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Description

Watching a bunch of positive asexual media has given me a surge of pride not only in myself, but with my asexual characters. If only it was Asexual Awareness week (which falls on October 22-28 this year).

A while back, I started listening to a gay band called Pansy Division. Hoo-boy can their songs get sexual!! Too sexual for my liking (especially in their earlier work), but goddamn I adore their more introspective and less-sexual songs (I highly recommend their Absurd Pop Song Romance album 10/10). I digress, listening to their earlier albums made me realize how far I tend to stray away from the hook-up culture and hypersexuality often associated with gay men and their community. It made me feel insecure about my own gay couples and how I tend to lean towards the “take it slow” trope for my favorite OC couples (namely for Ben x Todd and Sam x Aaron). It made me worried that I’d get flack for how I portray my gay relationships, especially Keenan x Evan who don’t have sex at all. Though a gay friend of mine did reassure me that what I’m doing is fine and that my characters are grounded and realistic as people.

As a sex-repulsed individual, I tend not to put much thought into my characters’ sex lives. Instead, I prefer to focus on the chemistry between the characters, and the more cuddly wholesome couple stuff. When I made Keenan and Evan (back in 2012), I decided that they’d be a gay couple that didn’t have a sexual relationship due to Evan being scared of it and grossed out by it. Because I wanted to stray away from the stereotype that gay men wanted sex all the time. And I’m all about breaking stereotypes. This was months before I learned more about asexuality and started identifying as it myself.

I thought of myself as straight for the longest time as a teenager; despite not having any romantic interests. I had more of an interest in writing boy characters and I leaned toward the aesthetics of male musicians, so just assumed I was straight. But I was never aroused by anyone’s appearance. I used to think that asexuality meant you couldn’t fall in love. So when I read an article on asexuality and about the difference between romantic and sexual attraction, something clicked in my head. I have never been interested in sex, in fact I was repulsed by it, so it was eye-opening for me. I questioned my romantic identity for a few years until I realized I’m aromantic in addition to asexual.

After a recent google search on homoromantic asexual, I found this article on a gay ace couple. It gave me reassurance that there ARE in fact gay couples out there that have a completely non-sexual relationship. That made me feel a lot better about my own work, especially Keenan x Evan who are canonically homoromantic asexual (though they have yet to realize their asexuality in the comic). I also learned that the couple in the article were in a podcast called Pieces of Ace (which sadly wrapped up in 2017). So I started to watch that and really enjoyed it. Around this time, I also found a channel called Slice of Ace, coincidentally run by a homoromantic asexual. Another coincidence is that both channels are run by British asexuals, cool, right?

Watching those channels made me feel validated and gave me more perspective on what other aces go through. I always assert that people come in variety, and they helped solidify that. Not everyone wants or needs sex, and that includes homoromantics. It was also thanks to these channels, I embraced the cake-loving side of ace culture. I already love cake and sweets in general, but watching the cake-eating sessions on Pieces of Ace made me crave it.

So if you’re asexual yourself, or want to learn more about asexuality, I recommend both the channels I mentioned. I also recommend SallyVinter ‘s comic Aces Wild. I also recommend watching Bojack Horseman because Todd Chavez (aka best boy) is fantastic asexual representation. They don’t really explore his sexuality until seasons 3 and 4 though. I think they handled him great.

And for the record, the A in LGBTQIA should stand for asexual and aromantic, and we should be welcomed in queer spaces, as a minority sexuality. We need acceptance, understanding, and solidarity.
Take it away, Daniel!!

Description

Watching a bunch of positive asexual media has given me a surge of pride not only in myself, but with my asexual characters. If only it was Asexual Awareness week (which falls on October 22-28 this year).

A while back, I started listening to a gay band called Pansy Division. Hoo-boy can their songs get sexual!! Too sexual for my liking (especially in their earlier work), but goddamn I adore their more introspective and less-sexual songs (I highly recommend their Absurd Pop Song Romance album 10/10). I digress, listening to their earlier albums made me realize how far I tend to stray away from the hook-up culture and hypersexuality often associated with gay men and their community. It made me feel insecure about my own gay couples and how I tend to lean towards the “take it slow” trope for my favorite OC couples (namely for Ben x Todd and Sam x Aaron). It made me worried that I’d get flack for how I portray my gay relationships, especially Keenan x Evan who don’t have sex at all. Though a gay friend of mine did reassure me that what I’m doing is fine and that my characters are grounded and realistic as people.

As a sex-repulsed individual, I tend not to put much thought into my characters’ sex lives. Instead, I prefer to focus on the chemistry between the characters, and the more cuddly wholesome couple stuff. When I made Keenan and Evan (back in 2012), I decided that they’d be a gay couple that didn’t have a sexual relationship due to Evan being scared of it and grossed out by it. Because I wanted to stray away from the stereotype that gay men wanted sex all the time. And I’m all about breaking stereotypes. This was months before I learned more about asexuality and started identifying as it myself.

I thought of myself as straight for the longest time as a teenager; despite not having any romantic interests. I had more of an interest in writing boy characters and I leaned toward the aesthetics of male musicians, so just assumed I was straight. But I was never aroused by anyone’s appearance. I used to think that asexuality meant you couldn’t fall in love. So when I read an article on asexuality and about the difference between romantic and sexual attraction, something clicked in my head. I have never been interested in sex, in fact I was repulsed by it, so it was eye-opening for me. I questioned my romantic identity for a few years until I realized I’m aromantic in addition to asexual.

After a recent google search on homoromantic asexual, I found this article on a gay ace couple. It gave me reassurance that there ARE in fact gay couples out there that have a completely non-sexual relationship. That made me feel a lot better about my own work, especially Keenan x Evan who are canonically homoromantic asexual (though they have yet to realize their asexuality in the comic). I also learned that the couple in the article were in a podcast called Pieces of Ace (which sadly wrapped up in 2017). So I started to watch that and really enjoyed it. Around this time, I also found a channel called Slice of Ace, coincidentally run by a homoromantic asexual. Another coincidence is that both channels are run by British asexuals, cool, right?

Watching those channels made me feel validated and gave me more perspective on what other aces go through. I always assert that people come in variety, and they helped solidify that. Not everyone wants or needs sex, and that includes homoromantics. It was also thanks to these channels, I embraced the cake-loving side of ace culture. I already love cake and sweets in general, but watching the cake-eating sessions on Pieces of Ace made me crave it.

So if you’re asexual yourself, or want to learn more about asexuality, I recommend both the channels I mentioned. I also recommend SallyVinter ‘s comic Aces Wild. I also recommend watching Bojack Horseman because Todd Chavez (aka best boy) is fantastic asexual representation. They don’t really explore his sexuality until seasons 3 and 4 though. I think they handled him great.

And for the record, the A in LGBTQIA should stand for asexual and aromantic, and we should be welcomed in queer spaces, as a minority sexuality. We need acceptance, understanding, and solidarity.
Take it away, Daniel!!