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Ishdakitty — Touch WIP
Published: 2007-04-18 18:03:52 +0000 UTC; Views: 393; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 3
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Working on getting people to look like people. Another of John-117 and Halley-292. I like the look of the thing, but I'll prolly keep screwing with it till it loses whatever it's got already...I dunno. Actually opening the floor to advanced critique this time, I actually intend to follow through with this, even if it means inking and thereby ruining it.
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Comments: 18
I found you, and your profile, through a link on Mike Westfall's site and I thought I'd toss in my 2 cents as an artist because hey, Halo, awesome. The drawing is good times so far, but there are some minor issues with it. Halley's breasts are the number one issue I have with it so far. You're a woman so I'm not going to pretend to know more about them than you would, but I do know about drawing them.
Breasts follow the line of the armpit, curving down and around to near the center of the chest. However, Halley's breasts are lined up with her shoulder. That is literally impossible and it gives the drawing an odd look. They should be much lower to look more natural. Also, as I doubt she's wearing a bra, they should convey weight more. They are heavy bags of fat and should hang as such.
Another point is MC's head. It is too flat on top. The natural curvature of the human skull would actually pass out of the top of his hair as is. Luckily, this is an easy fix on your part, just add more hair. That type of buzz cut tends to actually slope down from the apex of the skull, following the curve of the skull, not go totally flat across the top of the head. Just changing it a little bit will help loads.
The last thing isn't so much something that should be changed as it is personal preference. It is assumed that Halley is strong, she is a Spartan after all. You don't have to prove she's strong by adding things like six packs. Strong muscle tone on women can, note that I said 'can' and not 'always', destroy the femininity of a character. In a love story, that's not something you want to do really. I'd recommend checking out scans from comic books by Marvel or DC to get an idea of how to give women the appearance of strength without over doing it.
Well, that's it. Other than all that ranting, I really like where this is going!
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Thanks, that's awesome!! I really want the crit on this one, I'm playing around with the details and I'll try to work those in.
I'm a much better writer than sketch artist, but that excuse can only hold up so long. This'll get bumped back to a scrap once the second scan is up. Thanks for taking the time to give advice. I may be a woman, but I'm not winning any "big chest" competitions...I didn't really think "heavy bags of fat" and I think that'll be useful to keep in mind in the future.
And men....bah, I just can't draw men, lol. I'll fix the hair, though. <3
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No problem, I saw a lot of promise, especially in the faces, so I thought I'd just help out if I could.
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I'll be uploading the edited version later tonight...and I really like how it turned out with your suggestions.
lawl, and it inspired my journal entry for the day...
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halley's arm looks a little stiff to me.. maybe bend it at the elbow just a tiiiiny bit?
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As always, I can count on Kar for the good pointers.
I'll play around with that today. I didn't even notice it till you pointed it out.
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This looks great!
I think you've done a nice job in setting everything in proportion and I like how they've been posed
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Thanks.
I saw the pose on a calendar at work, and tried to emulate it.
I should use referances more often.
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Man, that's one of the most accurate depictions of the Chief I've seen that doesn't turn him into some sort of anime bishie. NICE! XD
Also, who's Halley-292?
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My fan fic character...she's a "beta" Spartan from the "second class" that dosen't exist in the actual cannon. They have a...thing. It's a really long fic, honestly, and it's still in progress. My writing, by the way, is LIGHTYEARS better than my drawing...I'm an author first and a sketch artist second. Chapters 1-10 are already in my gallery if you're bored...
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Sweet! I'll check it out today!
I have two Halo OCs, each meant for different purposes. My first OC is the leader of an ODST fireteam, who in my fic (which I haven't started yet) are in charge of retrieving Cortana from the Flood-infested High Charity, or destroy her; his name is Corporal Lucas Ramirez. My second OC is more along the lines of yours, since he's a cryo-frozen Spartan-I, from the original Project ORION; his name, if I recall correctly, was Max-13, with no zero. Spartan-IIs consisted of 150 original trainees, while in my version of the Spartan-Is, there were only 50.
If you wanna know more, you can send me a note. I love Halo-talk. ^_^
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Hehe...I had a whole beta class after the first ones graduated, their ID numbers going from 151-300...essensially, the second set. I tried to make it as plausable as possible.
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That sounds extremely plausible, especially since that's what they did with the Spartan-IIIs... even though they were made to be expendable. The whole purpose of the Spartan project in general, aside from making supersoldiers, was to test genetic enhancements on "volunteers" anyway, so I figured that Spartan-Is were the ones in which the enhancements for the Spartan-IIs were tested on, and from their experiences with the Spartan-Is, they would see which enhancements are safe, and which aren't, and such, so for all anyone knows, Max-13 (I figured it'd be hilarious that one of the few survivors of the program is unlucky number 13) could have some fatal enhancements from the Spartan-I program that the Spartan-IIs don't have. *shrugs* Sometimes I talk too much, I can shut up if you want. 
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draconicdreams@comcast.net IS my version of AIM at work...and I love discussing it.
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Sweet! Well my AIM is puertorican12187, my Yahoo is... puertorican12187, and my MSN is... >.> puertorican12187@hotmail.com
I know, my creativity is boundless... >.>
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Only problem with this that I have is that in the books they say John is all pale and wrinkley due to the fact he's always in his armour...
Other than that... Awsome work!
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Wrinkley? Pale, yes, they get no sun....but where do you get wrinkly from?
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Book...
Read the book!
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