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YouInventedMe β tread quiet, tread deep
Published: 2009-01-14 19:48:57 +0000 UTC; Views: 2819; Favourites: 112; Downloads: 16
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Description
night is the stale scentof collected breaths
leaving the light on
in spite of despising it
the almost never silent
the blood
and the body
hope is a half-truth
hope lies in hiding it
the days rest their weight
in the lines of your face
imperfect permanence
they age
and they ache
skin's a scribbled-on postcard
sincere and unsent
and a memory's
forever
(where you left it)
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Comments: 149
Thank you. Also, hello. Also, I'm sort of back.
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this is so seamlessly beautiful, through and through
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Thank ya much.
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I agree on the close being great. Β I think that using the parentheses keep the poem going.... Meaning that it keeps the mind turning over the concept of whether one is creating "forever" by depositing memories there or whether we it's already there and we put things there because they stay preserved and constant there- or combination of both. Anyway, doing that as gently as you did, is an art in itself. Β
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Thank you, my friend. This comment means a lot.
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Clever turns of phrases. The close is delightful.
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skin's a scribbled-on postcard
sincere and unsent
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Thanks for reminding about this one ...
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thank you very much.
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thanks very much
xo!
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skin's a scribbled-on postcard
sincere and unsent
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I usually spout great gobs and gushes of compliments and flattery and encouragement amongst other things but here... I find myself speechless.
This is a pure work of art. 
I can only begin to imagine the state of mind required to make a poem like this one 
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thank you very much
xo!
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Hey! No need to thank me
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how hard is it for you to make every word perfect in a poem?
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it's impossible
xo!
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This, my dear Shane, is a powerful poem of during and after. I feel your speaker half-lit, whose pains of the past are engraved deep in impenetrable shadows that cut through a worn landscape, sitting over the side of a cold bed with head in hands and remnants behind, hurting hurting. And too, I feel the way this poem brushes past nearly intangible, but biting like a cold winterβs breath. Ah, and how "they ache"! This is all to say: I very much enjoy these darker diversions of yours into deeper waters.
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thank you, sir.
always a pleasure
to hear from you.
xo!
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I always love your clever expression of things and how the poems flow so beautifully.
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thank you very much
xo!
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very nice and has just the perfect lyrical touch to it.
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thank you very much
xo!
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hope is a half-truth
hope lies in hiding it
Those lines made a personal connection, made me love this.
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thankyouthankyouthankyou
xo!
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the days rest their weight
in the lines of your face
imperfect permanence
they age
and they ache
This section makes the poem,it's perfect
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thanks so much
xo!
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"the days rest their weight
in the lines of your face
...
skin's a scribbled-on postcard
sincere and unsent"
Very good lines. I was pondering a poem with similar descriptions.
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much obliged. look forward
to seeing your poem.
xo!
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Wow, this is one of my faves from you 
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