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joelashimself — MLP FIM 'The forgotten element' Chapter 1-6
Published: 2012-06-15 19:15:02 +0000 UTC; Views: 12713; Favourites: 145; Downloads: 104
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For the full experience, listen to thissong while reading Shining's speech: [link] (Fixed)
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Comments: 98
When I finished reading the words to the song came on. Perfect song good sir.
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Unfortunate number of typos: First panel - *Endured
Second - *Eternal, at least, I think you put Eturnal, I may be misreading. *Chaos
Aside from Endure again later, that was it.
Them aside, this was pretty sweet
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Where would I be without my beloved cadre of grammar police?
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This is great so far.
Do you know what though?
Whenever I read "beacon" I always end up reading it as "bacon"
I can't stop giggling now reading the end of Armor's speech. I'm sorry.
But anyway this is great so far, the speech is brilliant and I am looking forward to more.
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Ooooohhhh peptalk from Shining Armor Captain of The Royal Guard
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There is this guy. He goes by the name Winston Rowntree. His motto: Comix with too many words since 2007.
It seems that you and he have something in common! (Really, though, that's a compliment. His work is awesome.)
I love how you had the speech interspersed with fitting cuts to the audience. Nice assortment of background ponies you've created here.
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It's wrong to be german and say this, but "indure" doesn't exist. Was that supposed to be "endure"?
Bottom left text bubble, third line from bottom, far right.
Okay, admitted, I didn't get the crying face middle right.
Furthermore I find the "veteran" with that style of hatwear controversal, but I can brush that away saying it is a functional means. Just won't work good with less educated non-Americans who don't know about american military history and/or veteran day and so on.
And yes, youtube link was blocked for german IPs, of course, as they made youtube responsible to check EVERY video uploaded for licensed music/material ever uploaded and ever being uploaded. That's the german government for ya! Worry about youtube, when Egypt still has no proper government and greece prolly will fall out of measurements to be called a state itself even. Way to go solving important matters!
/rant about old people being afraid of technology.
Yet I listened to the song, for I have means to bypass these blocks.
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Right on man.
Well, in regards to the retired soldier pony, I'm an army veteran myself, and what he's wearing is called a garrison cap. I used to wear one just like it. The crossed arrows on top indicate that he was special forces. the eagle wings below indicate that he was part of an airborne unit. Nothing Reich-ish about it.
Also the crying pony to the lower right is crying because she's moved by Shining's passion. She likely lost someone dear in the recent struggles.
I hope that clears a few things up.
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Yeah it does.
Actually, as the german among us, I didn't think of any "Reich-ish" here. Sure I am no pro on american history or military, but I know my fair share, if I might say.
Nevertheless, I only served obligatory time in the german air force (infantry, nothing fancy), so big respect to you for being a veteran.
So long 'til the next page!
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Auf wiedersehen!
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Okay, the word love being said over and over again is clearly foreshadowing, so I think that the evil guy in the prologue was a Changeling, possibly the King avenging the death of his Queen.
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Lol, death of QC, that's a good one.
No but seriously what makes you think she's dead? Not only would the actual show-runners not kill her for reals, but she was clearly conscious when knocked away and possesses the ability of flight.
Unless you're just throwing out suggestions and don't really think she's dead either...
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Yeah, I don't wanna to accidentally spoil but...
...
...
...
...
...
don't look
....
...
Make a list of canon character who would want revenge on Twilight Sparkle.
Scratch Trixie off the list because she is accounted for, and she can't appear as someone else.
Discord can impersonate people, surely, but he is encased in stone.
To be coy about it:
As I said in the prologue comments, the Traveler's name should be, "Says Charli", and something about anagrams.
And the Lieutenant Commander's acting fishy.
P.S. Author "Joel", if we are barking up the right tree here, please don't change the story just to surprise us. I don't want to ruin it and wasn't sure about posting this. Like the comic, drawing style is nice, good use of panels to show Cadence and Shining re-enact your description.
Actual Spoiler:
It turns out it was Gilda wearing a Pony costume all along.
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Wow. This prediction is both nonsensical and silly. I really hope you aren't serious.
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Don't worry. I've got the whole thing set in stone already. I won't be deviating from it if you figure something out.
Just keep your eyes peeled for subtleties, I might sneak some stuff into the bacground!
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Whooo! Pretty sweet. Can't wait for the other pages.
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Read while listening to the song. Needless to say, manly tears have been shed.
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That speech also applies to Bronies, I figure. at least, that's how I see it.
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Wow. Just wow. However, a comment; that wasn't the song I heard while Shining was making his speech. I heard "Glory, Glory to the Red Team" as a mysterious flag appeared behind him.
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Was this before or after the wedding?
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Sorry about this, but "indured" is probably suppose to be "endured", "eturnal" should be "eternal", "chaoss" should be "chaos", and "us the strength indure" should be "us the strength 'to' endure". Besides that, this was a very inspirational addition to the story, especially considering it was from the heart, inspired upon seeing his special someone. The reason I went all "GrammarBrony" is because I believe the few errors distract a little from the speech, and overall take away a bit of the impact. Feel free to take or leave my corrections, they're just there to be helpful. Keep up the great work, I'm really enjoying this comic!
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Oh, it's fine. I've never been known for my grammar. Sheets of paper don't have auto correct, heheh.
I'm glad you like the comic!
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Congratulations you manage to achieve GREATNESS BEYOND POSSIBILITY!!!
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FUCK YEA i'm gona join to the pony army
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Congratulations, you made Shining BA. He is now second best stallion.
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That combo, brought me close to manly tears. Great job.
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Reminds me of the Charlie Chaplin speech, love it!
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~Hi, I'm Sarah McGauchlin (sp.?) and with your donation of 2 bits and wots of wubs, you can help feed a poor, starving Changeling... As a bonus you will recieve a t-shirt, keycychain, AND a totally useless magazine subscription...~
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That speech plus the music... That was powerful
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Pretty darn good speech and, as always, loving their expressions.
Only thing I'd point out is the pacing and density of the text. Maybe spreading the last speech bubbles throughout a second page? And, on the enumeration of the elements, putting each sentence in its own bubble? Of course, this is me being just a bit nitpicky, but it's definitely something I'd suggest keeping in mind for future pages
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Good suggestions man.
I woke up at 4AM this morning with this on my mind. I kind of crammed it all into one page, because that's how it was in my head at the time.
Maybe I'll wait until I'm fully awake next time.
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Glad I could be of help
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Meaningful speech, this one. It blends the Elements of Harmony into the unity of Love in a really interesting way. That Shining Armor is quite an orator!
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OMG veteran pony!!! war is a game played by powerfull people yet dumb ones. sry had to quote that
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An excellent follow-up to the previous strip :3
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That sir was a great speech!!! I shed manly tears.....
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That... ....was.... BEATUIFULLL!!!!!!
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Very powerful speech. I liked how you included the elements of harmony as aspects of love. The emotions and expressions really carry out the feeling. I also love how you turn the show just a bit darker by including death openly, even when the show has shown a hint of it (the perfect stallion song).
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