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tlwelker — heartcore:. chp 02 page 39
#ame #anime #comic #demon #demoness #demons #heartcore #manga #succubi #succubus #webcomic #tlwelker
Published: 2014-11-07 05:30:43 +0000 UTC; Views: 1903; Favourites: 58; Downloads: 0
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Description
THAT'S IT, COMIC'S OVER. SLADE WON.Except not really, gotta get Ame roughed up for the next part~! Slade is clearly taunting someone, so we'll see a bit of the overfiends before the real fun begins!
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Comments: 94
Well that didn't last long.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I really don't want to be of any offense, but this page just feels off for me.
When did Ame's leggings get torn? They were completley fine the last time we saw them. I guess you could argue that the electricity did it, but why would the rest of her clothes be unharmed then? I know leggings are rather fragile and sensitive, but there doesn't seem to be the slightest scratch on the rest of her clothing consdering what a massive eletrocution she recived.
Suko also doesn't seem to notice anything in the first panel, wich is kinda odd.
I also kinda feel that the way the sisters are falling down the pit just feels rather narmy and hillarious if you know what I mean. Almost as if they had simply been cut-and-pasted into the hole wile they were doing a compeltley unrelated pose from another picture. I kinda imagine the pose Ame's making to be from some scenario where Rip and Tear are pranking her, with her having just stepped on a wet bar of soap wile Suko's pose kinda looks like she had just discovered that a young fanboy is brushing up against her leg. Maybe it's just me.
In the third panel, I know he's supposed to be delivering a mighty, bone-shattering blow to her spine, but it looks kinda weak both due to Ame's stiff pose and they strange way Slade punches her. I can't quite determine if he's using his knuckles or his phalangs like a gorilla.
In the second panel, Suko is just gone. I obviously know that Ame must have dropped her into the pit, but there doesn't seem to be any indication of that in the panel. Just that she's completley missing from it. I'm not sure how that issue can be fixed without completley redrawing the panel all together for a slightly more overhead view.
The only panel I don't have any major complaint about would be the last one.
I can't say I like this page very much, but hey, everybody has a bad day sometime. I know that all too well from personall experience (seriously, what the fuck was I thinking when I wrote Cheesecake Masacre and the first rendition of Axe To The Face on TvTropes...).
Either way, I'm still looking forward for what is about to come next. Sorry if I came off as to harsh here, but I really felt it needed to be said.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I got the leggings-electrocution bit from MGS3. Likely not the most reliable of references, but eh! I adore the game.
I do definitely agree that Suko's inclusion is a major weak point on this page. The original layout had her fall as a separate instance for panel 3 but I really couldn't figure out how to make it work with the rest of the piece. As for the hilarity aspect - well I'm not trying to make it TOO dire! Slade's part isn't over - he intends to finish the job and is toying with his food, so to speak. His line is largely to taunt a long-time enemy (who will appear next page.)
Thanks for the feedback, dude! I appreciate your honesty.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
She'll get some help at some point, I imagine!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Well, you're the creator. I trust you. X3
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Ame kinda looks like she was aroused by the shock therapy in the second panel.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
MAYHAPS, then again a lot of sex faces are close to pain faces ahahah.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Love the blue face, great job!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
She can glide poorly at best, ahah ;;
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Ame better have a mind as fast as Slade is she's gonna get out of this....
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
That's more Asmodai's department, ahah ;;
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
"Well. Shit."
Such a casual speech for when you're about to be electrocuted then shoved down a pit.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Hahaha, Ame was never witty!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
HE BOOB ZAPPED HER!! That southern accent, electricity slinging Yellow Scarf wearing Ass-monkey! well atleast Ame and Suko can make their getaway, provided the fall doesn't impede them in anyway.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Scottish accent! But for all I know, that's southern for someone, ahah!
AND YEAH, at the very least it's gon' suck ;;
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
"Well, shit" is right Ame. WELCOME TO THE PAIN TRAIN. AGAIN.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
THIS TRAIN REALLY SUCKS.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Scottish written dialect, "right"!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
second to last panel is pure reactionface material
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