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Description
Hi microscopic fans! I'm as big as France now. All thanks to you! And French people are amazing, they really don't mind that I destroy their country, they just love that I visited them!

I have a thing to confess... I'm glad that I didn't squish my boyfriend over that password situation. Turns out it wasn't entirely his fault. Those nanomachines that grow me are kind of... smart. He explained that they have to be smart to make changes to my body as I grow, like making my bones and muscles stronger, so I don't collapse under my own weight. I nearly squished him for calling me fat, but he said it's not fat, but physics. Anyway, they are so smart that they have even changed my metabolism to sustain my giant body. For example, I no longer have to eat. I noticed a long time ago that I'm not as hungry as I used to be, but I didn't know why. Turns out my cells now run on nuclear fusion! I'm like a star! Lucky for you, because soon I would have to eat entire nation every single day. And as I don't have to eat, I also don't have to... you know! And it's even better for you! As I enjoy doing all those experiments on you for my tutorial, I don't think you'd like all those towns and villages drowned in the 2021 Urine Flood. And before any of you suggest just doing it in the ocean... do you want yellow tsunami? Really?

And to make all those changes those machines had to change themselves to be able to do it and that apparently changed the password. On the bright side, my boyfriend says that I'm now effectively immortal and I will forever be young and beautiful! So how can I stay mad at him?

I really miss eating you guys. I ate a city today. Just licked it off the earth. Protip: don't do it, girls. I must have eated at least a million people at once, but it still tasted like dirt.

One of the most common subject in the comments these days is that the Earth is a bad place to live and you are asking permission to migrate to my body instead. I mean, I would gladly let you migrate to my tongue. But people living on my body? I don't know... I must think about it. Sure, it's an interesting topic for a tutorial, but I always thought it would be the other way around - how to get rid of humans living on your body. Like that time I had those football fans in my hair. Ugh. On the other hand you are so small... like bacteria to me. Maybe you won't bother me. I'll think about it and let you know.

Description
Hi microscopic fans! I'm as big as France now. All thanks to you! And French people are amazing, they really don't mind that I destroy their country, they just love that I visited them!

I have a thing to confess... I'm glad that I didn't squish my boyfriend over that password situation. Turns out it wasn't entirely his fault. Those nanomachines that grow me are kind of... smart. He explained that they have to be smart to make changes to my body as I grow, like making my bones and muscles stronger, so I don't collapse under my own weight. I nearly squished him for calling me fat, but he said it's not fat, but physics. Anyway, they are so smart that they have even changed my metabolism to sustain my giant body. For example, I no longer have to eat. I noticed a long time ago that I'm not as hungry as I used to be, but I didn't know why. Turns out my cells now run on nuclear fusion! I'm like a star! Lucky for you, because soon I would have to eat entire nation every single day. And as I don't have to eat, I also don't have to... you know! And it's even better for you! As I enjoy doing all those experiments on you for my tutorial, I don't think you'd like all those towns and villages drowned in the 2021 Urine Flood. And before any of you suggest just doing it in the ocean... do you want yellow tsunami? Really?

And to make all those changes those machines had to change themselves to be able to do it and that apparently changed the password. On the bright side, my boyfriend says that I'm now effectively immortal and I will forever be young and beautiful! So how can I stay mad at him?

I really miss eating you guys. I ate a city today. Just licked it off the earth. Protip: don't do it, girls. I must have eated at least a million people at once, but it still tasted like dirt.

One of the most common subject in the comments these days is that the Earth is a bad place to live and you are asking permission to migrate to my body instead. I mean, I would gladly let you migrate to my tongue. But people living on my body? I don't know... I must think about it. Sure, it's an interesting topic for a tutorial, but I always thought it would be the other way around - how to get rid of humans living on your body. Like that time I had those football fans in my hair. Ugh. On the other hand you are so small... like bacteria to me. Maybe you won't bother me. I'll think about it and let you know.