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salshep — Cthulhu Cthucks

Published: 2007-03-26 17:16:37 +0000 UTC; Views: 20397; Favourites: 531; Downloads: 3
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Description Gunshymartyr: Why do they speak Welsh now?

Me: Well, it all started with that drunken birthday bash for Yog-Sothoth that Vertigo88 was talking about.

Anyways, it was a crazy party, and when they got tired of Shub Niggurath's gin-induced poledancing and Bugg-shash's eye-roll-inducing baby jokes ("Hey, how many human babies does it take to make an Old One explode?" " Are you STILL telling these things, Bugg-shash? *sigh* Alright, how many then..?" "NOMNOMNOM *burp* BANG!" ) they all shambled out of their various voids and palaces and dimensions and off they went to Las Vegas, where Tom Jones was playing that casino that looks like the Sphinx.

There they all were, soused as a pickled shoggoth and having a Great Old time, and Hastur starts throwing underpants at the stage. Now, the underpants of an Old One (even Hastur's cthexy cthong) aren't small, so Tom Jones disappears in this welter of ominous darkness and black lace. What they DIDN'T know was that Jones himself was an Old One, expunged from the Necronomicon by the Welsh government in an attempt to fool the world into believing Wales is full of normal, attractive people, before adopting him as a national icon (in place of wee fat ponies and beef-thieves named Taffy).

So, you can imagine their shock when, to the fading lyrics of "It's Not Unusual" they were abruptly sucked into a dimensional rift and wound up in Ystradgynlais. What transpired there, what horrors, we may never know.

But the upshot is, they all speak Welsh now.

Hastur has taken to wearing thick, elasticated girdle-waisted panties. In beige.

Bugg-shash was stitched back together and forced to wear The Great Seal of K'dath, which prevented him from going within 100 metres of maternity hospitals and telling appalling jokes at parties.

Tom Jones went on to revive his career by becoming a "retro" sensation. Shub-Niggurath slapped him with A Thousand Paternity Suits, and we're just waiting on the blood tests.


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Comments: 287

salshep In reply to ??? [2009-09-14 11:28:56 +0000 UTC]

LOL.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Egg-Zilla [2009-07-22 02:02:42 +0000 UTC]

I don't understand "Phn'guli mglw'nafh". The rest I kinda get.

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almcdermid In reply to ??? [2009-07-16 01:21:34 +0000 UTC]

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TazzyDee [2009-05-28 01:08:05 +0000 UTC]

xD This is so surreal. Ystradgynlais is half hour from me. (the closest mention to my location ive come across in the last 9 months of being here !)x

(i'm finally going through your gallery..and, how do i put this?.. Wow. You are such a writer.. x

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

salshep In reply to TazzyDee [2009-05-29 12:48:50 +0000 UTC]

LOL. I chose the most Welsh-sounding name I could find, pretty much at random.

And now I'm just blushing.

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TazzyDee In reply to salshep [2009-05-29 15:46:01 +0000 UTC]

how about ,..
Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychcwyryndrobelllantysiliogogogoch!

Work that one into a poem

chk sp! x

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salshep In reply to TazzyDee [2009-05-29 17:47:50 +0000 UTC]

Oh dear gods, no.

LOL.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Anonnyer [2009-05-24 23:09:39 +0000 UTC]

Hey There Cthulhu: [link]

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

vennecto [2009-04-14 16:51:43 +0000 UTC]

Cthulhu !! <3

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

salshep In reply to vennecto [2009-04-15 15:59:51 +0000 UTC]

F'taghn!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

vennecto In reply to salshep [2009-04-15 16:26:39 +0000 UTC]

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

salshep In reply to vennecto [2009-04-15 21:50:01 +0000 UTC]

...but only on Tuesdays.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

vennecto In reply to salshep [2009-04-16 16:08:30 +0000 UTC]

and when Scorpio lays on sun

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lotus213 [2009-04-13 17:05:53 +0000 UTC]

i about died laughing when i saw this. beautiful.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

salshep In reply to lotus213 [2009-04-13 22:14:50 +0000 UTC]

Haha, thanks very much!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Cynothoglys In reply to ??? [2009-03-20 03:52:06 +0000 UTC]

The story in itself is awesome! and I understand the deviation completely

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

clockworkmukie [2009-02-05 00:12:25 +0000 UTC]

O mon dieu. This has to be the funniest thing! I love it.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Kieranfoy [2009-02-01 02:09:30 +0000 UTC]

I can understand it, AND pronounce it. Watch: phngluuggi Catotooollooooo wgnagel ftagen.

Er, right.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

salshep In reply to Kieranfoy [2009-02-03 12:10:48 +0000 UTC]

Obviously, you're Welsh.

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Nemesis12 [2009-01-31 07:27:42 +0000 UTC]

Good one. I'd have to say that what I don't understand is all of it, besides Cthulhu and R'lyeh.

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salshep In reply to Nemesis12 [2009-02-03 12:12:41 +0000 UTC]

Obviously, you're not Welsh.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Nemesis12 In reply to salshep [2009-02-03 18:01:09 +0000 UTC]

Now I have a very valid reason to learn Welsh.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Karn-sama [2008-12-31 22:35:37 +0000 UTC]

how do you pronounce that anyway?

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Egg-Zilla [2008-12-31 07:24:34 +0000 UTC]

Everthing but the middle part!
Hmm, so that explains it! No wonder Lady Zorbelle was so esaily sooned by Duck Dodgers when he stole Tom Jones' voice! Everything is clear now!

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DreamTheorem In reply to ??? [2008-12-29 01:27:07 +0000 UTC]

Hahaha. Great work.

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Hierognosis [2008-12-11 21:10:15 +0000 UTC]

Hahhaaha! <3

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

X-emo-sexual-X In reply to ??? [2008-12-05 06:01:22 +0000 UTC]



O R'lyeh?

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salshep In reply to X-emo-sexual-X [2008-12-08 02:04:25 +0000 UTC]

*chortle*

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ibleedyourlove [2008-11-29 02:33:55 +0000 UTC]

Your picture isn't my favorite, however you are officially my favorite person!

I loves your personality ^.^

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

salshep In reply to ibleedyourlove [2008-11-29 03:10:15 +0000 UTC]

Well. I am adorable.

Thanks for the fave, hun. : )

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DrowningByWords [2008-11-17 16:14:23 +0000 UTC]

LOL you speak better Welsh than me

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

salshep In reply to DrowningByWords [2008-11-18 01:27:24 +0000 UTC]

LOL!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

CityWolves [2008-11-11 04:25:25 +0000 UTC]

Dear. God. Beautiful. I love it. Wonderful. Thank you for a brighter day.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

salshep In reply to CityWolves [2008-11-11 05:11:30 +0000 UTC]

: ) Haha, welcomes.

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CityWolves In reply to salshep [2008-11-12 02:05:39 +0000 UTC]

Seriously, most excellent. The artist's commentary is great, but just the picture alone is AWESOME!

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salshep In reply to CityWolves [2008-11-12 15:29:17 +0000 UTC]

: D Thankyou!!!!

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giffordm [2008-11-11 04:19:38 +0000 UTC]

-laughs- i have no idea whats going on but that was HIGHLY entertaining. i think i'm gonna have to go thru your works sometime when there aren't sixty bajillion and five different things that i should be doing.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

salshep In reply to giffordm [2008-11-11 05:14:05 +0000 UTC]

: ) Glad you liked it, and isn't it a bother, how life gets in the way of reading sometimes? XD

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giffordm In reply to salshep [2008-11-14 05:12:44 +0000 UTC]

too true lol

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andiegenovese In reply to ??? [2008-10-13 15:34:19 +0000 UTC]

Hahahah! I love it!

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salshep In reply to andiegenovese [2008-10-29 04:07:59 +0000 UTC]

: ) Thanks!

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Swigen [2008-09-23 03:49:47 +0000 UTC]

hahahahahaah
Great

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salshep In reply to Swigen [2008-10-09 12:27:38 +0000 UTC]

: ) Glad you liked it.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Centauran In reply to ??? [2008-09-22 02:48:30 +0000 UTC]

Love it! What a giggle!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

salshep In reply to Centauran [2008-10-09 12:28:37 +0000 UTC]

Hee, thankyou. Makes me laugh, too.

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Hayw1re In reply to ??? [2008-09-14 10:50:56 +0000 UTC]

lol.
nice one, still laughing.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

salshep In reply to Hayw1re [2008-10-09 12:30:30 +0000 UTC]

Haha, I'm pleased you liked it.

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Wayfairingman [2008-07-20 20:55:38 +0000 UTC]

MUST MAKE THIS INTO TATTOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And a shirt and a tie and a pair of socks, and pants and ooo a hat and a mug and a cape and a baloon and um a float for thanksgiving. Did I miss anything? Oh yes a bilboard and a um. Any way I like it.

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salshep In reply to Wayfairingman [2008-07-23 07:02:27 +0000 UTC]

Lol. Glad you like it. (it is a mug, btw. and a print)

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Wayfairingman In reply to salshep [2008-07-23 18:11:54 +0000 UTC]

SWEET! yea I will have to order both when I get the cash. I have to get one for me and one for a friend. By the way would you mind if I added you to my friends list?

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