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Description
The Zodiac's New-Age Waster

SIGN OVERVIEW
attributes: Feminine/Mutable/Water
the most emotional, psycholgically stunted, substance-abusin'est (see: wet) sign in the zodiac. mutable for sure, they have extreme difficulty with consequential decisions and are notorious debt-welchers and procrastinators. a lot of the time this is because they are bushwhacking through La-La-Land in a brightly painted school bus to a Grateful Dead compilation, but also because they seem to fear the responsibility of finishing things. the color is beige, like an art-blocked canvas on a particularly indecisive day, and blue like oxycontin pills.
they also have a magnetism toward green. (this one , not this one -- too Capricorn.)
planetary ruler: Neptune/Poseidon
Neptune might look unassuming off on the brink; and surely behind the majesty of the other gas giants, (not so) little Nep is just a poor sap out in the cold all by its lonesome where it's easily pitied. tear. upon closer investigation, it's a fuckin' wreck; the windiest planet in the solar system, covered by woeful storms swirling with cold, wet, foggy confusion. its moon tally is unreliable, its rings are lackadaisical and incomplete, and it took three devoted astronomers a lot of grief to track it down on a hunch-- the orbit of Uranus seemed disturbed all of a sudden, indicating something was probably leaning on it for a moment to have a good cry or a good hurl (or both.)
Neptune's inspiration, the surly Poseidon, was the god of the ocean, and also of wine and lust. he was the grumpy, hung-over, asshole brother of Zeus and was as tempermental as the sea is unforgiving-- or was he as unforgiving as the sea was tempermental... he was a moody bastard; not so much the sulking crybaby most Pisceans are, but "i don't feel well" tetchiness is a facet of the sign. he was also a bit of a man-whore, fathering all kinds of children (Wikipedia actually supplies an index) with all kinds of human and non-human ladies, even Medusa! he and Medusa made Pegasus, which outlines a typical Piscean fantasy: make pity love with impossibly crusty unloveable creature, have killer-awesome flying horse offspring. it wasn't all flowers though, a lot of the time, his aimless advances were pissing somebody else off or were just totally unwanted, like any salty, wine-breath, creepy old man with a beard. he lived at the bottom of the ocean where little light goes, in an obnoxiously-painted ranchero with dolphin appliques on it and weeds in the rock garden. it probably looked nice, once, before the years of "i''ll tidy up later" rolled in with the cannabis fog.
gets off on: martyrdom. delusions of grandeur. holding onto their childlike innocence alongside a life of hackneyed, "dem blues"-y sin. anything alcoholic. "cozy" (murky) living quarters. and a lot of the same oddball crap Aquarius is into, but Pisces is more likely to drag everyone else it knows to a glass blowing exhibition than go alone and pretend to be bored. many Pisceans are artists and musicians; whether or not they're any good depends on what their particular poison is. no poison? liar. they can also be emotionally manipulative; it's not that the emotions are fake in any respect, they just know a good sob can get you places.
can't stand: reality. having no one to blame but themselves. having nothing to do on a weekend. having to work to fund their absent-minded play-filled lifestyles (their art usually doesn't pay until they're dead.) getting caught doing something naughty, because every time means they will eventually have to be tried as an adult. when people are mean-- what a Pisces calls mean is a lot different (see: less) than what most people call mean, they're very mushy. and they are thrown into despair by the sound of parents/adult figures fighting, even if they're in their thirties themselves. any disharmony seriously upsets them-- unless they cause it, then it's just "how i feeeeeeel." rejection is a good way to make a Pisces want to die (or at least say they do so you'll take them out for one last pity drink before you delete their number and move out of town.)

the animal is the fishes, tied together at the tails. just try to work something useful or successful out of that; you can't. it's just sad and contradictory. Pisceans also love how that pathos is "built in" to their sign and not something they are particularly responsible for.
the symbol is the trident, similarly attached at the ends to form... something... that the Pisces will try to sell for boozemoney (weed money, paint money) with the rest of their crappy welded yard-art at the next third-Sunday art fair.

CHARACTER OVERVIEW
for Ka, it's not like it's her fault everything went to hell. afterall, she didn't choose her life, to be who she was. she happily does have Orly to blame for all of that. no, really! it's just that, unlike a more resolved person, she falls back on that fact instead of dealing with it in a constructive way. she leaves that up to other folks. like Terry and Co.

while the Earth is crumbling away into the nebulous, anus-like Gulf Void (the existential and physical scar left behind by Thirtyfive's Eden-busting coup,) Ka spends her days in pseudo-oblivious denial happily in the desert, working her safe, normal Earth jobs week in and week out for a few months. in light of the OVERWHELMING RESPONSIBILITY and angst of not doing everything possible to prevent the unraveling of existence, she is more than happy to wallow in the comforting normality of anonymous life on her home planet, getting in some good downtime before Earth and much of the cosmos is flushed down the Hawking toilet. hey, she's totally cut off, what's a Creatress to do? put an ad out on Craig's List "Hi I'm Major Ka, did you live in my universe once? write me here?" as if! that'd involve initiative.

in her defense (get used to that phrase in this neck of the fishbowl) there isn't a whole lot she can do, but there had to be something more than nothing at all. all she knows is, she's on Earth now, and she's conscious of her other life in Eden. it is some honest, serious "whoa" time, and what better place than New Mez, USA! plenty of peyote, and all the empty sky you can stare at on your back while asking open-ended questions. it's a good thing a willing-and-able squad like, om, THE BAD GUYS swooped in to help. a common enemy unites, you know. and at little to no cost to you! here's an ice cream, just keep your head down, and promise not to whine when you see where you'll be living.

a great example of the Precious Moments gig taking effect on a hard-hearted son-of-a-bitch does exist, and it's the case of the Ox King. when he made his way to Eden to 'rescue again' the creepy incarnation of the dead toddler he had FAILED TO PROTECT OH GOD he just happened to become trapped there by Orly and Dr. Grimm. he didn't dare try to escape then-- who can risk getting something so adorable and helpless as this child-goddess thrown into a woodchipper by a crazy eagle who's angry his public enemy #1 got away? not this Ox King.

fortunately, the fish isn't all sap and sloth, though (just mostly.) while in Eden, it was Ka's open-heartedness and childlike (okay childish) tenacity to enforce easy-going-ness that countered Orly's bleakly boring plans for the place, and kept the population suicide rate down at tolerable levels. her naive, watery-eyed Child Empress persona she kept well into her twenties even softened an orphanage-burning pragmatist like Hemmorhagehead to forego ratting the city out to the Kash'darans for possible destruction. the soft, warm, yielding persona of the fishy lady is also a superb magnet for enigmatic tough-guys like Terry, who despise any criticism but once every thousand years demand an audience for their problems. the soft, warm, yielding flesh of the fishy lady is an added bonus; most fish possess yoga-master flexibility, which bodes well for as ravenously randy a Capricorn as Terry. so the coincidence of their signs makes Ka a perfect cheap date for a strongman-wreck like the Ox King, who considers those simpler, pet-like needs (food/booze, human dignity, and unconditional affection) easier to accommodate than buying another gal actual material things and maintaining and image, or whatever the fuck women are after nowadays. i wouldn't know what else, i am a Pisces.

as sad as it makes me to say, Ka-- nor i, were ever cut out to rule anything. :/ Eden was always doomed.
don't count on this story ever getting finished, i'll die of cirrhosis well before then, Pisces i am.

Description
The Zodiac's New-Age Waster

SIGN OVERVIEW
attributes: Feminine/Mutable/Water
the most emotional, psycholgically stunted, substance-abusin'est (see: wet) sign in the zodiac. mutable for sure, they have extreme difficulty with consequential decisions and are notorious debt-welchers and procrastinators. a lot of the time this is because they are bushwhacking through La-La-Land in a brightly painted school bus to a Grateful Dead compilation, but also because they seem to fear the responsibility of finishing things. the color is beige, like an art-blocked canvas on a particularly indecisive day, and blue like oxycontin pills.
they also have a magnetism toward green. (this one , not this one -- too Capricorn.)
planetary ruler: Neptune/Poseidon
Neptune might look unassuming off on the brink; and surely behind the majesty of the other gas giants, (not so) little Nep is just a poor sap out in the cold all by its lonesome where it's easily pitied. tear. upon closer investigation, it's a fuckin' wreck; the windiest planet in the solar system, covered by woeful storms swirling with cold, wet, foggy confusion. its moon tally is unreliable, its rings are lackadaisical and incomplete, and it took three devoted astronomers a lot of grief to track it down on a hunch-- the orbit of Uranus seemed disturbed all of a sudden, indicating something was probably leaning on it for a moment to have a good cry or a good hurl (or both.)
Neptune's inspiration, the surly Poseidon, was the god of the ocean, and also of wine and lust. he was the grumpy, hung-over, asshole brother of Zeus and was as tempermental as the sea is unforgiving-- or was he as unforgiving as the sea was tempermental... he was a moody bastard; not so much the sulking crybaby most Pisceans are, but "i don't feel well" tetchiness is a facet of the sign. he was also a bit of a man-whore, fathering all kinds of children (Wikipedia actually supplies an index) with all kinds of human and non-human ladies, even Medusa! he and Medusa made Pegasus, which outlines a typical Piscean fantasy: make pity love with impossibly crusty unloveable creature, have killer-awesome flying horse offspring. it wasn't all flowers though, a lot of the time, his aimless advances were pissing somebody else off or were just totally unwanted, like any salty, wine-breath, creepy old man with a beard. he lived at the bottom of the ocean where little light goes, in an obnoxiously-painted ranchero with dolphin appliques on it and weeds in the rock garden. it probably looked nice, once, before the years of "i''ll tidy up later" rolled in with the cannabis fog.
gets off on: martyrdom. delusions of grandeur. holding onto their childlike innocence alongside a life of hackneyed, "dem blues"-y sin. anything alcoholic. "cozy" (murky) living quarters. and a lot of the same oddball crap Aquarius is into, but Pisces is more likely to drag everyone else it knows to a glass blowing exhibition than go alone and pretend to be bored. many Pisceans are artists and musicians; whether or not they're any good depends on what their particular poison is. no poison? liar. they can also be emotionally manipulative; it's not that the emotions are fake in any respect, they just know a good sob can get you places.
can't stand: reality. having no one to blame but themselves. having nothing to do on a weekend. having to work to fund their absent-minded play-filled lifestyles (their art usually doesn't pay until they're dead.) getting caught doing something naughty, because every time means they will eventually have to be tried as an adult. when people are mean-- what a Pisces calls mean is a lot different (see: less) than what most people call mean, they're very mushy. and they are thrown into despair by the sound of parents/adult figures fighting, even if they're in their thirties themselves. any disharmony seriously upsets them-- unless they cause it, then it's just "how i feeeeeeel." rejection is a good way to make a Pisces want to die (or at least say they do so you'll take them out for one last pity drink before you delete their number and move out of town.)

the animal is the fishes, tied together at the tails. just try to work something useful or successful out of that; you can't. it's just sad and contradictory. Pisceans also love how that pathos is "built in" to their sign and not something they are particularly responsible for.
the symbol is the trident, similarly attached at the ends to form... something... that the Pisces will try to sell for boozemoney (weed money, paint money) with the rest of their crappy welded yard-art at the next third-Sunday art fair.

CHARACTER OVERVIEW
for Ka, it's not like it's her fault everything went to hell. afterall, she didn't choose her life, to be who she was. she happily does have Orly to blame for all of that. no, really! it's just that, unlike a more resolved person, she falls back on that fact instead of dealing with it in a constructive way. she leaves that up to other folks. like Terry and Co.

while the Earth is crumbling away into the nebulous, anus-like Gulf Void (the existential and physical scar left behind by Thirtyfive's Eden-busting coup,) Ka spends her days in pseudo-oblivious denial happily in the desert, working her safe, normal Earth jobs week in and week out for a few months. in light of the OVERWHELMING RESPONSIBILITY and angst of not doing everything possible to prevent the unraveling of existence, she is more than happy to wallow in the comforting normality of anonymous life on her home planet, getting in some good downtime before Earth and much of the cosmos is flushed down the Hawking toilet. hey, she's totally cut off, what's a Creatress to do? put an ad out on Craig's List "Hi I'm Major Ka, did you live in my universe once? write me here?" as if! that'd involve initiative.

in her defense (get used to that phrase in this neck of the fishbowl) there isn't a whole lot she can do, but there had to be something more than nothing at all. all she knows is, she's on Earth now, and she's conscious of her other life in Eden. it is some honest, serious "whoa" time, and what better place than New Mez, USA! plenty of peyote, and all the empty sky you can stare at on your back while asking open-ended questions. it's a good thing a willing-and-able squad like, om, THE BAD GUYS swooped in to help. a common enemy unites, you know. and at little to no cost to you! here's an ice cream, just keep your head down, and promise not to whine when you see where you'll be living.

a great example of the Precious Moments gig taking effect on a hard-hearted son-of-a-bitch does exist, and it's the case of the Ox King. when he made his way to Eden to 'rescue again' the creepy incarnation of the dead toddler he had FAILED TO PROTECT OH GOD he just happened to become trapped there by Orly and Dr. Grimm. he didn't dare try to escape then-- who can risk getting something so adorable and helpless as this child-goddess thrown into a woodchipper by a crazy eagle who's angry his public enemy #1 got away? not this Ox King.

fortunately, the fish isn't all sap and sloth, though (just mostly.) while in Eden, it was Ka's open-heartedness and childlike (okay childish) tenacity to enforce easy-going-ness that countered Orly's bleakly boring plans for the place, and kept the population suicide rate down at tolerable levels. her naive, watery-eyed Child Empress persona she kept well into her twenties even softened an orphanage-burning pragmatist like Hemmorhagehead to forego ratting the city out to the Kash'darans for possible destruction. the soft, warm, yielding persona of the fishy lady is also a superb magnet for enigmatic tough-guys like Terry, who despise any criticism but once every thousand years demand an audience for their problems. the soft, warm, yielding flesh of the fishy lady is an added bonus; most fish possess yoga-master flexibility, which bodes well for as ravenously randy a Capricorn as Terry. so the coincidence of their signs makes Ka a perfect cheap date for a strongman-wreck like the Ox King, who considers those simpler, pet-like needs (food/booze, human dignity, and unconditional affection) easier to accommodate than buying another gal actual material things and maintaining and image, or whatever the fuck women are after nowadays. i wouldn't know what else, i am a Pisces.

as sad as it makes me to say, Ka-- nor i, were ever cut out to rule anything. :/ Eden was always doomed.
don't count on this story ever getting finished, i'll die of cirrhosis well before then, Pisces i am.