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RavenfeatherForever — xWarrior-Catsx Contest entry [NSFW]
Published: 2010-08-29 01:58:37 +0000 UTC; Views: 7754; Favourites: 190; Downloads: 15
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Description Warrior Cat Jokes, Contest Entry. Beware Of suggestive....things...xD

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Jayfeather: -perks ears when smelling a familiar scent- Hello, Cinderheart.
Cinderheart: Hey there, sexy.
Jayfeather: Excuse me?
Cinderheart: -pounces on Jayfeather- You heard me.
Jayfeather: If I'm sexy, mind explaining to me what I look like?
Cinderheart: A light gray tabby with baby blue eyes.
Jayfeather: Great StarClan, I AM sexy aren't I?

--

Spiderleg: -walks in with a kink in his tail-
Jayfeather: Spiderleg, can I help you with something?
Spiderleg: Why would I need help with something?! -fur bristling-
Jayfeather: Daisy's trying to rape you again, isn't she?
Spiderleg: ...
Jayfeather: -sigh- I'll go get the mouse intestines.

--

Jayfeather: Hey, Cinderheart, wanna hear a joke?
Cinderheart: -sits next to Jayfeather eyes wide- SURE!
Jayfeather: ... Firestar.
Cinderheart: -looks disappointed- I don't get it. -Tilts head-

--

Jayfeather: -hears caterwauling in the middle of the night- Great StarClan, what was that?
Cinderheart: Don't worry, it's just Ferncloud and Dustpelt...
Jeayfeather: And he wonders why he has a bad back.

--

Cinderpaw: Ugh! I hate this injury! I can hardly even walk! I wish I could ride on a warriors back so I could still go into the forest...
Jaypaw: You can ride on my stick.
Cinderpaw: O_O
Jaypaw: That didn't come out right...
--
Nightcloud: - I mean, what is your problem?!
Crowfeather: -looks bored- What kind of conversation is this?
Nightcloud: -continues to bitch- I mean come on! You chose me over her but you OBVIOUSLY love her more. You impregnated her with three freaking kits!
Crowfeather: - -_-'' - ...
Nightcloud: And how many kits did you give me?! One! ONE? COME ON- ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME CROWFEATHER?!
Crowfeather: -is snoring softly-
Nightcloud: Crowfeather, you will give me more kits whether you like it or not  -goes and gets a sharp stick-

--

Thrushpelt: Great catch, Bluefur!
Bluefur: -is embarrassed- Erm, thanks
Thrushpelt: I loved that thing you did when you waggled your hindquarters, could you show me how to do it?
Bluefur: -awkward silence-
Thrushpelt: ...Yeah I think I'm gonna leave now

--

Jayfeather: Your fur looks so beautiful in the Moonlight
Cinderheart: -blushes under pelt- Oh Jayfeather.....YOU STUPID PIECE OF FOX-DUNG! I HATE it when you do that!
Jayfeather: -grins-

--

Whitestorm: -purrs- I love you
Willowpelt: -presses against Whitestorm- I love you too. And I always will
Whitestorm: The day I stop loving you will be the day that StarClan doesn't exist
Willowpelt: Aw, you are such a horrible flirt -purrs-
*Brindleface walks in*
Whitestorm: ...
Willowpelt: -coughs-
Brindleface: -is not impressed- Really?
Whitestorm: ... Can I explain?
Brindleface: Go ahead
Whitestorm: Well I...-
Brindleface: -walks away-
Whitestorm: Great StarClan, I'm dead

--

Bramblepaw: *jumps out of nowhere and lands on top of Firestar*
Firestar: Get off my you great lump
Bramblepaw: You didn't see me coming, did you
Firestar: *springs up and flings Bramblepaw into a tree* Bet you didn't see that coming either
Bramblepaw: Ow...
Firestar: Yeah, I thought so

--

Moonflower: - And I had the vole pinned under a tree root and- Stormtail, are you listening to me?
Stormtail: *is staring at Dappletail*
Moonflower: Can you look at your mate for once?
Stormtail: I am
Moonflower: ...I give up

--

Sandstorm: Firestar, did you ever notice how Graystripe seems to hit on all the gray tabbies?
Firestar: What do you mean?
Sandstorm: Silverstream was a gray tabby
Firestar: Yeah,
Sandstorm: Millie is also a gray tabby
Firestar: -facepalm- wow

--

Brambleclaw: Squirrelflight is mine, Ashfur!
Ashfur: Nu-uh! She is mine.
Brambleclaw: No
Ashfur: Yes
Brambleclaw: No
Ashfur: Yes
*Stormfur sitting across the clearing watching*
Stormfur: -sigh- So much incest going on these days…

--

Jaypaw: -goes into random cat's dreams- Hm..I need to find an interesting one. –Stops above Leafpool- I wonder…
*Voices coming from a distance in a grassy plateau-
Leafpool: Y-yes, like that! Keep going!
Crowfeather: Are you sure I shouldn't do that thing I did when I got you pregnant? –Looks seductively at Leafpool-
Leafpool: Ohhhh, yes please! –purrs-
Jaypaw: …..O_O sometimes I wish I couldn't see other cat's "Dreams"
Related content
Comments: 316

Autummstar In reply to ??? [2010-08-29 16:07:05 +0000 UTC]

lol these are great you should win!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

es-chara [2010-08-29 15:40:37 +0000 UTC]

XD lmfao. -dies-

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Treetail [2010-08-29 15:26:52 +0000 UTC]

XD Cinderpaw is now the stick rider! XD
but i didnt get the incest one ... *tilts head* can u explain plz?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

RavenfeatherForever In reply to Treetail [2010-08-29 15:30:28 +0000 UTC]

do you know what incest is?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Treetail In reply to RavenfeatherForever [2010-08-29 16:41:43 +0000 UTC]

yes

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

RavenfeatherForever In reply to Treetail [2010-08-29 16:52:41 +0000 UTC]

well bramble and squirrel are 2nd cousins and ash is squirrels uncle

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Treetail In reply to RavenfeatherForever [2010-08-31 20:55:41 +0000 UTC]

So wait *thinks for a moment* so that would mean that sandstorm and goldenflower shared the same mom/dad? and Ashfur is Sandstorm's little brother?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

RavenfeatherForever In reply to Treetail [2010-08-31 21:05:13 +0000 UTC]

golden and sand arent related o.o

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Treetail In reply to RavenfeatherForever [2010-08-31 21:24:35 +0000 UTC]

*is confused now*

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

RavenfeatherForever In reply to Treetail [2010-08-31 21:31:14 +0000 UTC]

sands mother was brindle and so was ash's

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Treetail In reply to RavenfeatherForever [2010-08-31 21:38:56 +0000 UTC]

so how wer bramble and squirrel related?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

RavenfeatherForever In reply to Treetail [2010-08-31 21:48:57 +0000 UTC]

redtail and leopardfoot were son and daughter of swiftbreeze. redtail is sands father, leopardfoot is tigerstars mother

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Treetail In reply to RavenfeatherForever [2010-08-31 22:05:05 +0000 UTC]

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! NOW I GOTS IT!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Its-A-CANDY In reply to ??? [2010-08-29 14:18:55 +0000 UTC]

This stuff made my life.

Especially the one with the stick.

JayxStick forever!

Also, I noticed the Gray Tabby thing. If Millie dies... poor Jayfeather.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

RavenfeatherForever In reply to Its-A-CANDY [2010-08-29 14:24:25 +0000 UTC]

poor jayfeather o.o ?

👍: 0 ⏩: 2

Its-A-CANDY In reply to RavenfeatherForever [2010-08-29 14:50:22 +0000 UTC]

LIGHT GRAY TABBIES

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

RavenfeatherForever In reply to Its-A-CANDY [2010-08-29 14:52:02 +0000 UTC]

yeah x3 i know lol

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Kestrill In reply to RavenfeatherForever [2010-08-29 14:38:02 +0000 UTC]

because graystripe hits on all gray tabbies and jayfetaher is a gray tabby xDDD

👍: 0 ⏩: 2

Its-A-CANDY In reply to Kestrill [2010-08-29 14:50:53 +0000 UTC]

Thank you.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

RavenfeatherForever In reply to Kestrill [2010-08-29 14:43:44 +0000 UTC]

x3

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Tapix-Jaywing In reply to ??? [2010-08-29 14:09:09 +0000 UTC]

LOL I love the Firestar is a joke one.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

RavenfeatherForever In reply to Tapix-Jaywing [2010-08-29 14:13:01 +0000 UTC]

x3 me too. my friend changed that joke cuz it was originally without the head tilt and all that

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Tapix-Jaywing In reply to RavenfeatherForever [2010-08-29 14:39:00 +0000 UTC]

LOLZ

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

OwlinAMinor In reply to ??? [2010-08-29 13:18:04 +0000 UTC]

Epic. I love the one where Jayfeather says Cinderheart can ride on his stick ...

Jayfeather: I AM NOT OBSESSED WITH MY STICK!
me: Yes. You are.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Kandivya In reply to ??? [2010-08-29 13:12:40 +0000 UTC]

Lol epic.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Jagwarrior In reply to ??? [2010-08-29 10:29:39 +0000 UTC]

I kind of don't understand the one where Jayfeather is telling a joke and says "...Firestar"

👍: 0 ⏩: 2

RavenfeatherForever In reply to Jagwarrior [2010-08-29 13:24:11 +0000 UTC]

xD because he is saying firestar is a joke x3

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Jagwarrior In reply to RavenfeatherForever [2010-08-29 20:26:21 +0000 UTC]

Ah, I understand now.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

whiteh-is-me In reply to Jagwarrior [2010-08-29 13:20:55 +0000 UTC]

Yeah, me too. But that was the one I laughed the hardet on. I laughed at all of the Jay and Cinder ones. xD

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

CookiehButt In reply to ??? [2010-08-29 07:52:20 +0000 UTC]

LOL! nicely written

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Krisadilli In reply to ??? [2010-08-29 05:29:59 +0000 UTC]

LMFAO I LOVE THIS!!! I really do hope you win XD

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

1-Lightningclaw In reply to ??? [2010-08-29 05:14:21 +0000 UTC]

LOL Nice. XD

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Steps-Of-Silence In reply to ??? [2010-08-29 05:06:48 +0000 UTC]

I love this! I hope you win! Poor Jayfeather... Your a JayXCinder fan huh? I was LMAO the whole time

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

KinaHayden In reply to ??? [2010-08-29 04:57:16 +0000 UTC]

I didn't get the insest thing...

👍: 0 ⏩: 2

RavenfeatherForever In reply to KinaHayden [2010-08-29 13:24:31 +0000 UTC]

do you know what incest means?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

KinaHayden In reply to RavenfeatherForever [2010-08-29 14:11:31 +0000 UTC]

Yes, I do.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

RavenfeatherForever In reply to KinaHayden [2010-08-29 14:12:26 +0000 UTC]

well bramble and squirrel are 2nd cousins and ashfur is squirrels uncle

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Steps-Of-Silence In reply to KinaHayden [2010-08-29 05:02:27 +0000 UTC]

Brambleclaw is like Squirrel's cousin, Ashfur is her uncle I think... all I know is that their related. Dustpelt is also in love with his neice!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

KinaHayden In reply to Steps-Of-Silence [2010-08-29 05:10:26 +0000 UTC]

*thinking*...Bramble's distant though.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Steps-Of-Silence In reply to KinaHayden [2010-08-29 05:11:59 +0000 UTC]

Still related! But true... Thus, with Firestar bringing in random cats, their the purest!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

KinaHayden In reply to Steps-Of-Silence [2010-08-29 05:52:35 +0000 UTC]

Yea

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

leadmare56 In reply to ??? [2010-08-29 04:46:14 +0000 UTC]

ok, i dont get the third one...

👍: 0 ⏩: 2

RavenfeatherForever In reply to leadmare56 [2010-08-29 13:25:12 +0000 UTC]

firestar is a joke xD thats what it means

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Steps-Of-Silence In reply to leadmare56 [2010-08-29 05:03:08 +0000 UTC]

I think he means, 'Firestar' by when she was Cinderpelt, not sure...

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

leadmare56 In reply to Steps-Of-Silence [2010-08-29 05:23:42 +0000 UTC]

ohhhhh i get it =3 im such a dorkkk

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Steps-Of-Silence In reply to leadmare56 [2010-08-29 05:27:40 +0000 UTC]

No your not, it took a second for it to register in my mind, which is strange since i usually get the most complicated ones.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

leadmare56 In reply to Steps-Of-Silence [2010-08-29 05:37:18 +0000 UTC]

lol. do u have a fav cat u would like me to draw for a commission?? prices on maeh paeg. or i could do a request

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Steps-Of-Silence In reply to leadmare56 [2010-08-29 05:45:57 +0000 UTC]

I can't give points since I'm not a premium member I think. But if I could do a request then could you draw... hmmm... no... gah, not you... well that was random... aha! wait, no... i want a female... Tawnypelt! Yep, Tawnypelt! Jayfeather is my favorite, but I think Tawny needs more luvs, so can you do her?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

leadmare56 In reply to Steps-Of-Silence [2010-08-29 14:10:40 +0000 UTC]

lol absolutely. hell, i could evn do jayXtawny if you wanted =3`

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Steps-Of-Silence In reply to leadmare56 [2010-08-29 23:05:10 +0000 UTC]

Oh god no! THAT'S a crack pairing for you! XD Just Tawnypelt is good!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1


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