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tuffix — Prejudices
Published: 2010-12-08 10:41:37 +0000 UTC; Views: 57173; Favourites: 401; Downloads: 534
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...on both sides.Sometimes, when I'm outside, I really become paranoid
I imagine, what people think about me and my hijab while they are staring et me (even if they don't do).Then I stop and I think of all the other possible reasons, that make people look at me. And I realize that as Muslims we are often too sensitive and we are at risk to make the same mistakes, that we face: We generalize.
You know, I have many non-muslim friends and I very rarely faced any racist-based acts of hatred. And the few cases were merely ridiculous, alhamdulillah (thank God).
So we need tolerance on both sides.
As Muslims we need to leave behind the role of a victim and be more confident - and I mean self-confidence as well as some more trust in our fellow men. We can't cooperate while being suspicious towards each other.
Please note:
"Infidels" isn't meant seriously, it's not the word I would choose myself, that's why I put it in quotes. Rather I wanted to show, that the girl on the right side thinks, that the muslim girl will call her "infidel". So her own interpretation makes her be offended.
Brother Nayzak reminded me, that Allah said in the holy Qur'an: "O you who have believed, avoid much [negative] assumption. Indeed, some assumption is sin..."
[from Translation of 49:12]
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Comments: 307
If this were face book I would give you a big old thumbs up. The rest of the internet needs the thumbs up option.
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I usually think something different a bit... I wonder if she hates me as a representative of "cruel and viscous conqueror" and I wonder if she hates me for being Israeli, a Jew and a Zionist.
I guess it's more a matter of the regional thing.
In Russia, I caught myself thinking some times, "would those people hate me, because I am a Jew?" Those who found out that I cam from Israel, gave me those suspicious disgusted looks, it gave me the shivers... There is and there were a lot of anti-antisemitism-Judaism in Russia and the former USSR. Many Jews suffered from prosecutions, even until the 80-ties there was huge discrimination in universities and other facilities.
Also, when first I came to Germany I remembered that my Grandmother said, that she will hate them forever, no matter what. She had good reasons... They have slaughtered many people and branches from our family... So I wondered, would those people think that they are sorry they did not finish the "job" if they knew who I was?
How much of it is really prejudice? I think that my fears are grounded well on everyday reality... You don't know the person, you don't know what to expect... So we usually expect the worst of it...
The biggest problem now with misinterpretation of Islam is that we see what people do in the name of it in Asia, how they kill each other and others and how they treat their women. We don't see anything else. People usually associate Islam with violence. We don't know much past it. And frankly neither do I.
I am happy that there are people like you, but as I have learned it - in the hard way - you are minority.
(I would be happy to find myself wrong... If you know what I mean.)
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Omg, I finally found the time, to reply. I'm so sorry, that it's so late..
I can understand that as a Jew, especially an Israeli you have to fight against stereotypes as well (we're all in the same boat, I guess). You know, I barely met any Jew here, or at least they don't show. I guess that most have the same fears, that you have. It's true, having prejudices is a basic human trait that helps us understand the world and facilitate our decisions, like: "Are those my enemies?" And I can totally understand, that you have such fears and doubts.
But you know, I can assure you, that most people here in Germany are definetely not "sorry that they did not finish the job". I think most fear the contact, because they don't know how to behave considering the guilt of the past, they all still feel.
Last time my sister went with some other Muslims to a synagogue to gain insight into the jewish culture. Unfortunately I couldn't go with them because of an exam, but she told me, that it was so interesting and that all people there were very friendly.
And there's also a great project for the 9.11. by teens of all religions: Muslims, Jews, Christians, Bahai etc. I think, working with open-minded people, especially the youth to fight against those prejudices is the best way. We really need to overcome the distance and the fears of each other.
I'm afraid you have experienced more discrimination then I can imagine. That's why I can only tell you to don't lose hope. And you know: I'm sure, rasists are the minority - unfortunately they are louder and more obvious.
I know.. people do associate the worst things with Islam, since this is what media shows them. I wish people would question their judgements and try to get to know some real Muslims.
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That's ok, I guess you are a busy girl. Everyone of us have their own everyday lives so we don't necessarily have the time. Sometimes it takes for me even longer to to answer or continue a discussion.
I know that the media lie a lot to everyone and everywhere - as I see the lies they tell about my country, people and things that supposed to take place in here. For every fact they twist the truth, for every incident they exaggerate one aspect and ignore others - while they hardly can be called insignificant.
But on the other hand there are those regional problems which feed the fear against Islam and the people who fallow this religion - Terror. We live with it, we grow with it. It is part of our reality. It used to be worse, but there are some regions that suffer constantly from it. So while you see the hate that makes it all happen, and all the people that support this kind of hate - and those people say it's all in the name of freedom and Allah, it's hard to believe that there are others, who think differently, while they pray to the same Allah. If you understand what I mean.
So while my fears are well grounded, I don't see many people, like you, who try to show different culture, different Islam, different Arabic heritage. Who don't support the violence...
Most of them tell me how much they despise me and my people on every suitable opportunity they have, while retelling quite skillfully those twisted facts and half truths that feed everyone by media and local leaders.
I try to get to know. I guess it is how I found you and your other nice friend.
But on every two or three nice people I get tens of haters...
The situation is very complicated.
I am happy that there are people like you. I just wish there were much more, and that your voices would be heard instead of those of blood-thirsty, blind and ignorant, who feed the hate and worship it.
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A lot of girls at my college where Hijabs which surprises me since we don't have a high Muslim population in the area. And yes, I find that I do stare, but my internal dialog is slightly different. I look because, more often then not, a) muslim girls are gorgeous and b) the hijabs are gorguous. But I do get worried that they think I'm looking because I'm preudiced or something, so I tend to do it sneakily.
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That's cute ^^ Well, we're all prejudiced, unfortunately. We just need to interact more openly.
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We were raised to notice differences, yet we're supposed to act as if they're not there. Just look at childrens' books: "One of these things is not like the other, one of these things doesn't belong".
When we actually attempt to interact (my experience anyway), we get treated as if we're trying to cover up our prejudice or that we're not quite right in the head.
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Shit so true!
Weird thing i don't have it actually. When someone looks at me i almost never notice lol.
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This happens to me too. I even overlook my friends in the bus ^^
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I..I really like this picture a lot. I feel like you correctly expressed exactly how a good majority of the world thinks during these sort of interactions.
I grew up in a particularly racist family, my father being the worst. I never liked the way they spoke about other religions or races, and it disgusted me the hurtful names they would call them. I was never racist toward anyone, yet I was growing up in a family that was trying to influence me to be so.
In fact just the other week my family was at the movie theaters, doing what I thought was enjoying the movie. Apparently around the beginning of the film my mother noticed this woman dressed with a hijab who sat down right next to my sister. I learned that after the movie the whole time my mom was eying the woman suspiciously. She insisted that the woman had been looking around, messing with her purse and my mother's conclusion was that she might have a bomb. It wasn't until my mother saw that the woman had a husband with her that she calmed down.
I was personally furious on the inside that my mother would jump to such conclusions. I won't even say the obscenities that my father spouted off. Luckily neither of them said anything during the movie so there was no disturbance.
I felt hurt for that woman, almost like my mother was suspecting me for what she was suspecting the woman in the hijab to be doing.
I'm always nervous to approach anyone wearing one because I'm not going to lie...I'm pretty ignorant/clueless on the religion. I don't even stare or look for a few seconds because I fear I'll come off as racist. I think hijabs are very beautiful- but I could never get myself to say so. Although I did have a friend once who wore one- I could barely talk to her eye to eye. We talked like we were best friends through notes and text messages, but I was always afraid I was going to offend.
When I saw your page and your artwork, to be honest it shed a new light on what I think. Thank you for sharing your creativity and helping to "close the gap". ^-^
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Your comment is definetely one of the nicest I read, thank you 
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Y'know, when I was in college a bunch of girls wore the hijab. They shot me dirty looks because I was staring. I never got the courage to speak up and say I thought they were beautiful.
So sometimes the looks might be that. :>
<3
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Sometimes I stare a little. I like to look at the pretty hijabs.
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This is so true... If you think the other person is thinking the same though, it makes it better. And you just did that with this drawing.
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Very true, a wonderful message indeed .. while i'm a Muslim living in Muslim country on the internet i have met many examples of such cases of misunderstanding .. Side (A) has a completely wrong idea about Side (B) and vise versa and eac side keeps attacking the other .. funny thing is .. as soon as they sit down and talk (virtually XD) it turns out both of them had a lot of misconceptions about the other side.
Besides that fact i have thought a lot about the reasons behind these misconceptions .. is it only the mistake of not talking with each other or are there people who actually work to spread such misconceptions intentionally (ah conspiracy theory XD) or unintentionally .. for example since he is now on all headlines and regardless of my personal opinion of him i think Osama Bin Laden and Taliban did a lot of harm to Muslims worldwide and spread a lot of misconceptions about them .. same thing could be said about George Bush previous president of USA .. i'm sure he gave USA and the western world as a whole tons of bad reputation with his crusader cowboy antics.
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Of course..me too, sometimes I think of those conspiracy theories, but I'm too naive since I can't imagine politics to be so bad and sneaky (even if they obviously are at least a bit)... :/
So I guess the best way to conteract is to spread the truth, to talk to each other and to reduce misconecptions, as you said.
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I particularily love this one drawing of yours because it so accurately portray the current, very unpleasant climate. Even I, as a muslim-friendly non-muslim, feel tense when I see a hijab-wearing girl/woman, because I fear that if I look at her she might think I'm judging her, and therefore I avoid making eye-contact. I guess I too should avoid making assumptions about what other people think.
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Hehe, exactly. I think, there are so many people, who think alike. I hope, it's gonna change soon.
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Well in order for this to change, Europeans will have to reconsider their definition of who "we" are, who belongs to the "ingroup" so that Muslims, and in particular hijab-wearing Muslimas are recognized as fully legitimate part of said "ingroup". This may take some time because so far people are very divided over this. But in the long run the definition of ourselves will have become more universal.
Meanwhile, you can still meet interesting, unprejudiced people of all cultures and you will continue to develop the qualities and strenghts necessary to "live in spite of" prejudice. And these qualities, it seems to me that you already have a lot of. 
PS: I noted that you separate the main clause from its subordonate with a comma, just like in German and Esperanto! Interesting. It's true that it's clearer this way.
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That's true.
I think, that it would be much easier if people had a common denominator.
In the US for example, people of all backgrounds have a strong national feeling. However in Germany, I feel people are afraid of expressing such a sense of belonging (for obvious historical reasons..). Between you and me, as psychologists 
I hope and I'm optimistic, that with the facebook-generation will break down the old walls.
(:
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Very true. So many people believe all the propaganda in the media, movies and from the so-called leaders of the "Free" world. They don't realize that they are all programmed like droids to follow blindly and not challenge authority even when it is wrong. Peace be with you, sister.
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Oh my gosh, this is so true......lol! Not just with this topic, but I get paranoid about anyone I meet to the point where I stand still just staring blankly, because I'm sure that person is thinking 👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Haha, yep. Sometimes I think, that it would be so funny, to hear what other people think in the bus or train. Everone pretends, he's busy with something else. It would be so nice, if people wouldn't be so shy and would talk to each other..
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Haha!!!What an idea!!you puled it off nicely!!
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Hehe, thanks! Glad that you like it
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I admit...I look at people dressed with the head scarves, hijab, turbans, veils, ect. but it's not because I mean insult or to be rude! I find them fascinating and beautiful and also, it is rare to see it so when we see a woman wearing one, I guess most of us are in shock and are curious. I don't know, I cannot speak about everyone, but I personally think they are pretty and think it would be fun to wear one, I love all the bright colors and designs and I think it's so cool that you can worship God in that way by wearing a sign that so visibly marks you as His. Continue to be strong and confident, you are beautiful and by wearing the hijab, your modesty serves as a better tool to enhance your beauty, both inner and physical
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Aww, thank you! This is maybe one of the most adorable comments I ever got here!!
You know, it's not wrong to look at each other. That's ok and normal. In fact, I'm not judging those who look, but those, who start making negative assumptions.. like me
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people should really stop judging people of apperances, I never do, I guess I really shouldn't because I always wear a black fedora hat and black trench coat... the fashion sence of a bad nighborhood black market salesman, also dosen't help that I wear sun glasses, but sun glasses are so cool all the awesome action movie stars wears them... what was the topic again? oh yeah, people shouldn't judge by apperiance.
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of course not
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This kind of reminds me of a video I made for my production class: [link]
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Very nice message
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It's always rather confusing here.
I tend to look at people, mostly out of curiosity, then look away because I don't want to appear to be rude by staring, or give any wrong ideas.
Then I end up giving a negative impression to those people, even if I don't really mean to.
I guess that's why I don't get out much; I'm generally anxious around people I don't know, particularly girls but then again I'm a guy so it makes no sense that I'd be timid around girls, which may or may not be interpreted as fear, or in the worst case racism.
Got spat on once as well, not sure why though.
Now I guess I can somehow understand the reasoning behind it with the way some people behave, but what kind of hits me is that so many people seem to automatically assume the worst.
I think that's kind of depressing to think about, to be honest, and quite difficult for someone who doesn't know how to deal with people and their reactions in the first place.
Some days I get this feeling I can never make anyone feel comfortable in my presence, no matter how hard I might try.
And that feeling alone stings more than any words can.
I advise you to fight on for acceptance, sister in humanity; you may be able to achieve it in the future, when some are more evolved beyond panic thought.
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Thank you for the comment.
It's true: It actually makes you crazy to always have to think about the other's thoughts. Me too, I feel rather uncomfortable being in the bus or subway, because I don't like to look at other people, for it can be fully misunderstood 
However I try to treat myself by forcing me to look up and smile
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i featured ur illustration in my blog here [link]
so that muslims and non muslims can benefit from it
i shall gladly remove it if u do not like me posting it
jazakallah~
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Oh cool! Thank you, brother! I feel honored 
And your blog is really awesome, mashaallah! Keep up the great work!
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i think we should not think alot about what people -might - think of us, cause many times it's wrong.. we ought to do and say what we feel it's right! we are all equal, and in the end we all want the same things, let's share them
liked alot this drawing
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Thank you for the nice words. I totally agree!
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... Oh God, I hope I never made people feel that way. I actually just stare because I generally find it pretty and that I try to see if I could draw it... ><;
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aww
Don't worry, maybe you have a friendly gaze ^^ And if you smile it's even better (:
In fact, not the one who stares is the problem (I mean, you could stare, because there's a big spider on someones head), but the one, who misinterprets your gaze and lets hatred grow.
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