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TCPolecat7 β A New Breed: Book 2: Chapter 22
Published: 2013-06-06 13:05:32 +0000 UTC; Views: 3909; Favourites: 6; Downloads: 167
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MLP (c) HasbroTime to ramp up this fight!
I apologize for the timing of this. I intended to release this on Memorial Day (last Monday for those of you not in the USA) but I somehow pinched a nerve in my neck while I was sleeping and it led to all sorts of doctor shenannegins. I won't get into it, but I am being treated and things seem to be sorted out... for the moment anyway.
As always, comments, critiques, and feedback are welcome and appreciated.
- Polecat
G-docs link: [link]
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Comments: 22
"the gryphoness cried grabbing the zebra painfully on his shoulders and picking her up."
*cried, grabbing; picking him up.
And I was wrong about the Prince. Not that I'm disappointed. Funny bit there, with the Discords. Makes about as much sense as anything involving him.
And, yeah, no way Spectrum dies. Someone will, I can tell, but not Spectrum.
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Not sure that is wrong there. If anything I got yelled at for too many commas. Tho I did get the wrong pronoun...
Yup, you were wrong about the Prince. The Prince in Question was Discord, tho more gets explained over time.
Heh. We shall see...
- Polecat
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I can't remember the words for what was wrong, and I think someone else might have called it earlier.
It's just a little confusing that Kaos called him "Prince Eclipse" in the last chapter. Misleading.
I was actually expecting Filigree to die, or pass out at least, the way she was fighting. She'd make a good Green Lantern.
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Heh, I intended the "Prince Eclipse" line to be sarcasm... a poke at Eclipse.
Yes, Filigree is very strong willed.
- Polecat
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Spectrum!! No!! Don't you die on me!! You're too awesome and I've spent 2 books getting to know and love you as a character! In other news Discord was really the Prince? Huh. Somehow that doesn't surprise me that much although Discord having split himself into multiple pieces was interesting. Your work on tying all of these threads together and bringing all this stuff to a head is very impressive. I knew Ultrapony would fight back eventually, I just knew it. Yes! An amazing chapter and an epic battle scene. Only thing I'm curious about is even if the teams beat Eclipse you still have Goldtalon to deal with and his godkiller. Perhaps Discord can take care of that, who knows. I eagerly await the next chapter in this book. Hope your neck feels better and don't worry about the timing of this chapter. Any day I happen to check story updates on EQD and see this story on it becomes a great day. Keep up the great work and let's see what happens next.
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Y'know, I expected a lot more people to respond like that about the ending of this chapter...
Yeah, a lot of people seemed to make the guess about Discord. I guess I wasn't quite as subtle as I thought I was.
Only a few more chapters left (2 and an epilogue to be precise) so yet, things are about finished for book 2. I'm glad you're enjoying the ride...
- Polecat
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Well, you technically haven't shown Spectrum's death yet, so I think the rest of us are just hanging on to the hope that she'll survive by being cliffhanger fodder. After all, this sort of thing was in Discord's plans, and while he may have a mean streak he wasn't all darkside when he set things in motion.
As for the whole "Discord~Prince" thing, the fact that he had someone named "Kaos" with reality warping powers was kind of a tip off. Still, you played it straight enough that there was a good deal of uncertainty as to who the benefactor actually was (it DID seem to be shaping up to be eclipse for a bit).
You write really long battle scenes, that's gotta take a lot of effort!
Godkiller looks to be shaping up as a means to finish Eclipse off, or somehow as a setup for Book 3. Either way, there's certain to be some serious fan splattering in the next few chapters.
Very good, as always!
(Oh, and missing letter "w": "Spectrum yelped as her other shoulder [w]as pushed back into place")
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True, but Discord didn't specify the exact events. He's playing a game with what he foresaw. Not everything is going according to plan.
I did play it straight and seeded the hints, you are correct. Still, I try to be subtle.
I find these huge actions scenes so hard to write too. It's so much easier to write these characters talking with each other...
Godkiller has more to go...
Glad you enjoyed it!
- Polecat
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page 13, middle: "βVERDIGRIS!β the gryphoness cried grabbing the zebra painfully on his shoulders and picking >>her<< up." - gender swap
page 20, last paragraph: "Celestia's eyes were drawn from the horrible scene as the shape-shifting mare moved >>passed<< her." - I am not sure if it is wrong or not, I remember reading a similar line somewhere else but shouldn't it be "past"?
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Good catch on the first one. I think the second one is technically correct, but it would read less awkwardly if I used "past"...
- Polecat
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Huh, well that is impressive that Junkyard managed to so quickly and creatively compensate for that lost arm.
And for people who were at each other's throats before, the element bearers and the Prince's crew work together surprisingly well.
Huh... well that was unexpected... Discord's machinations, how and why part of him was that statue... though it does all make sense.
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Throughout history, bitter enemies have temporarily put aside rivalries to fight a common threat. Whether this is ponies fighting an otherworldly demon or rival street gangs banding together to push back foreign aggressors, the same principle applies. This doesn't mean, by any means, that they are friends and that they won't try to kill each other the minute the external threat is ended.
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This "book" was pretty convoluted in the way the strings all tied together. I'm rather proud of the fact I was able to bring all those threads into a nice neat knot...
And of course stab a horn through it for good measure.
- Polecat
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Heh, naturally.
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Ha! I called it! Discord! Boom!
When a crying Indigo said she had found her mother I just about lost it, assuming the worst. As minor as it may seem, I am sooo glade Indigo and Honey are still okay.
I liked how you kept Discord cannon, yet put him back in the statue, bravo, but let me see if I understand this. Mare-Do-Well, and the headsets, were Discord who had split himself years ago for a prank that ended in disaster. The headset part of Discord was still Discord in all aspects except with drastically diminished power, yet Mare-Do-Well was unaware of the fact that she was Discord and thus had her own life, dreams and ambitions, which where immediately erased and overwritten when she melded with the headset Discord? That seems a little dark.
Excellent chapter, one of your best. I can't wait for the next chapter!
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A few people called Discord, I carefully didn't answer.
Yeah, I like the characters for both of Honey and Indigo. Technically one of my editors came up with the idea for them, and they clicked.
Okay, to explain, the Prince turned himself into the headsets so that he could be sneaked onto the palace grounds. Mare-Do-Well was another aspect of Discord, but he intentionally kept the memory of that from her so that she couldn't give herself (and thus him) away to the Princesses. Technically she was always part of the whole, but didn't know it.
I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter.
- Polecat
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We then get into what makes a pony a pony. Mare-Do-Well may have come from Discord, but without that memory, was she her own pony? She seemed to have her own life, opinions, dreams, feelings and goals. Does that maker her a pony? Same goes for Zilch, she is a magical construct, however, she appears to have sapience but as she is not flesh and blood, is she a pony? Will she be escorted to the Summerlands by Princess Celestia when she dies? What defines life and what makes someone a person/pony? Mare-Do-Well appeared, by all accounts, to be a unique and complete soul. She made chooses that Discord would not have made, she had friends and a life. What happened to her? Does she still exist inside Discord or are her hopes and dreams gone forever?
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These are all good questions, but many of them are philisophical in nature, which means I don't have good answers for you....
I can say that some of that will be addressed when I get around to writing book 3, but even I don't yet know what angles I'll be taking on that yet. I only have the most basic of frameworks worked out for that yet.
- Polecat
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We are close to the end yes? two or three more chapters?
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Aye, only a few more chapters. I actually have them written, they're in editing now.
- Polecat
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And you said I didn't know who Prince was... well obviously I was right.
Last Thoughts: Coup de' gras... or is it? I know what's going to happen and why it happens the way it does. Nice job on that by the way. How many noodle incidents is that now?
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I said I wouldn't give anything away too.
"Noodle incidents"?
- Polecat
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