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Description
I don't think I'll be looking back at May 2017 with a lot of fondness. Sure, January and February are still the joint champions of misery this year but I'd say May would make a good third place contender at the moment. Before we begin May's moments, quick acknowledgement of 2 pieces that happened after April's deadline or I failed to acknowledge.

ANNA APRIL CATCH UPS.
1- The Simpsons mock SJWs.
I'd given up all hope on The Simpsons actually making me laugh. Yet I was howling with laughter with this decent little spoof. What better character to use to demonstrate the idoicy of these lunatics than with Mr.Burns himself.

2 - Bye bye, Sarkeesian.
Well it's been a long time hasn't it folks, but the Feminazi and chief has finally excused herself from the conversation. A conversation she wasn't invited too, and nobody cared what she had to say. It was PAINFULLY obvious this woman doesn't play video games and did not give a shit about this medium. So glad she's slinged her hook back to her local Starbucks, where she'll go back to reading her crappy poetry over her vegan lattes.

Good fucking riddance!

Now, to May we go.

1 - #FireColbert .
I'm gonna be upfront with you, folks. When it comes to unfunny, untalented hacks like Stephen Colbert, Trevor Noah, John Oliver, Samantha Bee, John Stewart and many others like them, I have five words for you.

"I don't give a fuck!"

I hope he does get fired. Maybe then you'll get someone on TV worth watching.... Ya know, for the three of you who still watch TV that is.

2 - The UK Local Elections.
I actually want to address this topic in a big rant planned for June 9th. Because I don't want to make any claims as of now which may contradict events in the future. I don't want jump the gun and say "OH _____ HAS CLEARLY WON IT!!!!" because much like Brexit and Troy "looks can be deceiving!" If you want a brief idea of my thoughts right now? Wait till we get to Diane Abbott in a bit.

3 - Prince Phillip retires.
When I saw this alluded to in my news feed I thought somebody died. My headline in the comic sums up my thoughts perfectly. I don't really have an opinion on the Royal Family, nor do I wish any ill will towards them. I personally view them as an outdated tradition we don't really need anymore.

4 - Batman/The Shadow.
I currently have Issue 1 and I'm enjoying this so far. Stay tuned for more updates for I may cover this in a review down the road. I've recently got into The Shadow and I'm kicking myself for not discovering this character sooner. This kind of thing is right up my alley and I'll be tracking down any back issues/current comics featuring this character.

5 - R.I.P. Pepe the Frog.
On the one hand, I understand why Matt did what he did. Something he created was transformed from it's original intent into a rallying point for people to fight the system.... And "used as a hate symbol" if you actually believe the fake news narrative. I say that because ANYONE can use Pepe and it can mean whatever the hell they like. So he felt he needed to wash his hands of this so it could potentially die off.

But on the other hand, if I may quote Two & a Half Men for a second. "You really don't get the Internet, do you?" This won't stop anything to be perfectly honest with you. Pepe is going to be a thing until people get bored of it and move on.

I get why you did it, Matt, but it was a worthless gesture.

6 - French Election 2017.
randomdc3.deviantart.com/art/M…

7 - Bill Nye the Laughing Stock.
Oh Bill. What happened?

I see you're editing episodes of your old Disney series. What's a matter? Afraid you'll offend your new SJW pals are ya?

I'm gonna keep this nice and simple for ya, Bill. Forcing your believes and world view onto me isn't going to make me a believer or your friend. It will make me resent you, ridicule you and stand by and watch you drown.

8 - Piers Morgan Vs Diane Abbott.
If someone asks me "Why didn't you vote for Labour?" I'll just link them to this interview.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=CwlfPo…

I cannot trust a party who cannot answer a straight forward question. I'm not interested in your views on Nuclear weapons, Diane. I need to know that IF we are attacked by a rogue power, ISIS or even North Korea with a Nuclear based weapon. Will you make the difficult choice in pressing the button to retaliate.

Yes.
Or.
No?

It's a very straight forward question. You say either "Yes, we would make that difficult choice!" or "No, for we believe that we have better strategies!" All you had to do Diane to shut Piers Morgan up was say one of 2 words. Yes or No. That's it. He just wanted to know YES OR NO? I found myself screaming at my computer screen "ANSWER THE FUCKING QUESTION!!" when I watched this interview. Labour are just so infuriating to deal with for this single reason alone. Yes, I know you're all a bunch of hippies, marxists, commuists and idiots. I get that, I know you want to sit down to tea with ISIS or give Castro a great big hug. I get it. BUT, I cannot trust you if you lack the ability to answer a simple question. God, could you imagine living with this woman?

Me: I'm going to the chippie, do you want some chips?
Diane: ..... We firmly believe in our policies that a sensible government should address the important issues.
Me: .... That's not what I asked you. Do you want some chips?
Diane: A Labour government is prepared to address the concerns of the British people....
Me: Fine, you're getting nothing then. Fuck you!

9 - Two Scoops of Troy.
See I had a whole segment about Troy firing the head of the FBI. Yet I was linked to this rather surreal news article. At first, I thought this was a piece by The Onion... Then I saw this was from CNN. This is how low the bar has been set, ladies and gentlemen.

CNN are now complaining.... About Ice Cream.

Fucking. Ice Cream!

These people are just beyond desperate now. Are you seriously going to call for the impeachment of Troy, all because has 2 scoops of Ice Cream? What's next, CNN? "TROY WEARS SHOES. HE MUST BE REMOVED FROM OFFICE ASAP!!"

So glad you're a dying network.... Oh and their buddy John Oliver is a tax cheat, just thought you should know.

10 - Marvel keep on sinking.
..... Ya know? I'm done with this subject.

I've made my position crystal clear about Marvel Comics and I'm just tired of repeating myself. I went from being a fan to publicly despising the living shit out of them. They're a clown car full of cockends without an original thought between them. They keep fucking up and being thrown from one scandal to other. At first I was sympathetic for I wanted them to get better. But now? I want to watch them burn.

Former Marvel fans like me have tried to be reasonable, we've tried to be understanding and give their shitty ideas a chance.... But no more.

You keep sucking, Marvel. I'm just going to continue to boycott you until you change your ways.

12 - Samurai Jack.
I hear the series got a conclusion. Their fans are happy, I am happy for them.... But I have no interest in the show.

13 - McHotrod.
While I've never been much of a fan of Hotrod/Rodimus. I'm feeling depressed he's now been introduced into the Bayformers universe.

14 - 2 New Metroid Games?
I doubt it.

15 - The Red Pilling of Laci Green?
I don't buy this for a second. People like Laci Green are not to be trusted.

16 - Cyber Attack rocks the NHS.
I don't have much to say on this, but hopefully security will be improved because of this.

17 - Eurovision 2017.
Yay for Portugal I guess?

18 - Sonic Forces.
People like to make jokes about "Original the Character" is officially canon or that people are gonna attempt to create "one paticular Sonic OC" for this game. I however think this is the best possible thing Sega could have done for the Sonic series. And believe me, it's clearly worked for you're all talking about it. Sonic OCs are not only the butt of far too many idiots jokes (hi Dorkly, Smosh and Screwattack) but they're sadly very popular within the Sonic Community. The thought process must of been that Sonic Team got sick and tired of everyone complaining about any addition to Sonic's ever expanding friends and basically said "FINE, IF YOU'RE ALL SO FUCKING CLEVER! YOU DO IT!!"

I see plently of potential for this idea, maybe if they add more animal races as DLC or have console exclusive content. Maybe a Sly Cooper and Ratchet costume for PS4, Master Chief power armour for the Xbone version and Nintendo character items for the Switch version.... Even to the point you can have a Yellow Sonic with Pikachu's ears and tail.

I feel like Sega are getting the series back on course with this and Sonic Mania.... I'm just dying to see how they fuck it up this time.

19 - Injustice 2.
Review coming soon. Preowned of course, because I ain't paying full price for a company run by dickheads who love microtransactions.

20 - 23 - The UK Election.
Again, I ain't saying a word till it's over.

24 - Venom.
A movie born out of spite against the MCU and produced by a man who is more out of touch than Angela Murkel. No wonder I have zero faith in this movie. The sad part is, it stars my all time fav Marvel villain and second fav Marvel character, Venom. I'm gonna do what I always do and wait for a trailer.... Yet don't be surprised if he goes straight in the filing cabinet.

Or the film even gets passed the planning stages.

25 - Manchester Bombing.
Believe me guys, I wanted this to be a simple accident. Maybe some faulty wiring, a speaker malfunction or maybe someone spilled liquid onto a plug.

But, it looks like ISIS are not Ariana Grande fans.

For the record, I don't like Ariana Grande (her name sounds like a latte you get at Starbucks) but I am relieved to hear she is okay and came to no harm. I want her to stop making music, but not because of her death.

I do agree with the sentiments made by "Troy" in that we shouldn't call this bomber a monster, because they'd probably get off to that.

Call him what he truly is.... A loser.

Finally, I want to say one thing about the Manchester Bombing.

To the feminists using the Manchester tragedy to advance their agendas. To the UKIP politicans using said tragedy to boost their polling numbers. To the people who share a hashtag on Twitter of this tragedy and then move onto the next thing trending. To the people who want to spew the same old narratives for their own personal gain at the expense of the dead children....

THIS.
IS.
NOT.
ABOUT.
YOU!!!!!

People were killed by a crazed lunatic and all you can do is think about yourselves.

Fuck you. You're all pricks.

30 - Eric Clanton arressted.
Got exactly what you deserved, shit head.

31 - Netflix Castlevania.
Alucard: I'm interested in this.

32 - Fidget Spinners.
..... No comment.

33 - Mass Effect goes on hold.
While I have yet to play the third game, I'm glad to hear this series is going bye bye for awhile. After a third game that pissed in everyones cornflakes and a fourth entry that had it's PR guy shouting "I HATE WHITE PEOPLE!" from the rafters then I'm pefectly fine with it fucking off.

It can sit next to Assassin's Creed in the time out corner and think about what it's done to gaming.

34 - Friday the 13th: The Game.
Review coming soon.

35 - Shia LeBeouf sued.
I was almost worried that my friend Shia wasn't going to show up for this Month Review. This is what the asshat gets for shooting his fucking mouth off when his little circle joke blows up in his face. I do have a feeling this is it for old Shia's contributions to the Month Reviews. He was a good source of comedy but I feel he's wised up and is avoiding attention now.

Shia LeBeouf's humour value.
January 2017 - May 2017

Description
I don't think I'll be looking back at May 2017 with a lot of fondness. Sure, January and February are still the joint champions of misery this year but I'd say May would make a good third place contender at the moment. Before we begin May's moments, quick acknowledgement of 2 pieces that happened after April's deadline or I failed to acknowledge.

ANNA APRIL CATCH UPS.
1- The Simpsons mock SJWs.
I'd given up all hope on The Simpsons actually making me laugh. Yet I was howling with laughter with this decent little spoof. What better character to use to demonstrate the idoicy of these lunatics than with Mr.Burns himself.

2 - Bye bye, Sarkeesian.
Well it's been a long time hasn't it folks, but the Feminazi and chief has finally excused herself from the conversation. A conversation she wasn't invited too, and nobody cared what she had to say. It was PAINFULLY obvious this woman doesn't play video games and did not give a shit about this medium. So glad she's slinged her hook back to her local Starbucks, where she'll go back to reading her crappy poetry over her vegan lattes.

Good fucking riddance!

Now, to May we go.

1 - #FireColbert .
I'm gonna be upfront with you, folks. When it comes to unfunny, untalented hacks like Stephen Colbert, Trevor Noah, John Oliver, Samantha Bee, John Stewart and many others like them, I have five words for you.

"I don't give a fuck!"

I hope he does get fired. Maybe then you'll get someone on TV worth watching.... Ya know, for the three of you who still watch TV that is.

2 - The UK Local Elections.
I actually want to address this topic in a big rant planned for June 9th. Because I don't want to make any claims as of now which may contradict events in the future. I don't want jump the gun and say "OH _____ HAS CLEARLY WON IT!!!!" because much like Brexit and Troy "looks can be deceiving!" If you want a brief idea of my thoughts right now? Wait till we get to Diane Abbott in a bit.

3 - Prince Phillip retires.
When I saw this alluded to in my news feed I thought somebody died. My headline in the comic sums up my thoughts perfectly. I don't really have an opinion on the Royal Family, nor do I wish any ill will towards them. I personally view them as an outdated tradition we don't really need anymore.

4 - Batman/The Shadow.
I currently have Issue 1 and I'm enjoying this so far. Stay tuned for more updates for I may cover this in a review down the road. I've recently got into The Shadow and I'm kicking myself for not discovering this character sooner. This kind of thing is right up my alley and I'll be tracking down any back issues/current comics featuring this character.

5 - R.I.P. Pepe the Frog.
On the one hand, I understand why Matt did what he did. Something he created was transformed from it's original intent into a rallying point for people to fight the system.... And "used as a hate symbol" if you actually believe the fake news narrative. I say that because ANYONE can use Pepe and it can mean whatever the hell they like. So he felt he needed to wash his hands of this so it could potentially die off.

But on the other hand, if I may quote Two & a Half Men for a second. "You really don't get the Internet, do you?" This won't stop anything to be perfectly honest with you. Pepe is going to be a thing until people get bored of it and move on.

I get why you did it, Matt, but it was a worthless gesture.

6 - French Election 2017.
randomdc3.deviantart.com/art/M…

7 - Bill Nye the Laughing Stock.
Oh Bill. What happened?

I see you're editing episodes of your old Disney series. What's a matter? Afraid you'll offend your new SJW pals are ya?

I'm gonna keep this nice and simple for ya, Bill. Forcing your believes and world view onto me isn't going to make me a believer or your friend. It will make me resent you, ridicule you and stand by and watch you drown.

8 - Piers Morgan Vs Diane Abbott.
If someone asks me "Why didn't you vote for Labour?" I'll just link them to this interview.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=CwlfPo…

I cannot trust a party who cannot answer a straight forward question. I'm not interested in your views on Nuclear weapons, Diane. I need to know that IF we are attacked by a rogue power, ISIS or even North Korea with a Nuclear based weapon. Will you make the difficult choice in pressing the button to retaliate.

Yes.
Or.
No?

It's a very straight forward question. You say either "Yes, we would make that difficult choice!" or "No, for we believe that we have better strategies!" All you had to do Diane to shut Piers Morgan up was say one of 2 words. Yes or No. That's it. He just wanted to know YES OR NO? I found myself screaming at my computer screen "ANSWER THE FUCKING QUESTION!!" when I watched this interview. Labour are just so infuriating to deal with for this single reason alone. Yes, I know you're all a bunch of hippies, marxists, commuists and idiots. I get that, I know you want to sit down to tea with ISIS or give Castro a great big hug. I get it. BUT, I cannot trust you if you lack the ability to answer a simple question. God, could you imagine living with this woman?

Me: I'm going to the chippie, do you want some chips?
Diane: ..... We firmly believe in our policies that a sensible government should address the important issues.
Me: .... That's not what I asked you. Do you want some chips?
Diane: A Labour government is prepared to address the concerns of the British people....
Me: Fine, you're getting nothing then. Fuck you!

9 - Two Scoops of Troy.
See I had a whole segment about Troy firing the head of the FBI. Yet I was linked to this rather surreal news article. At first, I thought this was a piece by The Onion... Then I saw this was from CNN. This is how low the bar has been set, ladies and gentlemen.

CNN are now complaining.... About Ice Cream.

Fucking. Ice Cream!

These people are just beyond desperate now. Are you seriously going to call for the impeachment of Troy, all because has 2 scoops of Ice Cream? What's next, CNN? "TROY WEARS SHOES. HE MUST BE REMOVED FROM OFFICE ASAP!!"

So glad you're a dying network.... Oh and their buddy John Oliver is a tax cheat, just thought you should know.

10 - Marvel keep on sinking.
..... Ya know? I'm done with this subject.

I've made my position crystal clear about Marvel Comics and I'm just tired of repeating myself. I went from being a fan to publicly despising the living shit out of them. They're a clown car full of cockends without an original thought between them. They keep fucking up and being thrown from one scandal to other. At first I was sympathetic for I wanted them to get better. But now? I want to watch them burn.

Former Marvel fans like me have tried to be reasonable, we've tried to be understanding and give their shitty ideas a chance.... But no more.

You keep sucking, Marvel. I'm just going to continue to boycott you until you change your ways.

12 - Samurai Jack.
I hear the series got a conclusion. Their fans are happy, I am happy for them.... But I have no interest in the show.

13 - McHotrod.
While I've never been much of a fan of Hotrod/Rodimus. I'm feeling depressed he's now been introduced into the Bayformers universe.

14 - 2 New Metroid Games?
I doubt it.

15 - The Red Pilling of Laci Green?
I don't buy this for a second. People like Laci Green are not to be trusted.

16 - Cyber Attack rocks the NHS.
I don't have much to say on this, but hopefully security will be improved because of this.

17 - Eurovision 2017.
Yay for Portugal I guess?

18 - Sonic Forces.
People like to make jokes about "Original the Character" is officially canon or that people are gonna attempt to create "one paticular Sonic OC" for this game. I however think this is the best possible thing Sega could have done for the Sonic series. And believe me, it's clearly worked for you're all talking about it. Sonic OCs are not only the butt of far too many idiots jokes (hi Dorkly, Smosh and Screwattack) but they're sadly very popular within the Sonic Community. The thought process must of been that Sonic Team got sick and tired of everyone complaining about any addition to Sonic's ever expanding friends and basically said "FINE, IF YOU'RE ALL SO FUCKING CLEVER! YOU DO IT!!"

I see plently of potential for this idea, maybe if they add more animal races as DLC or have console exclusive content. Maybe a Sly Cooper and Ratchet costume for PS4, Master Chief power armour for the Xbone version and Nintendo character items for the Switch version.... Even to the point you can have a Yellow Sonic with Pikachu's ears and tail.

I feel like Sega are getting the series back on course with this and Sonic Mania.... I'm just dying to see how they fuck it up this time.

19 - Injustice 2.
Review coming soon. Preowned of course, because I ain't paying full price for a company run by dickheads who love microtransactions.

20 - 23 - The UK Election.
Again, I ain't saying a word till it's over.

24 - Venom.
A movie born out of spite against the MCU and produced by a man who is more out of touch than Angela Murkel. No wonder I have zero faith in this movie. The sad part is, it stars my all time fav Marvel villain and second fav Marvel character, Venom. I'm gonna do what I always do and wait for a trailer.... Yet don't be surprised if he goes straight in the filing cabinet.

Or the film even gets passed the planning stages.

25 - Manchester Bombing.
Believe me guys, I wanted this to be a simple accident. Maybe some faulty wiring, a speaker malfunction or maybe someone spilled liquid onto a plug.

But, it looks like ISIS are not Ariana Grande fans.

For the record, I don't like Ariana Grande (her name sounds like a latte you get at Starbucks) but I am relieved to hear she is okay and came to no harm. I want her to stop making music, but not because of her death.

I do agree with the sentiments made by "Troy" in that we shouldn't call this bomber a monster, because they'd probably get off to that.

Call him what he truly is.... A loser.

Finally, I want to say one thing about the Manchester Bombing.

To the feminists using the Manchester tragedy to advance their agendas. To the UKIP politicans using said tragedy to boost their polling numbers. To the people who share a hashtag on Twitter of this tragedy and then move onto the next thing trending. To the people who want to spew the same old narratives for their own personal gain at the expense of the dead children....

THIS.
IS.
NOT.
ABOUT.
YOU!!!!!

People were killed by a crazed lunatic and all you can do is think about yourselves.

Fuck you. You're all pricks.

30 - Eric Clanton arressted.
Got exactly what you deserved, shit head.

31 - Netflix Castlevania.
Alucard: I'm interested in this.

32 - Fidget Spinners.
..... No comment.

33 - Mass Effect goes on hold.
While I have yet to play the third game, I'm glad to hear this series is going bye bye for awhile. After a third game that pissed in everyones cornflakes and a fourth entry that had it's PR guy shouting "I HATE WHITE PEOPLE!" from the rafters then I'm pefectly fine with it fucking off.

It can sit next to Assassin's Creed in the time out corner and think about what it's done to gaming.

34 - Friday the 13th: The Game.
Review coming soon.

35 - Shia LeBeouf sued.
I was almost worried that my friend Shia wasn't going to show up for this Month Review. This is what the asshat gets for shooting his fucking mouth off when his little circle joke blows up in his face. I do have a feeling this is it for old Shia's contributions to the Month Reviews. He was a good source of comedy but I feel he's wised up and is avoiding attention now.

Shia LeBeouf's humour value.
January 2017 - May 2017