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People on all sides of this dirty little civil war would have been appalled, but the truth was the opposing commanders both knew exactly how to get in touch with each other.  Megatron’s line to Optimus connected to his office.  Optimus’ line to Megatron connected right in the middle of Decepticon Central Command...and unfortunately Megatron was not in the command center.

It was Starscream’s watch.

“Well well, what do we have here?” Starscream chuckled.

“I need to speak to Megatron, Starscream,” Optimus said calmly.

“Whatever for?  You can give me your surrender just as easily,” Starscream informed him.

Behind Optimus’ com screen where Starscream couldn’t see them, Magnus clenched his fists, and Rodimus wrung the neck on an imaginary opponent.  Optimus vowed not to be distracted by any of them.

“I need to speak to Megatron,” Optimus repeated.

“What’s the magic word?” Starscream laughed.

Optimus turned optics up to the heavens and asked Primus for patience.  “Please,” he said.

“What do you want to talk to him about?” Starscream demanded.

“I will tell HIM when he arrives,” Optimus said.

“You go Op,” Rodimus mouthed at him.

“Megatron is not available,” Starscream informed him.  “He’s having his chassis polished and can’t be bothered with insignificant distractions.”

Optimus watched Rodimus go back to choking and then punching the air and thought a few things about distractions.  Magnus had both hands over his mouth.

His temper started to fray a bit.  “Starscream.  Get Megatron.”

“Make me!” Starscream laughed shrilly.

Optimus was just about to really get nasty when his precise wish came true unexpectedly.

A large hand appeared from somewhere, gripped the back of Starscream’s head, and smashed his face right down onto the console.  The purple arm attached to the hand straightened and held.  Whoever owned the arm was obviously leaning his full weight right onto Starscream’s head.  Starscream’s arms flailed uselessly and muffled protests came frantically over the com line.

An expressionless face appeared on the view-screen.  “Optimus Prime,” the face intoned.

“OO...Cyclonus!” Rodimus mouthed.  “Better!”

Optimus repeated his request to speak to Megatron.  Cyclonus nodded, and told someone off-screen to contact Megatron immediately.  The solemn Decepticon didn’t release Starscream or even appear to notice the Second’s attempts to escape.

“Megatron will be here momentarily Optimus Prime.”

“Thank you...Cyclonus is it?” Optimus said.  He tried to ignore Rodimus flawlessly pantomiming Cyclonus’ expression and mannerisms, even though Rodimus couldn’t see the Decepticon.

“You’re intelligence gathering is impressive,” Cyclonus responded.  “I thought my name was still unknown to you.  Then again, you have not stood so long against us by being a fool, unlike this piece of slag.”

Optimus was not about to admit that his information came from an alternate dimensional traveling clown who was still mimicking Cyclonus.  Just as he was beginning to crack and start laughing about it, Optimus and Starscream were saved by Megatron’s appearance in the Command Center.

“Cyclonus,” Megatron ordered, “What is the meaning of this?”

“We have received a call from our honored opponent Lord Megatron,” Cyclonus rumbled calmly.  “Starscream did not see fit to inform you so I felt I should ask him to reconsider.”

Megatron was torn between fury at this news and grim glee that his Second/rival was being handled so deftly.

“It is good to see you have things well in hand Cyclonus,” Megatron remarked neutrally.  “Release him.”  Cyclonus complied instantly and stood at attention, hands clasped behind his back.  Rodimus did the same and Optimus’ stoic City Commander sank to the floor, both hands still over his mouth.  Starscream looked up gratefully for a second, only to have Megatron’s hand slam his face back down.

Optimus coughed; ridiculous for an Autobot but there it was.

Megatron looked long and hard at his opponent.  He liked to think he knew Optimus extremely well after so many years of locking horns.  Right now Optimus seemed... distracted.

“What is it Optimus Prime?” Megatron asked.

Optimus straightened and faced his enemy.  “I must speak to you about one of your own.  She has been in our custody for most of the last year, Megatron.”

“One of MY Decepticons?” Megatron asked incredulously.  None of his people were suspected of being captured.

“I speak of Foul Play, Megatron.”

Megatron paused and looked blank for a long moment.  “Oh...that little femme jet.  We assumed she was killed during the explosion at the human lab.  Why have you kept her prisoner so long?  That’s not like you Optimus Prime.”

“Under the circumstances we could not have returned her to you.  An accident at the lab caused her and a few of my people to be changed into humans.  We have only just found a way to change them back.  She would like to return to your ranks.”

“One of my warriors?  A filthy human?!  Surely you can’t expect me to believe such a thing?” Megatron cried.  The Decepticon leader was again confused by Optimus’ reaction.  Prime wasn’t looking at the screen, but somewhere behind it.  The Autobot sighed raggedly.

“Megatron, do you really think I would contact you for anything if I wasn’t serious?” Optimus asked flatly.  His voice was only too even.

Megatron considered that.  If there was one thing he could count on, it was Optimus Prime and his incredible consistency.  Megatron knew he could trust his worst enemy a lot further than his own second-in-command.  Prime wouldn’t call for no reason.  Prime wouldn’t call to trick them.  On the other hand it made complete sense that Optimus would have taken in a Decepticon warrior that needed help.  Stupid Autobot.  Foul Play wasn’t important.  They hadn’t even sent back a search party for her when she hadn’t turned up after the battle...and this idiot had obviously spent an entire year of effort and resources taking care of her.

A year...this gave Megatron pause.  They had noticed a few Autobots disappeared around that same time too.  Prime’s son...that annoying triple changer...the pink femme...and Ultra Magnus.  The others Megatron wasn’t too concerned about, although he had been privately hopeful the loss of his son would somehow crack Optimus, but Magnus....

Megatron really hoped Magnus was gone for good.  He would never know the City Commander was currently fighting with all his strength to keep from laughing at Rodimus’ dead-on impression of Megatron’s pompous posturing.  If Megatron could have seen Magnus it might have ended the war right there by giving the Decepticon leader a fatal over-load.

What Megatron could see was that Optimus was now staring at the screen exclusively and was holding his hand up to the side of his face as if blocking a bright light.

“Well?” Optimus prompted.

Megatron took a moment to remember the initial question.  “No.  No Optimus Prime, I have never known you to contact me without reason.  We should meet and do a prisoner exchange.”

“You don’t have any Autobot prisoners to exchange, Megatron,” Optimus pointed out.

“We could arrange for some,” Cyclonus informed him.

Optimus stared at the grave Decepticon.  He gave Optimus the surges and Prime could sense the ‘Con meant exactly what he said.

Optimus hurried to deflect that line of conversation.   “It doesn’t matter.  Foul Play is not really a prisoner.  She is free to go.  Just tell us when and where you want to meet.”

They hammered out a place and time with little difficulty...an abandoned Air Force base south of Metroplex’s current location, the next day, at sunrise.

...:...:...:
...:...:...:
...:...:...:

“I am going to kill both of you!” Optimus decreed.

The laughing hyenas only laughed more.

“Magnus!  I’m going to throw you in detention!” Optimus raged.

“Before or after you kill him?” Rodimus asked brightly.

“I didn’t do anything!” Magnus protested.  “It’s all his fault!”

“Magnus!  I count on you to be...to be..” Optimus started.

“To be a complete stick-in-the-mud?” Rodimus helped.  “To be an anal, unvarying bastard? To be the universe’s ultimate straight man? To be...”

“That’s enough Asshole,” Magnus growled.

Optimus groaned.  “Something like that!  As for you,” Optimus turned on Rodi, then paused.  Rodimus wasn’t really his to discipline but... “You are a Prime!  Surely you know how important that call was!  You wouldn’t treat your partner that way! ....  Would you?”

Rodimus snorted.  “All the time!  Consider it a challenge for your diplomatic ability to keep a neutral expression under extreme duress.  It’s training.  Lancer tests our reflexes and I test your ability to keep a straight face!”

This notion sent Magnus over the edge again.  Only Rodimus could justify being a trouble-maker this way.

Optimus must have been thinking something similar, because he finally cracked and laughed too.

Scene and story excerpt from Maelstrom: Story 33 Conversations

Author's note: This story is part of a LONG series called Maelstrom. It is strictly Gen. 1 - sorry, but that was all that was out when I started writing. If you have not read the nine original Maelstrom Comics and the preceding text stories, I strongly suggest you do.
RATED MATURE FOR VIOLENCE!

For the start of the series: illmatar.deviantart.com/galler…

For this particular scene:

Maelstrom 33 Conversations4 LConversations in the Kitchen
Chapter 4
Part L
Continued from Part K
“I’m never going to get used to this color scheme,” Magnus grumbled to himself.  “You quit smirking Rodimus.  It could be worse.  It could be yours!”
“I’m not going to argue about it,” Rodimus said.  “I think you look good.  You still aren’t as bright as your twin in my universe.”
Magnus grunted assent and stomped towards Prime’s office.  Rodimus grimaced while his mate cussed into his mind.  Magnus had learned a lot about walking quietly from her, and when he first stood up after being changed he had actually been doing pretty well.  Now though he was worried and the “tromp of doom” reverberated down the halls of Metroplex for the first time in almost a year.  Autobots around the base shuddered in fear before they even identified the noise.
Metroplex’s omn

LOOK! My one and only drawing of Starscream!

Description
People on all sides of this dirty little civil war would have been appalled, but the truth was the opposing commanders both knew exactly how to get in touch with each other.  Megatron’s line to Optimus connected to his office.  Optimus’ line to Megatron connected right in the middle of Decepticon Central Command...and unfortunately Megatron was not in the command center.

It was Starscream’s watch.

“Well well, what do we have here?” Starscream chuckled.

“I need to speak to Megatron, Starscream,” Optimus said calmly.

“Whatever for?  You can give me your surrender just as easily,” Starscream informed him.

Behind Optimus’ com screen where Starscream couldn’t see them, Magnus clenched his fists, and Rodimus wrung the neck on an imaginary opponent.  Optimus vowed not to be distracted by any of them.

“I need to speak to Megatron,” Optimus repeated.

“What’s the magic word?” Starscream laughed.

Optimus turned optics up to the heavens and asked Primus for patience.  “Please,” he said.

“What do you want to talk to him about?” Starscream demanded.

“I will tell HIM when he arrives,” Optimus said.

“You go Op,” Rodimus mouthed at him.

“Megatron is not available,” Starscream informed him.  “He’s having his chassis polished and can’t be bothered with insignificant distractions.”

Optimus watched Rodimus go back to choking and then punching the air and thought a few things about distractions.  Magnus had both hands over his mouth.

His temper started to fray a bit.  “Starscream.  Get Megatron.”

“Make me!” Starscream laughed shrilly.

Optimus was just about to really get nasty when his precise wish came true unexpectedly.

A large hand appeared from somewhere, gripped the back of Starscream’s head, and smashed his face right down onto the console.  The purple arm attached to the hand straightened and held.  Whoever owned the arm was obviously leaning his full weight right onto Starscream’s head.  Starscream’s arms flailed uselessly and muffled protests came frantically over the com line.

An expressionless face appeared on the view-screen.  “Optimus Prime,” the face intoned.

“OO...Cyclonus!” Rodimus mouthed.  “Better!”

Optimus repeated his request to speak to Megatron.  Cyclonus nodded, and told someone off-screen to contact Megatron immediately.  The solemn Decepticon didn’t release Starscream or even appear to notice the Second’s attempts to escape.

“Megatron will be here momentarily Optimus Prime.”

“Thank you...Cyclonus is it?” Optimus said.  He tried to ignore Rodimus flawlessly pantomiming Cyclonus’ expression and mannerisms, even though Rodimus couldn’t see the Decepticon.

“You’re intelligence gathering is impressive,” Cyclonus responded.  “I thought my name was still unknown to you.  Then again, you have not stood so long against us by being a fool, unlike this piece of slag.”

Optimus was not about to admit that his information came from an alternate dimensional traveling clown who was still mimicking Cyclonus.  Just as he was beginning to crack and start laughing about it, Optimus and Starscream were saved by Megatron’s appearance in the Command Center.

“Cyclonus,” Megatron ordered, “What is the meaning of this?”

“We have received a call from our honored opponent Lord Megatron,” Cyclonus rumbled calmly.  “Starscream did not see fit to inform you so I felt I should ask him to reconsider.”

Megatron was torn between fury at this news and grim glee that his Second/rival was being handled so deftly.

“It is good to see you have things well in hand Cyclonus,” Megatron remarked neutrally.  “Release him.”  Cyclonus complied instantly and stood at attention, hands clasped behind his back.  Rodimus did the same and Optimus’ stoic City Commander sank to the floor, both hands still over his mouth.  Starscream looked up gratefully for a second, only to have Megatron’s hand slam his face back down.

Optimus coughed; ridiculous for an Autobot but there it was.

Megatron looked long and hard at his opponent.  He liked to think he knew Optimus extremely well after so many years of locking horns.  Right now Optimus seemed... distracted.

“What is it Optimus Prime?” Megatron asked.

Optimus straightened and faced his enemy.  “I must speak to you about one of your own.  She has been in our custody for most of the last year, Megatron.”

“One of MY Decepticons?” Megatron asked incredulously.  None of his people were suspected of being captured.

“I speak of Foul Play, Megatron.”

Megatron paused and looked blank for a long moment.  “Oh...that little femme jet.  We assumed she was killed during the explosion at the human lab.  Why have you kept her prisoner so long?  That’s not like you Optimus Prime.”

“Under the circumstances we could not have returned her to you.  An accident at the lab caused her and a few of my people to be changed into humans.  We have only just found a way to change them back.  She would like to return to your ranks.”

“One of my warriors?  A filthy human?!  Surely you can’t expect me to believe such a thing?” Megatron cried.  The Decepticon leader was again confused by Optimus’ reaction.  Prime wasn’t looking at the screen, but somewhere behind it.  The Autobot sighed raggedly.

“Megatron, do you really think I would contact you for anything if I wasn’t serious?” Optimus asked flatly.  His voice was only too even.

Megatron considered that.  If there was one thing he could count on, it was Optimus Prime and his incredible consistency.  Megatron knew he could trust his worst enemy a lot further than his own second-in-command.  Prime wouldn’t call for no reason.  Prime wouldn’t call to trick them.  On the other hand it made complete sense that Optimus would have taken in a Decepticon warrior that needed help.  Stupid Autobot.  Foul Play wasn’t important.  They hadn’t even sent back a search party for her when she hadn’t turned up after the battle...and this idiot had obviously spent an entire year of effort and resources taking care of her.

A year...this gave Megatron pause.  They had noticed a few Autobots disappeared around that same time too.  Prime’s son...that annoying triple changer...the pink femme...and Ultra Magnus.  The others Megatron wasn’t too concerned about, although he had been privately hopeful the loss of his son would somehow crack Optimus, but Magnus....

Megatron really hoped Magnus was gone for good.  He would never know the City Commander was currently fighting with all his strength to keep from laughing at Rodimus’ dead-on impression of Megatron’s pompous posturing.  If Megatron could have seen Magnus it might have ended the war right there by giving the Decepticon leader a fatal over-load.

What Megatron could see was that Optimus was now staring at the screen exclusively and was holding his hand up to the side of his face as if blocking a bright light.

“Well?” Optimus prompted.

Megatron took a moment to remember the initial question.  “No.  No Optimus Prime, I have never known you to contact me without reason.  We should meet and do a prisoner exchange.”

“You don’t have any Autobot prisoners to exchange, Megatron,” Optimus pointed out.

“We could arrange for some,” Cyclonus informed him.

Optimus stared at the grave Decepticon.  He gave Optimus the surges and Prime could sense the ‘Con meant exactly what he said.

Optimus hurried to deflect that line of conversation.   “It doesn’t matter.  Foul Play is not really a prisoner.  She is free to go.  Just tell us when and where you want to meet.”

They hammered out a place and time with little difficulty...an abandoned Air Force base south of Metroplex’s current location, the next day, at sunrise.

...:...:...:
...:...:...:
...:...:...:

“I am going to kill both of you!” Optimus decreed.

The laughing hyenas only laughed more.

“Magnus!  I’m going to throw you in detention!” Optimus raged.

“Before or after you kill him?” Rodimus asked brightly.

“I didn’t do anything!” Magnus protested.  “It’s all his fault!”

“Magnus!  I count on you to be...to be..” Optimus started.

“To be a complete stick-in-the-mud?” Rodimus helped.  “To be an anal, unvarying bastard? To be the universe’s ultimate straight man? To be...”

“That’s enough Asshole,” Magnus growled.

Optimus groaned.  “Something like that!  As for you,” Optimus turned on Rodi, then paused.  Rodimus wasn’t really his to discipline but... “You are a Prime!  Surely you know how important that call was!  You wouldn’t treat your partner that way! ....  Would you?”

Rodimus snorted.  “All the time!  Consider it a challenge for your diplomatic ability to keep a neutral expression under extreme duress.  It’s training.  Lancer tests our reflexes and I test your ability to keep a straight face!”

This notion sent Magnus over the edge again.  Only Rodimus could justify being a trouble-maker this way.

Optimus must have been thinking something similar, because he finally cracked and laughed too.

Scene and story excerpt from Maelstrom: Story 33 Conversations

Author's note: This story is part of a LONG series called Maelstrom. It is strictly Gen. 1 - sorry, but that was all that was out when I started writing. If you have not read the nine original Maelstrom Comics and the preceding text stories, I strongly suggest you do.
RATED MATURE FOR VIOLENCE!

For the start of the series: illmatar.deviantart.com/galler…

For this particular scene:

Maelstrom 33 Conversations4 LConversations in the Kitchen
Chapter 4
Part L
Continued from Part K
“I’m never going to get used to this color scheme,” Magnus grumbled to himself.  “You quit smirking Rodimus.  It could be worse.  It could be yours!”
“I’m not going to argue about it,” Rodimus said.  “I think you look good.  You still aren’t as bright as your twin in my universe.”
Magnus grunted assent and stomped towards Prime’s office.  Rodimus grimaced while his mate cussed into his mind.  Magnus had learned a lot about walking quietly from her, and when he first stood up after being changed he had actually been doing pretty well.  Now though he was worried and the “tromp of doom” reverberated down the halls of Metroplex for the first time in almost a year.  Autobots around the base shuddered in fear before they even identified the noise.
Metroplex’s omn

LOOK! My one and only drawing of Starscream!