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Description
MonkeyShits: Born and raised in space, MonkeyShits was a moderate success in an experiment to raise the intelligence of apes. However, his proportions swelled and altered much more freakishly. Wields rolled-up carpet and its built-up static electricity to lightly zap opponents, and can hide himself and teammates under it in order to pretend they're not there, in the hopes that they will not attack as a result. His ultimate, "Dicks out," is exactly what it sounds like: He unleashes his swollen, asymmetrical genitalia to beat opponents into submission in the face and chest.
Armzrya: Question one: Are you enemy? If yes, then will crush you with bare hands. If no, then question two: Are you teammate? If yes, will protect you like own child. If not teammate or enemy, then you are in wrong place, please leave. Armzrya use large, boring gun to shoot people and can make barrier to absorb enemy fire to use with boring gun. Would really like not to have to use boring gun, but director said to use, and he pay, so will use boring gun. Can also project barriers around teammates because they are fragile. Ultimate attack uses gravity bomb to draw opponents into one place but not deal damage so that Armzrya may crush all with bare hands.
Reinhardthomas the Tank Engine "What a fine day to go into battle!" said Thomas. "Bother that," interjected Gordon. "You're just going to charge into a wall and swing at nothing, like you always do." "I never swing at nothing," retorted Thomas. "I hope the enemy reams me in the face," whispered Percy. Thomas' special involves swinging Gordon into the ground, tripping up the enemy for a second or two. Thomas thinks it to be a really useful ultimate attack.
Major League Gremlin: When South Korea was invaded by the aliens from that Adam Sandler movie, their government turned to the country's subterranean gamer gremlin population. They asked their ruler for an army to defend their country and defeat the monster, but upon hearing this request, the ruler offered herself to fight. MLG.Va uses her armored toilet to fight, shooting BBs at opponents to cause mild pain and bleeding. Her ultimate attack involves calling the ancient gremlin chant (which only bears a passing resemblance to English) to overload the Mountain Dew tank and explode, nerfing her opponents through the nth dimension. Until she can summon it back from the dark afterlife, however, all she can do is waddle around and slash at the ankles of her opponents and get sunburn (Gremlins do not do well in direct sunlight).
Bacon Burger: Upon being replaced by robots in protest for an increase in minimum wage, John Bacon staged a non-violent protest in front of the Hungry Jack's where they had worked, causing Australia to explode. He survived along with a few other ex-employees and led an agenda of sort of hanging around, turning them into a fearsome group called the Jackers, until one day when another Jacker named Jimmy Jams (alias Junkfood) discovered the secret of hot grease and needed protection, so they just sort of left. His special, Combo Meal, involves stuffing food into his short order gun and shooting it at a high frequency in order to stuff opponents with cheap food.

Description
MonkeyShits: Born and raised in space, MonkeyShits was a moderate success in an experiment to raise the intelligence of apes. However, his proportions swelled and altered much more freakishly. Wields rolled-up carpet and its built-up static electricity to lightly zap opponents, and can hide himself and teammates under it in order to pretend they're not there, in the hopes that they will not attack as a result. His ultimate, "Dicks out," is exactly what it sounds like: He unleashes his swollen, asymmetrical genitalia to beat opponents into submission in the face and chest.
Armzrya: Question one: Are you enemy? If yes, then will crush you with bare hands. If no, then question two: Are you teammate? If yes, will protect you like own child. If not teammate or enemy, then you are in wrong place, please leave. Armzrya use large, boring gun to shoot people and can make barrier to absorb enemy fire to use with boring gun. Would really like not to have to use boring gun, but director said to use, and he pay, so will use boring gun. Can also project barriers around teammates because they are fragile. Ultimate attack uses gravity bomb to draw opponents into one place but not deal damage so that Armzrya may crush all with bare hands.
Reinhardthomas the Tank Engine "What a fine day to go into battle!" said Thomas. "Bother that," interjected Gordon. "You're just going to charge into a wall and swing at nothing, like you always do." "I never swing at nothing," retorted Thomas. "I hope the enemy reams me in the face," whispered Percy. Thomas' special involves swinging Gordon into the ground, tripping up the enemy for a second or two. Thomas thinks it to be a really useful ultimate attack.
Major League Gremlin: When South Korea was invaded by the aliens from that Adam Sandler movie, their government turned to the country's subterranean gamer gremlin population. They asked their ruler for an army to defend their country and defeat the monster, but upon hearing this request, the ruler offered herself to fight. MLG.Va uses her armored toilet to fight, shooting BBs at opponents to cause mild pain and bleeding. Her ultimate attack involves calling the ancient gremlin chant (which only bears a passing resemblance to English) to overload the Mountain Dew tank and explode, nerfing her opponents through the nth dimension. Until she can summon it back from the dark afterlife, however, all she can do is waddle around and slash at the ankles of her opponents and get sunburn (Gremlins do not do well in direct sunlight).
Bacon Burger: Upon being replaced by robots in protest for an increase in minimum wage, John Bacon staged a non-violent protest in front of the Hungry Jack's where they had worked, causing Australia to explode. He survived along with a few other ex-employees and led an agenda of sort of hanging around, turning them into a fearsome group called the Jackers, until one day when another Jacker named Jimmy Jams (alias Junkfood) discovered the secret of hot grease and needed protection, so they just sort of left. His special, Combo Meal, involves stuffing food into his short order gun and shooting it at a high frequency in order to stuff opponents with cheap food.