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zyclone — Open Heart Boy
Published: 2005-09-13 18:32:07 +0000 UTC; Views: 348; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 6
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Description
Open heart boyHad an open heart
A big hole in his chest
With his ribs wide apart
His heart was so pretty
So shiny and bright
People would stare
Mesmerised at the sight
But then he hit puberty
His heart got cold
All weird and ugly
And wrinkly and old
He hated his chest
And he used to fear
That his heart beat too loud
And everyone could hear.
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Comments: 4
Thats very fucking good actually.
How old are you?
This pretty much sounds like akward common take high school.
In other news, the Visual takes the instant win.
Brilliant.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I'm 15... it wasn't really about me or anything, I just found the concept of a boy with a hole in his chest quite amusing, and then I found an emotional concept to it. I kinda like that now, I'll make him a character - your stereotypical high school kid.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Hey, its not bad or anything.
I just found the common elements really transparent in the work.
Nicely done.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1