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xpythonx — His Breathing
Published: 2005-07-12 15:48:29 +0000 UTC; Views: 86; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 6
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Description Closer and closer
The knife gradually came....
Closer and closer
To his share of fame....
His breathing faltered,
His eyes became glazed.
As the knife pierced his neck
And his vision became hazed.
He’d actually done,
What no one thought he could do.
If only we’d listened he might
Still stand with you.
Always listen to people
Share your troubles with them.
You might decide one day that
You want them as friends.
His breathing faltered
His eyes became glazed,
As the knife pierced his neck
And his vision became hazed.
If only we’d listened to his
Lonesome cries,
Maybe one day we’d be in
For a surprise.
For who knows what the future brings.
He could have been a Doctor.
But right now he’s getting his wings.
If only we’d listened to his cries
Which were scarred.
Maybe he wouldn’t have gone this far....
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Comments: 11

Sylphcat [2005-07-12 17:01:07 +0000 UTC]

o0o0 really nice rythmn to it! (sp?) i cant spell! lol

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

xpythonx In reply to Sylphcat [2005-07-12 18:12:01 +0000 UTC]

Rhythm lol and thanks

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Sylphcat In reply to xpythonx [2005-07-12 20:30:22 +0000 UTC]

lol thnakyou! i always get that one wrong your welcome ^^

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xpythonx In reply to Sylphcat [2005-07-13 06:45:05 +0000 UTC]

I do too most of the time, I just checked it on the net!!!

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Sylphcat In reply to xpythonx [2005-07-13 15:19:36 +0000 UTC]

lol!!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Triomphe [2005-07-12 16:34:00 +0000 UTC]

i like it, not sure bout the length of the sentences near the end tho, i dnt think they quite fit in with the pattern.
Apart from that great piece, once again.
*poke* mwahaah

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xpythonx In reply to Triomphe [2005-07-12 16:56:45 +0000 UTC]

thanks tubby *poke*

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Triomphe In reply to xpythonx [2005-07-12 19:22:22 +0000 UTC]

uh! *sounding disgusted* I am tubby!?
Well if thats tha way u wnt it then.......
*pokes her to death*

heehee i wud neva do dat, wud i katie (or kadie)

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xpythonx In reply to Triomphe [2005-07-13 06:48:02 +0000 UTC]

I was kidding about the tubby.

Poke me to death? I wouldn't put it past you.





...Tommy

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fieryangel35 [2005-07-12 15:53:07 +0000 UTC]

powerful. The repetition is perfect

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xpythonx In reply to fieryangel35 [2005-07-12 16:57:13 +0000 UTC]

Cheers

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