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zargon-yokoshima — Odd Hobbies

Published: 2005-06-09 22:34:28 +0000 UTC; Views: 825; Favourites: 5; Downloads: 56
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Description Well that was certainly my longest gap between deviations ever.

This came off of a new idea that and I came up with together. He wanted to make a harem series, but we needed a unique edge. So in one night we came up with the idea, and started on this pic the very same night.

So Stanley Guest (the guy in the background with the camera) is taking a film course at a prestigious art university in Oregon. His prof assigns him only one thing for the entire year: to make a documentery. Stanley decides that an art college would be a good place to find a lot of people with weird passtimes; this combined with his love for gorgeous women brings him to make a documentery about girls with odd hobbies. In this picture I have the first three. They are from right to left:

Crystal: An Antonio Vivaldi obsesse. Is the concert chair in the college's orechestra (first chair first violinist, for all you non orch dorks), and a catholic school girl wannabe. She is the very same Crystal from my club's comic (that I wrote and drew three pages for), only now eighteen years of age (at least).

Viki: She likes candles. Nuff said.

Jackie: The mysterious tough girl who isn't really tough at all. It's all just a look she's kept up so people would leave her alone, although it has attracted some unwanted male attention in the same way girls want to change moody boys. She's in Stanley's film class, and is constantly persued by him for her hobbie. She is reluctent to tell it to him for fear of ruining her little charade.
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Comments: 11

sphynx-c [2005-06-21 13:37:54 +0000 UTC]

It's good to see you back and posting!
...even if this was a bit ago now too XD
I'm going to agree with what was said above me about the arms being too small (and the hands as well for that matter)
But I'd say nothing else is outta whack.
Besides that, the story concept is awesome and it'll be pretty good if anything ever comes out of it. Although, if I may suggest, this story might need more girls too. See if you can't come up with two more uniquely hobbied girls (at least).

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zargon-yokoshima In reply to sphynx-c [2005-06-21 14:18:08 +0000 UTC]

Trust me, I've got three more already in mind.

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sphynx-c In reply to zargon-yokoshima [2005-06-21 14:33:31 +0000 UTC]

Awesome!
I should have expected it, you're the man!

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Captain-Crotchspike [2005-06-11 06:13:32 +0000 UTC]

The proportions on the chick in the middle are still completely out of whack and she looks like her body was stretched out horizontally. I've already talked to you about that, though. She probably should've been bulldozed way earlier on. The right breast (our left) on the blonde is still exactly like it was last time I saw this, it's...flat. It doesn't make any sense. Not as bad as the middle chick, but overall, the proportions are pretty sloppy. The one on the left is probably the best, but she too is a bit funny looking. Mainly the strangely short arms, which seems to be a universal problem here (especially noticable on, again, the middle chick). I guess you never figured out what I was talking about with the leg/thigh connection.

Biggest problem of all here: Very rushed proportions. They all look strange because of it. Googled reference pictures aren't gonna cut it anymore, you really need a book (and I'm not talking about that How To Draw crap). Since I still haven't found a book (which I should've by now but haven't because I'm a lazy fuck and need to get more recommendations), I use this:
[link]
I may have told you about this at Manga Board before. There are male, female, and hand versions of this program. I'd advise you to take screenshots of and print out what you'd like to use, since it tells you to register every two minutes anyway, and so you can save certain angles/positions/styles (there's 3D flat, 3D sketchy, etc.) and refer to all of them at the same time.

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goeyoshi In reply to Captain-Crotchspike [2005-06-12 07:10:31 +0000 UTC]

I have little more to add to this fantastic (lolwtfgay) critique, except the shoulders on Crystal look horrid and she looks WAY too slutty. That's an overdone character style, try something original. And while the guy in the corner is good, the rest of it just seems pretty damn bad. Nothing fits in with anything else... it just doesn't attract me.

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ArmageddonAngel [2005-06-10 03:49:03 +0000 UTC]

my favorite is that blonde girl. Damn she's fine!

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Necro-moonie [2005-06-10 00:04:43 +0000 UTC]

I like their clothes.
The girl with the pink hair, Crystal? she is really pretty. You did a great job on the coloring.

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Ur-Draco [2005-06-09 23:47:23 +0000 UTC]

The one in the middle almost looks like Meryl from Trigun. The Catholic School Girl wannabe looks a little slutty. Looks really good, Zargon! And welcome back.

Ur-Draco

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zargon-yokoshima In reply to Ur-Draco [2005-06-10 13:25:16 +0000 UTC]

Meryl? Huh, I never noticed that but I guess you're right. Crystal only wears those clothes to impress Vivaldi (being that he, "the Red Preist", used to teach at a convent girl's school). She anin't even Catholic (and she was actually studying under Buddha if you remember my "Zargon's comic fun time" pages).

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Shiina [2005-06-09 23:17:36 +0000 UTC]

good to see you posting again.
im very impressed. you've gotten so much better since i've met you way back in my soph year. good work. *thumbs up*

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zargon-yokoshima In reply to Shiina [2005-06-10 13:28:33 +0000 UTC]

Thanks. Hope you, Sam, Pat, Kyle (and perhaps Aaron if he's not too busy), can I can get together this summer. It's always so much fun when we have our little group outings.

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