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Mojo-Arrogance — Reflection
Published: 2008-10-19 22:48:30 +0000 UTC; Views: 1649; Favourites: 28; Downloads: 23
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Judges's choice 1st Place for 's "What is your inner demon?" Contest [link]"There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter. "
Ernest Hemingway said that... He knew my demon well.
To most this picture may not make a whole lot of sense, to any who have made a living behind the scope of an M-40, it should be painfully intuitive. You see, camoflauge face paint comes in several different application types. My favored was the three- colored 'cami-compact' as it comes with a mirror. That was until the day late in my last tour overseas that I glimpsed a reflection of something that should not be.
I have since returned to civilian life, and in the intervening years I find many things falling back into a context that I would define as normal. But every once in a while, that demon reminds me of what we were... and what we did.
Comment as you will, but remember:
Do not pity me, for I regret nothing.
Do not fear me, for I never fired on an innocent.
Do not hate me, for I still beileve that I served a greater good.
Do not love me; for death was my demon in that place. Yet in the end I was spared to return home when others were not... and for that I still have not forgiven him.
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Comments: 55
Yeah, gotta love pencils. I've gotten to the point where just the smell of graphite and wood gets me stoked. You know what I'm talking about...
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Rifle, as to be distinct from a shotgun or machine gun; but I know what you mean, and thank you very much.
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Ah, apologies, my knowledge of firearms is limited to 'it looks like a gun = gun'.
You're very welcome.
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lol! minor details my friend. 
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this is great work. nice detail and good job on the camo ornaments which i assume cut down on glare and ur profile. not gonna debate whether right or wrong to blast people over neo-colonialism and the toll it takes on the psyche of the sharpshooter as u must know this intimately. great work.
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Thank you, and for the favorite. I'll not comment on the toll either, many gave much more than I... As to what they gave it for, it all comes down to what we believe, eh?
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yeah i know ptsd is a very real deal. every day is a struggle sometimes to find meaning. good work regardless!
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This is truly amazing, as you will see in my comment on your profile, I plan on becoming a Marine sniper.
I really would have no way of knowing what you have dealt with while being a sniper.
But it really makes me think about what I will have to deal with if I become one.
But it doesnt bother me. This picture just makes me proud that there are good men out there in the world, who would take on such a demanding profession for their country.
Most people would run the other direction if they knew what inner demons most snipers carry with them.
I love this piece of work.
If anything it has inspired me to continue following my dream to become a Marine Sniper.
Semper Fi.
Jake
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Good. Then I will not bother with the standard 'be careful what you wish for' warning. I know exactly what you are looking forward too, as I expected the same when I was your age. I will not attempt to discourage you, in fact I commend your patriotism and fortitude. Were I 20 again, I'd do it all again in a heart-beat. Just keep in mind that there is a price, a price that I'm still learning the the full extent of.
As a test I ask that you try this: From now until the day you enlist, every stranger you meet; ask yourself if you could kill this person if you had to. Age, race, gender, these things don't matter. It doesn't matter if you get to know the person, or even if you like the person. You must be able to mentally convert those around you to nothing more than a target. Once satisfied that you could do so, I want you to think of how you would acomplish it. Ask yourself: If this person was my target, how would I hunt and then kill them?
If you can do this religously for months on end and still feel completely comfortable or at least numb enough to sleep at night then I would expect you to have a long and defining career as a Hunter of Gunmen. The demons can wait.
Marines are a breed apart, born to the task; may it be what you hope. Sincere thanks for the comment and I wish you nothing but the best. I am proud that people still aspire to fight for something greater than themselves.
Semper Fi, and good hunting!
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okay how about this? Starting today, december 19th 2008 at 5pm eastern time, I will carry around a small pad and i will pick 5 people i see (on the days I go out) and put down what they looked like, where i saw them, and how i chose to kill them.
and ill send you my logs?
you can let me know how i do
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lol! More of a mental exercise, my friend. You get caught writing something like that down and you'll be too busy running from cops to chat with me...
If you are seriously interested in advice, note me. I'd be more than happy to talk about it.
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aha good point =] My dad is a cop so if he saw that, he would be like WTF? haha. sorry i just really wanna succeed at this. and I'll do anything to do it. But I will definitely do this mental exercise.
But yes please give me ANY advice you would like to give me. I used to be in contact with a Marine sniper while he was in iraq. But hes back in the states now and we have lost touch. Probably because he's busy with his family.
But anything you wanna tell me I'd be gad to learn.
thank you for taking your time to talk to me. It means alot
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Detail, detail, detail. Its amazing how much you can get in there with just one medium.
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Thank you very much. It is greatly appreciated.
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wonderful drawing, Sir!
I'm well into thought about it, and about how or what would go through the minds of those who serve, it makes me respect people like you even more.
If I could from here, behind my computer, I would. I would shake your hand and thank you.
You, Sir, have my respect.
(and fav'd)
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Thank you. For the comments, the faves, the 
I did what I did, a tiny piece of the puzzle. We do what we do. We are all a part of something greater than self, and as long as we remember that, some things will always be worth fighting for.
I would most definately shake your hand. Know that the respect is mutual.
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Congrats for being one of the top 20 finalists in 's Inner Demon Contest. Excellent work Mojo!
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Thankyou! And to you, congrats! Great job!
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That's one impressive piece you have here, all the more that it comes from personal experience.
I'm glad you chose to return home when you saw the demon - I think it shows your humanity...
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Thank you very much for the comment. I have seen those bereft a decent shred of humanity. I used to hunt them. And I pray that you are right.
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Would you pray for that if I weren't right? Don't think so
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If I'm not allowed to pity, fear etc., am I allowed to respect you? This is an amazing piece of artwork, and the amount of detail is incredible. It's especially good seeing how close you are to the subject... you really haven't held back!
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Thank you. Very kind of you. The subject was close enough that I feared that I could not do it justice. But comments like yours make me feel that it was successful on at least some small level. Many thanks.
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This piece is powerful something that can happen only when you let and can show your emotions through a piece. It's more then a lovely drawing it has a strong feeling behind it. I want to say thank you for sharing it.
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Thank you. For the fave as well. Art is indeed the most constructive emotional outlet that I have ever been able to find. Thank you for being willing to share in them.
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The level of detail here is astounding... the feeling in it is great too! The reflection in the camo-pack is very unsettling, and I like how the eye is drawn to that. This may seem odd... but my favorite part is the cloth wrapped around the gun. No idea why... I also like the square "weave" in the fabric about the shoulders. A great description as well!
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Thank you very much. I wasn't sure if it is what you had in mind, but I've wanted to draw this image for a couple of years now and it was your contest that prompted me to finally do it.
The scarf was actually made out of an old OD green laundry bag; kept the burlap and hemp from itching and rubbing your neck raw... I was pretty pround of how that turned out in the drawing, thank you for noticing.
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I know it is always arguable when something is wrong, when something is right, and what something is that something. There is a portuguese expression that says "quem passa por elas é que sabe". This sentence means that is the person going through a given situation who knows why it did or didn't do something or why reacted this or that way. We, people in general create a moral shell around us which is far more false than our "real" moral. Many people are bastions of certain things exactly because they don't have to go through those things. I don't pretend to know what someone in a war thinks, feels or even what I'd do in those situations. I know I have decided things that are contrary to my personality in work situations for instance, because I had no other (smart) choice, so...
I have talked to people that were in combat on our overseas war, some 30+ years ago and one thing I know from all of them; the man they are is not the man who went.
As far as the drawing goes, it's getting the least attention, but it's extremely well done, and I can almost read sadness and aceptance on that face looking in the mirror, as if saying, I didn't choose to become this, but this is what I must be.
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Thank you very much for your thoughts, Val. You're right, in the end we are human- and invariably we do what we feel we must. A person who was unchanged by combat would be a fearful thing, indeed.
As for not getting much attention, I actually find that kind of poetic. Fitting, right? But as long as a few people see it and honestly ask themselves what IS worth fighting for, then I'm satisfied.
The sadness is there, but I also wanted to show a longing- as my intent was more to say; I did choose to become this and for a time reveled in it. Now I must live with it, alone. Death would be easier.
Melodramatic stuff, right? I apologize for that, but genuinely thank you for taking the time to think for yourself and share those great thoughts.
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Death is never an answer for anything. It may be easier, it may be faster, but it's no answer. I believe that it is our duty to live with the choices we make. If we think they were wrong, then we must do what we can to make amends anyway possible. If we believe they were right, then we must hold on to that belief and be confortable with that.
But i do get what you're saying.
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Roger that, bro. It took some time, but eventually I came to the same conclusion. You've a good head on your shoulders, courage is your nature, and I thank you for caring enough to comment.
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I'll admit, I faved this for the words as much as the art. I've always said that your work with American war Icons is always the most passionate. It translates in a personal way that forces the viewer to relate to something they may have never ,and probably will never experience. That's a gift you give us. Thanks for being honest with it.
Like many of us, all my grandparents served in the wars. This piece echos their stories passed down to me in a very surreal, sobering way. They never glorified or diminished war, it is what it is. There is only one truth, and the soldiers are the only ones that can tell it.
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Thanks my friend; I'm glad that this piece resonated in some small way. I'm often hesitant to share experiences from the past but in doing so I've discovered a couple things: I invariably feel more at ease with the past and the people around me (even those I have never met in person yet) once they know where I'm coming from.
If people will think about it at all, then thats good enough for me; what they believe after that is up to them. Your grandparents are wise people, indeed. I can not think of a better descriptive word for war than 'sobering'. As for truth, I'm hoping that comes with time...
In any case, thanks for thinking, and listening, bud. It means more than you know.
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I'm glad. I hope people realize when they read serious, personal experiences from anyone, like this, that humility is important. It slows you from giving your opinion and making a fool of yourself. How arrogant some are that judge, yet have no real life experiences to give validity to their judgments. What can we expect though, this world force feeds us opinions and tells us who to judge just as if it was in the air we breath. No one wants to think for themselves, and why? When it's so much easier for them to think for us. You've seen a reality, a truth that no one can ever take away from you. No one can tell you it isn't that bad, or that it didn't happen the way you saw it. You went threw the looking glass and you can't go back, and I can see in you the strength, threw humility, that only that kind of experience can give. I'm glad it made you stronger, gave you perspective, a love for life. I know to many others that it crushed and twisted.
Sorry to ramble on like that.
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I have to admit, part of me was morbidly curious to see if someone was willing to voice condemnation over a piece like this. Kind of a test to see where people's passions lie in regards to something as polarizing as war. It would seem that I choose friends well, or at least fortunately, as everyone so far has seemed very supportive and sincere. I don't reach much more of an audience than that, and thats just fine for me.
You know, I have friends like those you described- crushed, they simply never recover from their experiences, for any number of reasons. I was advised to find new passions in life, set goals, drive forward rather than spend all my time looking back. It was some of the best advice I ever got, and art has been a big part of that passion. The few people I've met here on DA makes the experiences that much more enriching. So once again thanks for the comments, but even more so, the thoughts; they are deeply appreciated.
So ramble on anytime, brother!
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This is truely a great piece of art. Good luck in the contest.
I wish I could say more....yet I'm at a loss for words.
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Loss of words notwithstanding, thank you for the kind ones, and for the fave- it means a lot. Lot of good stuff in this contest, we'll have to see how it goes...
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you're welcome.
you deserve that fave, this is really well drawn, and I expecially like the reflection, it shows the evil that you feel lurking within.
yeah that's true.
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I know that I won't be able to understand what you're going through, but your drawing opens a window to what's happening. I respected you before this and I respect you even more for your bravery into opening up your past. There are things in life that people wish to leave behind, but I believe that we learn for our past so we best not forget them. This is a very emotional and thought provoking drawing that speaks wonders. There is no reason why you shouldn't win the contest; it is amazing.
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Thank you Lady. I'm afraid the process was a bit of a journey back into some dark memories, along with many good ones of friends and such, so its not all the doom and gloom that it looks like. I apologize for all the melodrama. With that said, thank you for caring enough to comment; being able to share something like this was important for me. And you are right, we are largely a product of our experiences. I may never forget, and that is okay. But for now Mojo made me promise to spare you guys any additional drama. 
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It was my pleasure.
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Again thank you. Well said; I'm guessing here, but I'd say that you are perceptive beyond your years, my friend.
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Well, sometimes we all think we're wise.
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Wow. This drawing is very powerful. It's so personal...I really don't know what to say...
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