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ImpCJCaesar β Cannibal Attack!
Published: 2013-10-26 23:20:33 +0000 UTC; Views: 2104; Favourites: 92; Downloads: 37
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Description
And now bite her ear!
I had many ideas for the title, but this one was the best, I think.
Other ideas:
-"Omnom"
-"Treachery"
-"Apple Taste"
-"Appletastic"
-"The Princess and the Damsel"
-"What is she watching?"
-"I'm bored"
-"Twenty frames in a pitch black butchery"
Are you still following me? Hey guys?
Oh no, I did another "cuteness overload" image, didn't I?
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Comments: 375
- Let's just eat all them pies!
- I'm waaaaaaaaay ahead of ya, AJ!
- Literally!
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Good! *plants her face into the pie as well*
...barbarians.
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- *finishes her third pie*
- Whoa...that's like your third pie, AJ! and I'm halfway done w/ my first!
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She eats pies all days, that's why her plot is so beau---
*chokes on pie*
N-nothing
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- Well no matter how much pies, Applejack eats, I can do the same thing!
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I think we have a tie then... who will win? Pinkie... or Applejack?
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- wHY DO I GET TO CHOOSE?!?
- *about to get her seventh pie* I never faced w/ somepony who eats as much as pies as me!
- Me too! Whomever loses, then no hard feelings!*gets her seventh pie as well*
- Exactly!
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See Spike? They won't have hard feelings. Choose!
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you should continue this! (sorry for stalkingΒ ) but it's just really cute! i love it :3
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- Uhhhhh......maybe....
- Yeaaaah?
- Go on.....
- AJ?
- WHOO-WHEE!*wagging her tail* I feel so loved!
- Sorry Pinkie...
- It's okay, Spikey-wikey! No hard feelings remember?
Β Yeah!
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- Me? Having a thing for Rainbow's plot?
- I wouldn't think twice on liking Rainbow like that!
- Okay, maybe a little...but still...
(Fun Fact: Meghan McCarthy made a funny tweet based on today's episode ship tease yay.
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.....
Oh sweet Luna! It's happening!
Ponies eating ponies! Cats and Dogs raining from the sky! The Gates of Tartarus opening wide!
SPIKE WAS RIGHT! IT'S THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE! I HAVE TO FIND THE OTHERS AND MAKE SURE THEY HAVEN'T TURNED TOO! Oh Apps....why'd ya let Dashie turn ya into a zombie?! WHY?!
....though, this is strangely in time with Nightmare Night only a few days away. How did they know?
Anyway, gonna be running in terror now! Might go get something other than mah sword to protect mahself too! *flails arms while running away* Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
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Why is he screaming and running like a mad octopus?
Don't know, but my ear is covered in drool now.
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*not watching where I"m going, ends up running in a circle and crashes into the two of them*
Oh no! I'm totally zombie chow now!
I never thought it'd end this way....*stares at the camera* No seriously, who predicts their end being in a pony zombie apocalypse?
*closes eyes and waits for the end......which never comes*
...that's odd...Ah figured that right about now I'd be getting nommed on by the two of them.
...where's the nomming and moaning and all those other things that are supposed to be happening?
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It's here! *starts to nom on AJ's ear again*
Stahp it!
Welcome Ryan to my photo set!
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*slowly opens eyes, sees Dashie going to town on Apps' ear*
Oh sweet Celestia....if'n Ah had wings I'm pretty sure they'd be pomf-ing right about now.
*blinks, slowly stands up*
Photo set Rares? So....this isn't the pony zombie apocalypse?
Dashie isn't a zombie? She hasn't turned Apps? It's just...her nomming on her ears?
*sighs* Phew, that's a relief! But...
Why is she nomming her ear? What kind of photos are ya taking m'lady?
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Well Ryan, we are making... -excuse me a moment-
Applejack, be a dear and inspect the wall behind you...
*turns around, exposing her posterior to the camera* What is it...
Dash, could you please lick Applejack's tush?
On my way! *licks*
Stahp it!!!
-Sorry, Ryan... we are doing a propaganda calendar for Equestria. We sold all the copies of our "Royal Plot Anthology" the last week, and we thought that this would be a valid way to raise our funds...
Yeah, but the Plot Anthology was bought by just one mare...
But she bought all the copies, and that's what matters.
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Making a....wut?
*just stares at the sight* Ah....Ah.....oh my....
*brain lost to the world* Ah wonder what them apples taste like?
*looks left then right before staring at Rares* Did...did Ah think that or say it m'lady?
*shakes head*
A-anyway. *trying to calm down some*
A calendar huh? That's always a good way to drum up some funds.
As for the..."Royal Plot Anthology"?
Hmmm, I was gonna say I hadn't even heard about that but the damsel just answered as to why.
*rolls eyes, smirks* One mare buying all of them? Oh heavens, Ah have the weirdest feeling I know who that might've been....but why all of them?
Such a silly pony she is.
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Apples, Ryan... you didn't just think that!
Excuse me one moment again... Applejack darling, could you please watch that thing on the roof..?
*turns arouns to face Rarity* Ah ain't fallin' fer this anymore!
Now!
e *kisses Applejack on the cheek, causing her massive blush*
As I was saying, darling, if you want a copy of the Royal Plots Anthology you'll have to talk with the friend of yours!
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Oh dammit. *grumbles*
Stupid sexy mares being all entrancing....grumble, grumble.
*slowly dusts self off and stands up....only ta see the next situation*
Oh come on!
Y'all ain't fair on a guy here!
How am Ah supposed to stand up to all this action happening right here like this?
*motions at Dashie and Apps*
Especially when it involves those two!
It's not fair Ah tell ya, not fair!
...and yes m'lady, Ah suppose Ah'll have to.
Either way, Ah think the calendar is gonna sell out just like the RPA did.
Though if'n I want a copy fer mahself, Ah reckon I'll have to beat out T-Fire...
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My my, Ryan, you are so sensitive... Well, now we are going to do the summer months and I'm sure you know how much are imprtant... we don't want any leaks about them, so l'm sorry, but you'll have to go now! *wink*
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Yeah, yeah, tease the guy that gets flustered easily.
*sticks tongue out and winks* Haha, but yes...those summer months are quite crucial and....
Wait! In mah world it's because of swimsuits for these kinds of calendars but y'all don't wear clothing here so how does that work?
*scratches head* Mah brain kind of hurts now...
Anyway, yes, Ah'll uh, let y'all get to it...and go rest mah emotions a bit.
If'n Ah see anymore, Ah don't know if mah poor ticker can take it. Haha.
*goes to leave...wondering for what reason Rares winked at me. Huh...Ah'm sure she was tryin' ta tell me something without lettin' those two know...but for the life of me Ah'm not sure what that is. Hmmm....*
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*outside the Carousel*
*looking through a window* Uhmm... yeah, this calendar is going to be... spectacular...
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*gets no more than one leg out of the boutique and sees T-Fire*
*rolls eyes, picks her up, and then starts carrying her away*
All clear Rares!
*with that done, heads off away so they can have their private photo shoot in peace*
*gets to the park and sets her down*
So then Thunder Fire, tell me...what we're ya doing?
And what's this Ah hear about you and whole lotta copies of a certain anthology?
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LET ME DOWN YOU BIG... *gets set down*
What, can't I have a hobby? And I bought all those copies because... oh well, it's none of your business, mister! Unless... you are interested in one... *winks, then slowly and suggestively canters around you* Did the big boy get caught in naughty thoughts?
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(Oh God it's happening isn't it? XD)
Well, no, ya can have a hobby...but usually what yer doing, most people would call stalking.
Hahaha, Ah can figure as to why ya bought all them copies but....
Gah!
*blushes slightly* Wha-wha-wha-what?!
*watches her slowly walking towards me*
M-me? Naughty thoughts? That's....that's just ridiculous T-Fire.
Ah mean...it's so silly it needs ta wear a silly hat!
Hahaha....ha....ha.....Ah may or may not have said something about apples and tasting them but.....
Hey! Stop grinning like that! Ah said stop! Stop! Stop!
*wings that like to pick and choose when they appear suddenly show themselves on mah back and very slightly pomf out*
....that means absolutely nothing!
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*laugh softly* My dear silly Ryan, you can't hide this things from me! I know you want the RPA... and you can have it. Just come with me at my place! *begins to trot there* Or are you afraid of showing your wingspan? You could fly! *sticks out tongue before swaying her hips*
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*sighs*
Ah'm beginning to notice Ah can't.
*mumbles*
Yeah, a copy would be nice....Ah suppose...
Very well, Ah'll follow ya. Gah!
*frowns* Ah am not afraid of showing mah wingspan! And Ah could fly!
...I just don't wanna make ya feel bad since ya have difficulties with it.
*eyes widen at her shaking hips, wings pomf out a little more*
*shakes head, slaps self* Focus Ryan! Focus!
*follows alongside her, trying not to think on things that would make the situation even worse*
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Don't worry, just fly. I'm not offended by that, it happens all around me. Don't look at me like that! I won't move until you start beating those wings.
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...are ya sure? Ah mean...Ah wouldn't want ta....
*smriks* Well, okay. If'n ya say so T-Fire...but Ah think ya just wanna see mah full plumage again.
*takes a deep breath, flaps wings and hovers off the ground slightly next to her before following after her when she starts up again*
Ya know...Ah reckon physics must be all weird here if a creature as large as me is capable of flight like this.
Ah mean, Ah guess mah wings are large enough and such to support mah weight...
*deadpans* And now Ah'm sounding like T-Sparks...great.
*facepalms*
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Uhm, never heard of magic? It affects everything in Equestria and probably helps you fly right now. The wingspan per weight ratio in birds are very weird considering that pegasi can fly with smaller wings. And considering that even Snowflake can fly... Also. Calculating the mass of an average pegasus, we can deduce the flux of magical vis necessary for... *continues with technical explanations you really can't get for two minutes, then stops and looks at you* What? Do you think I'm just the plot mare? I studied at the library for months about flight techniques. That's because I can't fly... umpf...
Let's change subject, how is it going with Applejack?
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*sort of just listlessly floating in the air after all that techno-babble of a sorts*
...huh? Wha?
*shakes head, smirks*
Heh, well it seems yer capable of plot of another matter entirely.
*laughs loudly*
*winks at her* But yer dedication and determination is pretty admirable T-Fire. You'll get it eventually.
*wings spread wide at the mention of AppleJack before I fall the few feet into the ground*
To answer, sort of like that.
...she just seems oblivious to the things Ah say. Ah haven't gathered enough courage ta just up and confess to her yet....and with the whole Princess thing going on Rares has her and Dashie busy with a whole buncha stuff so Ah haven't really found the time ta tell her either.
*slowly gets back up off ground*
The others....they're pretty aware of how Ah feel but Ah'm glad they're being respectful and trying not to meddle too much.
*narrows eyes*
Though that hasn't stopped Rarity and T-Sparks from teasing me about it. Heh.
*scratches back of head and laughs softly*
Ah reckon with her Ah may just have ta be direct about it soon and hope she understands and doesn't think Ah'm talking about something else entirely. Haha...
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*smiles at your scratching* Well, good luck in surviving the blush radiations if you are direct... I am sure you'll get to her eventually, she's just having some stuff to do as a Princess. She sleeps three hours per night if she's lucky... I know that because I'm their cameramare, did you know that? Sadly I'm not allowed to take photos for their calendars... *sigh*
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Yeah, that's fer sure T-Fire.
Heh.
*nods* Ah know, it's just a matter of findin' the right moment. She's pretty busy now, so it's not exactly a good time ta be worryin' about this.
....though Ah do kind of worry that with her being a Princess now she might get some more attention...probably of the male and female persuasion...and Ah worry that somepony else might jump in there before Ah get mah moment.
Hmmm? Oh! So yer the cameramare taking all that footage and stuff.
*grins* Ah thought Ah recognized that sleepy mumbling in the background when they were talking to ya. Haha.
Oh, hey...come on! Buck up! *pats her shoulder* The calendar will be worth the wait, so in the meanwhile....
*smirks, whispers* How's about ya show me the other haul ya got?
Ah'm rather curious just what m'lady Rares came up with in this anthology of theirs.
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Oh yeah, I saw a lot of blushing recently, it's a surprise I never went *pomf* yet. But don't worry, it's just teasing until now.
Sleepy mumbling... you don't have any idea of how hard is keeping the camera steady and straight when your eyes are closing...
Oh yeah, here we are. *you arrive at a very damaged looking house. The inside is full of books. Surprisingly none of them is of a certain kind of topic* Home sweet home.
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*laughs* Yeah, ah figured as much but it's just something that'll happen with her having all these new fans and such.
Ya know, that comment about holding the camera straight brings up a really good question Ah didn't think about too much:
How in tarnation are ya holding that camera? Ah mean...Ah've seen some of the photo cameras that sit around a pony's neck but Ah can't say Ah've ever seen one wearing a film camera.
...is there some special trick like how y'all hold things with yer hooves even though technically ya shouldn't be able to?
*snickers* Or is this another "magic did it" thing? Haha.
Hmmm, yer home looks a little different from the last time Ah visited. You seem to have been a bit busy.
Lots of books too...doing some reading are we? Heh.
Though....might Ah ask...did yer house suffer some damage recently? Was it that storm that came through?
....or something even more random?
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Oh, the camera is tied to my neck and chest... It also has a little monitor just before my eyes from which I can see what I'm recording. Before my mouth I have the zoom controls. I can then use my wings to turn it around without me moving the head and a hoof to turn it on and off. Needless to say, it was Twilight to create it.
I do like to read, so it's not strange to find some books around my house. They are mine, not from the library, in case you are wondering... Well, it's been a loooong season. The storm, the giant dog, a sonic rainboom too close to my house, a piano, a seal and I still haven't repaired Discord's damages.
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Haha, leave it ta T-Sparks to create something like that.
It's certainly a creative way to get around the whole "no-hands" thing.
Well, Ah'm not saying it's strange it's just...
*grins, rubs back of head* Ah mean, with how ya are, Ah didn't think ya read books that weren't, ya know, about a certain...topic.
So yer a secret bookworm then, huh? That's cute.
*taps foot, thinks* There certainly has been a lot of things that happened in the last few months, especially that bit with Disky. Too bad he was so intent on causing trouble, his kind of randomness is something awesome if he wasn't making everypony miserable with it.
To be honest, it's kind of crazy how intense things get here in Ponyville.
Certainly more so than any city Ah lived in back on mah Earth anyhow.
...but...a seal? How did a seal of all things get this far in-land? The nearest ocean is like...a few days by train away!
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I'm not a secret bookworm, Ryan, ponies just don't see that part of me!
As for the seal, Fluttershy's cottage is just two minutes. And she saw that seal catch ten feet of air when he breaches the water.
Now, here's the Anthology... *hands you a copy*
Please, mind the pomf.
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...uh, T-Fire, Ah hate ta tell ya but when somepony doesn't see something and doesn't know something about a pony, that's basically a secret.
Hahaha.
*thinks about it*
Oh yeah...that's right...her crazy gravity defying seal.
...she finds the most gifted animals doesn't she?
*takes the Anthology*
Oh now come on...as if a silly little book would really make me lose mah cool thatβ
*flips open to a random page, eyes widen*
Huh, never knew Rares was so gifted with the angle shots and....oh my.
*half-pomf*
...okay, so maybe the book has an effect.
Though I have to ask...why did ya buy all of them? Wouldn't one be enough?
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It has great effects, so don't look at it too much.
Ehm... I bought all the copies because... I suppose that since you are my friend I can tell you... go to page 23.
*in said page, a really impressive photo of a cyan plot*
Ryan? Stop looking at that and watch in the background.
*in a window in the background you see the face of a certain yellow pegasus with a drooly expression*
Now, Ryan... as long as I don't mind too much about my public image, I find some shame in letting this kind to be shared between ponies.
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*blushes* Yeah, Ah'm noticing that it does.
*flips to said page, gets a faceful of Dashie's pretty posterior*
*wings pomf a bit more*
Hmmmm...okay, okay. *looks and sees...*
Thunder Fire...is...is that you?
*nods* Ah can see now why ya would but....well Ah suppose yer safe as long as Rares doesn't decide to print up a second run of them.
She seems focused on the calendar but since Ah don't want ya ta have to spend all yer money to avoid a potential shock of public image perhaps Ah can find a way ta get this image edited slightly.
Though trying to dance around the issue might be difficult, Rares is pretty smart after all. Well, Ah'll keep an ear open and do what Ah can if needed for mah dear friend T-Fire.
*flips pages a bit more, wings go full on pomf at page Ah stopped on...gulps and immediately closes book*
Well then....Ah didn't know that ya could make applesauce so...appealing. *gulps again*
Wooo...is it just me or is it warm in here? Hahaha...ha...
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*from behind your shoulder, where she was watching the pages* I-it's not just you... ehm... how about I get a cold shower? In the meanwhile you could... ehm... *watches around her half-destroyed house* ...make yourself confortable...
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*laughs sheepishly*
Uhm...sure...Ah suppose that's not an issue.
*looks about*
Right...comfortable.
*watches her leave, looks at the mess*
Goodness me, how does one mare get so messy?
*huffs, sighs before smiling and starts tidying up since there isn't much else Ah can do till she's done*
So many books not in order, so much...fast food wrappers? That can't be too healthy...
*picks up a random picture and dismisses it for a moment before double-taking and gasps*
...wha...what in tarnation? Is that....me? Why does she have this? Better yet, why are mah pants missing....? When was this taken....?
*looks around nervously*
...and by who....? *folds up picture and pockets it before looking around nervously again and returning to cleaning up*
Probably best Ah just ignore that...
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*after the shower*
There much better, much more lucid. I'm a cold machine.
*gasps* What... what happened here?! It's all... in order?
And I feel that something... is quite missing. But in this order I can't identify it.
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*chilling out on the couch*
Oh hey there T-Fire!
Ah hope ya don't mind but Ah just couldn't stand lookin' at how messy ya let yer house get so...Ah did a little tidyin' up.
Hahaha...*grins sheepishly* So, uh, does it look good? Ah wasn't really sure where or how everythin' was supposed to go so Ah just did mah best to put it in order.
And missing? Shouldn't be...Ah didn't thrown anythin' away. Oh! Except for the fast-food wrapper and empty potato chip bags anyway.
You really shouldn't leave garbage lying around like that hon, you could attract bugs.
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Well of course I do, because I eat them for breakfast.
*laughs at your expression*
Ryan, you are very naive... but thank you anyway for your work.
How do you think to trick Rarity and cut me out of the original photo?
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...Ah swear, you always pull the silliest things on me, T-Fire.
*rolls eyes*
Yeah, yeah, let's all pick on the human. "Hahaha, he'll believe anything his friends tell him!"
*sticks tongue out at her before getting serious*
Yer welcome hon but as for tricking Rares....*makes a thinking face*
This is going to require a lot of thoughts. If only Ah could get to the negative somehow and alter it...but there's no way something that precious would just be lying about.
Nor would she let just anypony near it. Ah might be in tight with her but this whole Princess stuff has been a little more secret-secret.
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How about you distract them and I enter and search for the negative?
Or the other way around?
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A distraction?
*thinks it over*
That's just crazy enough to work....and oh heavens, Ah think Ah came up with an idea.
...but this idea might get me into some sticky situation hijinx with them.
Considering they're probably still taking photos for that calendar, Ah'm pretty sure if'n Ah "stole" her camera the three of them would be pretty livid and give chase.
Probably all the while wondering what's gotten into me but....if Ah can just stay ahead of them, you should have enough time to find it.
The problem lies in two things: one with Rares' magic and two with how quick Apps and Dashie can be. Rares magic should be easy enough to shake off since it's more refined in her tailoring rather than more weaponized spells like T-Sparks is. Which just leaves me to outrun two of the fastest ponies around.
*shrugs* Should be simple enough....Luna and Celestia help me if/when Ah get caught by them though.
*shivers* Ah'm not sure what they'd do to get back at me but...Ah don't think Ah'd be happy with it. Hahaha...ha.
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