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This is a rare moment as I have SIX stories to cover in this Supersized Snark of the Week. This won't be a regular edition or upgrade for the series, but I didn't feel like covering these six items as seperate pages. Hopefully, this will motivate me into reviving the Month Reviews, but baby steps.

Let's get the ball rolling with...

Netflix Vs. Egypt.
If anyone continues to doubt that content labelled as Woke, SJW, politically correct (or whatever buzzword you're clinging to this week for Youtube views) isn’t on the way out, then let’s go through 2023’s current killstreak.

The year kicked off with the train wreck that was Velma: a show that tried to preach diversity and inclusivity ended up being hated by the very people it desperately wanted to pander to. This was quickly followed by Puss in Boots: The Last Wish curb checking Hollywood with the kind of storytelling and ideas audiences have been starving for for nearly a decade now. Even as I type this summary up, the Super Mario Bros. Movie is teabagging the corpse and is now on track to outpace ALL of Disney's highest earning animated movies at the box office.

Meanwhile, the once untouchable MCU is now falling victim to its own hubris, brought on by Phase 4’s lack of direction. Ant-Man and the Wasp: Boredomania underperformed at the box office and Guardians 3 didn’t quite hit the way its previous entries did. Nevermind, I’m sure the Marvels will help them bounce baahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA... Oh, I’m sorry. I must learn to say that with a straight face.

Not wanting to feel left out, Netflix have thrown their corpse onto the fire with an adaptation of Cleopatra. Now on the surface you might be thinking “well what's wrong with that?” It's only when you dig a little deeper you realise that Netflix decided to “make a few changes.”

See it's one thing to reimagine fictional characters into whatever race, gender or species the writer felt like doing that week. It's a bit different to do this with actual historical figures, when we have factual evidence and details as to who they are, what they look like and where they came from. Netflix however decided: “Cleopatra was black, because we said so.” Also, one of the people involved with the project said “my grandma said she was black!” Yeah? Well, my late grandma would probably call you an idiot for believing such nonsense. To make matters worse is the fact they're calling this a documentary series; not a work of fiction or fantasy storytelling, but an actual account of Cleopatra's life. It's pretty sad when something like Records of Ragnarok has a more accurate depiction of history then this shitpile does.

What makes the claim harder to swallow is the historical fact Cleopatra is the blood relative to a Greek chap you may have heard of called Alexander the Great; a family infamous for incest and non breeding outside their own family. If the argument is "Well, the Greeks are racist!" then how do you explain how they had a massive hard on for Ethiopians? If Cleopatra was black, you know damn well they'd have been singing it from the raftas. It sounds to me like you wanted something to be true so badly, that you destorted reality and have chosen to live in denial about this one issue. I mean, if I can't make a documentary series about Joan of Arc as a Rastafarian Power Ranger, then you can't get away with this bollocks either.

Much like Velma, this utter pig shit of a program ended up offending the people it was designed for; in this case, the entire nation of Egypt. There is talk of Egypt not only removing Netflix from their country, but also Egyptian lawyer Mahmoud al-Semary is suing the streaming giant for this bastardisation of Egyptian history.

(Quote)
“Most of what Netflix platform displays do not conform to Islamic and societal values and principles, especially Egyptian ones. In order to preserve the Egyptian national and cultural identity among Egyptians all over the world there must be pride in the makings of such work.”
(End Quote).

The Producers responded by basically saying “yeah well, you're all racist!” Ah yes, that old chestnut.

Honestly, I don’t know why anyone is shocked by this. Netflix has been pulling this virtue signalling nonsense for awhile now, but it’s nice to see them finally catching some shit for it. I can’t say I’ll be watching this rubbish at any point in the future.

Besides, jokes on them, we already had a black Cleopatra.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_ZoJH…

Kamala Khan't sell comics.
I'm probably going to catch some shit for this, but I liked Kamala Khan. Her initial debut and first run of comics weren't that bad. I actually have a few of them stored away in my long box and as far as new characters go she's one of the better additions from modern superhero comics. I know when she debuted, most people ran around saying “oh here comes the Muslim Ms. Marvel,” whereas I saw a character with tons of potential that could have been good if given the right creative team and direction. Unfortunately, she's a product of Marvel Comics so that was never going to happen.

I stopped enjoying her comics in 2016, where she was involved in some really cringey storylines that were a not-so subtle allegory for illegal immigration and Donald Trump's presidency. As much as I like the character in concept, she was officially dead to me by that point. Kamala’s limped on ever since because Marvel's failed to get her on the same level of importance as Spider-Man or the X-Men, but it’s not to say they haven’t tried. She was the main character in The Avengers video game and even giving her a Disney+ show didn’t work because, much like Captain Marvel's continuous cancellation and relaunching, you can't get a character over if the audience doesn’t give a shit.

So with little options left, Marvel have done what any comic book company does when they desperately need a character to get over - they've killed her off; unceremoniously in somebody else's book no less. Now from what I've read, her demise wasn't supposed to be revealed this early. Marvel's social media department just dropped the news on the internet ahead of schedule - turning a tragic moment into unintentional comedy. Her "fans" have taken to the Twatter to do their best basement dweller impression, by wishing death on Marvel and the head writer of this comic. It's nice to see both sides of the political spectrum are filled with arseholes.

Which is kind of sad really because, as I said at the start, Kamala had tons of potential which has unfortunately been squandered thanks to Marvel's ineptness when handling new Legacy characters. I tend to blame companies such as Marvel and Disney for putting the idea into people's heads that any new character that isn't “a straight white male” is a form of wokeness, because it’s really set the industry back by a couple of decades. Thanks for that, arseholes. So when I finally get Rhiannon’s series completed, I’ll no doubt be met with comments such as “ewww! It’s got women in it. WOOOOKE!!!”

Again. Thanks for that, arseholes.

But therein lies the other issue regarding this announcement - It's a death in superhero comics. That literally doesn't mean anything anymore. If you honestly believe Marvel will keep this character dead for longer than a year, I'm going to have to ask for the number of your shroom dealer and can I interest you in this cardboard submarine in my backyard? A part of me suspects they've chosen Kamala to be killed off in this manner because if it was any of their other recent characters, such as Riri Williams or the endless Spider-Man clones, nobody would truly give a shit. Hell, if it was Carol Danvers being killed off, people might throw nationwide celebrations.

More than likely, her death is the first step in removing all traces of the failed Inhumans franchise off her and turning her into a full fledged mutant (just like her MCU counterpart) so she can become a regular member of the X-Men and Marvel never has to give her a solo book ever again. I would suggest this is being done to promote the upcoming Marvels movie, but we all know nobodies going to watch that trainwreck.

Poor Kamala Khan. It's nice to know that Marvel cares about putting new diverse faces out there... but then again, this is the same company that turned Miles Morales into a tired racist stereotype masquerading as Thor, so maybe they're not as virtuous as they think.

This Morning (with a pair of twats).
I can't remember which Rugrats character said it, but she was spot on when she said: “we think television is evil.”

For those who don't know or live in the UK, This Morning is one of those ghastly daytime TV talk shows that covers celebrity fluff, cooking segments and the odd contentious issue in the news. Classic Frankie Boyle once summed it up nicely: “who the fuck is watching this shit? Benefit cheats and prisoners.” The presenters are (or should I say were) Phillip Schofield and Holly Willoughby: Some of the fakest people in all of UK showbiz. So fake in fact they should be politicians. It’s not as if we can do any worse than the current twats in charge now is it?

In the past, these two appeared to be friends in some regard; Often laughing at each other’s jokes and entertaining the drooling idiots who watch this garbage. However, in recent years, it’s quite clear these two can't stand the sight of each other as they're making the kind of faces and forced laughter that suggests they’re waiting for the other to blink so they can gouge their eyes out. You know you fucked up when the Tories are using you as a punchline to make fun of Chicken-Kiev Starmer and Angela Rayner.

Now I had an entire segment covering the reasons as to why these two hate each other, but I had to bin it. While I was editing this SOTW (20/05/2023) the announcement came across the internet that ITV have officially fired Phillip Schofield; Most likely because of his nonce of a brother and the pending legal battle with a former showrunner Phil was "involved with." Though he claims that he chose to leave the show, we all know this daft twat was finally told to bugger off by the upper management.

Personally, I'd of sacked both of them and replaced them with a rock and a goldfish. At least a rock and goldfish would have actual chemistry together.

The Galactic Starcruiser goes supernova.
What costs $350 million and ends with you crying yourself to sleep while everyone's taking the piss out of you? If you answered “a Star Wars stage production masquerading as a hotel nobody asked for”, then a winner is you.

I think we're reaching the point that I could purchase the Star Wars IP for about £3.50 at the rate Disney's going about things. From their mishandling of the sequel trilogy, The Mandalorian’s character assassination and this strange fixation with making every single protagonist of a Star Wars property “an all powerful (yet oppressed) Mary-Sue who must bring down the patriarchy.” It’s almost as if Kathline Kennedy’s writing herself into all these projects or something? And they called George “computers” Lucas a narcissist?

I wasn’t joking about that stage production part either. You’d think, at a holiday destination, you could just sit by the pool and read a book. Of course, that isn’t “special” enough for some people, so instead you have to basically take on a second job as a larper at this utter farce, whilst paying through the nose for the privilege.

Directly quoting the website.
“It’s part live immersive theater, part themed environment, part culinary extravaganza, part real-life role-playing game—and yet so much more.”

Two nights for five grand. Can’t say I’m shocked this thing is dead.

Considering this was the brainchild of one Kathline Kennedy, Disney has to fire her now. All I'm saying is if this was a white guy fucking up this spectacularly, they'd have fired him into the sun and don't you deny it. Between this resort closing and the reports the latest Indiana Jones movie (that nobody asked for) will underperform or outright bomb, maybe then and only then Disney will finally give this feminist bitch her walking papers.

Seriously though - Ditch the schedule, lower the price and it could work. But, there I go again on one of my grand delusions.

The Royals who cried Wolf.
Just checking here, but is it now socially acceptable to make fun of these privileged twats? I guess that's another thing we got to thank South Park and Chris Rock for.

You gotta love how these spoiled brats need so many titles: Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, Harry and Meghan. Just-Harry and Meghan or the Sussexes. Personally, I call them Bluedick & Bitchface. I used to call them Beavis & Butt-Head, but that’s offensive to the MTV duo.

Well it seems that people are really tired of their sob stories and Amazing Adult Fantasies as of late. Their latest attention seeking stunt is the claim they were chased for two hours by the paparazzi in a taxi; giving people eerie reminders of Harry's late mother: Princess Diana. However, it turns out that none of that actually happened as the taxi driver recently came out and said: “Nah, they're full of shit.”

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I find it incredibly comical that these clowns claim they want privacy and to be left alone, yet keep putting themselves out there in exclusive interviews, Netflix deals, public speaking events and the inability to go the fuck away. Any wonder people now consider the Royal Family to be an utter joke? I don't give a fuck that Chucky's on the throne, I'm gonna keep saying "God Save the Queen" with pride. As far as Bluedick & Bitchface are concerned, America can have them for we don’t want them back.

While we're at it, they can also keep John Oliver, James Corden and Piers Morgan.

Dove lights the Virtue Signal.

Dove: WHY CAN'T WE PLAY AS A FAT PERSON IN VIDEO GAMES!!!??

Me: ...... You are aware of character customisation, right?

Dove: .... What?

Me: It's been around for decades now. In a lot of video games, you're given the option to create your own character. They can be white, black, asian, hispanic, fat, skinny, sexy, ugly, or not even human if you wanted.

Dove: .... Oh.
Me: Fucking Normies.

Honarable mentions: The Five Nights at Freddy's teaser trailer. Mortal Kombat 1 teaser trailer, and this youtu.be/upQYSSXHv7s

Description
This is a rare moment as I have SIX stories to cover in this Supersized Snark of the Week. This won't be a regular edition or upgrade for the series, but I didn't feel like covering these six items as seperate pages. Hopefully, this will motivate me into reviving the Month Reviews, but baby steps.

Let's get the ball rolling with...

Netflix Vs. Egypt.
If anyone continues to doubt that content labelled as Woke, SJW, politically correct (or whatever buzzword you're clinging to this week for Youtube views) isn’t on the way out, then let’s go through 2023’s current killstreak.

The year kicked off with the train wreck that was Velma: a show that tried to preach diversity and inclusivity ended up being hated by the very people it desperately wanted to pander to. This was quickly followed by Puss in Boots: The Last Wish curb checking Hollywood with the kind of storytelling and ideas audiences have been starving for for nearly a decade now. Even as I type this summary up, the Super Mario Bros. Movie is teabagging the corpse and is now on track to outpace ALL of Disney's highest earning animated movies at the box office.

Meanwhile, the once untouchable MCU is now falling victim to its own hubris, brought on by Phase 4’s lack of direction. Ant-Man and the Wasp: Boredomania underperformed at the box office and Guardians 3 didn’t quite hit the way its previous entries did. Nevermind, I’m sure the Marvels will help them bounce baahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA... Oh, I’m sorry. I must learn to say that with a straight face.

Not wanting to feel left out, Netflix have thrown their corpse onto the fire with an adaptation of Cleopatra. Now on the surface you might be thinking “well what's wrong with that?” It's only when you dig a little deeper you realise that Netflix decided to “make a few changes.”

See it's one thing to reimagine fictional characters into whatever race, gender or species the writer felt like doing that week. It's a bit different to do this with actual historical figures, when we have factual evidence and details as to who they are, what they look like and where they came from. Netflix however decided: “Cleopatra was black, because we said so.” Also, one of the people involved with the project said “my grandma said she was black!” Yeah? Well, my late grandma would probably call you an idiot for believing such nonsense. To make matters worse is the fact they're calling this a documentary series; not a work of fiction or fantasy storytelling, but an actual account of Cleopatra's life. It's pretty sad when something like Records of Ragnarok has a more accurate depiction of history then this shitpile does.

What makes the claim harder to swallow is the historical fact Cleopatra is the blood relative to a Greek chap you may have heard of called Alexander the Great; a family infamous for incest and non breeding outside their own family. If the argument is "Well, the Greeks are racist!" then how do you explain how they had a massive hard on for Ethiopians? If Cleopatra was black, you know damn well they'd have been singing it from the raftas. It sounds to me like you wanted something to be true so badly, that you destorted reality and have chosen to live in denial about this one issue. I mean, if I can't make a documentary series about Joan of Arc as a Rastafarian Power Ranger, then you can't get away with this bollocks either.

Much like Velma, this utter pig shit of a program ended up offending the people it was designed for; in this case, the entire nation of Egypt. There is talk of Egypt not only removing Netflix from their country, but also Egyptian lawyer Mahmoud al-Semary is suing the streaming giant for this bastardisation of Egyptian history.

(Quote)
“Most of what Netflix platform displays do not conform to Islamic and societal values and principles, especially Egyptian ones. In order to preserve the Egyptian national and cultural identity among Egyptians all over the world there must be pride in the makings of such work.”
(End Quote).

The Producers responded by basically saying “yeah well, you're all racist!” Ah yes, that old chestnut.

Honestly, I don’t know why anyone is shocked by this. Netflix has been pulling this virtue signalling nonsense for awhile now, but it’s nice to see them finally catching some shit for it. I can’t say I’ll be watching this rubbish at any point in the future.

Besides, jokes on them, we already had a black Cleopatra.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_ZoJH…

Kamala Khan't sell comics.
I'm probably going to catch some shit for this, but I liked Kamala Khan. Her initial debut and first run of comics weren't that bad. I actually have a few of them stored away in my long box and as far as new characters go she's one of the better additions from modern superhero comics. I know when she debuted, most people ran around saying “oh here comes the Muslim Ms. Marvel,” whereas I saw a character with tons of potential that could have been good if given the right creative team and direction. Unfortunately, she's a product of Marvel Comics so that was never going to happen.

I stopped enjoying her comics in 2016, where she was involved in some really cringey storylines that were a not-so subtle allegory for illegal immigration and Donald Trump's presidency. As much as I like the character in concept, she was officially dead to me by that point. Kamala’s limped on ever since because Marvel's failed to get her on the same level of importance as Spider-Man or the X-Men, but it’s not to say they haven’t tried. She was the main character in The Avengers video game and even giving her a Disney+ show didn’t work because, much like Captain Marvel's continuous cancellation and relaunching, you can't get a character over if the audience doesn’t give a shit.

So with little options left, Marvel have done what any comic book company does when they desperately need a character to get over - they've killed her off; unceremoniously in somebody else's book no less. Now from what I've read, her demise wasn't supposed to be revealed this early. Marvel's social media department just dropped the news on the internet ahead of schedule - turning a tragic moment into unintentional comedy. Her "fans" have taken to the Twatter to do their best basement dweller impression, by wishing death on Marvel and the head writer of this comic. It's nice to see both sides of the political spectrum are filled with arseholes.

Which is kind of sad really because, as I said at the start, Kamala had tons of potential which has unfortunately been squandered thanks to Marvel's ineptness when handling new Legacy characters. I tend to blame companies such as Marvel and Disney for putting the idea into people's heads that any new character that isn't “a straight white male” is a form of wokeness, because it’s really set the industry back by a couple of decades. Thanks for that, arseholes. So when I finally get Rhiannon’s series completed, I’ll no doubt be met with comments such as “ewww! It’s got women in it. WOOOOKE!!!”

Again. Thanks for that, arseholes.

But therein lies the other issue regarding this announcement - It's a death in superhero comics. That literally doesn't mean anything anymore. If you honestly believe Marvel will keep this character dead for longer than a year, I'm going to have to ask for the number of your shroom dealer and can I interest you in this cardboard submarine in my backyard? A part of me suspects they've chosen Kamala to be killed off in this manner because if it was any of their other recent characters, such as Riri Williams or the endless Spider-Man clones, nobody would truly give a shit. Hell, if it was Carol Danvers being killed off, people might throw nationwide celebrations.

More than likely, her death is the first step in removing all traces of the failed Inhumans franchise off her and turning her into a full fledged mutant (just like her MCU counterpart) so she can become a regular member of the X-Men and Marvel never has to give her a solo book ever again. I would suggest this is being done to promote the upcoming Marvels movie, but we all know nobodies going to watch that trainwreck.

Poor Kamala Khan. It's nice to know that Marvel cares about putting new diverse faces out there... but then again, this is the same company that turned Miles Morales into a tired racist stereotype masquerading as Thor, so maybe they're not as virtuous as they think.

This Morning (with a pair of twats).
I can't remember which Rugrats character said it, but she was spot on when she said: “we think television is evil.”

For those who don't know or live in the UK, This Morning is one of those ghastly daytime TV talk shows that covers celebrity fluff, cooking segments and the odd contentious issue in the news. Classic Frankie Boyle once summed it up nicely: “who the fuck is watching this shit? Benefit cheats and prisoners.” The presenters are (or should I say were) Phillip Schofield and Holly Willoughby: Some of the fakest people in all of UK showbiz. So fake in fact they should be politicians. It’s not as if we can do any worse than the current twats in charge now is it?

In the past, these two appeared to be friends in some regard; Often laughing at each other’s jokes and entertaining the drooling idiots who watch this garbage. However, in recent years, it’s quite clear these two can't stand the sight of each other as they're making the kind of faces and forced laughter that suggests they’re waiting for the other to blink so they can gouge their eyes out. You know you fucked up when the Tories are using you as a punchline to make fun of Chicken-Kiev Starmer and Angela Rayner.

Now I had an entire segment covering the reasons as to why these two hate each other, but I had to bin it. While I was editing this SOTW (20/05/2023) the announcement came across the internet that ITV have officially fired Phillip Schofield; Most likely because of his nonce of a brother and the pending legal battle with a former showrunner Phil was "involved with." Though he claims that he chose to leave the show, we all know this daft twat was finally told to bugger off by the upper management.

Personally, I'd of sacked both of them and replaced them with a rock and a goldfish. At least a rock and goldfish would have actual chemistry together.

The Galactic Starcruiser goes supernova.
What costs $350 million and ends with you crying yourself to sleep while everyone's taking the piss out of you? If you answered “a Star Wars stage production masquerading as a hotel nobody asked for”, then a winner is you.

I think we're reaching the point that I could purchase the Star Wars IP for about £3.50 at the rate Disney's going about things. From their mishandling of the sequel trilogy, The Mandalorian’s character assassination and this strange fixation with making every single protagonist of a Star Wars property “an all powerful (yet oppressed) Mary-Sue who must bring down the patriarchy.” It’s almost as if Kathline Kennedy’s writing herself into all these projects or something? And they called George “computers” Lucas a narcissist?

I wasn’t joking about that stage production part either. You’d think, at a holiday destination, you could just sit by the pool and read a book. Of course, that isn’t “special” enough for some people, so instead you have to basically take on a second job as a larper at this utter farce, whilst paying through the nose for the privilege.

Directly quoting the website.
“It’s part live immersive theater, part themed environment, part culinary extravaganza, part real-life role-playing game—and yet so much more.”

Two nights for five grand. Can’t say I’m shocked this thing is dead.

Considering this was the brainchild of one Kathline Kennedy, Disney has to fire her now. All I'm saying is if this was a white guy fucking up this spectacularly, they'd have fired him into the sun and don't you deny it. Between this resort closing and the reports the latest Indiana Jones movie (that nobody asked for) will underperform or outright bomb, maybe then and only then Disney will finally give this feminist bitch her walking papers.

Seriously though - Ditch the schedule, lower the price and it could work. But, there I go again on one of my grand delusions.

The Royals who cried Wolf.
Just checking here, but is it now socially acceptable to make fun of these privileged twats? I guess that's another thing we got to thank South Park and Chris Rock for.

You gotta love how these spoiled brats need so many titles: Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, Harry and Meghan. Just-Harry and Meghan or the Sussexes. Personally, I call them Bluedick & Bitchface. I used to call them Beavis & Butt-Head, but that’s offensive to the MTV duo.

Well it seems that people are really tired of their sob stories and Amazing Adult Fantasies as of late. Their latest attention seeking stunt is the claim they were chased for two hours by the paparazzi in a taxi; giving people eerie reminders of Harry's late mother: Princess Diana. However, it turns out that none of that actually happened as the taxi driver recently came out and said: “Nah, they're full of shit.”

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I find it incredibly comical that these clowns claim they want privacy and to be left alone, yet keep putting themselves out there in exclusive interviews, Netflix deals, public speaking events and the inability to go the fuck away. Any wonder people now consider the Royal Family to be an utter joke? I don't give a fuck that Chucky's on the throne, I'm gonna keep saying "God Save the Queen" with pride. As far as Bluedick & Bitchface are concerned, America can have them for we don’t want them back.

While we're at it, they can also keep John Oliver, James Corden and Piers Morgan.

Dove lights the Virtue Signal.

Dove: WHY CAN'T WE PLAY AS A FAT PERSON IN VIDEO GAMES!!!??

Me: ...... You are aware of character customisation, right?

Dove: .... What?

Me: It's been around for decades now. In a lot of video games, you're given the option to create your own character. They can be white, black, asian, hispanic, fat, skinny, sexy, ugly, or not even human if you wanted.

Dove: .... Oh.
Me: Fucking Normies.

Honarable mentions: The Five Nights at Freddy's teaser trailer. Mortal Kombat 1 teaser trailer, and this youtu.be/upQYSSXHv7s