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zephyrus7 — Infidelity
Published: 2006-03-04 21:57:59 +0000 UTC; Views: 644; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 8
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Description
It came with our reviling,scowling, surreptitious smiling
and our lust,
veiling shrouded symbols, torturing our trust.
And I thought
that this travesty of love might find us
caught in the act,
my dream of loyalty shrivelled and cracked.
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Comments: 13
I dunno, this one just hits me. The consonance/alliteration is worked to perfection. Makes me think of a short excerpt from a song that I have always loved:
"Visions of you on a motorcycle driveby, the cigarette ash it flies in your eyes and you don't mind, you smile, you say the world it doesn't fit with you I don't believe you, you're so serene.. careening through the universe, your axis on a tilt, you're guiltless and free, I hope you take a piece of me with you."
-Third Eye Blind
Just felt like sharing that with you. It's funny how you can fall in love with words sometimes, isn't it?
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the first three lines are damn good stuff, the rest is just ok.
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How you manage to stun me every time I read your words, I will never know. Absolutely fabulous piece, my good man.
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Hah wow what a compliment thank you very much! 
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I think it comes off just as well in text.
Lovely work.
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No problem! You should update more!
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lol I really should. I don't write very often though
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I understand that, I barely ever draw anymore
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No motivation I guess, and unis really busy
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I like it. It's so subversive and... coy.
Enough said, methinks.
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