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Description
Brief Intermission to watch MMPR: The Movie.
(Also means I'll skip over the Ninja Quest for I'm not watching "the same basic story" twice)

Starring.
Beretta as The White Ranger.
Prima as The Black Ranger.
Dom Fury as The Pink Ranger.
Espio Manditori as The Blue Ranger.
Mya Margarita as The Yellow Ranger.
Erin O'Leary as The Red Ranger.
Bernie Sanders as Zordon.
AlphaOmegaSin as Alpha5.

As Rita.
As Lord Zedd.
Cute Yet Offensive Panda as Goldar.

Charlotte Ness as Dulcea.
And Davkd Dodger as Ivan Ooze.

With Editing Assistance as always from

By the time you read this, the 2017 movie will have been released or on DVD knowing my luck. So I've prepared 3 statements in advance depending on the movies eventual quality.

IF THE MOVIE IS GOOD.
I'm actually surprised it managed not to shit its pants. Congratulations, Power Rangers 2017. You have defied my expectations and produced a generally acceptable experience for modern audiences..... Though I am still not going to see your film.

IF THE MOVIE IS AVERAGE/MEDIOCRE/FORGETTABLE.
Not surprised. Perhaps Hollywood will finally understand that remaking old ideas isn't popular anymore.

IF THE MOVIE IS SHIT.
As expected.

I know what you're gonna say "I bet you love the original movie and just want to talk shit about the reboot!" While I recall doing a Reaction & Review-UK a thousand years ago, this review represents my current thoughts on the 1995 cheesetray we call "Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie!" Since the movie isn't your standard 20 minute Saturday morning kids show, I will be omitting the "In 3 Panels or Less" rule for this and will do a brief summary of the movies plot. While I have chosen to gloss over the Ninja Quest I will watch it after the movie mainly to see which truly got it right. I'll save that brief exchange for right at the end.

The year was 1995.

Power Rangers was a smash hit with children and was every parent's worst nightmare come true. It had 2 seasons under its belt and seemed to be getting stronger with each new episode. It was only a matter of time before Hollywood came a knocking. Regular viewers will know I have a fondness for movies that are "so bad they're good!" which I commonly refer to as "The Cheese Tray" whereas films I have nothing but contempt for and refuse to watch go straight into "The Filing Cabinet."

So you'll be quite surprised to hear this movie isn't on the Cheese Tray at all. Yes. I'm willing to tolerate and LOVE Batman & Robin, but really find this movie to be mediocre at best.

For starters, it makes the same mistake a lot of big screen adaptations of beloved Childrens shows do when they jump from TV to Movie Screen. They begin with what we're all familair with and about half way through invest in shit nobody really cares about! Because if you asked me to sum up the Power Rangers in a sentence, it would be "Teenage Super Heroes who fight Japanese stock footage!" whereas I'd never say "Going on a spiritual quest while the main villain does bugger all!"

Guess what this film is about? There's a reason we haven't had another Power Rangers film in over 20 years.

The first warning sign happens right as the movie begins, with a very Star Wars inspired text scroll in outerspace. I know this is mainly for the unfortunate parents dragged along for the ride, but the main target audience wouldn't need a refresher course like this. Since I can't find a place for this in the review, I'll say it here. This movie isn't exactly canon with the series or Season 3 at all. Hence why it's not apart of that summary. So the movie does have a few creative liberties in terms of story, costumes and a random pig with a monacle we'll never see again and is entirely pointless.

I can sort of understand why they did that. The thought process must have been "Hey, IT'S A MOVIE!!! Either go big or go home!" a lesson its 2017 grandchild must have taken to heart. One weird thing to gripe about is that the movie has a different title. On the DVD box, posters and promotional matriel it's "Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie!" yet in the title reveal it's simply "Power Rangers: The Movie!" I know it's a weird thing to nitpick but why the inconcistency?

When we first see the Rangers they seem a lot peppier than usual. Maybe they were slipped a few anti depressents after reading the awful script. Jokes aside, I'm glad the movie is somewhat consistent with the casting choices and didn't recast anyone cus "MOVIE!!!" I mean the costumes are all wrong but we'll get to that later.

Angel Grove must be the greatest school in the history of education. Their students get to participate in dirt bike races, karate classes, becoming peace ambassadors, trips to Australia and now sky diving for charity. I think all we ever did when I was in school was visit the Bristol Musuem, take a trip to the sea-side and one really shitty trip to Normandy.

Now maybe its the DVD I have, but does anyone else notice that everyone sounds a little "high pitched?" For in the scene where Tommy says "Thanks man" more times than nessacary, he really sounds squeaky. I'm not sure if it's a result of the filming or audio manipulation but that just kinda sticks out for me. So we go from one extreme sports scene with shitty 90's music and we go straight into.... another extreme sports scene with shitty 90's music. This is a problem with using "current popular music" in your film. It'll look horrifically dated in a decades time. Granted there are a few exceptions to that rule (Smash Mouth) but its usually best to avoid chart topping songs of the year in your films. Macy Gray in Spider-Man 1 being a prime example. Now the movie does have a few positives. Besides Amy Jo Johnson being so UNBELIEVABLY HOT (And she still is to this day) and those pink booty shorts she wears for the majority of the movie. The other major thing this movie has going for it is its chief villain.

Ivan Ooze.

Easily one of the best Power Rangers related things of all time. I will never really rain on Paul Freeman's performance because he is what a Power Rangers villain should be. Campy, over the top, wacky and just acceptable enough so parents don't complain which leads to him being watered down. It is a shame for longtime villains Rita and Zedd end up sitting the movie out. Whereas if all 3 of them teamed up, we'd have a much better movie than the one we got.

What I really love about Ivan is, he pretty much represents anyone who doesn't like this series. He constantly talks shit about the heroes, villains and openly mocks everything that is going on. The "Oooooh, where's my autograph book?" line being one of the best sarcastic replies I've ever heard. Yet what I don't understand is, he is clearly the strongest character in this movie's universe, yet he runs away to let the Rangers fight purple Zombie men. I'd of just killed them myself.... But then we wouldn't have a movie ya know?

Watching him talk smack to everyone is highly entertaining yet once we hit the half way mark, the character begins running out of things to do and he ultimately becomes uninteresting.

The quarry fight is arguably the movies best segment, because we're seeing the Rangers being the Rangers. Granted the music is hilariously awful, it is still showing these characters doing what they're best for known for but with a much higher budget. Then of course we come to "the costumes!" For all the shit everyone gives the 2017 reboot, these outfits are just as bad if not more comical.

They look like they're wearing the kind of shit Bianca Beauchamp or Ariane Saint-Amour wear in leather fetish photoshoots. That really tacky latex costumes that you swear were made by Joel Schumacher. They're pretty bad in practice but in concept they do kinda make sense. While we have to take Super Sentai's word for it, the costumes of the Rangers never really looked like armor or protective combat gear. This interpretation does at least strike me as some kind of combat suit or something designed to protect the human body. Yet you know it's kinda sad when Ant-Man and Black Panther look more like Power Rangers than the Power Rangers do in their own movie.

Guy: Which one? The 1995 Movie or the 2017 Reboot?
Me: ... Yes.

What's even siller is the movie exclusive additions and weapons. The Yellow Ranger having headlights, Red Ranger becomes a T800, the Pink Ranger's bondage whip, the Blue Ranger's "Steggo Stinger" and Tommy's wire work make this movie sillier than it needs to be. While all this cheese is happening, Ivan destroys the Command Center, effectively killing Zordon, the Rangers powers and the movies overall enjoyment factor.

This is something I've never understood. Now I know the "IT'S A NON CANON MOVIE!!" excuse can shoot down these points, but fuck you I do what I want. Their powers were not tied directly into Zordon but rather there power coins. In the series, Green Ranger destroyed the Command Center and they still had their powers. I know had a brief segment where they couldn't morph due to said damage, yet they could morph just fine before the "We don't have the right stock footage for this action so let's pad this out!" moment. Season 3 tried to explain this poorly but its a rather weak justification that "Oh they have no powers now!" when in fact their Power Coins would have worked just fine without Zordon being alive. Now if the movie had Ivan reappear after dealing with Zordon and destroyed their power coins THEN that'd be a different story. Yet as it stands, it's a rather stupid plot hole I'm surprised nobody addressed when writing the script.

Writer: And that should close Act 1.
Editor: Wait, aren't we going to address the plothole with their powers?

Boss: Jimmy, you're fired!

After Kimberly's attrocious father figure line (seriously it's that awful) They're transported to an alien planet and the movie becomes boring. Our heroes are on a "spiritual quest" that isn't remotely interesting. Our villains are either sitting around doing nothing or making Zombie Parents dance. While watching this movie, I began to read comics or work on sprites at that point. Ivan is trying to keep the movie alive with his one liners, but it is a lost cause by this point.

You'd think having a half naked woman would make a movie interesting, but it really doesn't. Feminist Myth Busted I suppose.

A common theme with 90's movies is moral lessons and seeking a deeper meaning. You saw this shit in the first Pokemon movie (the American dub that is) and here it's a similair theme. You have the Rangers embracing a spirtitual side with the Ninjetti powers.... Which are ultimately dismissed when they get their old powers back and kill Ivan. Sure you have that touching scene when they save Zordon but it's ultimately a wasted effort.

Now we've reached the final act and its Zord time. Normally the giant mecha on monster fight is the best thing about Power Rangers. Yet here, its incredibly tedious and uglier than a Playstation 1 graphic. I appreciate the fact they give the seperate zords more to do than Kakuranger ever did, but this shit is hideous even for 1995 standards. Speaking of Kakuranger, I know the wacky poses and what not are a tradition with Super Sentai, yet was there a need to badly replicate that here? The Zord summoning sequence looks really, really fucking terrible. Why didn't the giant bug monsters just step on them? They were in range for a stomping. The Ninja Megazord fight was ultimately pointless and a constant reminder that CGI (even by todays standards) is no match for guys in rubber suits. Also I know I'm echoing the words of the Nostalgia Critic here, but if the great power can do ANYTHING, what was stopping them from doing the scenario you see in the comic?

And there is no way of saying this without you giving me a funny look, and something my editor will no doubt question. But it needs to be said. FUCK THE KID CHARACTER!!!! This Fred character really serves NO purpose in this film. I know the natural defense for him is "he's meant to represent the intended audience/age demo and to show they can be a hero too!" And my response to that comes in 3 parts.

1. When I'm watching The Avengers, Deadpool or Batman 1989, I'm not saying to myself "Gee, I sure hope a character who is intended to represent me comes along, grabs the spotlight and NEVER puts it down!" Fuck off. You watch a movie about the Power Rangers Movie to see the Power Rangers. Not some little twerp who is clearly one of the producer's kids. He is annoying, out of place and removing him all together would improve the movies quality by 20%.... Granted that'll bring it up to 30% in quality but I digress.

2. If this character is supposed to represent "the intended audience" then why is he a Gary Stu? He is basically a perfect child and can do ANYTHING! He isn't effected by Ivan Ooze's mind control, he knows how to opperate a crane, he can control a Monorail and is able to locate all the major plot related characters somehow. Fuck me, I think we've found a potential husband for Rey from Star Wars..... By the time Force Awakens came out, he'd be in his late 20's before you give me weird looks.

3. ...... I don't need a third, cus the first two are so great.

Bottom line. This movie was okay for 1995 standards, but it needs to be burried in it's own plot device egg deep underground! The first action scene was okay but it ultimately drags on with ideas that are really pointless and stupid. Why would you want to see the Rangers being spiritual? Why would you want to see your main villain doing sod all? Why would you want to see nothing for about 40 minutes? Why did they think a kid character was THAT IMPORTANT!!?? Power Rangers (1995) sets the bar really low but so sets your expectations for a good movie from this franchise equally low.

Now for the quick Ninja Quest Comparrison.

Both begin with an extreme sport (Sky diving - VolleyBall)
Both introduce a comical villain (Ivan Ooze - Rito Revolto)
New Villain destroys the Ranger's powers.
New Villain introduces Tengu Warriors.
Comically bad mentor gives them new powers (Dulcea and Ninjor)
Both end with the destruction of a purple monster (Ivan Ooze and Vampiris)

The main difference however is that we get more Ranger action and less being spiritual.

Both are still meh, but the movie is at least shorter.

Description
Brief Intermission to watch MMPR: The Movie.
(Also means I'll skip over the Ninja Quest for I'm not watching "the same basic story" twice)

Starring.
Beretta as The White Ranger.
Prima as The Black Ranger.
Dom Fury as The Pink Ranger.
Espio Manditori as The Blue Ranger.
Mya Margarita as The Yellow Ranger.
Erin O'Leary as The Red Ranger.
Bernie Sanders as Zordon.
AlphaOmegaSin as Alpha5.

As Rita.
As Lord Zedd.
Cute Yet Offensive Panda as Goldar.

Charlotte Ness as Dulcea.
And Davkd Dodger as Ivan Ooze.

With Editing Assistance as always from

By the time you read this, the 2017 movie will have been released or on DVD knowing my luck. So I've prepared 3 statements in advance depending on the movies eventual quality.

IF THE MOVIE IS GOOD.
I'm actually surprised it managed not to shit its pants. Congratulations, Power Rangers 2017. You have defied my expectations and produced a generally acceptable experience for modern audiences..... Though I am still not going to see your film.

IF THE MOVIE IS AVERAGE/MEDIOCRE/FORGETTABLE.
Not surprised. Perhaps Hollywood will finally understand that remaking old ideas isn't popular anymore.

IF THE MOVIE IS SHIT.
As expected.

I know what you're gonna say "I bet you love the original movie and just want to talk shit about the reboot!" While I recall doing a Reaction & Review-UK a thousand years ago, this review represents my current thoughts on the 1995 cheesetray we call "Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie!" Since the movie isn't your standard 20 minute Saturday morning kids show, I will be omitting the "In 3 Panels or Less" rule for this and will do a brief summary of the movies plot. While I have chosen to gloss over the Ninja Quest I will watch it after the movie mainly to see which truly got it right. I'll save that brief exchange for right at the end.

The year was 1995.

Power Rangers was a smash hit with children and was every parent's worst nightmare come true. It had 2 seasons under its belt and seemed to be getting stronger with each new episode. It was only a matter of time before Hollywood came a knocking. Regular viewers will know I have a fondness for movies that are "so bad they're good!" which I commonly refer to as "The Cheese Tray" whereas films I have nothing but contempt for and refuse to watch go straight into "The Filing Cabinet."

So you'll be quite surprised to hear this movie isn't on the Cheese Tray at all. Yes. I'm willing to tolerate and LOVE Batman & Robin, but really find this movie to be mediocre at best.

For starters, it makes the same mistake a lot of big screen adaptations of beloved Childrens shows do when they jump from TV to Movie Screen. They begin with what we're all familair with and about half way through invest in shit nobody really cares about! Because if you asked me to sum up the Power Rangers in a sentence, it would be "Teenage Super Heroes who fight Japanese stock footage!" whereas I'd never say "Going on a spiritual quest while the main villain does bugger all!"

Guess what this film is about? There's a reason we haven't had another Power Rangers film in over 20 years.

The first warning sign happens right as the movie begins, with a very Star Wars inspired text scroll in outerspace. I know this is mainly for the unfortunate parents dragged along for the ride, but the main target audience wouldn't need a refresher course like this. Since I can't find a place for this in the review, I'll say it here. This movie isn't exactly canon with the series or Season 3 at all. Hence why it's not apart of that summary. So the movie does have a few creative liberties in terms of story, costumes and a random pig with a monacle we'll never see again and is entirely pointless.

I can sort of understand why they did that. The thought process must have been "Hey, IT'S A MOVIE!!! Either go big or go home!" a lesson its 2017 grandchild must have taken to heart. One weird thing to gripe about is that the movie has a different title. On the DVD box, posters and promotional matriel it's "Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie!" yet in the title reveal it's simply "Power Rangers: The Movie!" I know it's a weird thing to nitpick but why the inconcistency?

When we first see the Rangers they seem a lot peppier than usual. Maybe they were slipped a few anti depressents after reading the awful script. Jokes aside, I'm glad the movie is somewhat consistent with the casting choices and didn't recast anyone cus "MOVIE!!!" I mean the costumes are all wrong but we'll get to that later.

Angel Grove must be the greatest school in the history of education. Their students get to participate in dirt bike races, karate classes, becoming peace ambassadors, trips to Australia and now sky diving for charity. I think all we ever did when I was in school was visit the Bristol Musuem, take a trip to the sea-side and one really shitty trip to Normandy.

Now maybe its the DVD I have, but does anyone else notice that everyone sounds a little "high pitched?" For in the scene where Tommy says "Thanks man" more times than nessacary, he really sounds squeaky. I'm not sure if it's a result of the filming or audio manipulation but that just kinda sticks out for me. So we go from one extreme sports scene with shitty 90's music and we go straight into.... another extreme sports scene with shitty 90's music. This is a problem with using "current popular music" in your film. It'll look horrifically dated in a decades time. Granted there are a few exceptions to that rule (Smash Mouth) but its usually best to avoid chart topping songs of the year in your films. Macy Gray in Spider-Man 1 being a prime example. Now the movie does have a few positives. Besides Amy Jo Johnson being so UNBELIEVABLY HOT (And she still is to this day) and those pink booty shorts she wears for the majority of the movie. The other major thing this movie has going for it is its chief villain.

Ivan Ooze.

Easily one of the best Power Rangers related things of all time. I will never really rain on Paul Freeman's performance because he is what a Power Rangers villain should be. Campy, over the top, wacky and just acceptable enough so parents don't complain which leads to him being watered down. It is a shame for longtime villains Rita and Zedd end up sitting the movie out. Whereas if all 3 of them teamed up, we'd have a much better movie than the one we got.

What I really love about Ivan is, he pretty much represents anyone who doesn't like this series. He constantly talks shit about the heroes, villains and openly mocks everything that is going on. The "Oooooh, where's my autograph book?" line being one of the best sarcastic replies I've ever heard. Yet what I don't understand is, he is clearly the strongest character in this movie's universe, yet he runs away to let the Rangers fight purple Zombie men. I'd of just killed them myself.... But then we wouldn't have a movie ya know?

Watching him talk smack to everyone is highly entertaining yet once we hit the half way mark, the character begins running out of things to do and he ultimately becomes uninteresting.

The quarry fight is arguably the movies best segment, because we're seeing the Rangers being the Rangers. Granted the music is hilariously awful, it is still showing these characters doing what they're best for known for but with a much higher budget. Then of course we come to "the costumes!" For all the shit everyone gives the 2017 reboot, these outfits are just as bad if not more comical.

They look like they're wearing the kind of shit Bianca Beauchamp or Ariane Saint-Amour wear in leather fetish photoshoots. That really tacky latex costumes that you swear were made by Joel Schumacher. They're pretty bad in practice but in concept they do kinda make sense. While we have to take Super Sentai's word for it, the costumes of the Rangers never really looked like armor or protective combat gear. This interpretation does at least strike me as some kind of combat suit or something designed to protect the human body. Yet you know it's kinda sad when Ant-Man and Black Panther look more like Power Rangers than the Power Rangers do in their own movie.

Guy: Which one? The 1995 Movie or the 2017 Reboot?
Me: ... Yes.

What's even siller is the movie exclusive additions and weapons. The Yellow Ranger having headlights, Red Ranger becomes a T800, the Pink Ranger's bondage whip, the Blue Ranger's "Steggo Stinger" and Tommy's wire work make this movie sillier than it needs to be. While all this cheese is happening, Ivan destroys the Command Center, effectively killing Zordon, the Rangers powers and the movies overall enjoyment factor.

This is something I've never understood. Now I know the "IT'S A NON CANON MOVIE!!" excuse can shoot down these points, but fuck you I do what I want. Their powers were not tied directly into Zordon but rather there power coins. In the series, Green Ranger destroyed the Command Center and they still had their powers. I know had a brief segment where they couldn't morph due to said damage, yet they could morph just fine before the "We don't have the right stock footage for this action so let's pad this out!" moment. Season 3 tried to explain this poorly but its a rather weak justification that "Oh they have no powers now!" when in fact their Power Coins would have worked just fine without Zordon being alive. Now if the movie had Ivan reappear after dealing with Zordon and destroyed their power coins THEN that'd be a different story. Yet as it stands, it's a rather stupid plot hole I'm surprised nobody addressed when writing the script.

Writer: And that should close Act 1.
Editor: Wait, aren't we going to address the plothole with their powers?

Boss: Jimmy, you're fired!

After Kimberly's attrocious father figure line (seriously it's that awful) They're transported to an alien planet and the movie becomes boring. Our heroes are on a "spiritual quest" that isn't remotely interesting. Our villains are either sitting around doing nothing or making Zombie Parents dance. While watching this movie, I began to read comics or work on sprites at that point. Ivan is trying to keep the movie alive with his one liners, but it is a lost cause by this point.

You'd think having a half naked woman would make a movie interesting, but it really doesn't. Feminist Myth Busted I suppose.

A common theme with 90's movies is moral lessons and seeking a deeper meaning. You saw this shit in the first Pokemon movie (the American dub that is) and here it's a similair theme. You have the Rangers embracing a spirtitual side with the Ninjetti powers.... Which are ultimately dismissed when they get their old powers back and kill Ivan. Sure you have that touching scene when they save Zordon but it's ultimately a wasted effort.

Now we've reached the final act and its Zord time. Normally the giant mecha on monster fight is the best thing about Power Rangers. Yet here, its incredibly tedious and uglier than a Playstation 1 graphic. I appreciate the fact they give the seperate zords more to do than Kakuranger ever did, but this shit is hideous even for 1995 standards. Speaking of Kakuranger, I know the wacky poses and what not are a tradition with Super Sentai, yet was there a need to badly replicate that here? The Zord summoning sequence looks really, really fucking terrible. Why didn't the giant bug monsters just step on them? They were in range for a stomping. The Ninja Megazord fight was ultimately pointless and a constant reminder that CGI (even by todays standards) is no match for guys in rubber suits. Also I know I'm echoing the words of the Nostalgia Critic here, but if the great power can do ANYTHING, what was stopping them from doing the scenario you see in the comic?

And there is no way of saying this without you giving me a funny look, and something my editor will no doubt question. But it needs to be said. FUCK THE KID CHARACTER!!!! This Fred character really serves NO purpose in this film. I know the natural defense for him is "he's meant to represent the intended audience/age demo and to show they can be a hero too!" And my response to that comes in 3 parts.

1. When I'm watching The Avengers, Deadpool or Batman 1989, I'm not saying to myself "Gee, I sure hope a character who is intended to represent me comes along, grabs the spotlight and NEVER puts it down!" Fuck off. You watch a movie about the Power Rangers Movie to see the Power Rangers. Not some little twerp who is clearly one of the producer's kids. He is annoying, out of place and removing him all together would improve the movies quality by 20%.... Granted that'll bring it up to 30% in quality but I digress.

2. If this character is supposed to represent "the intended audience" then why is he a Gary Stu? He is basically a perfect child and can do ANYTHING! He isn't effected by Ivan Ooze's mind control, he knows how to opperate a crane, he can control a Monorail and is able to locate all the major plot related characters somehow. Fuck me, I think we've found a potential husband for Rey from Star Wars..... By the time Force Awakens came out, he'd be in his late 20's before you give me weird looks.

3. ...... I don't need a third, cus the first two are so great.

Bottom line. This movie was okay for 1995 standards, but it needs to be burried in it's own plot device egg deep underground! The first action scene was okay but it ultimately drags on with ideas that are really pointless and stupid. Why would you want to see the Rangers being spiritual? Why would you want to see your main villain doing sod all? Why would you want to see nothing for about 40 minutes? Why did they think a kid character was THAT IMPORTANT!!?? Power Rangers (1995) sets the bar really low but so sets your expectations for a good movie from this franchise equally low.

Now for the quick Ninja Quest Comparrison.

Both begin with an extreme sport (Sky diving - VolleyBall)
Both introduce a comical villain (Ivan Ooze - Rito Revolto)
New Villain destroys the Ranger's powers.
New Villain introduces Tengu Warriors.
Comically bad mentor gives them new powers (Dulcea and Ninjor)
Both end with the destruction of a purple monster (Ivan Ooze and Vampiris)

The main difference however is that we get more Ranger action and less being spiritual.

Both are still meh, but the movie is at least shorter.