tigerpixie16 In reply to MensjeDeZeemeermin [2011-09-24 21:46:22 +0000 UTC]

Thanks. Although the busy thing is more toward the fact that I was attacked by a guy I was dating last year this weekend and in response, most of the people I knew just abandoned me. Which I understood but didnt at the same time. A blessed few stuck to me though.
That's all that was...

Thank you for your kind wisdom. A couple friends have gotten in touch with me since I posted this, so I'm feeling a lot better. :3

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

MensjeDeZeemeermin In reply to tigerpixie16 [2011-09-24 22:18:03 +0000 UTC]

One additional bit of wisdom that comes with age is the loss of a need to convince others when you know you were right. You can only control your own actions. You can't stop others from doing what they are going to do, and if someone turns on you for a bad reason--you are well rid of them and it is their loss. You have survived, you have learned--now move on, the wiser.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

tigerpixie16 In reply to MensjeDeZeemeermin [2011-09-24 22:32:14 +0000 UTC]

I've learned that the hard way... Still don't want to believe in it... But oh well... Life doe that....

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

MensjeDeZeemeermin In reply to tigerpixie16 [2011-09-25 02:57:09 +0000 UTC]

Just never fool yourself into thinking that no one understands or cares. We understand and care as much as we can...

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

tigerpixie16 In reply to MensjeDeZeemeermin [2011-09-25 05:55:01 +0000 UTC]

Thanks. That's the sad side of a battle I'd been struggling with... I know people care. My family and loved ones are pretty much the proverbial chain that keeps me from giving up on this world. Cause no matter what, I can't hurt them like that. I wonder when I'll get back to a place where I'll stay for myself again. Because I want to enjoy life again. Oh well.

Keep moving forward, and be smart. And heed the advice of those who are being helpful (rather than ones who sought to ruin me further.)

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

tigerpixie16 In reply to MelaKenzu [2011-09-24 20:40:14 +0000 UTC]

Well I can't help but feel alone with everyone is busy working and going to school and stuff and the one person who is actually at the same college with me I only saw once for a month and then a couple times when she needed something. And then you explained that you had a "screw people" time which is perfectly fine but it still leaves your friends feeling like shit like no one can stand to be around me. And yeah, it's really super petty to feel this way, thinking having a friend nearby always means that I'd see them often and not feel awkward in an environment that is totally different. So I'd been feeling pissed at you, not liking that I was and feeling stupid for feeling that way even though I had entitlement to my own feelings it doesn't mean I can just drag you everywhere with me or anyone else for that matter so I've just felt like a shitty human being for a while... And with the anniversary coming up i keep remembering stuff I really don't want to remember about him and about the way a lot of people treated me there afterward. I just.... feel really alone and shitty and worthless and I can't get my homework done or I just don't do it cause I'm tired and depressed or thinking I'm depressed and wondering where I should find help but I don't know and it's not like it'll be free cause of our stupid insurance company and just... Somehow I ended up almost in a corner again...

And just so you know, when you don't comment, it's whatever. I'm not a big commenter myself. But it does help to at least reply "ok" if you get a text message so I don't feel like I'm getting the big middle finger to piss off. :/

But you can just ignore all this cause I'm just a big pitiful ball of whine right now...

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

MelaKenzu In reply to tigerpixie16 [2011-09-24 21:27:19 +0000 UTC]

The magic power of a phone call~ *currently chatting with you*

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

tigerpixie16 In reply to MelaKenzu [2011-09-24 21:49:43 +0000 UTC]

:3

👍: 0 ⏩: 0