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Published: 2020-09-08 22:41:57 +0000 UTC; Views: 678; Favourites: 15; Downloads: 0
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Joe and Dan are tasked with finding out who killed that blonde woman from before. Yep.Joe: Another day, another time where the police dumps a murder mystery on our doorstep. Hooray.
Dan: Why are you complaining? It's work, partner! If not for my old friends at the precinct giving us work, we wouldn't be able to pay our rent.
Joe: Not like we're paying it anyway...
Dan: It's about the principle, Joe. The principle!
Joe: Jesus, look at these photos. Why is it always some broad that gets offed like this? Her love interest must've really hated her guts.
Dan: Can you blame him? I'd have killed her too, if she was walking around naked like that. No thots, ever.
Joe: Man, you've really changed, buddy. I couldn't have imagined you saying that a week ago.
Dan: Yeah? Well, a week ago, I wasn't stood up by an e-thot. I bet she has aids from all the dudes she's railroaded.
Joe: ...
Dan: All righty here. So this chick was shot by her love interest, or so the story goes. We got that from the love letter she was holding. Ha! Imagine confessing to someone. What'd she expect to happen?
Joe: Cut out that negativity. It's not helping.
Dan: Yeah, I bet. Maybe if I drown my sorrows in beer some more, she'll magically come back to life. That'll help.
Joe: Do you want to solve this, or not?
Dan: ...I do. Sorry.
Joe: I don't think she was shot by her love interest, actually. There wasn't any gunpowder residue on her body where she was shot, so she couldn't have been shot from a close range.
Dan: Hey, you're right. That's kinda strange, huh?
Joe: Plus, the angle's all wrong. The bullet went through her chest and came out near the bottom of her spine.
Dan: So, what? You're saying she was shot by someone else?
Joe: That's what the evidence is telling me. Given the angle of the shot, she had to have been shot from an elevated location, not in front of her like we were told.
Dan: I see... so this chick went to meet up with this dude, Jack. And she was shot on the way there, I guess? The files say that Jack was supposed to meet her at a different location, but she never showed up.
Joe: Yeah. Of course, Jack could've been lying about that, which is why he's still a suspect. But I think this evidence confirms his story.
Dan: Then, if not him, who shot her? There weren't any other reported suspects besides this dude. And there's the factor of her being naked for some reason too...
Joe: I think a woman shot her.
Dan: A... a woman? Like, a jealous girlfriend?
Joe: Maybe.
Dan: What makes you say that?
Joe: Well, this woman's not completely naked. She was wearing a hat, and jacket. Because she was going to confess, she'd probably put on her best clothes for the occasion.
Dan: Soooo... why's she naked now? Someone took her clothes?
Joe: That's what I think, and the killer probably did it to shift the blame away from herself. Think about it: what's one of the most common crimes that happens to a woman?
Dan: Sexual assault.
Joe: There you go. The killer probably wanted to make the crime scene look like the woman had been assaulted in addition to being killed. Such a distinction would automatically make the killer a man.
Dan: Oh, I see. That's pretty big brained, honestly.
Joe: Big brained or not, she still made a mistake. Sure, she took her clothes, but the woman hasn't actually been assaulted at all. The only injury on her is the gun wound, and there weren't any other things present that would suggest a man being there.
Dan: So it's a woman, then. Hmm, yeah, I guess. I don't know many dudes who'd see a naked woman like that and not do anything to her, dead or not.
All right then. I'll phone the precinct and tell 'em to check any high places near the crime scene. Maybe there's a bullet casing left that we can use to identify the gun the killer had.
Joe: Make them do a 3 mile wide search. If the killer shot from somewhere high up, they probably used a sniper rifle. I've seen people shoot them from pretty far away.
Dan: Got it, buddy. I've gotta say though, this Jack guy's got a pretty loyal woman! How many girls are out there that know how to handle a gun?
Joe: Not many...
Dan: You're saying that like you know who it is! Ha!
Joe: As if. Hurry up and call the cops before they change their minds.
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Comments: 2
GamerArtisan [2021-03-29 01:37:52 +0000 UTC]
👍: 1 ⏩: 1
Hax-Dev In reply to GamerArtisan [2021-03-29 13:23:14 +0000 UTC]
👍: 1 ⏩: 0