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Sparklepixie — Enkeli
Published: 2004-02-02 12:25:31 +0000 UTC; Views: 291; Favourites: 2; Downloads: 36
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Description
A creature made of moonlight:Skin like talc, a face of alabaster,
Frozen silver eyes, perfect, pellucid
And faceted like diamonds.
I always feel her, the air
Sparkling, prickly.
She leans on my window, outside of time,
Always watching me, her gaze relentless
Icicles of light burning into me.
Pale shining wings glow softly behind her,
Unstirred by the wind, then,
As she drinks on my soul,
Slowly they come alive, they are breathing,
Whispering to me.
Cowering and caged,
I shiver at her deeply painful beauty
And yearn for wings.
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Comments: 52
Woh the picture fits perfectly, you could make this longer though. But you have this magical feel to it, thats what I like. Its beautiful and magical, a good mix. So you brought something out, its good work mate. Keep it up!
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What a lovely comment, thank you.. ! 
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i really like this poem, especially the imagery you create.
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It does lack alittle flow, but that's very understandable, conciderring you're own comment. Wonderful discription though. Very. ;D
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Thank you for your honesty and encouragement
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I agree with you on not spending the time attempting to make the piece "flow" better. I think that it would lose some of it's power if you did that. I love the way that it's written now. The lack of rhythm makes certain lines stand out quite a bit.
It's a very nice piece. 
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Thank you very much.. such a kind comment
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wow yeah great imagery. i get a really vivid picture in my head. With your choice of words, it seems like winter, almost. Great poem
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Thank you.. that's an interesting point, I'm flattered
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Oops, thank you! Curse my spelling 
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A creature made of moonlight:
Skin like talc; a face of alabaster;
i like those lines, but i think that the semi-colons would be better off replaced with commas. in my opinion, the line would flow better.
and... i don't think "pelucid" is a word. i'm not sure what you're going for there.
She leans on my window, outside of time,
absolutely fabulous line!
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Thank you very much for such detailed commentry!
Pellucid is a word I think I learnt from Christina Rosseti or John Keats.. maybe both, describing the translucent look to grapes in their cases. I just seemingly didn't learn the spelling 
Yeah.. maybe commas would be better.
Your comments are very much appreciated, thank you!
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Very, very nice piece. So much imagery and emotion, the words flow beautifully from one image to the next. Others have mentioned that the piece is too wordy, however I believe you need to understand the meaning of the words to appreciate the depth of the piece. Great job... think it's time for another
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Thank you.. after reading your work I added you to my watch list.. I really enjoyed your writings and will definitely read more
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the poem started off as, what i thought, would be cheezy and overused... HOWEVER, the last 3 stanzas save it, and it seems that you actually put some thought into it. i like it
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Sorry if it starts cheesy
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Wow. I don't think I've ever been closer to crying while reading poetry before in my life. This envokes so much emotion - unfortunately, it's all too familiar. Excellent work. Simply an honour to read.
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That's such an amazing complement.. thank you very much.
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The words don't flow, its one thing to have a good vocabulary, but it is another to have good diction. Your word choice effects everything, the certain words you use can mean everything. And after the first stanza, I am sorry to say, you lost my attention with wordiness. I do like what imagery you have and well I guess it should be focused better, instead of just one area. I like the idea though, very nice.
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I didn't really want a "flow" to this piece, I wanted something spontaneous but very still and kind of unusual.. almost frightening if you understand. So I wanted to use more unusual words to bring out this kind of feeling. I'm sorry if it doesn't work or you don't like it. Focused but not in one area sounds like a bit of a paradox to me but I think I understand what you mean. Thank you very much for your opinion, and for taking the time out to read this.
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I see, well to me a reader, it comes off wordy and unatural. Thats about it... I do see the frightening though.
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The 2 am stuff is usually the best kind, and this piece holds up that theory. I love it, wonderful imagery, the kind of thing you know you'll wan tto read again.
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now i am hardly one to say cut back on the imagry, but it seems to me that you get lost in the vocabulary, which is a good thing to have mind you..but the thing seems to me like it stumbles over itself trying to use the words...it's just all images..strung together in a seemingly similar setting but i think they clash...maybe try cutting back and rephrasing, give aliitle depth to it...uh yea thats it...hope it helped..
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Thank you for the advice
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Wow, I've viewed this deviation before. It's a small world, huh
Really elegant writing. I love the line She leans on my window, outside of time ..I'm not sure, there's just something so endearing about it. I really love the title too, though I'm not sure what it means, hehe. Good stuff
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Enekli is the Finnish for angel, my boyfriend's from Finland and well.. meh he calls me it sometime.
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holy cow, that's a lot of imagery. very vivid. good work.
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I hate poems like this personally, all descriptive dramatic words but no real story. Not my style.
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Hehe er.. interesting comment! To each their own I guess.
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lovely choice of words to describe. very wide vocab used, brilliant work
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Very nice poem. It gives you a visual image of that one instance. Veryyy well written
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That's encouraging, and kind of you. Thank you.
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wow really like the poem and the imagery that was created - it really has a dark theme , i really love how u appeal to all the senses it really seems to place you in the scene and encaptulate u in i guess the essence of the woman... nice work
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Thank you.. that's a very kind comment..
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Great poem - the imagery is amazing! I haven't written in awhile and a piece like this makes me miss it. Thank you
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That's very kind of you.. thank you
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what's with the finnish? ^^ I don't know if you originally come from finland, or if you've just picked up some words, or what, so I won't start writing it in case you don't understand it. But, to let you know, I'm from finland, and the name of your art catched my eyes, so I had to check it out! It's very cute picture.
Kiitos. By the way, I named my art 'kojootti ulvoo kaukaisuudessa'... I dunno if you catch the meaning, but I hope you do, since you're the first one I've found who speaks finnish.
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My boyfriend is half Finnish, his page is here [link] . I called it enkeli to get his attention so he'd read the poem because he was why I wrote it. I've just picked up a few really useless words, although I'm pleased that I can tell all his Finnish friends "olet komposti" or "olet likainenpossu" hehe 
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hehe... Finnish is useful when 'insulting' english folk too... 'cause they've got no idea what you're talking about, so you're not to blame!
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Thanks, that's really kind of you!
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She leans on my window, outside of time,
Thats poetry
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