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Hello my loyal fans! Remember when I told you that I was afraid that I may grow too big? I was so wrong! As you can see, I've basically outgrown the Earth, and it's still so much fun! I heard that most of you have safely migrated to my body. People that are left on Earth are only my haters (who are not allowed on my body, thank you for taking care of that!) and people who prefer to be stepped on by me. So, I basically saved humanity! Sure, I've seen those posts, where my haters say that humanity didn't have to be saved if I didn't crush whole countries under my boots. Well, excuse me, but I told you already, it's not my fault! You are the ones making me bigger. If my fans wants me the size of a planet, then I'll be the size of a planet.
Oh, and thank you for that snack! In case you don't know, humanity was so grateful to me that I've saved it that one billion people volunteered to be my snack! They all gathered on my lip and I just licked them off! A billion people is probably a lot for you, but for me it was a microscopic snack, I barely got the taste, but it's the thought that counts! I love you guys!
And once again, I'm really, really sorry about the New New York. When I noticed that tiny gray dot on my leg I didn't think it was a city of ten million people! Well, survivors can live under my fingernail now.

Girls, if you want to grow this big, it's kind of hard to balance on this small ball you call a planet. And don't even try avoiding stepping on anything. I'm just crushing whole Europe under my boot.

Description
Hello my loyal fans! Remember when I told you that I was afraid that I may grow too big? I was so wrong! As you can see, I've basically outgrown the Earth, and it's still so much fun! I heard that most of you have safely migrated to my body. People that are left on Earth are only my haters (who are not allowed on my body, thank you for taking care of that!) and people who prefer to be stepped on by me. So, I basically saved humanity! Sure, I've seen those posts, where my haters say that humanity didn't have to be saved if I didn't crush whole countries under my boots. Well, excuse me, but I told you already, it's not my fault! You are the ones making me bigger. If my fans wants me the size of a planet, then I'll be the size of a planet.
Oh, and thank you for that snack! In case you don't know, humanity was so grateful to me that I've saved it that one billion people volunteered to be my snack! They all gathered on my lip and I just licked them off! A billion people is probably a lot for you, but for me it was a microscopic snack, I barely got the taste, but it's the thought that counts! I love you guys!
And once again, I'm really, really sorry about the New New York. When I noticed that tiny gray dot on my leg I didn't think it was a city of ten million people! Well, survivors can live under my fingernail now.

Girls, if you want to grow this big, it's kind of hard to balance on this small ball you call a planet. And don't even try avoiding stepping on anything. I'm just crushing whole Europe under my boot.