it's turning out so well so far 
Seph..wut r u doing with that...wait wau r u---AHHHHHHHHHHHH RUN EVERYBODY, RUN!!!!! *blown up*
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XD Thanks.
I know, it's like "OH NO MASAMUNE'D IN THE FACEEE" XD Foreshortening is fun when it actually works out.
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lol 8D u're welcome ^.^
btw i like ur signatures XD
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I love the gradients in Sephiroth's and Cloud's wings ^^ Artworkwise, everything is topnotch 
I think the pacing is kind of inconsistent with the first page? I think there's a huge pause between the first page's narration to this page's? So the text could also get put in the upper half of the page or in the gutter area between HB!Crew and Sephiroth? It's a personal preference for me I guess;;; (Gods, I don't mean to sound cocky, it's just the only thing I could give advice about because everything else is amazing.)
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Thanks for the comment
I do see what you mean, though...the problem being several things. I really struggled with that line...the phrasing of it, first off, because I originally wrote it in Japanese, but it just didn't translate, and I can't just leave lines in Japanese because not everyone can read them. XD So I changed it completely.
The other problem is that the transitions in the beginning here have to be very sudden for my own sanity. This doujin is technically supplemental to my other in-progress doujin, "Departure", and my fanfic "Homecoming", on my regular account. The difference is the pairing, really. I didn't want to have to make up an entirely new backstory after the one I established there, so the beginning of this just references it. I also didn't want to draw some scenes twice, but the only other option would be to just reuse the same pages, but that would be like cheating.
I feel bad though, because I don't want to make people go read my fanfiction just to be able to follow the story, so I'll try to provide some kind of explaination as I go along. -_-;
I'll be sure to remember about the pacing as I continue, though. Considering how much narration is ahead...hah.
Sorry for such a long reply...*laughs nervously*
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I didn't mean to make you so nervous, >___< Sorry!
Pacing is just all about where to put the text so that everything flows. It's not as complicated as you make it seem. Don't worry too much about it! As I said before, it's pretty minor considering you did everything else really well. I'll try not to sound so blargh-must-do-this the next time I critique.
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