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WhiteWitchsDaughter — LOMM:KON - Issue 1, page 1
Published: 2010-11-12 19:41:33 +0000 UTC; Views: 1331; Favourites: 22; Downloads: 15
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Description
"Legends of Mellow Mira: Knights of Nature - Issue 1, page 1"Ok, I'm uploading this now to give you guys plenty of time to critique it...
I've started outlining page 2 and I'll continue working on it over the weekend, but no promises as to when I finish it.
*WhiteWitchsDaughter owns the characters and the artwork
Issue cover: [link]
Next: [link]
Related content
Comments: 41
Well the first impression of the piece is very positive. It's simple, straightforward, well-composed overall and sets the scene well. Going into detail a bit more:
COMPOSITION: Simple, effective, well-done. The flow of text is well laid and the glow gives off a great feeling of thought/conscious.
LINEART/COLORING/SHADING: Even though there isn't a lot for this first page, it's still noteworthy. It is very well done. The lineart is overall very clean. A little shaky in the face but nothing that would detract from the piece. The effects in the last panel are excellent, and do well to set up the reader for the next page.
POSSIBLE IMPROVEMENT: Possible room for improvement for this first page would probably be the text. I had to read through the upper part a couple times before I recognized some of the words. Although I will admit that I have not the best eyesight, it still concerns me that some people may have problems reading it. Perhaps a scripted text that doesn't have as much flare or bolding the outline more.
OVERALL: Great opening page, nice way to set the stage for the rest of the story. Script engages the reader and the page is pleasing to the eye.
Well done!
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Thanks gal! I'll do my best to take note of that for my next page. 
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Awesome
I would've critiqued it more but...there's not a lot of panels yet XD
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Aww, it's ok
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The yellow hedgehog does remind me of Cloud from FF7 a bit, some words can be a bit tricky to read with the font and I have seen these sort of scenarios quite a few times before, like this reminds me of how Cloud woke up in the Sector 5 Church again in FF7.
But other then that the colouring style of the characters is quite impressive and the character designs are pretty decent like with many of your other pieces of artwork I've seen.
It's not bad for a start and I'm curious to see how the rest of it goes.
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Thanks.
The start of this issue is deliberatly like FF7, I didn't know how to start it... 
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beshides it being ddifficult to read the font
its actually really good ^^
gives kinda a mistik feeling
i can tell theres alot of plot in this (of what i can make out of the font)
and the blur effeckt is also very good ^^
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Thanks ^^
Yeah, thankfully not that many pages will have that text.
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your welcome ^^
yea, its a good concept thats for sure, i just aint compatible with the font xDDD
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awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
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X3 Thanks Lilly
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Thank chu Hayley ^^
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Your welcome ^^
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Thankies ^^
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Thank chu X3
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Thanks! ^^
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Nice work Rena it looks really good makes me wanna play Kingdom hearts for some odd reason LOL I'm addicted to that game Just like I'm addicted to Sonic the Hedgehog 2
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Thanks Jessie ^^
LOL XD
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Thanks Ginger ^^
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Thanks ^^
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No problem!
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oh boy.. the next part is where he freaks out, right??
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Nah, he's just got a sore head XDD
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