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sonicinterface — How to Have a Ball
Published: 2014-03-14 00:05:59 +0000 UTC; Views: 2410; Favourites: 20; Downloads: 0
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Description
(that pun's so stale even WE hesitate to use it)A three-step primer on converting a Mobian into a sports-ready ball
By Black and White of Black & White
Do NOT try this at home! Like many of our tricks, this technique relies heavily on the principles of cartoon physics, and cannot be done without them. Unless you are in a cartoon world or follow the physics thereof for any other reason, do not attempt any of the steps listed below, as they could be fatal!
Step 1: The Vertical Compress
Stand behind the victim and rest one hand on top of their head, then push straight down as hard as you can. Ideally, the victim's torso will be flattened against their head, leaving them looking like a head with hands, feet, and a tail; their chin should almost touch the ground.
- For best effect, don't compress the victim gradually; use one strong push. Practice with a volunteer until you figure out just the right amount of force to use.
- If you're not strong enough to make the push all at once, find a way to improve the downforce. We dragons find a well-timed flap of the wings to be an effective way to do it.
- Do NOT use a tool such as a mallet to apply more force. You won't get the right shape if you do.
- Don't worry too much about precision. Cartoon physics has a way of letting things fall together perfectly.
Step 2: Sculpting
Once the victim has been squashed down, pick them up and sculpt them by hand. Press the hands, feet, tail, and any other protruding features such as large ears into the victim's body and smooth them into place, until you've converted the victim into a perfect sphere.
- Be sure to leave the victim's face uncovered! You don't want your victim to suffocate, and besides your ball will be a lot more fun to play with if you can see their facial expression.
- Again, don't fret about being precise. Cartoon physics will do the little corrections for you.
Step 3: Enjoy!
At this point, the victim should be a perfect sphere, their face, hands, and feet visible from the front. You now have an excellent sports ball, every bit as bouncy and durable as the real thing! Engage in the sport of your choice.
- Play rough! When someone is in a balled-up state, they're pretty much invulnerable, so you don't have to worry about your ball getting hurt.
- The victim will spring back to shape by themselves if you leave them alone for a little while, but if you want to restore them right away, just pinch them on opposite sides with the thumb and index finger of both hands, then pull outwards until they pop out.
- If your victim is a species with a long, uniform-width tail, like a cat or a monkey, you can turn them into an explosive cherry bomb instead of a ball. Just leave the tail sticking out so you can use it as a fuse! (And yes, your victim WILL survive the explosion. We'd never encourage this otherwise!)
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Comments: 33
Depends on the circumstances, I think.
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Yeah. I never thought of toons with tails being used as cherry bombs.
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Nor a lot of people, apparently.
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That's a pretty good idea. May I use it in a later story?
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If you think you can make it work, be my guest.
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I know I wouldnt of thought of that.
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For the last part with the character's tail sticking out. I had the idea of playing conkers, or practising for the Olympics.
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Conkers is a British schoolyard game where the aim is to break the opponent's conker by swinging your conker at it and breaking it off the string.
And the Olympic sport which I'm talking about is the hammer throw.
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That makes sense.
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I hoped that it did as I tend to have problems with explaining things.
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It's the same for you?
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Yeah, I never know how to explain things.
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Sometimes, my explanations are as clear as mud and sometimes, I use the wrong word to explain my point.
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And sometimes when I can't think of a good response, I just give a one-word answer.
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...Wait, are you mocking me?
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No, I'm just saying what I would do if I was in your position. The previous part's what I would do if I'm starting to lose interest in the conversation and I think I'm beginning to bore you.
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Great job
I had to laugh at the last paragraph about using them as a cherry bomb. I had an instant Wille E Coyote image flash through my mind.
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I bet.
(I haven't actually watched any of those cartoons in a long time.)
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I'm a fan of the Wille E Coyote/road runner and Sam Sheepdog/Ralf wolf cartoons
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It's that 'silent movie' slapstick comedy
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