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"Schroeder Loves Lucy"
By: Jade Lightning, a.k.a. Inuyashas-hanyougirl

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   So much had changed, even when so much stayed the same.

   Unfortunately the things that should have stayed the same, had not.

   “No one can ever replace her.”

   It was the first day of summer.  After weeks of exams, final projects, graduations, and farewell parties, finally the first morning had arrived where the gang could sleep in.  Baseball could finally get into full swing after early spring games warmed everyone up for the big season.  Everyone could relax and do their favorite things.

   Though they had all grown up, almost seniors in high school, some things stayed the same.

   Charlie Brown, who still sported a mostly bald head, looked forward to this being their biggest baseball season yet.  They were still one of the worst teams around, but as everyone had grown up, they learned to appreciate how the sport continually brought them together and allowed for lasting memories to form.  Charlie Brown had gotten better at throwing his pitches, and the smile on his face when he struck the last batter out for a winning game was priceless.

   Linus Van Pelt, who had let go of his blanket years ago even as he kept it safe in a box with all his treasures, was still Charlie Brown’s best friend.  More than just Charlie’s best friend, Linus finally gave in to Charlie’s little sister Sally, realizing how much he loved having someone always there for him.  “She liked me when I still had the blanket,” Linus explained once, “Just as long as she lays off the ‘sweet baboo’ nickname, everything’s pretty nice.”

   Even though everyone knew that “Sweet baboo” was still whispered into his ear, it was sweet to hear him feign annoyance to it as he did when he was a child.

   The rest of the gang was doing well too, at least he was sure they were.  He hadn’t seen some of them in awhile.  Even good old Snoopy was doing alright.  Even the passage of several years weren’t enough to keep this good dog down.  He began to wonder what it was that made Snoopy so special.

   He wondered that about a lot of those he knew it seemed.

   He had figured out some of them, and one girl especially, he had figured out too late; much, much too late.

   “I miss her so much.”

   This afternoon, he found himself walking the sidewalks of his neighborhood.  His brown shoes were worn and were about one season away from being replaced.  His black shorts were frayed at the hems, hanging just above his knees as they swayed along with his motion.  Though he had always been fond of horizontal stripes, on this day he wore a simple orange shirt, staying away from dark colors to help keep him cool.  His blond hair was a bit longer and messier than it was in his youth, but was still similar enough to the point where everyone identified him by it.

   His blond hair and his gift for playing the piano.  Those were just two of the things that Schroeder was known for.  A third would be his love for Beethoven, his favorite pianist and his musical inspiration.  A fourth would be his dedication to being the catcher on Charlie Brown’s baseball team.  Schroeder would always take his position by home plate, even when there were times he wanted to dedicate himself entirely to his music.  He couldn’t help but enjoy sports and spending time with the guys.

   There was one other, final thing that he was known for, even if it wasn’t as spotlighted as he thought it would be.

   He was known for capturing one girl’s heart.

   He was known for rejecting her.

   He was known for saying he would be better off without her.

   He wasn’t known, for regretting his choices.

   “Now I don’t have anyone.”

   As Schroeder walked down the sidewalks, his hands hung loosely at his sides.  All of the younger kids in the neighborhoods were out running and playing, laughing happily, much like Schroeder and his friends did in their youth.  He fondly remembered the first day of summers past, even though about half of those were spent playing piano in almost a marathon, from morning until midnight.

   Watching these children play, it reminded him of what was gone now.

   He let out a sigh, tugging at the collar of his shirt as he continued his walk.  He was heading towards Charlie Brown’s house.  He was unsure why.  It was as if his feet were doing the walking for him.

   When he got to Charlie Brown’s house, he walked up to the front door.  He paused for a moment, before knocking on the door.  Another few moments passed before the door opened.  It was Sally on the other side.

   “Well hi Schroeder!  What brings you here?” she asked with a smile on her face.

   “Hey Sally,” Schroeder replied, “I don’t know really.  I was walking through the neighborhood…I guess I’m here to see your brother.”

   Sally’s smiled waivered a bit, but strengthened as she said, “Well come on in Schroeder!  Charlie is out back with Snoopy.  I think Snoopy’s doghouse needed to be rebuilt or some of the planks needed to be replaced or something.  Anyway, come on and have some lemonade with us.  Linus is here.”

   She entered the house, and as Schroeder was following her, he felt that by now familiar knot twist its way into the pit of his stomach.  He saw Linus at school, but Linus was a grade below him and they didn’t get to talk much outside of lunch.

   And usually the conversation never drifted to how she was doing.

   “He says that she’s okay, I just hope she is.”


   Schroeder followed Sally into the living room.  Linus was sitting on the floor playing a video game.  He paused long enough to look up to Schroeder and say, “Well hey there Schroeder!  What brings you here?  I figured you’d be locked up playing your piano for at least…a week.”

   A laugh escaped Schroeder.  “Very funny Linus.  When you get as good at the piano as I am, you can make more out of less time.”

   Sally sat down beside Linus, giving him a quick kiss on his cheek before looking back to Schroeder and saying, “Charlie should be finished in a little while.  Get yourself something to drink and sit with us.  Linus is playing a new game we got the other day.”

   The young couple returned their attention to the television and each other, leaving Schroeder standing there, his mind blanking out on him for a moment.  He walked into the kitchen and got himself half a glass of lemonade.  He took a sip from it, but sighed again, tired of trying to distract himself.  He glanced at Linus and Sally again, before gently slamming the counter with his fist.  Leaving the kitchen behind, he went back to the living room and asked, “Hey Linus, is there any way I could talk to you about something?”

   Linus paused the video game, already aware of what Schroeder was going to say.  Linus looked to Sally for a moment, then back to Schroeder and said, “Dude, she’s alright.  She’s been spending most of her time helping out with Rerun’s soccer team.  She got good grades on her report card, and she’s been all smiles lately…which is always a good thing with Lucy.”

   He said her name.

   There was that name again.

   “Lucy.”

   “Very funny Linus,” Schroeder said again.  He felt the back of his neck burning.  He knew Lucy had some anger issues, even he used to make fun of them, but as his heart had opened to her, he loved everything about her, so whenever anyone made fun of her, it burned him up inside.  “Thanks for telling me nothing that I don’t already know,” he added.

   Linus let out a sigh, looking to Sally, almost as if he was pleading with her for an answer.  Sally patted Linus on the shoulder and looked to Schroeder saying, “Schroeder, if you’re really worried about Lucy, then why don’t you just talk to her yourself?”

   Schroeder felt frozen where he stood, a gasp of breath escaping him before he tensed up in this way.  He hated it whenever somebody left him with that ultimatum.  Nobody understood.  He had messed up terribly.  He yelled at her and told her he wanted nothing to do with her, ever.  He had broken her heart and at the same time given up on his own.

   “When I left her, she cried.  She said goodbye, it was over.”

   “You don’t understand,” Schroeder said, finally loosening up, bending over slightly, his arms hanging and his neck drooping in defeat.  “I…I…I can never talk to her again.  The last time, was the last time.”

   “But why Schroeder?” Sally asked, “Can’t you just say you’re sorry?”

   Linus shook his head, whispering, “Shh,” into Sally’s ear, “It was really bad when it happened.  You remember Schroeder brushing her off before.  This was flat out rejection.  It’s not what you think.  I’ve…I’ve never seen Lucy so upset.  To this day I’ve never seen her get as sad and cry as much as she does about Schroeder.  It was so bad she begged our parents to let her go to school with Peppermint Patty, Franklin, and Marcie just so she wouldn’t have to deal with seeing him everyday.”

   Sally’s eyes widened.  She remembered Lucy suddenly transferring to Peppermint Patty’s school right before she, Charlie, and Schroeder entered tenth grade.  Charlie had never explained to Sally why, only that it had a lot to do with Schroeder.  Never before had Sally understood just how bad the fight was.

   “Thanks for reminding us Linus,” Schroeder whispered.

   Linus and Sally let out a gasp, forgetting how good Schroeder’s hearing was.  “Sorry Schroeder,” Linus said, “But…two years is a long time.  I don’t think Lucy’s dwelled on it nearly as long as you have.”

   Glancing away from them, looking as low down as he possibly could, Schroeder felt his heart skip a beat.  “That’s probably because she’s forgotten about me,” he whispered.

   At that moment, the back door opened and closed, and Charlie Brown walked into the kitchen.  He paused, happy to see Schroeder, but shocked when he saw Schroeder standing there, looking sadder than ever, and Linus and Sally looking on, looking equally as upset.  It didn’t take Charlie long to figure out what was wrong.

   “Hey Schroeder, is everything okay?” Charlie Brown asked, walking up to him.

   Schroeder glanced at Charlie Brown, frowning and almost glaring at his friend.  “Does it look like everything’s okay Charlie Brown or are you just blinded from the sunlight?”

   Placing his hand on Schroeder’s shoulder, Charlie Brown smiled sympathetically, shook his head and replied, “Standard question Schroeder…sorry.”  Schroeder’s angry glare gave way to that same sad face as he lowered his eyes again.  Charlie Brown looked to Linus and Sally and asked, “I guess we were talking about her again weren’t we?”

   “Hardly!” Schroeder shouted suddenly, throwing his hands into the air.  “All Linus ever tells me is how she’s helping with Rerun’s soccer team, or his homework, or his cub scout meetings, before teasing her, openly mocking the fact that she can be a bit rough with people.  Nobody ever tells me anything other than, ‘She’s okay!’” he shouted again.

   Charlie Brown looked to Schroeder, grabbing one of his arms to get his attention before asking, “Then what do you want to know about her Schroeder?”

   The blond let out another sigh, closing his eyes and shaking his head.  “I guess I just want to know how badly she hates me still,” Schroeder answered, “It’s bad enough that I never got to apologize for being so mean to her.  It’s even worse that I’ve realized exactly how I really felt all along, and it’s too late to change anything.”

   Nobody said anything at first.  Finally, Sally stood up and walked over to Schroeder and Charlie Brown.  Taking Schroeder’s hands in her own, she smiled and said, “It can’t be too late Schroeder.  You’re both still around aren’t you?  Like Linus said, two years is a long time.  You should go tell her how you feel.  If she really loved you, she certainly hasn’t forgotten about you.  Yeah, you made her cry, and you might have broken her heart, but if there’s anyone who can put it back together again, it’s you.”

   Schroeder was silent for a few moments, gazing at Sally, thinking about what she said.  He closed his eyes, pulling away from her and taking a few steps towards the door.  He paused, and looked back to his friends before saying, “Thank you Linus, Charlie, and especially you Sally.  I just…I hope you’re right.”  He looked to Linus and asked, “Will Lucy be at the soccer fields then?”

   Everybody smiled, happy to see Schroeder finally ready to make things right.  Linus nodded and with a wave he replied, “Yep, you better hurry though.  The game will be over in half an hour!  Good luck dude!”

   “Everything will be just fine!” Sally said, waving goodbye.

   Schroeder was one step through the door, but turned back to smile at them.  Though his smile was shaky, he tried his best to let everyone know he was alright.  He nodded and said, “Thanks again…bye guys.”

   He left after this.  Charlie Brown let out a soft chuckle and said, “Imagine that.  When we were kids it was Lucy chasing Schroeder.  Now, it’s the other way around.  Let’s just hope that Schroeder gets his chance.”

   As Schroeder was running towards the soccer fields, he felt tears filling his eyes.  In his heart he knew that Lucy would most likely reject him, breaking his heart the same way he had broken hers.  He knew it would be no less than what he deserved, but it was the last thing he wanted to happen.  If Lucy still loved him, they would finally have their chance.  If she had let him go, Schroeder would have no choice but to accept the consequences of his actions.

   “I didn’t realize that I felt this way, until that day…just too late.”

   Schroeder made it to the soccer fields.  He walked along the edge of a line of trees surrounding the fields on two sides, scanning them to find Rerun’s soccer team.  He finally spotted them, and there on the side lines, he saw her.

   At last, he saw her.

   “Come on Rerun!  You can do it!  You guys have this game all wrapped up!” she cheered from the bench she sat on.

   Schroeder got as close to her as he could without leaving the safety of the trees.  He hid behind one, gazing at her.  She was so close and yet so far.  Her black hair had gotten a little longer over time, falling to just below her shoulder blades, but it was still as silky and soft as always, and had gotten even more so as she grew up.  She was wearing a soccer jersey just like the one Rerun and his teammates wore, blue and white.  Hers had the number 28 on the back.

   She wore jean shorts and white tennis shoes.  She had a pair of sunglasses hanging around her neck, and she was wearing her pink baseball cap on her head.

   The girl he loved with all of his heart was so close, but so far.

   He closed his eyes, feeling those tears behind his eye lids.  He slid to the ground, banging his head against the tree as he cringed, trying to block out the memories of the day he told her to go away forever.  Why he couldn’t have simply brushed her off like always, he didn’t know.  He remembered being an angry ninth grader, wanting nothing more than be left alone so he could play piano.  He remembered growing up with the hope that she would leave him alone.

   He never realized just how terrible being alone would feel.

   He began to cry harder than he ever had before.  He banged his head against the tree over and over, ignorant of the bruise he was making on his forehead, and the trickle of blood that seeped from the torn skin.  Nothing was more painful than having to be without Lucy.  It was all his fault.  If he was sad, angry, and hurting because of all of it, he was the only one he could blame.

   “You’re so stupid Schroeder,” he muttered, “She was the only one who was always there for you.  The things she said when you were little were stupid yes.  Like how she said she wanted me to stop playing the piano and pay attention to her.  That was stupid yes, but we were kids!  I know now that she just wanted a little attention.  She didn’t want me to give up what made me happy.  If I had stopped being so stupid and was nicer to her…she wouldn’t have felt the need to say such things just to get my attention.  I’m such a fool and an idiot.  I can’t go out there.  She won’t even let me say a word.  I—I wouldn’t blame her.  I broke her heart…”

   Schroeder began to calm down.  His love for Lucy melted any rage he directed at himself.  He reached up to rub his head, realizing how badly his forehead now hurt.  Pulling his hand back, he could see blood on his fingertips.  “Perfect genius, now look what you’ve done,” Schroeder said with a sigh.

   He reached into his pockets, looking for a napkin to wipe his forehead with, but could only find his pocket knife.  Pulling it out, he looked at it and shook his head.  Sighing he said, “Great, what can I do with this, make myself bleed even more?”

   “Alright Rerun!  That was awesome!” he heard Lucy cry.

   Schroeder peeked out from behind the tree to look at Lucy.  He could hear the referee say that the game was won by Rerun’s team.  Before Schroeder could panic, he heard the referee add that that was the end of the first game in this double header match.

   Somehow Linus had forgotten that Rerun’s team would have to play another full match with their opponents.

   Letting out a sigh, Schroeder sank back to his seat behind the tree, feeling some relief that he had a bit more time to think.  Still, he was discouraged and said, “It’s no use.  I basically told her I loved Beethoven and the piano more than I could ever love her.  If you think about it, I said stupid things to keep her away from me, like she used stupid things to try and get my attention.  Still, as we grew up Lucy tried to be a bit more serious.  She’d come to my piano recitals, talk about how great a player I was to our drama teacher so he’d let me play piano for our school plays.  Man, Lucy would always speak so highly of me if it meant I’d benefit somehow.  I can’t believe I didn’t notice it.  She grew up and realized she’d have to be more patient and less direct.  She did exactly what she thought would make things right, and I let my temper ruin it all.”

   He rubbed his head again, realizing just how much of a headache he had given himself, but still able to ignore it in favor of nursing his sick heart.  “I love Lucy,” Schroeder whispered, “But how can I tell her so?”

   Schroeder looked down at his other hand, realizing he still held his pocket knife in it.  He glanced up at the tree above him.  Just as his feet silently guided him that afternoon, Schroeder felt his hands take control.  His fingers, accustomed to dancing along the ebony and ivory keys of his beloved piano, began to curl around the handle of his pocket knife, making sure it was securely in his grasp as his knees bid him to rise.

   His hand, holding the knife, thrust the blade into the bark of the tree.  Pulling down, it carved away the top layers of bark.  Bracing himself against the sturdy tree with his remaining hand, Schroeder allowed his hand to keep pulling on the knife, manipulating the pulls until he had made the shape of a heart in the bark.  Drawing back, the blade was thrust into the wood once more.  It pulled and curved a letter, withdrew then returned to draw another.  One by one the letters formed.

   He was hardly aware of what he was actually doing, and less aware it seemed of how it was happening.  The only thing he was sure of, was why he was doing it.

   Standing back, Schroeder gazed at the tree bark, a message now carved into its side.  Within the heart shape three words were written.

   “Schroeder loves Lucy.”

   Evening had come.  Though it was late, there was still plenty of light left to see by.  The cooler air was refreshing for Rerun and his team, having something to drink after winning both games of their double header match.

   As his teammates left with their parents, Rerun looked to Lucy and said, “That was awesome Lucy!  We won both games!  I can’t wait to tell Linus!”

   Lucy smiled, taking a sip of her water and replying, “You did a great job Rerun.  Mom and Dad will be so proud of you!  And so will Linus!  He’s at Charlie Brown’s house.  We’re supposed to go over there for dinner, so we better get going!”

   Rerun smiled.  He got together his gear and said, “Oh Lucy!  Remember earlier a soccer ball went into the woods!  We have to go get it!”

   Lucy had picked up her purse and was ready to go, but replied, “That’s right.  I almost forgot about that ball.  You go ahead and head over to Charlie and Sally’s house.  I’ll catch up with you.”

   “Okay!  See you there Lucy!” Rerun cried.

   As Rerun ran off across the other soccer fields, Lucy walked over to the woods.  She grumbled, “This is why I hate getting the field near the trees.  Nobody remembers to get the ball, and then I have to.”

   Lucy got to the edge of the woods and stopped.  Shading her eyes with her hand, she looked around, trying to locate the ball.  “Now where could that thing be?” she asked aloud.  As she looked to her left, she paused.  One of the trees right beside her looked like the bark had peeled away.  She could see the lighter wood exposed, and it almost looked like something was carved into it.

   “What’s that?” Lucy asked herself.

   She walked over to the tree to get a better look at it.  As she stood before it, she felt paralyzed with awe.  There was indeed something carved into this tree.  A heart shape could be made out, and in the center were written three words.

   “Schroeder loves Lucy.”

   Lucy struggled to take a breath.  She held her hand to her heart, almost as if she was trying to make sure it was still beating.  She licked her lips, stepping as close to the tree as she could.  “Who…did he…did he do this?” she whispered.

   She placed her hand on the carving, gently running her finger through the grooves.  She could tell the carving was still fresh.  She leaned her head against the tree, closing her eyes, “He had to have done this…who else would play such a cruel joke on me?  But…why?  If he did this, where is he?  Where…is Schroeder?”

   Suddenly, she heard a twig crack from beyond her.  She looked up, letting out a gasp as she tried to locate the source.  It wouldn’t be difficult.  A few feet away, there he stood, his blond hair blowing in the gentle breeze, wearing an orange shirt and black shorts with frayed hems, holding a soccer ball in his hands.

   He gazed at her for a moment, before looking away, holding the ball out to her and whispering, “Were you looking for this?”

   “Schroeder,” Lucy murmured.  She still had one hand placed on the carving.  She looked to it, and then back to Schroeder and asked, “Did you do this?”

   Schroeder looked up at her, but only briefly, realizing he had trouble looking her in the eyes, feeling such shame.  The last time they spoke like this, he had made her cry.  It was a heavy weight on his shoulders, and he didn’t know if he could overcome it.  His confidence shrank.  He simply nodded his head.

   Lucy could sense his weakness.  She had never seen him so vulnerable before, and it tugged at her heart.  Stepping closer to him, she asked, “Hey Schroeder, are you okay?”  As she was walking, she could see part of the bruise on Schroeder’s forehead.  She made up the rest of the distance between them, desperate for him to look up so she could see if he was alright.

   He felt as though he could shatter into a million pieces at any second.  His legs were shaking, and instead of looking up at her, he simply offered her the soccer ball again.  Lucy looked at it and took it from him, sitting it on the ground beside her before returning her attention to Schroeder.  He stood about the same height as she, perhaps an inch taller, but hung his head and drooped his shoulders so low he looked like he was a bit shorter instead.

   She hadn’t thought about what it would be like seeing him again, but she would never have imagined it to be like this.  He had barely spoken a word, and looked like he had nothing left to offer anyone.  She took her hand and placed it under his chin, lifting his head so he would look her in the eyes.  It was then that she saw the bruise on his forehead, and the remnants of dried blood left around it.  She reached up to touch it as she asked, “What happened Schroeder?  How did you get hurt?  I know you’d never bang your head against your piano.”

   This caused Schroeder to let out a small chuckle.  He took a breath, looking her in the eyes as he said, “No, I just…it was the tree over there.  I guess I banged my head on it for too long.”

   “Why would you do that Schroeder?” Lucy asked.

   “You can’t guess?” he asked in reply.

   “Well, I guess…,” Lucy started, “…it doesn’t matter.”

   Schroeder hung his head and sighed again.  “You better go.  You’re supposed to be at Charlie Brown’s for dinner,” he whispered.

   Lucy looked back to him and asked, “You heard all of that?”

   “Every word…I’ve been here since the end of the first match,” Schroeder replied.

   “Why are you here?” Lucy asked.

   Schroeder turned away from her.  His stomach felt sick.  He didn’t know if he could go on.

   At least she hadn’t started to cry yet.

   He took a deep breath and said, “I…I’m here, because…I’m—I’m sorry Lucy.”  Not looking back at her, he continued, “I never apologized for being such an idiot and yelling at you two years ago.  I made you cry, and I said things I shouldn’t have, and that I didn’t mean to say.”

   Lucy felt frozen again.  “You…you didn’t mean them?”

   “How could I?” Schroeder cried, turning around to face her.  He walked back up to her, placing his hands on her shoulders and saying, “Lucy, the day that I told you I wanted nothing to do with you, was the day I realized I wanted everything to do with you.  I guess at first I thought I was just feeling bad for what I said, but that wasn’t it.  I didn’t forget about you.  I thought I’d feel better without you, but I only felt worse.  It was only after I realized how much I was thinking about you that I finally understood that it wasn’t remorse.  I missed not having you there to support me.  You were the only one who stood by me.  While everyone was outside playing, you’d sit by my piano and listen to me play.  Sure, sometimes you were critical of it, but…I know it’s only because you wanted attention.  You never…you never wanted to bring me down.  You only wanted to bring me up.  I just…I didn’t realize…that I felt the way I do, until that day.  You ran off crying, and there was nothing I could do…I had to hope that you were alright, even as I wished…I could go back, and change it all.”

   “I was such a fool.”

   Schroeder fell silent.  That’s what he felt like.  He felt like a complete and total fool.  He also knew he was wasting Lucy’s time.  He had messed up, and there was no going back.

   “Look, Lucy, I’m sorry,” he whispered, gazing at the ground, “I’ve wasted enough of your time.  Don’t worry or think about me anymore.  I just had to apologize for hurting you.  For being…such a fool.”

   Lucy felt tears in her eyes, but unlike the last time she spoke to Schroeder, they weren’t tears coming from her broken heart.  They were tears coming from Schroeder’s broken heart.

   He didn’t move.  He just continued to look down, almost as if he was waiting for her to leave before he would allow himself to look up again.

   “Schroeder,” Lucy whispered.  “Please Schroeder, won’t you at least look up at me before I go?”

   His heart began to pound.  As bad as he felt, he couldn’t refuse her request.  He felt he owed her everything after the way he had treated her.  Swallowing hard, he directed all the strength he could to his neck, bidding his head to rise even as it fought to stay bent in shame.

   One last time, he’d look her in the eyes, before he had to let her go forever.

   He closed his eyes, lifting his head up.

   He heard, “Please, open your eyes Schroeder.  Please?”

   She wanted him to open his eyes.  He didn’t know if he could do it.

   “Lucy, please…just leave me.  You can be free from me now,” Schroeder whispered.

   Schroeder wouldn’t open his eyes.  He was afraid if he did, tears would fall from them, and he would upset her, and even worse, he feared seeing tears in her eyes again.

   Again he heard her voice, “Please Schroeder?”

   Taking a breath, Schroeder whispered, “Okay, for you Lucy.”

   But as he opened his eyes, something happened.

   He could only open them halfway, before Lucy leaned forward and kissed him.  It wasn’t just on the cheek.  Her lips met his.

   An indescribable wave of feeling overtook Schroeder, rocking him from his head to his toes.

   He didn’t think.  He relaxed.  Railing against the nervous feelings, he relaxed.  He noticed Lucy had closed her eyes, and so he allowed his to close again.  He realized as he let go of the tensions, that he felt better.  He wrapped his arms around her, and leaned into the kiss, his first.

   “You’re everything to me.”

   After a few minutes, they both pulled back.  Schroeder opened his eyes, and he could see Lucy looking back at him, her cheeks a rosy red color.

   Schroeder realized that all of the pain and sadness from before had disappeared.  Everything, against all odds, was the way he had hoped it would be.

   But even with all of that, he still didn’t understand, and wanted to know one thing.

   Why?

   “Lucy…why…,” Schroeder started.

   She put her fingers to his lips, shaking her head and whispering, “Shh, don’t say anything.”

   He continued to gaze at her, waiting for her to speak after she took her fingers away from his lips.

   Reaching up to brush his bangs out of his face, Lucy continued, “Yes, you hurt me Schroeder.  At the time I never wanted to see you again, but not because I hated you.  I didn’t want to see you, because you had told me my dreams would never come true, and that was more than my heart could take.  That’s why I had to get away from you.  I let go of being mad at you a long time ago, because if anything I wanted you to be happy.  I’d ask Linus and Charlie Brown and they’d tell me you were alright, and that was enough.  I could never hate you Schroeder.  There was always a place for you in my heart.”

   By the time she finished speaking, she had moved to gently rubbing the bruise on Schroeder’s forehead.  He felt his heart pounding again, but it was a good feeling this time.  He let out a long breath, and took Lucy’s hand in his own, moving it away from his head.  He rubbed it gently and whispered, “And all this time, I thought you wanted me to drop off the face of the planet.”

   “All this time, I wanted you back Schroeder,” Lucy whispered, “But…you told me to leave you alone…and I listened.”

   A tear fell from Schroeder’s eyes, landing on Lucy’s hand as he held it.

   She looked up at him, he had hung his head again, but as he looked back up at her, a smile was on his face.  “You…I—I did say that didn’t I?  You did exactly what I told you to do…too bad it turned out to be the exact opposite thing I wanted.”

   Lucy smiled.  She shook her head again and whispered, “I love you Schroeder.”

   She had said it.  She said the words he could only dream that she would say to him after how he had treated her.

   “Lu—Lucy…,” he whispered.  He closed his eyes briefly, trying to sniff away the tears.  He knew what he wanted to say, and in the same way he found the ease to carve the heart into the tree, such ease that he felt as though it was beyond his control, he looked at her once more and whispered, “I love you too…Lucy.”

  “Oh Schroeder,” Lucy said, laughing happily.  She pulled him into a tight hug, continuing to laugh, filled with such happiness she didn’t know how else to let it go.

   Schroeder returned the hug.  He felt the same joy, only his might have been a bit stronger, and a bit more mixed with relief.  That embrace he shared with her now, allowed for all the sufferings of the past two years fade away.  He wouldn’t have to miss her anymore.  He wouldn’t have to hate himself for letting her go anymore.  He wouldn’t have to wonder if she was alright.  He finally had someone, he had her with him, at last.

   Pulling back from the hug, he said, “It’s getting dark.  Let me walk you to Charlie Brown’s house okay?”

   “Okay Schroeder,” Lucy said, with a smile.  It was a smile no one had seen since the days Lucy would lean on Schroeder’s piano as he played.  It was a sign that everything was the way it was supposed to be, as well as his heart being able to beat unburdened.

   She picked up the soccer ball, and Schroeder took her hand in his own.  They walked out of the woods, leaving the heart carved tree behind them.  It would be there for awhile, and even if it disappeared, the message it bore would live on.

   Schroeder loved Lucy.  Lucy loved Schroeder.

   They knew it, and so would everyone else.

   Just like they all did so many summers ago.

   “I love Lucy, my Lucy.”

Description
"Schroeder Loves Lucy"
By: Jade Lightning, a.k.a. Inuyashas-hanyougirl

-----

   So much had changed, even when so much stayed the same.

   Unfortunately the things that should have stayed the same, had not.

   “No one can ever replace her.”

   It was the first day of summer.  After weeks of exams, final projects, graduations, and farewell parties, finally the first morning had arrived where the gang could sleep in.  Baseball could finally get into full swing after early spring games warmed everyone up for the big season.  Everyone could relax and do their favorite things.

   Though they had all grown up, almost seniors in high school, some things stayed the same.

   Charlie Brown, who still sported a mostly bald head, looked forward to this being their biggest baseball season yet.  They were still one of the worst teams around, but as everyone had grown up, they learned to appreciate how the sport continually brought them together and allowed for lasting memories to form.  Charlie Brown had gotten better at throwing his pitches, and the smile on his face when he struck the last batter out for a winning game was priceless.

   Linus Van Pelt, who had let go of his blanket years ago even as he kept it safe in a box with all his treasures, was still Charlie Brown’s best friend.  More than just Charlie’s best friend, Linus finally gave in to Charlie’s little sister Sally, realizing how much he loved having someone always there for him.  “She liked me when I still had the blanket,” Linus explained once, “Just as long as she lays off the ‘sweet baboo’ nickname, everything’s pretty nice.”

   Even though everyone knew that “Sweet baboo” was still whispered into his ear, it was sweet to hear him feign annoyance to it as he did when he was a child.

   The rest of the gang was doing well too, at least he was sure they were.  He hadn’t seen some of them in awhile.  Even good old Snoopy was doing alright.  Even the passage of several years weren’t enough to keep this good dog down.  He began to wonder what it was that made Snoopy so special.

   He wondered that about a lot of those he knew it seemed.

   He had figured out some of them, and one girl especially, he had figured out too late; much, much too late.

   “I miss her so much.”

   This afternoon, he found himself walking the sidewalks of his neighborhood.  His brown shoes were worn and were about one season away from being replaced.  His black shorts were frayed at the hems, hanging just above his knees as they swayed along with his motion.  Though he had always been fond of horizontal stripes, on this day he wore a simple orange shirt, staying away from dark colors to help keep him cool.  His blond hair was a bit longer and messier than it was in his youth, but was still similar enough to the point where everyone identified him by it.

   His blond hair and his gift for playing the piano.  Those were just two of the things that Schroeder was known for.  A third would be his love for Beethoven, his favorite pianist and his musical inspiration.  A fourth would be his dedication to being the catcher on Charlie Brown’s baseball team.  Schroeder would always take his position by home plate, even when there were times he wanted to dedicate himself entirely to his music.  He couldn’t help but enjoy sports and spending time with the guys.

   There was one other, final thing that he was known for, even if it wasn’t as spotlighted as he thought it would be.

   He was known for capturing one girl’s heart.

   He was known for rejecting her.

   He was known for saying he would be better off without her.

   He wasn’t known, for regretting his choices.

   “Now I don’t have anyone.”

   As Schroeder walked down the sidewalks, his hands hung loosely at his sides.  All of the younger kids in the neighborhoods were out running and playing, laughing happily, much like Schroeder and his friends did in their youth.  He fondly remembered the first day of summers past, even though about half of those were spent playing piano in almost a marathon, from morning until midnight.

   Watching these children play, it reminded him of what was gone now.

   He let out a sigh, tugging at the collar of his shirt as he continued his walk.  He was heading towards Charlie Brown’s house.  He was unsure why.  It was as if his feet were doing the walking for him.

   When he got to Charlie Brown’s house, he walked up to the front door.  He paused for a moment, before knocking on the door.  Another few moments passed before the door opened.  It was Sally on the other side.

   “Well hi Schroeder!  What brings you here?” she asked with a smile on her face.

   “Hey Sally,” Schroeder replied, “I don’t know really.  I was walking through the neighborhood…I guess I’m here to see your brother.”

   Sally’s smiled waivered a bit, but strengthened as she said, “Well come on in Schroeder!  Charlie is out back with Snoopy.  I think Snoopy’s doghouse needed to be rebuilt or some of the planks needed to be replaced or something.  Anyway, come on and have some lemonade with us.  Linus is here.”

   She entered the house, and as Schroeder was following her, he felt that by now familiar knot twist its way into the pit of his stomach.  He saw Linus at school, but Linus was a grade below him and they didn’t get to talk much outside of lunch.

   And usually the conversation never drifted to how she was doing.

   “He says that she’s okay, I just hope she is.”


   Schroeder followed Sally into the living room.  Linus was sitting on the floor playing a video game.  He paused long enough to look up to Schroeder and say, “Well hey there Schroeder!  What brings you here?  I figured you’d be locked up playing your piano for at least…a week.”

   A laugh escaped Schroeder.  “Very funny Linus.  When you get as good at the piano as I am, you can make more out of less time.”

   Sally sat down beside Linus, giving him a quick kiss on his cheek before looking back to Schroeder and saying, “Charlie should be finished in a little while.  Get yourself something to drink and sit with us.  Linus is playing a new game we got the other day.”

   The young couple returned their attention to the television and each other, leaving Schroeder standing there, his mind blanking out on him for a moment.  He walked into the kitchen and got himself half a glass of lemonade.  He took a sip from it, but sighed again, tired of trying to distract himself.  He glanced at Linus and Sally again, before gently slamming the counter with his fist.  Leaving the kitchen behind, he went back to the living room and asked, “Hey Linus, is there any way I could talk to you about something?”

   Linus paused the video game, already aware of what Schroeder was going to say.  Linus looked to Sally for a moment, then back to Schroeder and said, “Dude, she’s alright.  She’s been spending most of her time helping out with Rerun’s soccer team.  She got good grades on her report card, and she’s been all smiles lately…which is always a good thing with Lucy.”

   He said her name.

   There was that name again.

   “Lucy.”

   “Very funny Linus,” Schroeder said again.  He felt the back of his neck burning.  He knew Lucy had some anger issues, even he used to make fun of them, but as his heart had opened to her, he loved everything about her, so whenever anyone made fun of her, it burned him up inside.  “Thanks for telling me nothing that I don’t already know,” he added.

   Linus let out a sigh, looking to Sally, almost as if he was pleading with her for an answer.  Sally patted Linus on the shoulder and looked to Schroeder saying, “Schroeder, if you’re really worried about Lucy, then why don’t you just talk to her yourself?”

   Schroeder felt frozen where he stood, a gasp of breath escaping him before he tensed up in this way.  He hated it whenever somebody left him with that ultimatum.  Nobody understood.  He had messed up terribly.  He yelled at her and told her he wanted nothing to do with her, ever.  He had broken her heart and at the same time given up on his own.

   “When I left her, she cried.  She said goodbye, it was over.”

   “You don’t understand,” Schroeder said, finally loosening up, bending over slightly, his arms hanging and his neck drooping in defeat.  “I…I…I can never talk to her again.  The last time, was the last time.”

   “But why Schroeder?” Sally asked, “Can’t you just say you’re sorry?”

   Linus shook his head, whispering, “Shh,” into Sally’s ear, “It was really bad when it happened.  You remember Schroeder brushing her off before.  This was flat out rejection.  It’s not what you think.  I’ve…I’ve never seen Lucy so upset.  To this day I’ve never seen her get as sad and cry as much as she does about Schroeder.  It was so bad she begged our parents to let her go to school with Peppermint Patty, Franklin, and Marcie just so she wouldn’t have to deal with seeing him everyday.”

   Sally’s eyes widened.  She remembered Lucy suddenly transferring to Peppermint Patty’s school right before she, Charlie, and Schroeder entered tenth grade.  Charlie had never explained to Sally why, only that it had a lot to do with Schroeder.  Never before had Sally understood just how bad the fight was.

   “Thanks for reminding us Linus,” Schroeder whispered.

   Linus and Sally let out a gasp, forgetting how good Schroeder’s hearing was.  “Sorry Schroeder,” Linus said, “But…two years is a long time.  I don’t think Lucy’s dwelled on it nearly as long as you have.”

   Glancing away from them, looking as low down as he possibly could, Schroeder felt his heart skip a beat.  “That’s probably because she’s forgotten about me,” he whispered.

   At that moment, the back door opened and closed, and Charlie Brown walked into the kitchen.  He paused, happy to see Schroeder, but shocked when he saw Schroeder standing there, looking sadder than ever, and Linus and Sally looking on, looking equally as upset.  It didn’t take Charlie long to figure out what was wrong.

   “Hey Schroeder, is everything okay?” Charlie Brown asked, walking up to him.

   Schroeder glanced at Charlie Brown, frowning and almost glaring at his friend.  “Does it look like everything’s okay Charlie Brown or are you just blinded from the sunlight?”

   Placing his hand on Schroeder’s shoulder, Charlie Brown smiled sympathetically, shook his head and replied, “Standard question Schroeder…sorry.”  Schroeder’s angry glare gave way to that same sad face as he lowered his eyes again.  Charlie Brown looked to Linus and Sally and asked, “I guess we were talking about her again weren’t we?”

   “Hardly!” Schroeder shouted suddenly, throwing his hands into the air.  “All Linus ever tells me is how she’s helping with Rerun’s soccer team, or his homework, or his cub scout meetings, before teasing her, openly mocking the fact that she can be a bit rough with people.  Nobody ever tells me anything other than, ‘She’s okay!’” he shouted again.

   Charlie Brown looked to Schroeder, grabbing one of his arms to get his attention before asking, “Then what do you want to know about her Schroeder?”

   The blond let out another sigh, closing his eyes and shaking his head.  “I guess I just want to know how badly she hates me still,” Schroeder answered, “It’s bad enough that I never got to apologize for being so mean to her.  It’s even worse that I’ve realized exactly how I really felt all along, and it’s too late to change anything.”

   Nobody said anything at first.  Finally, Sally stood up and walked over to Schroeder and Charlie Brown.  Taking Schroeder’s hands in her own, she smiled and said, “It can’t be too late Schroeder.  You’re both still around aren’t you?  Like Linus said, two years is a long time.  You should go tell her how you feel.  If she really loved you, she certainly hasn’t forgotten about you.  Yeah, you made her cry, and you might have broken her heart, but if there’s anyone who can put it back together again, it’s you.”

   Schroeder was silent for a few moments, gazing at Sally, thinking about what she said.  He closed his eyes, pulling away from her and taking a few steps towards the door.  He paused, and looked back to his friends before saying, “Thank you Linus, Charlie, and especially you Sally.  I just…I hope you’re right.”  He looked to Linus and asked, “Will Lucy be at the soccer fields then?”

   Everybody smiled, happy to see Schroeder finally ready to make things right.  Linus nodded and with a wave he replied, “Yep, you better hurry though.  The game will be over in half an hour!  Good luck dude!”

   “Everything will be just fine!” Sally said, waving goodbye.

   Schroeder was one step through the door, but turned back to smile at them.  Though his smile was shaky, he tried his best to let everyone know he was alright.  He nodded and said, “Thanks again…bye guys.”

   He left after this.  Charlie Brown let out a soft chuckle and said, “Imagine that.  When we were kids it was Lucy chasing Schroeder.  Now, it’s the other way around.  Let’s just hope that Schroeder gets his chance.”

   As Schroeder was running towards the soccer fields, he felt tears filling his eyes.  In his heart he knew that Lucy would most likely reject him, breaking his heart the same way he had broken hers.  He knew it would be no less than what he deserved, but it was the last thing he wanted to happen.  If Lucy still loved him, they would finally have their chance.  If she had let him go, Schroeder would have no choice but to accept the consequences of his actions.

   “I didn’t realize that I felt this way, until that day…just too late.”

   Schroeder made it to the soccer fields.  He walked along the edge of a line of trees surrounding the fields on two sides, scanning them to find Rerun’s soccer team.  He finally spotted them, and there on the side lines, he saw her.

   At last, he saw her.

   “Come on Rerun!  You can do it!  You guys have this game all wrapped up!” she cheered from the bench she sat on.

   Schroeder got as close to her as he could without leaving the safety of the trees.  He hid behind one, gazing at her.  She was so close and yet so far.  Her black hair had gotten a little longer over time, falling to just below her shoulder blades, but it was still as silky and soft as always, and had gotten even more so as she grew up.  She was wearing a soccer jersey just like the one Rerun and his teammates wore, blue and white.  Hers had the number 28 on the back.

   She wore jean shorts and white tennis shoes.  She had a pair of sunglasses hanging around her neck, and she was wearing her pink baseball cap on her head.

   The girl he loved with all of his heart was so close, but so far.

   He closed his eyes, feeling those tears behind his eye lids.  He slid to the ground, banging his head against the tree as he cringed, trying to block out the memories of the day he told her to go away forever.  Why he couldn’t have simply brushed her off like always, he didn’t know.  He remembered being an angry ninth grader, wanting nothing more than be left alone so he could play piano.  He remembered growing up with the hope that she would leave him alone.

   He never realized just how terrible being alone would feel.

   He began to cry harder than he ever had before.  He banged his head against the tree over and over, ignorant of the bruise he was making on his forehead, and the trickle of blood that seeped from the torn skin.  Nothing was more painful than having to be without Lucy.  It was all his fault.  If he was sad, angry, and hurting because of all of it, he was the only one he could blame.

   “You’re so stupid Schroeder,” he muttered, “She was the only one who was always there for you.  The things she said when you were little were stupid yes.  Like how she said she wanted me to stop playing the piano and pay attention to her.  That was stupid yes, but we were kids!  I know now that she just wanted a little attention.  She didn’t want me to give up what made me happy.  If I had stopped being so stupid and was nicer to her…she wouldn’t have felt the need to say such things just to get my attention.  I’m such a fool and an idiot.  I can’t go out there.  She won’t even let me say a word.  I—I wouldn’t blame her.  I broke her heart…”

   Schroeder began to calm down.  His love for Lucy melted any rage he directed at himself.  He reached up to rub his head, realizing how badly his forehead now hurt.  Pulling his hand back, he could see blood on his fingertips.  “Perfect genius, now look what you’ve done,” Schroeder said with a sigh.

   He reached into his pockets, looking for a napkin to wipe his forehead with, but could only find his pocket knife.  Pulling it out, he looked at it and shook his head.  Sighing he said, “Great, what can I do with this, make myself bleed even more?”

   “Alright Rerun!  That was awesome!” he heard Lucy cry.

   Schroeder peeked out from behind the tree to look at Lucy.  He could hear the referee say that the game was won by Rerun’s team.  Before Schroeder could panic, he heard the referee add that that was the end of the first game in this double header match.

   Somehow Linus had forgotten that Rerun’s team would have to play another full match with their opponents.

   Letting out a sigh, Schroeder sank back to his seat behind the tree, feeling some relief that he had a bit more time to think.  Still, he was discouraged and said, “It’s no use.  I basically told her I loved Beethoven and the piano more than I could ever love her.  If you think about it, I said stupid things to keep her away from me, like she used stupid things to try and get my attention.  Still, as we grew up Lucy tried to be a bit more serious.  She’d come to my piano recitals, talk about how great a player I was to our drama teacher so he’d let me play piano for our school plays.  Man, Lucy would always speak so highly of me if it meant I’d benefit somehow.  I can’t believe I didn’t notice it.  She grew up and realized she’d have to be more patient and less direct.  She did exactly what she thought would make things right, and I let my temper ruin it all.”

   He rubbed his head again, realizing just how much of a headache he had given himself, but still able to ignore it in favor of nursing his sick heart.  “I love Lucy,” Schroeder whispered, “But how can I tell her so?”

   Schroeder looked down at his other hand, realizing he still held his pocket knife in it.  He glanced up at the tree above him.  Just as his feet silently guided him that afternoon, Schroeder felt his hands take control.  His fingers, accustomed to dancing along the ebony and ivory keys of his beloved piano, began to curl around the handle of his pocket knife, making sure it was securely in his grasp as his knees bid him to rise.

   His hand, holding the knife, thrust the blade into the bark of the tree.  Pulling down, it carved away the top layers of bark.  Bracing himself against the sturdy tree with his remaining hand, Schroeder allowed his hand to keep pulling on the knife, manipulating the pulls until he had made the shape of a heart in the bark.  Drawing back, the blade was thrust into the wood once more.  It pulled and curved a letter, withdrew then returned to draw another.  One by one the letters formed.

   He was hardly aware of what he was actually doing, and less aware it seemed of how it was happening.  The only thing he was sure of, was why he was doing it.

   Standing back, Schroeder gazed at the tree bark, a message now carved into its side.  Within the heart shape three words were written.

   “Schroeder loves Lucy.”

   Evening had come.  Though it was late, there was still plenty of light left to see by.  The cooler air was refreshing for Rerun and his team, having something to drink after winning both games of their double header match.

   As his teammates left with their parents, Rerun looked to Lucy and said, “That was awesome Lucy!  We won both games!  I can’t wait to tell Linus!”

   Lucy smiled, taking a sip of her water and replying, “You did a great job Rerun.  Mom and Dad will be so proud of you!  And so will Linus!  He’s at Charlie Brown’s house.  We’re supposed to go over there for dinner, so we better get going!”

   Rerun smiled.  He got together his gear and said, “Oh Lucy!  Remember earlier a soccer ball went into the woods!  We have to go get it!”

   Lucy had picked up her purse and was ready to go, but replied, “That’s right.  I almost forgot about that ball.  You go ahead and head over to Charlie and Sally’s house.  I’ll catch up with you.”

   “Okay!  See you there Lucy!” Rerun cried.

   As Rerun ran off across the other soccer fields, Lucy walked over to the woods.  She grumbled, “This is why I hate getting the field near the trees.  Nobody remembers to get the ball, and then I have to.”

   Lucy got to the edge of the woods and stopped.  Shading her eyes with her hand, she looked around, trying to locate the ball.  “Now where could that thing be?” she asked aloud.  As she looked to her left, she paused.  One of the trees right beside her looked like the bark had peeled away.  She could see the lighter wood exposed, and it almost looked like something was carved into it.

   “What’s that?” Lucy asked herself.

   She walked over to the tree to get a better look at it.  As she stood before it, she felt paralyzed with awe.  There was indeed something carved into this tree.  A heart shape could be made out, and in the center were written three words.

   “Schroeder loves Lucy.”

   Lucy struggled to take a breath.  She held her hand to her heart, almost as if she was trying to make sure it was still beating.  She licked her lips, stepping as close to the tree as she could.  “Who…did he…did he do this?” she whispered.

   She placed her hand on the carving, gently running her finger through the grooves.  She could tell the carving was still fresh.  She leaned her head against the tree, closing her eyes, “He had to have done this…who else would play such a cruel joke on me?  But…why?  If he did this, where is he?  Where…is Schroeder?”

   Suddenly, she heard a twig crack from beyond her.  She looked up, letting out a gasp as she tried to locate the source.  It wouldn’t be difficult.  A few feet away, there he stood, his blond hair blowing in the gentle breeze, wearing an orange shirt and black shorts with frayed hems, holding a soccer ball in his hands.

   He gazed at her for a moment, before looking away, holding the ball out to her and whispering, “Were you looking for this?”

   “Schroeder,” Lucy murmured.  She still had one hand placed on the carving.  She looked to it, and then back to Schroeder and asked, “Did you do this?”

   Schroeder looked up at her, but only briefly, realizing he had trouble looking her in the eyes, feeling such shame.  The last time they spoke like this, he had made her cry.  It was a heavy weight on his shoulders, and he didn’t know if he could overcome it.  His confidence shrank.  He simply nodded his head.

   Lucy could sense his weakness.  She had never seen him so vulnerable before, and it tugged at her heart.  Stepping closer to him, she asked, “Hey Schroeder, are you okay?”  As she was walking, she could see part of the bruise on Schroeder’s forehead.  She made up the rest of the distance between them, desperate for him to look up so she could see if he was alright.

   He felt as though he could shatter into a million pieces at any second.  His legs were shaking, and instead of looking up at her, he simply offered her the soccer ball again.  Lucy looked at it and took it from him, sitting it on the ground beside her before returning her attention to Schroeder.  He stood about the same height as she, perhaps an inch taller, but hung his head and drooped his shoulders so low he looked like he was a bit shorter instead.

   She hadn’t thought about what it would be like seeing him again, but she would never have imagined it to be like this.  He had barely spoken a word, and looked like he had nothing left to offer anyone.  She took her hand and placed it under his chin, lifting his head so he would look her in the eyes.  It was then that she saw the bruise on his forehead, and the remnants of dried blood left around it.  She reached up to touch it as she asked, “What happened Schroeder?  How did you get hurt?  I know you’d never bang your head against your piano.”

   This caused Schroeder to let out a small chuckle.  He took a breath, looking her in the eyes as he said, “No, I just…it was the tree over there.  I guess I banged my head on it for too long.”

   “Why would you do that Schroeder?” Lucy asked.

   “You can’t guess?” he asked in reply.

   “Well, I guess…,” Lucy started, “…it doesn’t matter.”

   Schroeder hung his head and sighed again.  “You better go.  You’re supposed to be at Charlie Brown’s for dinner,” he whispered.

   Lucy looked back to him and asked, “You heard all of that?”

   “Every word…I’ve been here since the end of the first match,” Schroeder replied.

   “Why are you here?” Lucy asked.

   Schroeder turned away from her.  His stomach felt sick.  He didn’t know if he could go on.

   At least she hadn’t started to cry yet.

   He took a deep breath and said, “I…I’m here, because…I’m—I’m sorry Lucy.”  Not looking back at her, he continued, “I never apologized for being such an idiot and yelling at you two years ago.  I made you cry, and I said things I shouldn’t have, and that I didn’t mean to say.”

   Lucy felt frozen again.  “You…you didn’t mean them?”

   “How could I?” Schroeder cried, turning around to face her.  He walked back up to her, placing his hands on her shoulders and saying, “Lucy, the day that I told you I wanted nothing to do with you, was the day I realized I wanted everything to do with you.  I guess at first I thought I was just feeling bad for what I said, but that wasn’t it.  I didn’t forget about you.  I thought I’d feel better without you, but I only felt worse.  It was only after I realized how much I was thinking about you that I finally understood that it wasn’t remorse.  I missed not having you there to support me.  You were the only one who stood by me.  While everyone was outside playing, you’d sit by my piano and listen to me play.  Sure, sometimes you were critical of it, but…I know it’s only because you wanted attention.  You never…you never wanted to bring me down.  You only wanted to bring me up.  I just…I didn’t realize…that I felt the way I do, until that day.  You ran off crying, and there was nothing I could do…I had to hope that you were alright, even as I wished…I could go back, and change it all.”

   “I was such a fool.”

   Schroeder fell silent.  That’s what he felt like.  He felt like a complete and total fool.  He also knew he was wasting Lucy’s time.  He had messed up, and there was no going back.

   “Look, Lucy, I’m sorry,” he whispered, gazing at the ground, “I’ve wasted enough of your time.  Don’t worry or think about me anymore.  I just had to apologize for hurting you.  For being…such a fool.”

   Lucy felt tears in her eyes, but unlike the last time she spoke to Schroeder, they weren’t tears coming from her broken heart.  They were tears coming from Schroeder’s broken heart.

   He didn’t move.  He just continued to look down, almost as if he was waiting for her to leave before he would allow himself to look up again.

   “Schroeder,” Lucy whispered.  “Please Schroeder, won’t you at least look up at me before I go?”

   His heart began to pound.  As bad as he felt, he couldn’t refuse her request.  He felt he owed her everything after the way he had treated her.  Swallowing hard, he directed all the strength he could to his neck, bidding his head to rise even as it fought to stay bent in shame.

   One last time, he’d look her in the eyes, before he had to let her go forever.

   He closed his eyes, lifting his head up.

   He heard, “Please, open your eyes Schroeder.  Please?”

   She wanted him to open his eyes.  He didn’t know if he could do it.

   “Lucy, please…just leave me.  You can be free from me now,” Schroeder whispered.

   Schroeder wouldn’t open his eyes.  He was afraid if he did, tears would fall from them, and he would upset her, and even worse, he feared seeing tears in her eyes again.

   Again he heard her voice, “Please Schroeder?”

   Taking a breath, Schroeder whispered, “Okay, for you Lucy.”

   But as he opened his eyes, something happened.

   He could only open them halfway, before Lucy leaned forward and kissed him.  It wasn’t just on the cheek.  Her lips met his.

   An indescribable wave of feeling overtook Schroeder, rocking him from his head to his toes.

   He didn’t think.  He relaxed.  Railing against the nervous feelings, he relaxed.  He noticed Lucy had closed her eyes, and so he allowed his to close again.  He realized as he let go of the tensions, that he felt better.  He wrapped his arms around her, and leaned into the kiss, his first.

   “You’re everything to me.”

   After a few minutes, they both pulled back.  Schroeder opened his eyes, and he could see Lucy looking back at him, her cheeks a rosy red color.

   Schroeder realized that all of the pain and sadness from before had disappeared.  Everything, against all odds, was the way he had hoped it would be.

   But even with all of that, he still didn’t understand, and wanted to know one thing.

   Why?

   “Lucy…why…,” Schroeder started.

   She put her fingers to his lips, shaking her head and whispering, “Shh, don’t say anything.”

   He continued to gaze at her, waiting for her to speak after she took her fingers away from his lips.

   Reaching up to brush his bangs out of his face, Lucy continued, “Yes, you hurt me Schroeder.  At the time I never wanted to see you again, but not because I hated you.  I didn’t want to see you, because you had told me my dreams would never come true, and that was more than my heart could take.  That’s why I had to get away from you.  I let go of being mad at you a long time ago, because if anything I wanted you to be happy.  I’d ask Linus and Charlie Brown and they’d tell me you were alright, and that was enough.  I could never hate you Schroeder.  There was always a place for you in my heart.”

   By the time she finished speaking, she had moved to gently rubbing the bruise on Schroeder’s forehead.  He felt his heart pounding again, but it was a good feeling this time.  He let out a long breath, and took Lucy’s hand in his own, moving it away from his head.  He rubbed it gently and whispered, “And all this time, I thought you wanted me to drop off the face of the planet.”

   “All this time, I wanted you back Schroeder,” Lucy whispered, “But…you told me to leave you alone…and I listened.”

   A tear fell from Schroeder’s eyes, landing on Lucy’s hand as he held it.

   She looked up at him, he had hung his head again, but as he looked back up at her, a smile was on his face.  “You…I—I did say that didn’t I?  You did exactly what I told you to do…too bad it turned out to be the exact opposite thing I wanted.”

   Lucy smiled.  She shook her head again and whispered, “I love you Schroeder.”

   She had said it.  She said the words he could only dream that she would say to him after how he had treated her.

   “Lu—Lucy…,” he whispered.  He closed his eyes briefly, trying to sniff away the tears.  He knew what he wanted to say, and in the same way he found the ease to carve the heart into the tree, such ease that he felt as though it was beyond his control, he looked at her once more and whispered, “I love you too…Lucy.”

  “Oh Schroeder,” Lucy said, laughing happily.  She pulled him into a tight hug, continuing to laugh, filled with such happiness she didn’t know how else to let it go.

   Schroeder returned the hug.  He felt the same joy, only his might have been a bit stronger, and a bit more mixed with relief.  That embrace he shared with her now, allowed for all the sufferings of the past two years fade away.  He wouldn’t have to miss her anymore.  He wouldn’t have to hate himself for letting her go anymore.  He wouldn’t have to wonder if she was alright.  He finally had someone, he had her with him, at last.

   Pulling back from the hug, he said, “It’s getting dark.  Let me walk you to Charlie Brown’s house okay?”

   “Okay Schroeder,” Lucy said, with a smile.  It was a smile no one had seen since the days Lucy would lean on Schroeder’s piano as he played.  It was a sign that everything was the way it was supposed to be, as well as his heart being able to beat unburdened.

   She picked up the soccer ball, and Schroeder took her hand in his own.  They walked out of the woods, leaving the heart carved tree behind them.  It would be there for awhile, and even if it disappeared, the message it bore would live on.

   Schroeder loved Lucy.  Lucy loved Schroeder.

   They knew it, and so would everyone else.

   Just like they all did so many summers ago.

   “I love Lucy, my Lucy.”