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we-r-nomad — FMP Tech Update 08: Behemoths
Published: 2010-04-03 04:17:06 +0000 UTC; Views: 16276; Favourites: 86; Downloads: 424
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Description
Both capital ship and set piece for their infamous "Recruitment Drive", FMP's Behemoth Type Orbital Megadreadnaughts are feared throughout the known multiverse.Though the Disintegrating Lightning Ray arrays that bristle along their hulls have remained silent since securing victory back in the war of robot indepedence, the Behemoths have adapted well to their new role of securing vast quantities of FMP's most cherished natural resource-- maids.
While veteran Behemoths, like the "Destroy All Humans" pictured above can eclipse a sun with Seekers and capture damsels by the starship load, they still have to transport their "recruits" to FMP for full maidification.
Newer Behemoths, presently in development, will boast onboard factory blocks so this task will be able to be completed during transit.
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Comments: 231
That's the one thing about being an AMAZON trooper. There's no mystery as to what will happen if you get caught.
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I guess I do know what would happen to a P.O.W.
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Lol. They could just go to the Twi`lek home world or make a deal with The Hutts? "What do want for slave girls Jabba?" XD I did notice lack of Babylon 5 girls in your gallery.
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Babylon Five.
So many good shows, so little time.
In addition to Ivanova, and that cute, red headed psychic chick who actually developed a taste for being tied up by show's end, (Jakaar, you lucky bastard!
It would be a down right honor to take on Earth Force.
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If Ivanova escape recruitment she`ll go back with a fleet. I think Earth Force would be hard to beat.
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Sorry no. Earth Force ships move with reaction control thrusters, use rotating sections to make up for their lack of artificial gravity, and boast mere missiles, kinetic energy weapons and the occasional megawatt class laser. They'd fare no better against FMP than they did against the Membari.
Maybe when they get more Excalibur Class ships online.
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You forgot about the shadow tech but I think they only had 2 ships built from what they got from them. Here`s a thought - the Centari like the idea and start there own recruitment drive they get in each others way and there`s a war.
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True enough, and as we discussed earlier, they'd be barely a challenge to FMP. Not that the Centauri would be any more of a challenge either. Earth just has hotter chicks.
The Membari would present a challenge, as would the Shadows and the Vorlons. Either of those three--that would be a fight.
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I thought about the Membari but they were kinda bald too (I don`t know if bone count.) The best fight would be the Alliance that fought the Shadows or the Third space aliens.
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FMP really tries to avoid fights that don't increase its stock of babelicious babes.
Since the Vorlons are all wise, eingmatic, and most importantly-slow to anger, a confrontation with them can be avoided. Since no one is going to maidify a bone-headed Membari, conflict with them can similarly be avoided.
As there are no maids in Thirdspace, it's unlikely FMP will ever visit. Lovecraftian horrors don't look flattering in heels.
The only problem would be the Shadows.
All their Battle Crabs use sentient beings as a biological operating system. If even one of them is maid worthy, that obligates FMP to engage their entire fleet, extract their "operating systems" one by one, and maidify them.
Since BattleCrabs are only 2/3 the size of a Star Destroyer, scooping them up wouldn't be that much of an issue. The robots would have to deal with that whole "Reaching out to any and all surrounding machines" tendency, but if they can lick that they'll have a bevy of maids guaranteed to "Do as their told!"
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If FMP take a good look at the B5U they would think Earth Force was the best option. Low tech and lots of ladies. Right?
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Yes, but you underestimate the power and depth of robot avarice. All those potential maids, going to waste inside Shadow Battlecrabs.
I suppose they could console themselves by saying those women are still serving machines. Buts what's servitude without garter belts?
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Haha. That`s a lot of ships to hunt down and there might not be a maid worthy prize inside. I wonder if the Shadow would just give them what they want if they cause a little trouble and would they do it in return for pre programmed maids?
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Kinder Surprise meets fleet warfare?
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For one thing, AMAZON cuold never trust the thing. There would be no way to completely "clean" it to anyone's satisfaction.
Another reason is economics. While they look and sound impressive, mega-ships like this never give a good return on the investment in "men" and materials needed to build them.
Look at the Death Star. The first one blows up a single planet before being taken out by a couple squadrons of fighters, and the second was destroyed by the Rebel Fleet before it had even left the shipyard.
While the Death Star is fiction, real world efforts to build massive weapons systems, like the Nazi's Maus and Ratte tanks, or the Allies Habakkuk, bear this out.
While AMAZON isn't some scruffy bunch of rebels, neither have I seen anything to suggest they have the resources to maintain something as large as a Behemoth.
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Your comment reminds me of stories I've heard of the German surface navy during World War One. It was an impressive fleet to be sure, but it's ships were so expensive that the German leadership was almost afraid to scramble them, lest they lose the considerable investment they represent.
I figure the single-minded Synthetic Sentients of FMP, with their computer brains, are just inherently superior accountants than biological military planners and be able to organize their finances, allowing them to have their fleet and use it too.
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Oops, my above comment was supposed to be a reply to korblborp's asking why AMAZON wouldn't keep a captured FMP ship.
And I'm not saying I dislike the Behemoth, it's just that from a human's (and AMAZON's) perspective the fact that the FMP is spending enormous amounts of time and materials building huge, slow, and unwieldy (though very impressive) ships like these instead of fifty more useful Star Destroyer sized craft is a plus.
I think if you're going have the FMP deploying ships like the Behemoth you need to give them an enemy worthy of using them against.
Something like say, the Borg.
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Oh I see what you were saying about AMAZON not possessing the resources to make use of a megadreadnaught.
Even if they managed to bring it home, and avoid getting captured by its endless host of onboard fugitive suppression systems, its control systems are so robot-centric that the war would quite possibly be over by the time the adapted to ship for their use.
The phrase "catching a tiger by the toe" comes to mind.
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"General Kenobi, Years ago, you served my father in the Clone Wars; now he begs you to help him in his struggle against the FMP. I regret that I am unable to present my father's request to you in person; but my ship has fallen under attack and I'm afraid my mission to Alderaan has failed and I shall soon be bound and gagged and wearing a tight, skimpy, saucy little maid's costume. I've placed information vital to the survival of the rebellion into the memory systems of this R2 unit. We've discovered that one of the Disentigrating Lightning Ray ports on the FMP's new Behemoth Megadreadnaught Class is actually a disguised on/off button! If we can develop a fighter in the shape of a giant hand and give that particular port the finger, the Behemoth will be helpless while Windows-9,769® reloads! My father will know how to retrieve the data. You must see this droid safely delivered to him on Alderaan. This is our most desperate hour. Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi; you're my only hope.”
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Too bad the little droid is going to see the writing on the wall, and join the FMP.
They'll probably give the maidified princess to the droid as a reward for its cooperation.
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Hmmm... 
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"Come on, you heard the message, we have to go and oogle -- I mean *help* her!"
"Who's this 'we,' farmboy? You're staying here. Probably get a nosebleed the second you saw her...."
"But Haaaaan...!"
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looks like the bots got a huge zeppelin in their disposal now
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hemm i wonder if it along the lines of one of the starcraft protoss carrier.
[link]
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I play no video games or RPG's. Any similarity between anything I think up and the former is strictly coincidental.
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Hehehe, now it's the star destroyer getting chased down, boarded and getting it's princesses taken prisoner.
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this is going to be a pain in the ass to raid, you magnificent bastard.
i REALLY need to get more work done on those fics......
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"if I walked the movie would be over"
cool design! wonder if it gets ludicrous speed? XD
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They can maintain control while "going plaid!"
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That's got to be the second-largest capitol ship I ever did see!
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I hope it has a better way to get from the end of the ship to the main bridge than the Space Ball's main ship. Running in heels from one end to the other would be killer.
My gosh I feel old referencing that movie.
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ok what if they fall down huh?
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There are always plenty of helpful Robolord overseers nearby who will be glad the help them up.
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dammit i need an icon
but idk what
maybe the face of my OC im making (male representing me in a cooler tougher person)
or some random picture
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Too true...hopping from the back of the ship forward would take a long time. More than a movie's worth of time at least.
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I'm afraid not alot of accommodations are made aboard Behemoths for the hobbled and latex clad. Most of those responsible for the actual operation of an orbital megadreadnaught have wheels, or caterpillar treads for increased mobility.
Those that don't outright hover anyway.
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When are you going to develop a hover corset for you overworked captives? The Intergalactic Humanoid Rights Advocate Society will hear of this. We'll send Miss Debra Irene Dallas, our lawyer, to discuss this with you.
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FMP is an interstellar empire, and that's not counting our incredibly profitable teddy bear manfactoring business. (How else do you think we fund the construction of Behemoths?)
If you're serious about negotiations you should be willing to send a whole team of lawyers.
Heh, there's no "MMMMPH!" in "TEAM".
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Hmmm, I thought I caught a sub-space pay per view channel with "Earth Girls Are Easy" and "Bondage Babes A Go-Go" being transmitted from FMP?
Ok..but not the interns.
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Of course, feel free to leave your young shapely interns alone, unprotected, and gathered in one place back at your legal offices. I'm sure they'll be fine.
* After an annoying long commercial space flight, Debbie debarked with her legal team to meet with the representatives from the mysterious FMP. When they entered the meeting room in the interstellar conference center, they were greeted by FMP's most popular expert--bound and gagged maids.
Half a dozen women; stuffed in shiny, film-like dresses, whose plunging necklines proclaimed the cleavage of their tightly packed bosoms, pushed obnoxiously forward by the fact that their elbows and wrists were sealed together behind their backs; hopped to the threshold in obedient, mind-control unison. Their spike heels spoke as one as the women bounded across the carpeted floor.
When they came close, Debbie realized that she recognized the six pairs of eyes staring blankly at her from beneath their glowing forehead chips--They were the interns she left at the office!
As Seekers silently glided into the room from the far door, Debbie remembered that Behemoths were much faster than everyone thought.*
Love the scene in "Earth Girls are Easy" where Geena Davis uses the bandages of a traction patient to tie up the evil nurse.
Truly a classic
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