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TwilitTiger — I'm a disappointment.
Published: 2013-10-01 12:47:31 +0000 UTC; Views: 576; Favourites: 27; Downloads: 0
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Description
A thought that always lingered in the back of my head, and is starting to solidify itself after looking through the art I stored. I'm probably going to delete nearly all of it. I always feel like I let others down, as well as myself when I make art. I always feel like commissioners, art trade people, etc are lying when they say they like what I've made them (whether that's true or not). It makes me afraid to make/take any more offers for anything. I don't know why I keep drawing. I don't want to disappoint anyone anymore.I've never really told this to anyone, but I've felt it for a long time. What do? :/
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Comments: 41
I really like the stuff you've made me! one of the bookmarks (the zarkine one) I use in my diary
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Oh wow, I almost forgot about zarkine |D I've made so much art that I can't remember anything anymore T__T
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Keep drawing and taking commissions cuz you can always improve and by doing commissions you make others happy with the end result and a great picture. If you didn't like the picture figure out what you didn't like and try to fix it and practice so you can be better the next time.
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No problem I always like to help
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Get your shit together, silly!
When you're done, tell me then I will commission you
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Wahh, I'm sure I'll get my shit together when I can actually sleep ;-; I've maybe slept 5 hours in the past week, and I don't know why I have such bad insomnia right now. I'm always more depressed and angsty when I'm sleepless, and this pic/confession stems from that OTL
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Youre not the only one with depression and sleep problems out here!
Drawind is the only thing that keeps me alive right now,
so be proud of what you can do!
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Haha, certainly xD; I'm glad I'm not as depressed as I was before. Maybe since I'm out of my house now, that makes it better. My home is drama all over OTL
Drawing's like the only thing I'm remotely good at, even though I don't like what I make 99% of the time >__>; My sister's the writer, my brother the musician, and me the artist. We could totally make an album together or something, haha.
But anyway, thanks for the kind words! ;-; <3
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Youre also not the only one that isnt happy with his work!
I do believe you have a nice family so be happy that youre not alone!
No, not nice words. Im angry that you can apreciate what you have!
What talent you have!
So only strikt words!
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Oh, I'm sure I'm not. Just one of the many xD;
Eh, my family at home's pretty crazy. When I was younger I actually contemplated running away or doing something of the sort to get away. I've had to leave my house for a few days at a time before because my dad goes nuts. :/ I've learned to deal with it more now, but sometimes it's a huge stresser. Another stresser is that one of my brothers is disabled, so trips to the hospital are very common (he had a lung taken out so he only has one, and he has a trach and feeding tube). He's been there for 6 months before, 3 months twice I think, and a series of weeks quite a bit. It made me scared to leave the house to come here to Finland (Actually, he was in the hospital shortly after I came here because he got a really rare and harmful flu, and his immune system couldn't handle it). But alas, I manage OTL
<3
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I hope everything will be alright
you are a very strong person!
Just to mention: thats very nice to hear some personal things from such an awesome artist but please be careful who you tell how much information about you. Some awful things are going on here on dA
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Awww well thank you! I've been through quite a lot, so I guess that's made me a bit tougher xD <3
I like being personal with people :'3 I feel weird just being a block of a person and being so flat. I like expressing myself instead of just saying hi or thank you all the time. : D And yeah, quite a few bad things happen on DA if you know where to look.
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You seem to be a really kind and awesome person!
Im Kari, nice to meet you
*offers hand*
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You too! :'D
I'm Remy! C: I'm kinda weird but that's okay.
//surprise hug
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Added to friend list!!
Wierd is the best x3
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Seriously don't give up. You have a wonderful talent and you shouldn't let what others think get in the way of it. You can draw way better than I can and I look up to you. I really appreciate your art and there's nothing wrong with it. You definitely didn't let me down. If you feel like your art isn't good enough then you try your hardest to improve. Every artist is always improving everyday and you can't just quit. This feeling only has as much power as you give it. I believe in you. Don't give up on art.
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Sorry for such a late reply, but I wanted to reply to all of these comments eventually, so better late than never, haha. But thank you for you kind words 
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Anytime hun. c: I think we all feel like that at some point.
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as Ahk said. DRAW DRAW AND DRAW SUMMORE. You have a style. An awesome style. Your coloring is becoming more refined and awesome at a fast pace.
Honestly, people commission you in the first place because they WANT your art. They LIKE/LOVE YOUR art.
I am honest with people when I receive art I commissioned for. If I felt it wasn't up to par with their normal skill or what I ordered I would offer suggestions on improvement.
I send compliments your way often enough I think you can at least trust I adore your work right? You and animalartist are 2 of the Only 4 people I have commissioned with cash!
I don't go out of my way and get all excited over art I don't like or people I don't care for. And if you haven't noticed, I get pretty excited about most of your work XD
Even if I don't comment I still think to myself (wow I love the way she sketched and shaded this, Watching her has really helped me on my art journey, it's inspiring for someone so young to have that skill already.)
Please don't delete anything you have done for me I love it all ;-;
Thoughts like that are sad and try to interfere all the time. We can mope for a little while but then kick that voice away and show it you have a passion and you ain't gunna stop.
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Why u?
Your watercolors are awesome! ;-; Even I feel this way sometimes, we aren't other people, and it can feel tat way sometimes. But I think you should remember that people order your stuff in teh first place because they love your work. They want something unique by YOU, made by you, for them. Same with trades.
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wowtotallylatereplyignorethatfact
I just feel like my art's never enough, and that no one's satisfied. I'm not satisfied myself. I feel like when I finish a trade or commission, it's never what the person wanted. And sometimes the tone I feel from what they say makes me feel it more ;-; It could be in my head, but in real life usually my thoughts are right. Dx
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All the best artists think their work is terrible. The name of the author escapes me (maybe it was Hemmingway?) but a very famous author apparently burned nearly all of his written works because he wanted no one to see them. You are an excellent artist, you're just holding yourself to unreasonable standards. There will always be someone better than you.....there will always be plenty of people who are worse than you too (I can provide you some entertaining links if it'll make you feel better). The most important thing is that you keep drawing, so you can keep improving. I personally think you should hang onto that old art....it's a template of your progression. Take a look at the first piece of art you posted on Deviantart, then one of your more recent ones. You'll see; you HAVE improved. And you'll keep on improving so long as you keep drawing.
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aww, i'm sorry you feel this way, but I'm sure you don't disappoint anyone. You're art is amazing, how could they not love it?
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Wah, I'm sure I have in the past. We'll see about the future. There's always someone that's against you. *has had many trolls in the past* ;~;
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Trolls will be trolls. Not much you can do bout them, but any real person, if they commissioned you, it's because you're a great artist and i'm sure that they really liked/loved what you did. You shouldn't be so hard on yourself.
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Absolutely not! Your watercolors are awesome, and although you have a lot of variation in skill level from one piece to another, it's just a mark of someone who's learning.
Heck, I know for a FACT you aren't a disappointment.
Have you read my journal I posted recently on the subject? I think it could help you, it fits exactly this place you're at: fav.me/d6ly1zo
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Aww, you are NOT a disappointment, you never have been. Almost every time something from you comes into my inbox, I sit and stare at it for ages and just take in how much talent and effort went into it, and aspire to learn to be even a fraction as good as you are, especially with character designs, poses and shading. I don't think people are lying - if they didn't think your art was amazing like I do, then they wouldn't have commissioned you in the first place.
And DON'T YOU DARE delete all of your art, I swear I'll set a thousand rabid weasels on your house if you do. I don't know where you live, but believe me, if you delete your art... I will find out.
To be honest, I know what you're feeling - even my newest deviation, that animation I made, I ended up hating it and was going to delete it both from dA and the original file since I was so embarrassed of it, but after several people shouting at me not to do so, I left it up.
Finally, even if you decide for some crazy reason that you don't like your art - don't delete it. Instead leave it up as a reminder to yourself and as motivation to strive and improve. Focus the emotion into something productive.
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As being someone who has received a few of your pieces through trade (and once I get enough money, through commission if you're open) I'm always happy with what I've received from you. You stand alone pieces are phenomenal as well! Your sense of color and depth are just astounding and your anatomy is out of this world. Your work doesn't disappoint but I understand that feeling.
Trust me, though. Your work is far from disappointing. The only thing you can really do if you don't want to give up on drawing (I plead that you don't because your work is a huge inspiration for me) is to keep painting until you get to that point you don't feel like a disappointment. I understand that feeling when your work seems unsatisfactory and many people's comments over the internet don't usually help. However, realize that your work never disappoints.
/endbabbling
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This drawing is amazing though!! To be honest all your art completely astounds me. You're one of the artists I look up to most- and one of the ones I most enjoy seeing art from in my notifications. :3 You're amazing!
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Awww, thank you ;;
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That comment by *SimulatedSet04 pretty much said what was on my mind. x3
You've got some serious talent, hun. 
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Bawww you ;3; I could say the same to you man, don't get yourself down over your work- it's honestly one of the most amazing styles I've ever seen ;~; <3
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It's sad that you feel this way, but it is by no means an uncommon feeling to have. I stopped drawing for a few YEARS because of this + knowing there were always artists better. Which there always will be. And, tbh, I go through patches of it now still! I've found what helps is that you are willing to give your time to give requests/trades/commissions to these people. Of course we're never sure entirely how truthful they were being with their comments...sure, some days you know you should complete a commission and it doesn't always come out to your best standard. If the person who asked art of you doesn't really appreciate it (even if it's not WOWOMGAMAZING) frankly, they are being a bit stupid.
And as for your OWN perception of your art...try to look back on what you have achieved. Sometimes I look at it as "well I'm not as committed to any else as this and I suppose my other skills pale in comparison and art is still valued (but let's not get on to the subject of what type) so hey I AM pretty damn good." Yeah I think you have to big yourself up TO YOURSELF sometimes. Not in a bigheaded sense, ofc c:
I hope you can get past this. I may not be the most active watcher but I can see the effort that goes into your work (hell yeah this is biased since I watch you but I don't care Cx)
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Hi there! I suddenly stumbled across this deviation through the front page. I shortly looked through gallery, and for all it's worth, I saw nothing disappointing there at all. Quite the opposite actually, seeing as I thought that gallery was not only filled to the brim with potential but also clear talent. I've never had a talent for drawing and thus I will most likely never become professional despite my endless years of training. In my mind the talent resides in observing something and then bringing it forth on paper after shoving it through a process of artistic creativity. You seem to have a very good eye for detail, colouring and shadows as well as anatomy, and if I had your talent, I would feel very proud indeed. And as should you 
Sincerely
A stranger who stumbled upon your artwork.
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Wahh, the front page?! That's embarrassing ;~; But anyway, thank you for such kind words, and I apologize for the late reply! I lost internet for a few days after I posted this and I'm just like, a little shocked from the comment load on this, haha. I've come to accept that I won't always be happy with what I make, since even if I do like it after it's done I'll end up disliking it in the future, but I just wish my eyes wouldn't go straight for the bad parts I notice afterwards xD I'd really like to work on anatomy, but no matter how hard I try, it barely improves :C
But seriously, thank you so much, random stranger. You're so sweet ;u;
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I honestly don't think they're lying at all-- I'm hell as not. lD As I've told you before, you make a lot of people happy with your art-- you haven't disappointed anyone, and I highly doubt you ever will.
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I feel like some are though, like more than positive. orz I can't really word how to say why now, but maybe I'll be able to later OTL Gotta go to a meeting right now. eAe
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More, than positive, you mean like to the point of where it doesn't seem real? Well, again, it's a fabulous thing to get an art from a talented artist like you, they're probably really, really happy.
And meetings, oh my god, the bane of my existence. c.c I'm here if you wanna talk, broseeeph <33
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Yeah, just some like...signs I guess that tell me that someone doesn't like something (I get the feeling from it because I do similar things sometimes if I'm not happy with something).
Wahhh yeah it was 5 hours man. well, like an hour of walking and bus riding and 3.5 ish hours of talking @_@
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