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SheltieWolf — Page22 rough sketch

Published: 2008-08-03 22:22:22 +0000 UTC; Views: 1205; Favourites: 30; Downloads: 16
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Description I'm drawing Page22 now.
If there is something of wrong in characters' lines. Please teach me right English.
Thank you!
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Comments: 74

BlueEyesKitten In reply to ??? [2008-08-03 23:57:02 +0000 UTC]

No I believe the first panel is correct when it was 'I've always wanted to regard you as my sister'
Because 'I have' makes enough sense?

Just my opinion

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SheltieWolf In reply to BlueEyesKitten [2008-08-04 14:21:30 +0000 UTC]

Thank you very much.
I see. Surely "always" is necessary for his word.

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codewolf In reply to BlueEyesKitten [2008-08-04 00:19:59 +0000 UTC]

well English is a second language to me so maybe im wrong but i think adding a " 've " there sounds weird.

Just my opinion

anway the "always" is needed no matter what otherwise it sounds like you wanted to call her a sister but changed your mind.

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codewolf In reply to ??? [2008-08-03 22:52:59 +0000 UTC]

woops a little quick chat language skipped the spell check.

"allot" needs to be "a lot"

sorry about that

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codewolf In reply to codewolf [2008-08-03 23:11:32 +0000 UTC]

woops another one:
mu = my. (in my panel 2 dialog)

*i would love to see a EDIT button on comments *

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SheltieWolf In reply to codewolf [2008-08-04 14:13:41 +0000 UTC]

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ShadowCatsKey In reply to ??? [2008-08-03 22:43:34 +0000 UTC]

nearly 100% perfect this time, sheltie!

"i will stand up for you, with Takeru, after this"

and " i have good news" should be used, as Jordanpopz suggested

and, "Why did you wanna speak to me?" is perfectly legal, just use "why" instead of "what"

...And, I don't quite understand what Oto is saying... I mean, I get it, but... Does she mean "Inyanori, the very thought makes me happy"? That might be better to use ^^

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SheltieWolf In reply to ShadowCatsKey [2008-08-04 16:06:29 +0000 UTC]

Thank you again! I looked up meaning of "very". "The very thought makes me happy" is the best expression in this case. ^_^

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ShadowCatsKey In reply to SheltieWolf [2008-08-04 17:20:32 +0000 UTC]

Yes, that sentence would be... very good to use XD

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SheltieWolf In reply to ShadowCatsKey [2008-08-04 14:08:28 +0000 UTC]

Thank you very much!
I will correct them.

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lyingfawn [2008-08-03 22:28:54 +0000 UTC]

I'd have helped, but both things I see wrong have already been said XD

But uh... its a little confusing where Oto says "I'm happy as I thought..." 0.o it doesn't really make much sense... If it means that she's happy about it, maybe it could be "I'm really happy about it" or something 0.o

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SheltieWolf In reply to lyingfawn [2008-08-03 22:52:29 +0000 UTC]

Thank you!
I will think about it. ^_^

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ToshirotheKnightWolf In reply to ??? [2008-08-03 22:26:52 +0000 UTC]

good.

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SheltieWolf In reply to ToshirotheKnightWolf [2008-08-03 22:54:07 +0000 UTC]

Thanks!

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ToshirotheKnightWolf In reply to SheltieWolf [2008-08-04 00:13:30 +0000 UTC]

yousa welcome

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JEAikman [2008-08-03 22:24:53 +0000 UTC]

instead of "i will stand up you with takeru after this"
say "i will stand up for you with Takeru after this"

and instead of " I have a good news"
say " i have good news"

hope that helps ^^

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SheltieWolf In reply to JEAikman [2008-08-03 22:51:17 +0000 UTC]

Thank you!
I will correct them.
Your advice helped me. ^_^

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JEAikman In reply to SheltieWolf [2008-08-04 07:55:21 +0000 UTC]

very welcome ^^
glad i could help

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NstealthL In reply to ??? [2008-08-03 22:24:39 +0000 UTC]

I could help with some mistakes? Last panel for instance: "I Have Good news"

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SheltieWolf In reply to NstealthL [2008-08-03 22:50:16 +0000 UTC]

Thank you! I will correct it.

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NstealthL In reply to SheltieWolf [2008-08-03 22:54:59 +0000 UTC]

no problem ^^

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NstealthL In reply to NstealthL [2008-08-03 22:26:20 +0000 UTC]

and "Inayori , by the way, what did you wanna tell me?" or you wanted to speak with me? Either works. 1st one is probably better.

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SheltieWolf In reply to NstealthL [2008-08-04 14:05:01 +0000 UTC]

"speak with me?"
Oh, I see. Thank you.

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NstealthL In reply to SheltieWolf [2008-08-04 14:58:01 +0000 UTC]

^^

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