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Torqual3D — The Casket Caper - Part Ten
#detective #mystery #thriller #centralpark #centralparknewyork #newyork #shortstory
Published: 2015-07-31 04:35:43 +0000 UTC; Views: 13695; Favourites: 26; Downloads: 0
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Back safely at the Belleclaire Hotel, Lafarge ascended to the fourth floor by means of a tiny elevator. He stepped out, shuffled past a young couple with backpacks and admitted himself to room 412.

Inside, his case was already packed; he would be leaving the country in a matter of hours. He sat down on the edge of the bed and picked up the plastic handset of the hotel telephone.

“Reception?” he asked calmly, though he was far from calm, “I would like to place an international call.”

There was a pause. Lafarge pulled JB's crumpled letter from his pocket and unfolded it. A tinny voice in his ear gave him permission to proceed.

“Thank you,” he said, and dialled the number on the letterhead.

A few seconds passed, then he heard a faint, intermittent ring tone. The phone crackled. A distant voice responded:

“Bureau de Villard.” The voice seemed flat - perhaps because it was after 1am in France - but Lafarge was merely following instructions.

“C’est Gilot a l’appareil,” he replied. Then, in English, he added: "The item is now in my possession.”

“Please wait.” The responder’s tone was dispassionate. Then, after a few more seconds, he spoke again. “Please describe the item.”

“The item is a key - inscription, BCGE 331.”

“Please wait.”

Lafarge waited.

“Mr Gilot, the meeting point is Central Park. Please go to the Bethesda Fountain, then take the Bow Bridge north into The Rambles. Our contact will meet you there. His name is ‘Mister Banks’. Please be there in 20 minutes.”

“What?” Lafarge was not ready for this. “It’s late…. this park is not safe after dark… I don’t know these places you talk about! Perhaps somewhere else?”

“Obtain a map from your hotel reception,” came the clipped response. “Good evening.”

“Wait, wait!” stammered Lafarge. “My 50,000 Euros? This… Mr Banks will have the money?”

“He will have the money,” replied the deadpan voice then, somewhat more sternly, “Goodbye, Mr…. Gilot.”

The line went dead.

Twenty minutes gave Lafarge absolutely no time for thought. He paused briefly to retrieve a packet of Camels from his suitcase, then slipped out into the corridor and back to the coffin elevator. He took a map from the reception counter then emerged into the street, lighting up his cigarette while striding hurriedly in the direction of Strawberry Fields.

Everything about the phone call and the sudden meeting made him uneasy; but it seemed he was without other options. As he passed the Dakota building he stepped into the photo of a tourist, who wanted to record for posterity the place where John Lennon was shot. Lafarge cursed under his breath: so much for leaving no traces of his visit.

He stopped at a pedestrian crossing and watched the digits count down from ‘30’ as he waited. Yellow taxis sped past, taking theatregoers to Broadway. It was dusky and, across the road, Central Park was emptying out.

A sudden instinct made Lafarge glance over his shoulder – just in time to see a shadowy figure disappear hurriedly from view, some hundred metres behind. So - 'Mr Banks' was following him already! Lafarge considered doing his exchange right there, in the safer environment of the street, but then realised it was no place to display a large amount of cash. It would be better to follow instructions and persist with the charade.

Lafarge crossed and headed into the park. Walking briskly down Terrace Drive, he took a final puff on his cigarette and flicked the butt away. He looked down to his map, then surreptitiously checked over his shoulder: some distance behind, the black clad figure darted behind a tree. Lafarge continued, with a brief snort, turning left and stepping down onto the terrace. Buskers, students and New Age types climbed up past him as he descended the stairs.

Bethesda Terrace itself was almost deserted. Following the map and his instructions, Lafarge made for the lake, traced the shore and found the bridge.

The sun was setting, and street lamps were flickering into life. But as Lafarge crossed the bridge, the wooded area on the other side – The Rambles – looked dark and foreboding. There was no-one in sight. Lafarge pondered: how far in there was he expected to go?

He decided on a little trick. As he reached the other side, he scrambled up a bank and hid behind a tree, there looking down onto the bridge. Seconds later, as expected, his black-clad pursuer emerged onto it, his head covered by a hood which cast a dark shadow on his face. Lafarge watched from his hiding place as the man hurried across then passed him on the pathway below.

Good, he mused, it appeared that ‘Mr Banks’ was alone, and Lafarge now had the advantage. The dark figure disappeared off to his right, into the murk. Lafarge scrambled down the bank and back to the footpath. But just as he dusted himself off and turned to follow, a voice in his ear made him jump.

“Mr Gilot, what are you doing in the bush?” the voice was low, its tone quizzical.

“Merde!” Lafarge spun around and saw a short, bald man standing behind him. He wore a brown trench coat, and held an attaché case and a pocket watch.

“You’re late, Mr Gilot,” the man chastised him. His eyes were small and beady and his shrivelled skin like leather.

“Mr… Mr Banks?” Lafarge inquired, regaining his composure.

“Yes, yes, I am Mr Banks” purred Mr Banks. “Now, please show me the item.”

“You show me the money,” replied Lafarge.

Mr Banks knelt down, placed the attaché case at his feet, and sprung open the catches. He lifted the lid, revealing bundles of pink bank notes, then climbed to his feet and extended a gloved hand.

“The key, if you please.”

Lafarge glanced down with thinly-disguised satisfaction and took the key from his pocket. It had been a lot of trouble. He had earned this. But something still troubled him.

“Why was the Jones girl in the museum today? Your people put her onto me?”

“I have no idea who you are talking about,” replied Mr Banks, “now give me the key please." His tone was strained.

Lafarge decided against labouring the point: he would be on a plane in four hours and would never see Amanda Jones again. He put the key in Mr Banks’ hand and crouched down to count his money. There were twenty thick bundles of 50 Euro notes: 'JB' had been good for his word. He slammed down the lid, revealing Mr Banks’ shiny shoes behind.

“Goodbye, Dr Lafarge,” said Mr Banks.

“Eh?” Lafarge looked up, puzzled - and into the barrel of a small Walther pistol, pointed at his face.

“Ce qui se passe??” gasped Lafarge, reeling backwards the ground in shock. “I don’t understand…. I did everything you asked!!”

“You did a good job for us, Doctor” said Banks, grim faced, “but I can’t allow this waste of money. I am sure you understand.”

“Alors… take the money then, Banks! Just let me go….” Lafarge said with disbelief.

“Unfortunately that’s not possible," Banks sighed. "It would be terribly... inconvenient for me when you called JB, don’t you think?” He took a cylindrical pistol silencer from his pocket, screwing it to the barrel of the gun.

Lafarge looked up, disgusted: “Va te faire foutre!”

Then, something caught his eye: a red dot danced along the sleeve of Banks’ coat.

From his left came a sudden flurry of noise: rusting foliage, then a loud bang followed by rapid clicking. In front of him, Banks convulsed and let out a strangled cry – two small darts anchored a pair of long thin wires into his arm. He staggered back and the gun fell from his hand, clattering onto the path. Lafarge scrambled forward to grab it but, as his hand closed around the weapon, a booted foot stamped down on his wrist - he felt the bone snap and let out a shriek of agony.

A black gloved hand reached down and picked up the gun. Lafarge looked up and saw the hooded figure silhouetted by a street lamp.

“Please…. No……” he pleaded. The pain from his broken wrist was indescribable. He waited for the end.

But the end didn’t come. The shadowy man took the pistol, ran a few steps and hurled it into the air. It soared through the darkening sky, glinting briefly before landing with a splash in the lake.

On the ground, beside Lafarge, Banks moaned and twitched into life. Lafarge looked around for the attaché case with his money: Banks had fallen on top of it.

“Connard…” growled Lafarge, agony turning to rage.

The booted feet of the dark figure approached. Lafarge looked up. Above him, the black-clad man threw back his hood – to reveal a young woman with a dark ponytail. She looked intensely angry. From her pocket she pulled a long black cylinder and gave it a whip-like flick - it extended into a baton half a metre long.

Lafarge flinched and rolled into a foetal position, shielding his burning wrist, left arm covering his head.

"No...." he cowered at the sound of repeated thwacks, as blow after blow rained on Banks. Soon, Banks’ cries of pain stopped; but the beating continued. Lafarge felt no pity. He was sick with pain. He had lost interest in working out what the hell was going on. He had to get out of there.

He began to shuffle away, turning and rolling onto his knees; moving like a sad three-legged dog he made for the bushes. But there was no respite. Footsteps came from behind then a savage kick in the side pushed him onto his back. Arm and legs flapping, he rolled around like a flipped beetle.

Lafarge looked up and saw the raven-haired girl staring down at him, panting with the effort of the beating she had given to Banks. She lifted up the baton to strike once more.

“No no no…..!” gasped Lafarge.

“Where’s Amanda Jones?” demanded the girl breathlessly.

“What?” exclaimed Lafarge. The question was confusing. He was delirious with pain. “What do I care about that little bitch?” he replied.

A boot landed between his legs with a force that made him forget his wrist. Lafarge howled in pain, curled up and began to sob.

The girl raised her baton. Quietly, calmly, she asked again:

“Where’s Amanda Jones?”

Related content
Comments: 50

insomnilla [2015-07-31 05:10:06 +0000 UTC]

Overall

Vision

Originality

Technique

Impact


The story was very intriguing! I love your description of the scenerios, and there were constany page turners througout! your inclusion of french was also a point reciever. The fact that you did not explain specifically what was goinf on kept the story interesting, and your vocabulary was of a high standard, you used catching words such as crackled, posterity, and surreptitiously. Also describing the elevator as a coffin was great foreshadowing, and the symbolism of NEw age students going UP the stairs vs. him going down was brilliant. THe dialouge you included in the story was smooth and natural, it did not seen rushed or made up, and it made sense. Overall i enjoyed this very much!!
Keep it up!!
Im happy to critique more ^_^

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Torqual3D In reply to insomnilla [2015-07-31 22:48:13 +0000 UTC]

Thanks, this is very kind - I love to get critique on writing!

I did go for a bit of intentional foreshadowing, not least with the coffin and the bit about John Lennon being shot.  I think Central Park could be a very scary place at night... I tried to make it this way, anyway.

Also pleased that you appreciated the dialogue.  Dialogue is hard to write but I like it.  There's certainly no better way of revealing character.

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insomnilla In reply to Torqual3D [2015-07-31 22:52:38 +0000 UTC]

yes! im a very skilled writer myself, my teachers are blown away(at least they say not to sound arrogant) sorry sorry sorry if i sound arrogant!!
but thorough critiques are always helpful so i try to be ^_~
would u mind checking out my page? I want to know your opinion on Phoxick!

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MonsieurPaul3D [2015-09-23 14:44:07 +0000 UTC]

Merde ! Very good scene, putain...

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Torqual3D In reply to MonsieurPaul3D [2015-09-24 00:58:14 +0000 UTC]

Ha ha LAFARGE met his match here!

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MonsieurPaul3D In reply to Torqual3D [2015-09-24 07:11:19 +0000 UTC]

Chiasse !

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quinmchale [2015-08-20 20:28:43 +0000 UTC]

Pretty good so far! Can't help but wonder about Amanda, though. Someone's gotta find her.

Nice!

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Torqual3D In reply to quinmchale [2015-08-24 00:53:16 +0000 UTC]

Someone knows she's there, as we saw in a previous chapter.  Question is - who?

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fum316 [2015-08-08 15:13:12 +0000 UTC]

Intense

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Torqual3D In reply to fum316 [2015-08-08 17:08:55 +0000 UTC]

Glad you think so!

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fum316 In reply to Torqual3D [2015-08-11 02:16:45 +0000 UTC]

Yeah, "Wheres Amanda?"  

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ThePHantom52 [2015-08-05 01:50:42 +0000 UTC]

Resurrected my laptop long enough to find this installment of the story. First of all - I have been to all of those locations in Central Park, and your description of them is very accurate. Next - having spent the last 7 months recovering from a broken wrist, I can well imagine LaFarge's pain. Though I know his pain, I do not sympathize. After what he did to Amanda, he deserves anything that happens to him. I'm going to purchase a new computer next week, so I can hopefully be more active here. In the meantime, thank you for sharing this story with us.

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Torqual3D In reply to ThePHantom52 [2015-08-05 02:34:13 +0000 UTC]

1) Thanks, I have been to all of the locations and taken a lot of pictures.  I love Central Park.  My inspiration for this scenario is actually a scene from the 1982 film Still of the Night, with Roy Scheider in Central Park after dark with a murderer after him.  It's an excellent movie.  Check it out if you can.

2) I was going to have Ciara (oops did I just admit it was her?) stamp on Lafarge's hand as he tries to pick up the gun.  Then I realised that it would possibly break his wrist.  And then I thought of you, so put this in.  Actually I had forgotten that I did that.  Thanks for spotting it.  It also helped to explain why Lafarge became so incapacitated and wasn't able to simply get up and run off with the money while Banks was getting a beating.  I have another friend who broke a wrist recently after an encounter with a bull in a field.  He describes the pain as being so intense as needing oxygen immediately afterwards and then a painkilling drip in hospital for a couple of days.  I wondered whether you would have sympathy for him.  He certainly didn't care about the museum guard or Amanda.  I didn't enjoy this pain that he suffered but I agree that his actions merited it.  Banks's too.

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DOAFan247 [2015-08-02 10:36:05 +0000 UTC]

What a twist! I wonder who the mystery woman is.

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TimOrgano [2015-08-01 19:31:48 +0000 UTC]

Wow. This is certainly very very awesome. Loving it.

I now think it's Ciara to the rescue. She's raven haired and very pretty. Excellent work

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Torqual3D In reply to TimOrgano [2015-08-01 21:13:50 +0000 UTC]

Could be....

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Golavus [2015-08-01 15:52:15 +0000 UTC]

A guardian angel for Amanda it seems. Nice change of perspective revealing just what she's got herself into this time, and what might be waiting next for her. Good work

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Torqual3D In reply to Golavus [2015-08-01 16:39:12 +0000 UTC]

Yeah, she's messing with the wrong people, and she thought Lafarge was bad.

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randomname314 [2015-07-31 19:27:14 +0000 UTC]

Hang in there, Amanda!!!

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Torqual3D In reply to randomname314 [2015-07-31 22:31:59 +0000 UTC]

Well, we know that someone finds her.  Question is, whom?

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gundam20012005 [2015-07-31 18:56:38 +0000 UTC]

Amanda has back up? Nice

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Torqual3D In reply to gundam20012005 [2015-07-31 22:32:18 +0000 UTC]

Well, we just know that it's someone that wants to find her.

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gundam20012005 In reply to Torqual3D [2015-08-01 00:48:50 +0000 UTC]

Hopefully someone good

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takemydreams [2015-07-31 18:47:13 +0000 UTC]

Excellent - i always love it when the tables turn the pacing's good in this section - and i certainly appreciate the authentic French cussing - even if noone else does!

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Torqual3D In reply to takemydreams [2015-07-31 22:33:24 +0000 UTC]

Thanks.  I used to have a lot of French work colleagues.  They gave me a full training in French cussing, the little connards.

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takemydreams In reply to Torqual3D [2015-08-04 17:21:56 +0000 UTC]

Hah! I always appreciate it when there's authetic swearing, even though i don't speak French lol - sounds like you had a thorough education there lol

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baddud [2015-07-31 16:35:24 +0000 UTC]

can that be the much loved ciara to the rescue? great story loved the pic in the casket. hope the picture is of this scene

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Torqual3D In reply to baddud [2015-07-31 22:34:05 +0000 UTC]

It could be.... maybe more will be clear after the next chapter.  Well, better be as it's the finale!

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perilsofdawn [2015-07-31 13:43:51 +0000 UTC]

Well paced with a healthy dose of intrigue.

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Torqual3D In reply to perilsofdawn [2015-07-31 22:34:12 +0000 UTC]

Thank you!

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Mad-Man-with-a-Pen [2015-07-31 13:39:50 +0000 UTC]

A double cross followed by a triple cross? Okay maybe not the best way to describe that but a fun chapter. Loved how Ciara popped up to pull an ambush on Lafarge and Mr. Banks. Hope she can make it Amanda in time

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Torqual3D In reply to Mad-Man-with-a-Pen [2015-07-31 22:34:34 +0000 UTC]

So that's your theory on who the woman in black is?

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Mad-Man-with-a-Pen In reply to Torqual3D [2015-08-01 00:57:15 +0000 UTC]

That's what I was going with but now not so sure...

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AzureVirgo [2015-07-31 13:17:45 +0000 UTC]

Quite the interesting twist. Who's the mystery lady and her connection to Amanda?

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Torqual3D In reply to AzureVirgo [2015-07-31 22:34:52 +0000 UTC]

All will be revealed next chapter.

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AzureVirgo In reply to Torqual3D [2015-07-31 22:41:55 +0000 UTC]

but

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Torqual3D In reply to AzureVirgo [2015-07-31 22:48:33 +0000 UTC]

Why ?

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AzureVirgo In reply to Torqual3D [2015-07-31 22:54:47 +0000 UTC]

The wait.

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Curia-DD [2015-07-31 11:54:25 +0000 UTC]

Yes!!! Someone has come to Amanda's rescue!!!!

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Torqual3D In reply to Curia-DD [2015-07-31 22:35:01 +0000 UTC]

Or have they..... mwahahahah

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Hoz3DArt [2015-07-31 09:44:00 +0000 UTC]

Great writing!

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Torqual3D In reply to Hoz3DArt [2015-07-31 22:35:07 +0000 UTC]

Thank you!

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Lespion1944 [2015-07-31 09:05:12 +0000 UTC]

I think I'd tell her if I was him. 

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Torqual3D In reply to Lespion1944 [2015-07-31 22:35:22 +0000 UTC]

Yeah I probably would start being a bit more helpful.

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TheBookie [2015-07-31 09:04:50 +0000 UTC]

The story's been a solid, and fairly arousing, adventure thus far but right here it took a turn for the awesome.   For the first time in your stories, I don't know what's going on, and that is fantastic.  Is this an unaccountably badass Ciara?  A bizarrely altruistic Nicole?  An amazingly successful Penelope wearing a black wig (probably not)?  Some new girl unseen by watcher eyes?!  I am looking forward very much to the conclusion!

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Torqual3D In reply to TheBookie [2015-07-31 22:36:49 +0000 UTC]

That's good!  I wanted this chapter to be confusing and surprising...  by the numbers is not so interesting, right?  Thanks so much, I appreciate the writing being described as 'awesome'.  It's so much harder to touch people with the written word.

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menatv [2015-07-31 06:41:50 +0000 UTC]

Wow...that was quite a twist to the story!  I like it.  Yes, who is that mystery lady?  This is getting most interesting!

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Torqual3D In reply to menatv [2015-07-31 22:37:08 +0000 UTC]

Thank you!  All answers in the next, concluding chapter.

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amazonarrow [2015-07-31 05:23:44 +0000 UTC]

Great! Who's the mystery lady?

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Torqual3D In reply to amazonarrow [2015-07-31 22:37:28 +0000 UTC]

We should find out next chapter, if the author is at all fair...

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