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Published: 2010-01-03 13:41:35 +0000 UTC; Views: 7835; Favourites: 333; Downloads: 289
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Molly had a permanent smile fixed to her face. It was just part of who she was. Sometimes this angered Rachael. She could be crying on Molly's shoulder and her companion would still be beaming away like an idiot.Rachael was always scornful when books talked about dogs knowing how their owners were feeling.
'Molly never has a fucking clue! She's just in a constant state of 'Happy'! She's the least empathic animal on the planet. I swear, her internal monologue is just 'I'm a dog! I'm a dog! I'm a dog!' on loop.'
Once Rachael had held Molly's tail down to try and stop it wagging. Molly had grinned at her, good-naturedly and the four vertebra at the base of the tail had continued to wiggle side to side.
Rachael and Molly spent a lot of time together on the front porch. They would survey the garden and listen to Rachael's parents scream at each other inside the house. Sometimes a parent would join them afterwards and say something like 'sorry you had to hear that, champ. It must be tough on you. Geeze! That mulberry is getting big! We'll have to cut it back soon.' Molly would radiate contentedness. 'I'm a dog! I'm a dog! I'm a dog!'
One day Rachael's mother told her to pack her things. They were going to visit Rachael's grandmother in Ohio for a 'girl's weekend'.
Rachael didn't want to go. She hated visiting relatives. They talked over her head about sore feet, dietitians and how Rachael's breasts were starting to grow at last.
Rachael said goodbye to her father with a quick kiss and to Molly with a belly-rub. Molly pulled a stupidly blissful face and her leg convulsed with pleasure. 'I'm a dog! I'm a dog! I'm a dog! Its good to be a dog!'
'See you Tuesday, Boof-head. You keep an eye on the mulberry for me.'
Rachael never saw Molly again. When they arrived in Ohio, her mother sent for their things. Her Grandma didn't have a garden so 'of course we can't get the dog sent up, Racheal! Please don't keep asking me about it!'
Six months later her dad came to visit. He brought her an ipod nano and a big poster of a band she had never heard of before but he thought she should get into. He beamed at her.
'How's Molly?'
'Aren't you glad to see me?'
'Not really.'
'Molly's gone to live with a new family. I've been working long hours and without you there to walk her Molly was really lonely. She'll be much happier now.'
'And you didn't think to call me and ask how I'd feel about this?'
Rachael stared at her father's fading smile. 'He's trying really hard' she told herself. She went out to lunch with him and didn't cry or yell the entire time. It felt like she was trying to hold all the atoms of her body together. Her father pulled out a digital camera and asked her to smile. She did. 'Is this what being a grown-up feels like?' Rachael wondered.
That night, Rachael dreamed she had big, floppy paws and a long tail and a nose which wanted to follow everything. In her dream her father flung his arms around her and cried into her big, shaggy shoulder. 'You don't understand! You don't have a fucking clue what its like!' he sobbed. 'I'm a dog!' thought Rachael and beamed.
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Comments: 157
Halohid In reply to ??? [2010-01-08 12:18:00 +0000 UTC]
Thank you very much! This was an incredibly beautifully, thoughtful and helpful response. My deepest and most sincere thanks.
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Halohid In reply to SpamSp4mSpam [2010-01-10 12:41:05 +0000 UTC]
Knowing that I am giving the right bits of information in such a short story is so very helpful. My main goal when I set out to write this one was 'okay, make it the shortest story yet. See how much of a story you can tell fast!' So I'm chuffed. Also, I was a little worried that people weren't 'getting it' as a few people had made comments which made me wonder if I had missed the mark but you sighting the loss of innocence and holding together relationships was exactly what I wanted to hear. So it helped a lot! Thank you! And it directed me to one of the best ID shots I've seen in a long while.
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Jonpc042 [2010-09-12 16:03:21 +0000 UTC]
This is beautiful. I love the way you develop the girl into an ever more complex contrast to the dog, until, at the end, you link the two in one powerful stroke. It makes me sad, but in a good way. Thanks for sharing, again!
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Halohid In reply to Jonpc042 [2010-09-16 13:19:11 +0000 UTC]
Thank you! I'm planning to turn this into a picture book with the help of a beautiful artist friend of mine.
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GyspyGrace [2010-06-30 17:40:59 +0000 UTC]
I love your work. Your stories are very entertaining. I love how you can create a fully real character in such a short piece. You're so talented!
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Halohid In reply to GyspyGrace [2010-07-04 02:57:15 +0000 UTC]
Thank you very much! I find incredibly short pieces so exciting to write because you must be so very on the ball to use every word to your advantage. And because it is such a massive ask to expect people to meet and connect to a character in so few words!
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DailyLitDeviations [2010-06-29 05:54:56 +0000 UTC]
Congratulations on your Daily Deviation! You have been featured in an article here: [link] celebrating DLD features that go on to achieve such great success. Please it to show your support and to congratulate others who share your title of DD-recipient!
Keep writing and keep creating.
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copy-neko [2010-04-04 18:40:15 +0000 UTC]
god. i'm getting addicted to your writings. you are a very skillful story teller.
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Halohid In reply to copy-neko [2010-04-06 21:59:46 +0000 UTC]
Thank you very much! I am very happy to hear that!
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raspil [2010-03-25 20:34:26 +0000 UTC]
Brilliant visualization and emotion in this piece. I liked it very much.
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Halohid In reply to raspil [2010-03-27 13:34:58 +0000 UTC]
Thank you! I am so delighted that it meant so much to so many people.
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Otacon144 [2010-03-24 04:32:14 +0000 UTC]
This hit home hard for me. :<
It reminds me of the last time I saw my first dog - I came home from school one day and she was gone.
I think the part that got me the most was when she asks him why he didn't bother asking her before he gave her away.
"Why didn't you ask me first?"
Why is that question so damned hard to answer?
Why can't people just ANSWER it?
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Halohid In reply to Otacon144 [2010-03-27 13:42:35 +0000 UTC]
God! I'm so sorry to hear that! You poor thing!
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SpamDragon [2010-03-22 07:41:20 +0000 UTC]
I followed this from :bekkia: 's page. I'm glad I did! Thanks for posting this, I really enjoyed it. You managed to carry a lot of heart in a small number of words. A talent I clearly don't have!
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Halohid In reply to SpamDragon [2010-03-27 13:39:26 +0000 UTC]
Thank you very much! I think this is the shortest story in my gallery. My goal was actually to write in the style of a picture book but just twist it a little to make it adult. I'm really glad it seems to have hit home for so many people. Thanks!
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SpamDragon In reply to Halohid [2010-03-27 22:13:11 +0000 UTC]
I put way too much detail into my writing I think. I find myself trying to describe exactly what I see in my mind, so it's good to be able to read stuff like this that is much better written. I enjoyed the story, and I also learn a bit more too
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Halohid In reply to peridot-magelette [2010-03-22 06:44:11 +0000 UTC]
Thanks!
And what a beautiful quite you have in your 'signature'!
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peridot-magelette In reply to Halohid [2010-03-23 23:08:53 +0000 UTC]
you're welcome, and thanks!
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LunaticStar [2010-03-21 05:50:34 +0000 UTC]
Ouch. I'm a sucker for a dog story, the love between a kid and her dog has few rivals in life. Well done. Short comment sure to be lost in the flood of comments, but I'm super sleepy and don't want to say anything lame.
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Halohid In reply to LunaticStar [2010-03-22 06:43:34 +0000 UTC]
Thank you very much! And your comment wasn't lost. I saw it and really appreciate it. Thanks!
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LunaticStar In reply to Halohid [2010-03-22 17:26:21 +0000 UTC]
I'm glad. I know it's easy to get overwhelmed.
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Celestial-Gold [2010-03-21 05:07:20 +0000 UTC]
Great job tying the story together through the figure of the blissful dog, the cycle lends it a poignant continuance.
The short brief paragraphs work well to portray the girl's impatience and do paint the sort of storybook-esque snapshots into her life.
I really feel the unspecified hurt of her father, wonderfully written since it is implied yet so very tangible. Wonderful work! Definitely deserving of a DD.
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Halohid In reply to Celestial-Gold [2010-03-22 06:42:26 +0000 UTC]
Thank you for your beautifully considered response. It means so much to me to know that people are giving my words so much thought. I did actually have a picture book in mind when I was writing it. I am quite obsessed on the idea of writing picture books in a childish style for grown-ups.
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Viroquet [2010-03-21 04:43:04 +0000 UTC]
I thought this was absurdly beautiful. Really I almost felt like crying at the end.
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Halohid In reply to Viroquet [2010-03-22 06:40:59 +0000 UTC]
Thank you! That means a lot to me.
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CrystalEnceladus [2010-03-21 03:55:14 +0000 UTC]
Grabbed me from the first sentence. The lies parents tell the kids, thinking they're stupid and willing to go along with getting rid of a despensable thing like a dog.
The spare prose hints what's to come, but you read it, anyway, it's that good.
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Halohid In reply to CrystalEnceladus [2010-03-22 06:40:39 +0000 UTC]
Thank you very much! I must admit, I didn't really know what was coming next when I wrote it. Usually I plan very precisely but this time I knew the dog was going to the pound and that was all. I really didn't see the end coming until I wrote it.
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Dragonfly22 [2010-03-21 03:24:20 +0000 UTC]
Very interesting story! It's simple but catching at the same time, and you manage to convey emotions effectively. Sometimes you do have to smile even when you don't feel like it, for your own sake.
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MewtwosLittleOne [2010-03-21 02:54:04 +0000 UTC]
I'm probably the only one here that doesnt get what this story is talking about.
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Halohid In reply to MewtwosLittleOne [2010-03-22 06:34:09 +0000 UTC]
I guess it is about divorce and how children have to grow up when families fall apart.
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MewtwosLittleOne In reply to Halohid [2010-03-25 03:45:16 +0000 UTC]
I didnt see any element regarding that. I thought the story was about an actual dog and a comment by ~Otacon144 lead me to believe this as well.
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Leekaara [2010-03-21 01:43:57 +0000 UTC]
This made my heart ache. A lot.
It really grabbed me.
<3
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Vilxen In reply to Leekaara [2010-03-21 03:35:07 +0000 UTC]
Hey, Leekaara, nice hair (I really mean it).
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AzuraeSkye [2010-03-21 00:10:24 +0000 UTC]
Very compelling story. The way you can convey so much emotion and meaning in just a few words is really impressive, I love your concise style.
Great work!
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Halohid In reply to AzuraeSkye [2010-03-22 06:33:10 +0000 UTC]
Thank you! This is one of the shortest stories I have ever posted. I was determined to keep it brief and see how much character I could fit into very few words. I'm so glad people feel it paid off!
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AzuraeSkye In reply to Halohid [2010-03-24 04:04:05 +0000 UTC]
Yes, it certainly did Congratulations on the DD!
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ZomaS-M [2010-03-21 00:00:02 +0000 UTC]
Very interesting. Its meaning has beautiful symmetry. Gorgeously written, too. Well done! I'd been hoping to take a peek at some of your literature, and I'm glad I did!
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Halohid In reply to ZomaS-M [2010-03-22 06:31:15 +0000 UTC]
Thank you! I'm glad you did also. It tends to get lost amid all the photos.
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