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Thaylien [2010-02-04 10:45:38 +0000 UTC]

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One thing I've always been impressed with in your art is the way you colour, lots of painted work and almost impressionist brushing.

One thing, however, that I've always wanted you to improve on is your linework.

There are two types of linework that are off in this picture, and dealing with those may be the realism that you're looking for.

For a start (this is just something I feel, not a major issue), your regular linework, your sketching; while it beats the pants off my own sketch work when I draw with traditional media, what I find is that it lacks finalising. Your lines are still highly sketchy and waver in places that they shouldn't.

I hate to use myself as an example, but that's what I have access to right now, even when I'm sketching, I use far finer, longer strokes. I try to finish sketches with the thinnest, smoothest strokes of the pen and work with the full rotation of my wrist and elbow (elbow is particularly good, as it can be rested on the desk and used as a pivot point for long curves).

That, however, is a minor issue, and is solved by time and desire to follow that route, not by me commenting on it ^^

Something that's wrong in this particular piece, on the other hand (something that I've rarely seen you do) is the other linework; action lines.

The large sweeping line of her sword is a large spin in the picture, but the sweep of her hair is the opposite direction, so it clashes and cancels out, making her look static.

Her arm is raised in a way that no swordswoman would do were she slicing or thrusting with a long blade, least of all were she channeling the power for the waves. Also it's action line goes straight out at an oblique angle to *both* of the lines of movement. Were she spinning clockwise (with her hair) I'd place the arm down and almost across her body, were she spinning the other way (with her sword) then I'd place it down and outwards away from her body.

With three out of the four main action lines of the piece conflicting, she doesn't look like she's moving properly at all.

And that's what I mean about the sense of 'life', life for this piece is movement. This attempts movement, but conflicts and evokes stillness.

Anyway, I hope this helps, I'm not trying to beat you to death with the Critique e.deviantart.net/emoticons/f/f… " width="34" height="15" alt="" title="Floating - "/>
FN!

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Saiyuki08 [2010-02-11 18:11:29 +0000 UTC]

hmm, i would say maybe clean up the lines, and add a bit more depth, with more shading?

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AriadneArca [2010-02-04 13:10:22 +0000 UTC]

Blue!

Haha, just had to get that out of the way. Nice colour choices, and I'm not just saying that because it's blue - this is a great pic for January, because it feels so frosty. Those flecks of white (foam, I'm guessing?) are a nice reminder of the snow at this time of year (in normal countries, that is... ). And of course all that blue compliments the aqua green colour of her hair and those purple clothes.

The sword's curve seems... a little over-exaggerated... though I know her sword curves normally so I'm not quite sure what's annoying me about it. I also think that the darker lines in the waves stand out a little much. But, that aside, her pose is awesome and I do love that sword. Her expression is awesome - calm, but kickass at the same time!

I really can't see what's annoying you so much about this picture. Rest assured, it looks great from here! But I understand the whole 'not feeling it' problem.

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