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#blood #target #blackandwhite #bullet #headshot #licking #red #tongue #yellow
Published: 2017-08-17 14:32:25 +0000 UTC; Views: 2207; Favourites: 173; Downloads: 0
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Description
I saw something in someone...Perhaps I was wrong after all..
or the moment was just as fleeting as these feelings were
Don't mind me.
I was insecure about this for a long time...
This has nothing to do with anything.
It's just me after all.
Gibberish, gibberish, gibberish.
Now pull.
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Comments: 45
Maekyo [2018-03-30 09:04:34 +0000 UTC]
wow, i love how you rendered the paint on her face
good job! the character seems so dynamic, i love it.
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paintausea In reply to Maekyo [2018-05-14 09:57:25 +0000 UTC]
I feel very humbled by your words.. (: Thank you!
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Baratus [2017-09-02 06:15:01 +0000 UTC]
Well... I wasn't going to say anything at first, but against my better judgment, I guess I will anyway.
Seeing this makes me think of some of the darker times in my life. Of inner demons I don't really need to bring up anymore, 'cos its been said and done and all, but I spend alot of time reflecting on.
I got hurt alot by people, (who hasn't been?) Shot down, stepped on, manipulated, betrayed... and some even tried to gloat after doing it. People have been several shades of cruel to me, and through it all, eventually I adopted the mind set of "is that all you've got?"
It stopped mattering to me that they harmed me. It didn't kill me, so I got stronger and more cunning... and at some point, it became enough that I started getting those people back. People who used to pick on me, found I was too strong to be harmed by them, I was smarter, so they couldn't win a battle of wits, and I was far better at manipulation, so when they tried to turn people against me, they'd hang themselves with their own lies. I started becoming a threat, people would try to attack me any way that they could, but after I got really big, NEVER physically... so I got good at hurting them worse than they could hurt me.
I learned from a good friend of mine, how to turn a person's own weakness against them, even off the battlefield.. and all I could think when seeing this picture was.. back to feeling like I was the real monster.
Remembering being called a demon child, remembering several other titles people had given me. At some point, I became those things...
I was the demon. I was their nightmares, and I came back, day after day to haunt them.
While it was happening... I hated myself.
Now tho'.. I don't really regret it. Only 'cos I know I was never a monster.
I mean yeah, not everything that happened was justified, but y'know.. monster was still extreme. I was just better at everyone's games than they were, so they didn't want to play anymore.
But I'm not a monster, because I don't do that to the innocent.
It was never ME that picked that fight.
Anyway, yeah so it made me think of darker stuff in meself.
Stuff that, since those times, has actually become an accepted part of who I am.
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paintausea In reply to Baratus [2017-09-11 10:56:36 +0000 UTC]
It's great that you have come to accept this part and also gave yourself the room that it needed..
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Baratus In reply to paintausea [2017-09-12 07:05:39 +0000 UTC]
I suppose.
I sometimes wonder, if 'the monster' actually won, and I just don't know it.
Sometimes I'm just not sure..
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turtlelover4ever [2017-08-31 02:51:37 +0000 UTC]
this is outstanding! the amount of detail and emotion put into this is absolutely amazing! <3 <3 the eyes are my favorite part i think
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
paintausea In reply to turtlelover4ever [2017-09-11 10:57:02 +0000 UTC]
(: .. thank you so much!
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HellishPuppet [2017-08-22 14:24:20 +0000 UTC]
They always attack all the awesome people. D:
Um. *hands you a box of band-aids*
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paintausea In reply to HellishPuppet [2017-08-24 20:42:13 +0000 UTC]
*nestles into the box*
Something that is awesome, will carry its weight of pain with it, to be the status what others persume it to be.
There is no awesome. /shoots self
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momo-lucario [2017-08-20 22:38:46 +0000 UTC]
my target is on the side of my head and i'm the one pulling the trigger.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
paintausea In reply to momo-lucario [2017-08-21 14:56:54 +0000 UTC]
A thoughtful inspiration..
I wish for you to one day be able to turn around and fire the other way..
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Candraz [2017-08-20 17:38:30 +0000 UTC]
Woa... I love this one, her eyes, the contrast between the color and the black and white... It's really stunning !!!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Candraz In reply to paintausea [2017-08-22 00:24:07 +0000 UTC]
your welcome :3 !!
I was wondering if maybe I could use this painting as a profile picture for my private twitter acount? credited of course !
I would totaly understand if you don't want ^^' i was just wondering if i could
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Shizuko-Akatsuki [2017-08-18 09:43:20 +0000 UTC]
"I won't let them kill me so easily. Time to fight back."
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
paintausea In reply to Shizuko-Akatsuki [2017-08-19 08:14:59 +0000 UTC]
Keep the flame blazing within you, sweetie.. (:
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Shizuko-Akatsuki In reply to paintausea [2017-08-19 20:57:49 +0000 UTC]
My heart is always burning I pray the fire within you to never die.
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paintausea In reply to Shizuko-Akatsuki [2017-08-21 15:23:23 +0000 UTC]
Perhaps I just need to chug some gasoline...
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Shizuko-Akatsuki In reply to paintausea [2017-08-21 16:31:29 +0000 UTC]
I wish I could make your inner little flame rise
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ReverieRose [2017-08-18 05:19:43 +0000 UTC]
This has such an intensity to it. It has a wounded feeling, but also one of strength. Keep up the amazing artwork!
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paintausea In reply to ReverieRose [2017-08-19 08:14:33 +0000 UTC]
A wounded strength...
A strength to wound..
A strengthening wound...
A wound to strengthen...
Spin~spin does the target go,
Round~round will the bullet flow,
Deep~deep, burning eyes to awaken..
Gibberish, gibberish, gibberish...
♥!! Thank you '︶'
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Theresa-Maria-Falcon [2017-08-17 20:59:55 +0000 UTC]
Always the target of that or this, ¨She's miserable !¨ some said ! ¨She's weird dude don't approach her¨ other said.
I SAY FUCK ALL OF EM AND DO WHATEVER YOU WANT
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
paintausea In reply to Theresa-Maria-Falcon [2017-08-19 08:08:30 +0000 UTC]
Haha yes! Lovely... ^^
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Cerecin [2017-08-17 20:44:31 +0000 UTC]
"There are always going to be those made to suffer..." -A thought from MANY years ago
I feel like I might have missed the heart of this piece. But perhaps that's cause it IS a very targeted piece and speaks a message only those who've experienced the subject matter can relate to. Either way, it is still a lovely looking image that evokes a defiance and challenge that I love seeing.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
paintausea In reply to Cerecin [2017-08-19 08:05:44 +0000 UTC]
I like how you took the "Target" message and used it in it's subject matter... (:
Defiance and challenge is good..!
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Fat-Butt [2017-08-17 20:34:30 +0000 UTC]
www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hDZbr… There be nastiness ahead!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
paintausea In reply to Fat-Butt [2017-08-19 08:04:17 +0000 UTC]
Hhh... It's been a while since I've heard something from Fall Out Boy..
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Fat-Butt In reply to paintausea [2017-08-19 20:45:36 +0000 UTC]
I'll take that as a compliment.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
paintausea In reply to Fat-Butt [2017-08-21 15:24:43 +0000 UTC]
The song sent me to various other bands that I haven't listened to in a while.. It was a nice little walk in the timeline of music..
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Fat-Butt In reply to paintausea [2017-08-22 22:12:31 +0000 UTC]
Always good to take a stroll down Memory Lane.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
paixii [2017-08-17 20:23:13 +0000 UTC]
hhhh.. I feel such intense anger bubbling up from this.... not just outward but also inward..
a wild urge to gleefully destroy everything that speaks to me, "..I'll make you want to kill me.....♥!"
but underneath it somehow I feel a deep pain under this impenetrable mask...
a confusing storm.. memories spinning out of control.. a desire to kill everything that revives the anxiety and pain..
and the more precious the thing, the more peace there'd be in destroying it.
yet I feel these feelings are also restraining from destroying them... and it's even more irritating...
the mask slowly cracks and crumbles away.. small snickers slipping out as someone steps on the pieces...
I see this vision of her asking, "what's wrong, dear?" as she playfully and gently caresses the other person's barefoot with her own, lightly pressing it down into the sharp shards... pushing further and further, as if easing into making the bones crack as she stands on her tippy toes to give a kiss..... eager for them to snap and everything to break so the frustrations and pain will end already...
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
paintausea In reply to paixii [2017-08-19 08:00:45 +0000 UTC]
There's an entire animation sequence that played in my head while reading this...
Remarkable!
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Vladimir32 [2017-08-17 16:22:10 +0000 UTC]
The deeper meaning of this piece is, for what I think may be the first time, a bit obscured from my understanding, but I will try...
I could be completely wrong about this, but I get a sense of trying to protect oneself from others. For most of your life you have been the Target of abuse and mockery from both inside and outside. The lines in her skin give it an almost stony appearance, evoking that (all too familiar) feeling of making oneself into a stony, false face to hide your real feelings and protect yourself. It's worked... somewhat, but although the bullet may be prevented from going all the way through, it still penetrates. The wound still hurts and bleeds, and the whole experience has taken those of us who've tried to be stony and left us furious and bitter inside, as evidenced by her firey eyes which seem to leap out of the screen at me.
Again, I could be way off, and the little poem leads me to think that I am missing something important, but this is my first impression...
Amazing work as always, bun. The realism of this one is particularly striking, as well! *hug*
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
paintausea In reply to Vladimir32 [2017-08-19 07:49:03 +0000 UTC]
That always has been a long time theme behind many of my artworks... hasn't it?
Aaah~ the stones cold hearts we have become too~
The little poem was just a fleeting event in my mind...
Gibberish, gibberish, gibberish.
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Vladimir32 In reply to paintausea [2017-08-19 15:41:50 +0000 UTC]
Indeed!
And ah, I see. uwu
*big bear curls up around the heart to give it some warmth*
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