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Description
Franchise: Halo

Real Name: Bill Swindells

Faction: Swindells Inc., Himself, Impulse Buy, Mankind’s Children (Formerly), Dragon’s Den (Formerly), Raw Deal, Shakedown Co., Shakedown’s Shack, The Banicrons, Banicron Dark Ops, The Strykers  

Artificial Intelligence (A.I) Companion: K.A.S.P.E.R- K.A.S.P.E.R, or Knowledgeable App with Super-Private Encrypted Records, is a companion after Bill's own heart- he's just as much the capitalist he is, he's got every trick of the trade in his personality matrix to really sell you what he wants to sell you, he's cunning, and he's just as greedy as his creator. K.A.S.P.E.R was made by Swindells initially as a companion to help him keep track of his business and run it effectively at all times, as well as provide an advantage to him in conversation and just everyday activities, but since Swindells saw great opportunity for business in the Banicron Movement on High Charity during the Great Schism, Bill decided to use blueprints for the Wetwork-Class MEGINGJORD Powered Assault Armour to use as a mercenary for the Banicron Revolution, and from then on K.A.S.P.E.R has been a combat support intelligence, helping Bill Swindells live out his secret double-life as Shakedown, an arms dealer, mercenary and commando of the Banicron Strykers team. K.A.S.P.E.R’s holographic avatar is usually purple and is that of a young, rather sleazy looking salesman wearing a shiny, patterned tuxedo, which sometimes has a bowtie on, sometimes doesn't. It basically just depends on what K.A.S.P.E.R feels like wearing that day, but as K.A.S.P.E.R is also a known asset to Swindells Inc., he will sometimes be seen holographically at meetings and parties and so forth, and can change his clothing to match whatever he is attending or overseeing.

Age: 40

Rank: CEO

Height: 6.4ft

Species/Nationality: Human, American

Birthplace: Garos

Citizenship: UEG/Terran, Banicron

Job: Con Artist, CEO of Swindells Inc., Owner and Proprietor of Impulse Buy, Arms Dealer, Venture Capitalist, Reality T.V Host, Owner and Leader of Shakedown Co., Proprietor of Shakedown’s Shack, Mercenary, Commando, Member of The Strykers

Nicknames/Title: Shakedown (Alias), Interplanetary Arms Dealer, Swindle, The Wolf of New Mombasa, The Con Man, The Yard Salesman From Hell, Hustler, Dishonourable Con Artist, Silver-Thief, Smooth Criminal, The Real Garosian Oligarch, Pyramid Schemer, Banicron Businessman, Sweet-Talking Bandit, Double-Lived Swindler, Greedy Bastard, Raw Dealer, Shelby Forthright, Mr. Buy'N'Large, Lord Business, President Business, That/Capitalist, Greedy Capitalist, Capitalist First, Moneyman, Money-Making Machine, The Entrepreneur, Dragon No.4, The Artist of the Deal, "You're Fired", Michael Jackson Superfan, The Dealer of Doom, Donald, Jordan Belfort, Booster Gold but a Bad Guy, Future President of the United Earth Colonies, Greasy Wall Street Billionaire, The Other Wolf of Wall Street, Charles Ponzi, Looter, The Once-Ler, Lovable Salesperson, Stryker, Corpo Asshole, Evil Tony Stark, Galactic CEO (Possible Future)

Gender: Male

Vehicles/Mounts: ‘The Wheeler-Dealer’- Dark Tan and Purple Weaponised Simone Ramondelli Mobile Armoured Office-SUV with a hidden Gauss turret and high explosive mines; Swindells-RHX Private Scramjet; Weaponised White and Gold Zenvo ST50; Weaponised Zarooq Motors Sand Racer; White Vigaro El Dorado Limousine with cyan neon lighting; ‘The Auctioneer'- A Customised and Modified Swindells Inc. Luxury Entrepeneur-Class Aerospace Yacht weaponised with all sorts of defensive and offensive weapons, as well as an access point to his personal pocket dimension, the Auctioneer is used by Shakedown as his personal starship to use when travelling the galaxy in search of opportunity for investment, trade, swindling and looting; A Sangheili 'Krol-Pattern Maritime Yacht

Voice: Identical to Fred Willard as Swindle from Transformers Animated

Eye Colour: Purple

Hair Colour: Black

Skin Colour/Race: Dark Olive White

Scars/Damage/Markings/Unusual Features: Purple Eyes

Enemies/Rivals: Anyone in competition with his businesses, Galactic Intelligence Service, Department of Colonial Security, Covenant Hegemony, Trident of Revelation, Hullat Cartel, Rightmen Salvage Company/Birds of Prey, Kig-Yar Commission

Status: Alive and Healthy

Weapons:

'Trade Off'- Close your eyes and imagine what it would be like if you could have the might of a full-blown artillery squad right at your fingertips. Now open them and realise the folks here at Shakedown Co. DO have it; with the Swindells Inc. M788 Gauss Blaster! With this superior tactical asset, you’re a walking arsenal, ready to unleash devastation upon anything foolish enough to stand in your way. Harnessing the sheer force of magnetism to propel projectiles at blistering speeds, your foes won't know what hit them as they're torn apart by the ferocious power of the Gauss Blaster. But wait! There’s more! Gauss Blaster comes with a dura-lock arm shackle, granting you the convenience and versatility of having this behemoth mounted on your arm. No more lugging around heavy artillery or cumbersome weapons. With the Gauss Blaster, your firepower is always at your side, ready to go at a moment's notice. And now introducing the Shakedown Co. Modified Trade-Off variant! In addition to all the features mentioned above, the Trade-Off fires purple-coloured, explosive beams of energy, all neatly wrapped around a high-density, devastating Gauss Projectile—perfect for keeping away dissatisfied customers. It's a good thing that Shakedown keeps this one in particular in low stock, because on higher settings, it can potentially quake small five story buildings in a fifty-square yard area, up to a 1/4 mile away, and if it were to go on sale to the public, well, THE INSURRECTIONISTS WIN.

‘Win-Win Situations’- Are you tired of those mundane explosives that just go 'boom' and call it a day? Well, hold on tight because these babies are about to blow your mind... literally! Picture this: You're in the heat of battle, surrounded by your enemies, desperately needing an edge to turn the tide. That's where these top-of-the-line M363 Sticky Detonators come in! With their advanced adhesive technology, the Sticky Detonator’s charges cling to any surface like a determined koala. Just slap it on, and watch the fireworks begin! And here's the best part: you control when it goes kaboom! That's right, folks! These handheld miracles give you the power to decide when your enemies meet their explosive fate. Simply squeeze the trigger when the time is right, and BOOM! It's like your own personal fireworks show, with you as the conductor! Get yours today and watch your enemies stick around... for all the wrong reasons!

MUTA-AP-09334 Machine Gun, Focus Laser, and Plasma Turret Options for two Swindells Inc. Shoulder-Built KX-5 Weapon Hardpoint Cybernetic Implants- Sick of being caught with your pants down? Sometimes literally? Tired of awkwardly telling homeless people you’ve got no cash to give them? Let the guns do the talking with the Swindells Inc. KX-5 Weapon Hardpoint Cybernetic Implant—the ultimate blend of cutting-edge technology and stealthy elegance that will leave your enemies guessing! With our state-of-the-art cybernetic implants, you are a walking armory, seamlessly blending into any environment while maintaining the element of surprise. The KX-5 is undetectable to the naked eye, ensuring that your enemies never see them coming. These hidden hardpoints provide you with the ability to equip a wide range of compact, lethal weapons. From concealed blades for close-quarters combat to miniaturised machine guns, focus lasers and plasma turrets for ranged engagements, these implants give you the flexibility to adapt to any situation, without even appearing armed! And now with dual-wielding capabilities, you can double your concealed firepower. It's time to make a statement, don't wait for your rivals to surpass you- seize this opportunity to secure your place at the forefront of cutting-edge weaponry. Get your hands on a KX-5 Weapon Hardpoint today and be the one who strikes first!

 ‘100% Discount Coupon’- Can you really ever have too much of a good thing? Introducing the Z-1001 Synthetic Blamite Collider! A marvel of Forerunner engineering, this beast of a weapon is built to dominate, boasting an innovative design guaranteed to make all your bounty-hunting pals jealous! With every pull of the trigger, you'll feel a surge of power coursing through your veins as the Collider delivers a barrage of death and destruction. But that's not all! This weapon comes loaded with advanced features that will leave your adversaries in awe. It's equipped with an omnispectral precision scope, allowing you to pick off your targets from afar with deadly accuracy. And let's not forget to mention its sheer versatility; it’s like having multiple weapons in one! With selectable fire modes, you can switch between rapid-fire assault mode for those up-close and personal encounters, or precision burst mode for taking out distant targets with surgical precision. The choice is yours, and the possibilities are endless! And with synthetic blamite being all the rage these days, there’s never been a better time to invest in your own Synthetic Blamite Collider. The Z-1001 Synthetic Blamite Collider, it’s a true warrior's best friend!

Standard Issue Razor’s Edge-Class Z-130 Suppressor

‘The Bottom Line’- What if we told you it was possible to use the sun…as a gun? Step right up, ladies and gentlemen, step right up, and behold the future of warfare! Feast your eyes on the 0-Infinity Solar Flare Accelerator Cannon prototype! With a blinding burst of solar energy erupting from the emitter, the sheer magnitude of destruction will leave your opponents wondering how you came to possess such unimaginable power. Now, I know what you're thinking: "What about the ammo?" Well worry not, ‘cause this baby comes with an ammunition system that never quits- it draws power from the heart of an internal, slipspace-compressed collapsed star, firing a blast of superheated stellar energy from a functionally-infinite source! And here's the cherry on top: this prototype is just the beginning! Imagine the possibilities when this technology is refined and perfected! Imagine the sweet, sweet carnage! So don't wait! Take the power of the sun into the palm of your hand, and set the battlefield ablaze!

Two Customised Golden M6H Magnums  

Q7788 Anti-Gravity Cannon- This stunning addition to your arsenal has a very special feature- it defies the laws of physics themselves! Yes, you heard that right- the Q7788 Anti-Gravity Cannon harnesses the power of anti-gravity technology to grant you an unparalleled advantage on the battlefield, allowing you to effortlessly lift objects, vehicles, and obstacles with just a flick of your wrist. When you take the Anti-Grav in your hands, you become the master of the unseen forces that govern our world. Simply activate the incredible anti-gravity field, and watch as the laws of nature bend to your will. Strategically restructure the battlefield to your specifications, and make the enemy play by your rules! But don’t limit yourself to the battlefield, the Q7788 isn't just a tool for war- think of the everyday possibilities! Need to redecorate the living room? No problem! With the Q7788, heavy furniture becomes a breeze to move around. Hosting a backyard BBQ? Lift those heavy coolers with ease, impressing your friends with your effortless strength. Spring cleaning? Alleviate some stress and let the Anti-Gravity Cannon do the heavy lifting! Remember, the sky's not the limit when you can defy gravity! Warning: the Q7788 Anti-Gravity Cannon may destabilise the the axis and integrity of any planet upon which it is used, please consult the owner’s manual for instructions on safe use. Owner’s manual sold separately.

  Experimental M96X Hydrogen Embrittlement Weapon  

Yonhet Clash-Class 3V Force Field Generators- These babies generate polarised bubble shields much superior to those of Spartan shields, allowing imperviousness to most forms of damage! They can also be used offensively, as any unwanted intruders who touch them from the outside are delivered a nasty, severe burn; but if that’s not enough, the bubble-shield can be detonated outward- sending an omni-directional blast guaranteed to clear the immediate area of any nuisances! Or your money back!

San’Shyuum Ultrasonic Immobiliser 3000- It is a wonderful device you absolutely cannot do without! This fantastic item completely absorbs and muffles all bothersome alarm system noises, which allows you to sneak around and leave your enemies entirely unaware. Don't leave home without it! But wait—there's more! It also has a hardlight restraint emitter, handy for those tight spots. So come to Shakedown Co. where we'll sell you all the Ultrasonic Immobiliser 3000s you could ever want for a low, affordable price!  

Shakedown Co. Quadruple Crusher Cannon- Reverse-engineered from a Verticus-based arms trader who would prefer to remain anonymous, the Shakedown Co. Quadruple Crusher Cannon generates bands of spatial pressure, which wrap around a target and tighten until it's been crushed beyond repair; a cosmic vice grip like no other! The Quadruple Crusher Cannon is the epitome of raw, unyielding power. It takes no prisoners and leaves nothing to identify its victims behind. Buildings crumble, vehicles are reduced to scrap metal, and even the sturdiest of fortifications succumb to its relentless force. The impact is simply Earth-shattering! Redefine destruction, with the Shakedown Co. Quadruple Crusher Cannon!

Shakedown Co. Kaboom Kreme ™- Introducing Kaboom Kreme ™, the ultimate solution for all your demolition needs! Get ready to spray, stick, and detonate your way to unparalleled destruction! Ever been in a tight fad and wished for the power to turn any surface into a ticking time bomb with just a simple spray? Sometimes wishes do come true- with Kaboom Kreme ™’s plastic explosive resin spray technology, you can covertly and precisely apply a thin layer of explosive resin to any surface- walls, doors, tank armour, you name it! Once applied, this remarkable resin becomes your ticket to controlled chaos. Simply attach a detonator, set the timer and watch as your obstacle is rendered moot! Kaboom Kreme ™ is compact, portable, and easy to use. No more lugging around bulky explosives or fumbling with complex detonation mechanisms. Just a can in your hand, and the power to reshape the battlefield. Grab your can today, and we’ll throw in a nifty set of detonators, free of charge!

Swindells Inc. S-66 Laser Gatling Gun modification mounted on his chest armour

‘Spending Spree’- Puny weapons that barely scratch the surface of your enemy's armour getting you down? Presenting a new titan of firepower, the four-barreled destroyer that will make any tank commander tremble in fear! Straight from the fires of the finest Banicron weaponsmiths, the Sarcum Workshop Death Pillar ! This monster of engineering combines the force of four barrels into a single devastating blast, obliterating anything that stands in its way. The quadruple-barreled break action anti-tank shotgun is a game-changer in the world of heavy artillery! And here's the best part: it's not just for tanks! This versatile behemoth comes packed with a detachable micro-sharpened battle axe, handy in a tight bout where you’ve found yourself spent on ammo!

Qhurtig-Pattern Type-24 Needle Repeater- Behold, the epitome of alien weaponry- a masterpiece of elegance and power that will leave your greatest trembling in fear- the Qhurtig-Pattern Type-24 Needle Repeater! Bear your teeth with this blamite bad boy and witness as the radiant needles home in on their targets, their ethereal glow captivating the battlefield, then light them up in glorious pink mist! The Needle Repeater’s unique ammunition is a spectacle to behold, as each needle seeks out its victim with pinpoint accuracy, impaling them with explosive force. Watch in awe as your enemies dissolve into a stunning display of cascading explosions! The Needler Repeater’s reputation precedes it as not just an instrument of destruction, but a work of art- an alien marvel crafted with intricate precision and attention to detail. Its ergonomic design fits snugly in your hands, giving you unparalleled control and confidence. But don't just take my word for it, folks. Try it out for yourself and experience the adrenaline rush of wielding this embodiment of otherworldly ingenuity!

Custom-Made Bolt Action Rifle with a large, thick stock

Customised and Modified Gold MA-37 Assault Rifle with a laser designator

Customised and Modified Golden DMR with a silencer and sentinel sight  

Swindells Inc. M167D Triple-Barrelled Automatic Rifle- Looking for a good ol’ “stick ‘em up” weapon? Hoping to return to a simpler time where you just rob a bank with nothing but a gun and a hard-boiled voice? Look no further, for the Swindells Inc. M167D is right in front of you! How’s that for eye candy? Sporting not one, not two, but three barrels of 7.62mm AP-T firing ammunition, bulletproof screens’ll never be a problem for you again! Take back control of the situation, strike down the authorities, and get your payday! Get an M167D now!  

Standard Issue Loathsome Thing-Class Z-180 Scattershot

Z-5540 Cosmic Ray Particle Gun

Standard Issue Vakara GesmbH SMP Ocelot

Customised Arclight-Class ARC-920 Railgun

Standard Issue Mantra-Four Selenean Defense Force Rifle   

Two Customised Pitch Black M6G Magnums with Gold Engravings and Suppressors

Armour-Mounted Habib-Dekel Utility Cutting Power Tool

Standard Issue M45D Shotgun

Z-090 Gamma Tachyon Laser

‘Limited-Time Offer’- A Z-010CE Stasis Rifle

Stellar-42 Blaster Pistol

Dealmaker Bombs- Super-Concentrated Antimatter Bombs that level city block-sized areas as opposed to entire regions of land

Forge Industries X15000 "Kill A Ton of Bad Guys" High-Density Self-Propelled Claymore Bombs
 Spike Grenades

Anskum-Pattern Plasma Grenades

Detonator- And last but not least, the device that he uses to detonate all his explosives, aside from his Sticky Detonators’ grenades, those are...how we say...sold separately.

Equipment/Paraphernalia/Personal Belongings: Extensively Customised and Modified Wetwork-Class MEGINGJORD Powered Assault Armour, Purple VISR Sunglasses, Yonhet Clash-Class 3V Force Field Generators, Collection of Bolo Ties, Slipspace-Compressed Pocket Dimension Access Point in his Briefcase and Armour Hardcase, Neural Interface Implant, Comms Implant, Vocal Repeater Implant, Skin-Cell Reinforcement Lattice Armour, Shoulder-Built KX-5 Weapon Hardpoint Cybernetic Implants, Anti-Cyberintrusion Enhancement, Holocommunicator, Holo-Drones, Collection of Designer Watches, Smart Watch, "Super Glue"- An experimental nano-resin adhesive and bonding agent in development by Swindells Inc., Technician Tools, Repair Tools, Piano Collection, Mass Amounts of Looted and Purchased Items of dubious nature lying around in his pocket dimension

Specialisation/Skills: Businessman, Salesman, Genius, Conman, Extortionist, Cheating, Demolitionist, CQC, Stealth, Escape Artist, Master Engineer, Physics, Chemistry, Hacker, Mathematician, Tactician, Multilingual, Martial Artist, Marksman, Pilot, Pianist, Economic Manipulation, Fomenting Conspiracy

Powers/Abilities: Spartan 1.1 Physiology- Increased Strength, Increased Durability, Increased Speed, Faster Reflexes, Increased Agility, Increased Stamina, Accelerated Cellular Regeneration, Increased Mental Processing, Enhanced Senses, Accelerated Metabolism, Enhanced Vision, Immunity to most illnesses, Enhanced Hearing

Personality: Quick, hide the silver! An entrepreneur with few equals, the smooth-talking Bill Swindells/Shakedown is always ready to make a deal. With a gift of gab and bluff who can wheedle people into seeing his way...at least, long enough to get what he wants. Trading extensively with many alien races and loaded down with their respective technologies, his goods are highly useful to supervillainous emperors, revolutionary generals, interstellar warlords, overzealous parking wardens, bounty hunters, and many, many others. Though nominally a Banicron, Shakedown simply views war as yet another business opportunity, one which has kept him living posh for years and could be great for his bottom line again now that it's starting back up. Shakedown is also notorious for taking time out of a mission to go looting and purchasing some interesting goods from the locals, especially when those goods could be reverse engineered for Bill Swindells to sell as his own. He wears a bolo tie everywhere, even with his armour, which is pretty damn awesome.  

He tends to use the word "taxes" as an expletive, much like how most individuals would use "Oh shit" as an expression of frustration or disappointment, Bill Swindells, whether he does so for humourous effect or if he genuinely views them as a taboo word, will commonly say "Oh taxes!" when faced with disappointment or shock or any bad news...it's probably the latter, in which case, it says alot.  

Capitalist first, Banicron second, Shakedown is a swindler, an opportunist, a hustler—or as he would put it, an entrepreneur. Unlike his fellow soldiers, he considers the war to be merely an opportunity for networking, cutting deals, and making profit. He's an expert on all manner of weaponry and their market prices, and he prides himself on being able to sell anything to pretty much anybody. Shakedown is a con man by day, and by night, well...he is also a con man, but also, an arms dealer and occasional mercenary, as well as a part-time Commando for the Banicrons. His greed and thirst for more and more and more drives him to create and build more and more.

Sneaky little bastard. He probably rips open blind-packs at the shops and sells the contents for double the price.   Bill Swindells truly has nothing but opportunity lying at his feet, he's got the UNSC in one hand, and the Banicrons in the other...both happen to be on opposing sides of war...the perfect way to maximise his profits! But wait! There's more! He's also got a third party in his..um...third hand....and that's a bunch of third parties! To which he sells arms and specific inventions perhaps not suited for the UNSC or the Banicrons but perhaps suited to the wider range of scum and villainy that the Orion Arm has to offer. If you think you won't be wooed by his charm and wit and persuaded to buy, then you're simply just wrong, why, he could sell water to a fish! If you buy from this creep, it won't be cheap!

  Swindells is the CEO of Swindells Inc., and so between the war-profiteering, the weapons-dealing, being a part-time mercenary for the Banicrons and just being an untrustworthy con man in general, he manages to get out quite a lot and do what he likes- Bill Swindells is a genius playboy…but not so much of a philanthropist. You really shouldn’t trust Bill as far as his pocket dimension can be turned in on itself and collapsed, and if Bill truly had it his way, the whole Galaxy would be a company- and he’d be it’s CEO.

 Despite being a weaselly, opportunistic sneak, Shakedown is one of the few Banicrons who could adapt without a need for conquest. After all, there will always be demand for a black market, regardless of whoever wins. He knows all he has to do is keep his chin up, and he'll always have a customer. All he needs is his disarming smile and a few charming but appropriate quips up his sleeve, and voila, business is good.   

He'd sell you for a nickel. That schemer. 

(Didn’t think his backstory would need its own google doc, but here we are: docs.google.com/document/d/1kQ… )

Quotes:

"The name's Shakedown. I am what you may call an interplanetary arms dealer. This baby is going to make a killing in the upcoming war!"

"It...it....it's not my fault! This greed…it’s like a birth defect! I was born with it!"- Shakedown, after pawning off the remains of his deceased teammates’ weapons, armour and cybernetics 

"And that's the problem I'm afraid. Unfortunately, the way even our evolved ways of living work are no different to that of animals. You see, there's a principle in nature- survival of the fittest. The animals who're cunning, the ruthless lions clawing at all the competition get to survive and prosper, and...well the animals that don't wind up being their lunch. So when I'm doing all these things...lying, swindling, manipulating, disregarding morality, it's not because I want to do all that...it’s because I have to! I'm just following what comes naturally, and greed...well, it comes naturally! That's how the big bad world works, I didn't make the rules, I just didn't argue with the God that did. So really, when you think about it, how bad can I possibly be?"- Shakedown quotes the Once-Ler in an attempt to defend himself

"Oh, taxes!"- Did he just say ‘taxes’ as if it’s a swear word?

"Maybe I should help them, or maybe I should just, help myself!"

  "What would you say if I told you that you don't have to fight Tridents of Revelation? You'd say I'm crazy, right? That I'm out of my head? Well that is exactly what I'm telling you about this amazing product from the good folks here at Shakedown.Co™!"

  "Now, at no extra charge, I'm willing to throw in these little items I picked up in a little excursion to the planet Doisac. By the way, if you should ever find yourself on Doisac, trust me, you do not want to visit the Northern hemisphere. The locals are surly, the service is lousy, and the drinks are always watered down."

"Oh...now this is just wrong. Hopefully they have a Mygarch Power Converter or at least a Prelate Shield Generator out in the open to make up for this. Oh who am I kidding? Nobody's going to leave that sort of gear lying around! You'd have to be the dumbest species in the universe to do such a thing."

"Aww taxes, and there goes this thing's resale value."- After first testing his armour and damaging it, or any time that he gets a drink spilled on his clothes.

“Here at Shakedown’s Shack, we pride ourselves on the highest quality black market items. And with our new Pirate’s Plunder Coupon, it’s bargains galore on all Eaynian and T’vaoan-manufactured goods! Everyone’s a winner here at Shakedown’s Shack, so come on down and get a taste of the pirates life!”

“Little bit of travel advice: always reserve a little something to pay off the security at Balaho’s Witgab terminus. Learned that one the hard way.”

"Not technology, or weapons, or some useless everyday products...happiness, the chance for happiness and the prolonging of happiness amongst all people is what we sell, and that's why we love Swindells Inc.!"

“The Plek-Pattern Painglass Saber! It’s a steal at this price! This energised cutlass was forged using a modified energy projector and a chemically treated Subanese crystal shard, Kig-Yar craftsmanship at its finest! It slices, it dices, it makes Swiss cheese out of landlubbers everywhere! And with fifty percent off original retail price, you get to skip the middle man! Get ‘em while they’re hot!”

"Ah nothing beats a shopping spree, especially when its all free!"

"The money man is on the move!"

“You kidding? With two Spartan-IV’s up for ransom we could make enough to retire early to Entevio on New Hakkor! Where the ale is as smooth as a baby’s bottom.” (In the future)  

“Ahhhhh, I needed that. Oh my my, what a golden opportunity."

Shakedown: "You get this ship but…what do I get?" Lugul 'Ragam: "The honour of serving Lord Turok should be reward enough." Shakedown: "Turok! Well why didn't you say so, the 'ol warmongerer's my Number. 1 customer!"

“Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to show you the greatest upgrade ever made. The Shakedown Co. Explode-o-Matic™ can blast your enemies to julienne fries with all the precision and quality you've come to expect from our products!”

"Naturally everything comes with three year warranty, excluding battle damage of course."

“I offer a wide variety of financing options.”

"The Ultrasonic Immobiliser 3000, don't leave home without it! It causes high-frequency sonic waves that can disable and disorient anything from a moving truck travelling at hyperspeed to a raging Mgalekgolo building inexorable momentum. But wait! There's more! It also has a hardlight restraint emitter, handy for those tight spots. Take a look! Picked this baby up on the Fleet of Sprightly Truants- nice folks the San’Shyuum, give you a good deal and, all the ale you can drink."  

"Wanna know where YOUR tax credits are going?"- His weapons, that's where they're going. Followed by a proud chuckle.

“By the way, if you’re ever in the market for some gen-you-ine Warlords of Otraak-Pattern Gravity Hammers, just give me a call, we got a new shipment coming in tomorrow.”  

Olivia Chiles: "Mr. Swindells, many of your most prominent critics have labelled you as a conniving swindler. Have you ever thought you might want to change your company name to one without the unfortunate implications of your current one?" Bill Swindells: "Are you crazy? Do you know how many years I've spent branding this name? Just look how many customers, from the government to the everyday citizen feel comfortable dealing with this business, you know why? Because it stands out! It's almost esoteric, this name has reached such notoriety that its actually entered the lexicon as a word meaning 'ruthless and unscrupulous businessman'. I mean, come on, you can't buy publicity like that!"- Bill Swindells explains why his name is not a curse, but a blessing for his business to ECB News Reporter Olivia Chiles.

“MJOLNIR Mark VI Power Armour! In the market for legendary-grade protection? Ever dreamed of possessing unmatched power and dominion over the competition? This state-of-the-art exoskeleton is the key to unlocking your true potential on the battlefield. Turn incoming projectiles into flies in the wind and leave an indelible mark on history! Act now! Act now! And receive a free coating of nano-prismatic paint, allowing you to decorate your armour in all colours. And if you’re worried about scaling, don’t be! One size fits all! With a simple Rumbledrug dosage, anyone’s worthy of lifting Thor’s Hammer! And now introducing Guang-Class Augmentor Rumbledrugs! From the best chem labs the White Serpent Gang has to offer, get your prescription today and don the armour of legends!”

Efab Gotyay: “What would you say is the most important trait one must have to be a good salesperson?” Bill Swindells: “Fantastic question. FANTASTIC question. I can see that you're an Unggoy with dedication, ambition, and a great future in front of you. And having a strong sales technique will benefit you not just on the floor, but in all areas of your professional and personal life! Regrettably, there's no single trait; it requires a whole host of skills to be a success in this line of work. Thankfully, you CAN learn them yourself. All you need to do is order my sixteen-audiotrax set, entitled "Salespersonship: For Sale to Sold." This set will teach you everything you need to know to succeed in life! You'll be amazed at how your confidence soars after you listen to the first audiotrax. And best of all, they can be yours with an initial payment of only 1 credit! You'll get the first audiotrax delivered to you by GalactEx the very next day! Love it? We'll send the next audiotrax the following day for just 50 credits, and one each day after that for the same deal! Think it's not for you? Just contact our friendly staff and explain the situation and I'm sure we can work something out. That's right. For just one credit, you too can start your new life. (Shipping and handling fees apply. Early termination fees apply. Does not include tax, excise fees, or import duties.)”

"That's not all, though! If you order right now, you’ll get this exclusive accessory package, compliments of the good folks here at Shakedown Co.!"

Grawgus: “No dung, I’d like to rip those implants straight outta his body!” Shakedown: “You and me both, buddy, you and me both…hey Grawgus, maybe we can work out a little deal.” Obadiah Slautov: “Shakedown…”

“Presenting the M107 Joint-Amphibious Weapon System , or as the good folks here like to call it, 'JAWS'! Just like its namesake, this underwater handheld torpedo launcher is a force to be reckoned with. Schools of enemy vessels hindering your deep-sea excursions? Wishing you didn’t have to come up for air at the first sign of trouble? Step into the shoes of Captain Brody, only this time, the shark’s on YOUR side. This state-of-the-art torpedo launcher is designed to deliver an underwater onslaught that will make even the mightiest of megalodons jealous. With quick and easy maneuverability, you can patrol your territory and be the new apex predator in town! And here's the real kicker: JAWS isn't just for the brave souls diving into the depths. Our weapon is so versatile that it can be used from the surface as well, turning you into a true sea-faring legend. From boats to submarines, there's no vessel that can withstand the might of JAWS! And for a limited-time only, receive five crates of torpedoes on us with every purchase! Don't let this opportunity swim away! Get your hands on a Joint-Amphibious Weapon System today and show Atlantis its true ruler!”

“Allow me to remind you all: no refunds.”

“Nice to meet you! Please disregard the gun.”

“A perfectly understandable question! Organic Resources can be a daunting task; it's difficult to let an employee or contractor go gently without sending them into the arms of a competitor with all your trade secrets, or engendering a berserker rage that winds up with an intern torn limb-from-limb. (From limb. Cyborgs these days, am I right? What, two arms and legs ain't enough for you?) It's also expensive! Who can keep up with the ever-changing bureaucratic requirements the United Powers keeps handing down? Swindells Consulting, that's who! Outsource all your OR needs to our excellent team and you'll never have to worry about an employee leaving angry ever again. Our trained specialists will let ‘em down gently, with a minimum of property damage! We'll also make sure you don't get hit with any pesky fines for non-compliance. You'll also save a bundle by not having dedicated OR staff in place. So call the number on the bottom of your screen right now, and start saving today!”

“What's the point of me having an Energy Sword if I’m never going to use it? Oh, right, I was gonna sell it! One Energy Sword for 120,000 credits!”

“But-but I didn’t MEAN to destroy Adroieada Rethus’ ecosystem! I promise it wasn’t my fault! I swear, it was an accident! Side note, Mk-3033C Eco-Nihilators are now half price.”

Shakedown: “Yeah yeah, I got ‘em, had to fly through an Aegis Guard brigade to get them to ya though, these are gonna cost you double.” Thel ‘Kiramak: “I would be happy to. Just so long as they’re real.” Shakedown: “Relax, trust me, you can’t fake this stuff!”

  "It's the most lucrative time of the year!"- Bill Swindells singing to himself about the Christmas season and (probably) his profit margins.

“Want front row seats to the pinnacle of armoured might? The XM820B4 Hannibal Scorpion is the ticket you’re looking for! The Hannibal Scorpion brandishes a formidable arsenal, including a main laser cannon capable of reducing enemy fortifications to rubble in mere moments. Watch as the ground and heavens quake from the thunderous roar of your cannon! But that's not all- it also comes equipped with a secondary gauss repeater, a fitting end to the pesky infantry foolish enough to challenge you. Now, safety and manoeuvrability are top priorities for any main battle tank connoisseur, and this baby features advanced suspension and stabilisation systems, ensuring a smooth ride over any terrain. Whether you're traversing rocky mountains or roaring across open fields, you'll feel like you're gliding on air while trampling the bodies of your enemies on its treads. So, to all warlords and soon-to-be conquerors, what are you waiting for? Supplies are limited, and this opportunity won't last forever. Acquire the Hannibal Scorpion today and prepare to reign supreme as the ultimate champion of warfare!”

“Well, it just turns out I got my grubby mitts on a HAVOK Tactical Nuke. Been thinking about getting the old band back together.”

Shakedown: “Sure, anything for my favourite customer! Ha! Sucker.” Switchblade Omalieres: “I’m still on the line, Shakedown.”

“Huh. Never could quite get the hang of cloning, I’ll have to settle for holo-drones for now.”

“The Ruwa-Pattern Ember Thrower, guaranteed to make your enemies feel the burn...literally! With a range that'll melt their faces and a satisfaction guarantee, it's the only tool any aspiring firestarter needs to achieve that warm and fuzzy feeling!”  

"Now remember, if you boys want an unbeatable selection of mercenary merchandise at ridiculously low prices, come on down by to Shakedown Co., we're open 24/7, 365 days a year, unless of course you're not following the standard, universally used Gregorian Calendar that most of us folks use. Oh! Speaking of which, if you're in the market for antique but pristine-condition UNSC Military Calendars, you know where you can find some. And if you're wondering, yes, we do honour competitors' coupons. Ciao for now!"- To two Sangheili traders

“Perhaps you'd be interested in something every lair-owner cannot be without: volcano insurance!"  

Shakedown: "Turok, you old warmonger! It's been years. I can't tell you how tickled I was to learn that my favourite customer was still alive! You look great by the way..." Turok Nar ‘Mdragath: "Oh, spare me the platitudes, Shakedown. How did you get this frequency?" Shakedown: "A mutual bounty-hunting friend provided it in exchange for a weapon or two. Professional scruples prevent me from revealing his name." Turok Nar ‘Mdragath: "Scruples? You'd sell your own soul to the highest bidder."  

"I also take all major credit downloads."

“Attention, mad scientists and diabolical inventors! The Brevet Mutation Serum 9000 is just what the doctor ordered. Turn ordinary lab rats into fearsome creatures, perfect for distracting the authorities while you make your escape. Warning: Side effects may include uncontrollable laughter and craving for radioactive waste."

  "This is the 0-Infinity Solar Flare Accelerator Cannon, draws its energy from the heart of a collapsed star. Like a demo?"- Shakedown: Master Salespitcher.

(Bill Swindells AKA Shakedown everybody! The Arms-Dealing Ron Popeil of our Haloverse! Shakedown’s always been a fun character for me, a personal favourite I very obviously modelled after Swindle from Transformers, particularly his Animated continuity version. I had a fuckton of fun writing his weapon descriptions, quotes, and his personality, since it’s practically just exaggerated salesman jargon in the context of the Halo universe.)

(Anyway, I did this because I think my last revision of him in 2019 made Swindells out as too much of a empathetic character- and on top of that the way he got rich and accomplished all he accomplished, I believe, was pretty lame. I don’t think anyone should really sympathise with him for anything, so I removed the details of how he felt about his father’s death and his own personal struggles, cause I think it’s better that Bill Swindells is just plain and simply a piece of shit. No redeemable qualities at all, just pure corporate greed and con-artist scumminess personified. I also thought his association with Tyrone Forge was a bit tacked on, Bill Swindells shouldn’t be jealous of Forge or even want to have what he has, he’s his own man whose company does (mostly) different things to his in different ways, so I reduced their relationship to being purely friendly rivals. The one sort of ‘nice’ quality I gave to Bill was his relationship with Ming Suzokawa, who in the past was just another insignificant member of his conspiracy, but I’ve decided to crown her Queen of the White Serpent gang, which I’ve mentioned a couple times on different posts and want to make an entry on her sometime; and I wanted her and Bill to have an ‘almost-genuine’ romantic relationship. That is, they should be a couple, and for all intents and purposes, are, but they’re kinda more interested in playing sexy games of extortion and blackmail with each other for now. Either way, I figure these two are going to make for a delightfully evil duo of sinners going forward, whose romantic antics are going to be a huge thorn in the side of pretty much everyone their businesses concern.)

(Aside from Swindle I also took inspiration from the Once-Ler, as well as some real life figures like real life arms dealer Efraim Diveroli, whose story I based the whole ‘frauding the UNSC with ammunition from Gao’ thing on, as well as most of Swindells’ life as a younger arms dealer; Jordan Belfort, the infamous Wolf of Wall Street, and a certain President of a certain really powerful country. I’ll give you 45 guesses who…)

(Theme songs wise Shakedown I feel is best described by Smooth Criminal, both Michael Jackson’s original and Alien Ant Farm’s cover . I’m not actually sure which one fits him best. And then How Bad Can I Be? and Biggering from the Lorax. By the way, how friggin’ great is Biggering as a song? Damn shame they didn’t put it in the movie. But anyway, thank you for stopping on by at Shakedown’s Shack folks, and if you’re ever in the market for some fantastic and brilliant stories that should really get more love and attention, pay a visit to our business partner DecidingNebula’s page, and get a new perspective on the Halo universe!)

(And all hyperlinked weapons belong to www.deviantart.com/mickeeyoofe… , and the Synthetic Blamite Collider to www.deviantart.com/lordarchero… )

Description
Franchise: Halo

Real Name: Bill Swindells

Faction: Swindells Inc., Himself, Impulse Buy, Mankind’s Children (Formerly), Dragon’s Den (Formerly), Raw Deal, Shakedown Co., Shakedown’s Shack, The Banicrons, Banicron Dark Ops, The Strykers  

Artificial Intelligence (A.I) Companion: K.A.S.P.E.R- K.A.S.P.E.R, or Knowledgeable App with Super-Private Encrypted Records, is a companion after Bill's own heart- he's just as much the capitalist he is, he's got every trick of the trade in his personality matrix to really sell you what he wants to sell you, he's cunning, and he's just as greedy as his creator. K.A.S.P.E.R was made by Swindells initially as a companion to help him keep track of his business and run it effectively at all times, as well as provide an advantage to him in conversation and just everyday activities, but since Swindells saw great opportunity for business in the Banicron Movement on High Charity during the Great Schism, Bill decided to use blueprints for the Wetwork-Class MEGINGJORD Powered Assault Armour to use as a mercenary for the Banicron Revolution, and from then on K.A.S.P.E.R has been a combat support intelligence, helping Bill Swindells live out his secret double-life as Shakedown, an arms dealer, mercenary and commando of the Banicron Strykers team. K.A.S.P.E.R’s holographic avatar is usually purple and is that of a young, rather sleazy looking salesman wearing a shiny, patterned tuxedo, which sometimes has a bowtie on, sometimes doesn't. It basically just depends on what K.A.S.P.E.R feels like wearing that day, but as K.A.S.P.E.R is also a known asset to Swindells Inc., he will sometimes be seen holographically at meetings and parties and so forth, and can change his clothing to match whatever he is attending or overseeing.

Age: 40

Rank: CEO

Height: 6.4ft

Species/Nationality: Human, American

Birthplace: Garos

Citizenship: UEG/Terran, Banicron

Job: Con Artist, CEO of Swindells Inc., Owner and Proprietor of Impulse Buy, Arms Dealer, Venture Capitalist, Reality T.V Host, Owner and Leader of Shakedown Co., Proprietor of Shakedown’s Shack, Mercenary, Commando, Member of The Strykers

Nicknames/Title: Shakedown (Alias), Interplanetary Arms Dealer, Swindle, The Wolf of New Mombasa, The Con Man, The Yard Salesman From Hell, Hustler, Dishonourable Con Artist, Silver-Thief, Smooth Criminal, The Real Garosian Oligarch, Pyramid Schemer, Banicron Businessman, Sweet-Talking Bandit, Double-Lived Swindler, Greedy Bastard, Raw Dealer, Shelby Forthright, Mr. Buy'N'Large, Lord Business, President Business, That/Capitalist, Greedy Capitalist, Capitalist First, Moneyman, Money-Making Machine, The Entrepreneur, Dragon No.4, The Artist of the Deal, "You're Fired", Michael Jackson Superfan, The Dealer of Doom, Donald, Jordan Belfort, Booster Gold but a Bad Guy, Future President of the United Earth Colonies, Greasy Wall Street Billionaire, The Other Wolf of Wall Street, Charles Ponzi, Looter, The Once-Ler, Lovable Salesperson, Stryker, Corpo Asshole, Evil Tony Stark, Galactic CEO (Possible Future)

Gender: Male

Vehicles/Mounts: ‘The Wheeler-Dealer’- Dark Tan and Purple Weaponised Simone Ramondelli Mobile Armoured Office-SUV with a hidden Gauss turret and high explosive mines; Swindells-RHX Private Scramjet; Weaponised White and Gold Zenvo ST50; Weaponised Zarooq Motors Sand Racer; White Vigaro El Dorado Limousine with cyan neon lighting; ‘The Auctioneer'- A Customised and Modified Swindells Inc. Luxury Entrepeneur-Class Aerospace Yacht weaponised with all sorts of defensive and offensive weapons, as well as an access point to his personal pocket dimension, the Auctioneer is used by Shakedown as his personal starship to use when travelling the galaxy in search of opportunity for investment, trade, swindling and looting; A Sangheili 'Krol-Pattern Maritime Yacht

Voice: Identical to Fred Willard as Swindle from Transformers Animated

Eye Colour: Purple

Hair Colour: Black

Skin Colour/Race: Dark Olive White

Scars/Damage/Markings/Unusual Features: Purple Eyes

Enemies/Rivals: Anyone in competition with his businesses, Galactic Intelligence Service, Department of Colonial Security, Covenant Hegemony, Trident of Revelation, Hullat Cartel, Rightmen Salvage Company/Birds of Prey, Kig-Yar Commission

Status: Alive and Healthy

Weapons:

'Trade Off'- Close your eyes and imagine what it would be like if you could have the might of a full-blown artillery squad right at your fingertips. Now open them and realise the folks here at Shakedown Co. DO have it; with the Swindells Inc. M788 Gauss Blaster! With this superior tactical asset, you’re a walking arsenal, ready to unleash devastation upon anything foolish enough to stand in your way. Harnessing the sheer force of magnetism to propel projectiles at blistering speeds, your foes won't know what hit them as they're torn apart by the ferocious power of the Gauss Blaster. But wait! There’s more! Gauss Blaster comes with a dura-lock arm shackle, granting you the convenience and versatility of having this behemoth mounted on your arm. No more lugging around heavy artillery or cumbersome weapons. With the Gauss Blaster, your firepower is always at your side, ready to go at a moment's notice. And now introducing the Shakedown Co. Modified Trade-Off variant! In addition to all the features mentioned above, the Trade-Off fires purple-coloured, explosive beams of energy, all neatly wrapped around a high-density, devastating Gauss Projectile—perfect for keeping away dissatisfied customers. It's a good thing that Shakedown keeps this one in particular in low stock, because on higher settings, it can potentially quake small five story buildings in a fifty-square yard area, up to a 1/4 mile away, and if it were to go on sale to the public, well, THE INSURRECTIONISTS WIN.

‘Win-Win Situations’- Are you tired of those mundane explosives that just go 'boom' and call it a day? Well, hold on tight because these babies are about to blow your mind... literally! Picture this: You're in the heat of battle, surrounded by your enemies, desperately needing an edge to turn the tide. That's where these top-of-the-line M363 Sticky Detonators come in! With their advanced adhesive technology, the Sticky Detonator’s charges cling to any surface like a determined koala. Just slap it on, and watch the fireworks begin! And here's the best part: you control when it goes kaboom! That's right, folks! These handheld miracles give you the power to decide when your enemies meet their explosive fate. Simply squeeze the trigger when the time is right, and BOOM! It's like your own personal fireworks show, with you as the conductor! Get yours today and watch your enemies stick around... for all the wrong reasons!

MUTA-AP-09334 Machine Gun, Focus Laser, and Plasma Turret Options for two Swindells Inc. Shoulder-Built KX-5 Weapon Hardpoint Cybernetic Implants- Sick of being caught with your pants down? Sometimes literally? Tired of awkwardly telling homeless people you’ve got no cash to give them? Let the guns do the talking with the Swindells Inc. KX-5 Weapon Hardpoint Cybernetic Implant—the ultimate blend of cutting-edge technology and stealthy elegance that will leave your enemies guessing! With our state-of-the-art cybernetic implants, you are a walking armory, seamlessly blending into any environment while maintaining the element of surprise. The KX-5 is undetectable to the naked eye, ensuring that your enemies never see them coming. These hidden hardpoints provide you with the ability to equip a wide range of compact, lethal weapons. From concealed blades for close-quarters combat to miniaturised machine guns, focus lasers and plasma turrets for ranged engagements, these implants give you the flexibility to adapt to any situation, without even appearing armed! And now with dual-wielding capabilities, you can double your concealed firepower. It's time to make a statement, don't wait for your rivals to surpass you- seize this opportunity to secure your place at the forefront of cutting-edge weaponry. Get your hands on a KX-5 Weapon Hardpoint today and be the one who strikes first!

 ‘100% Discount Coupon’- Can you really ever have too much of a good thing? Introducing the Z-1001 Synthetic Blamite Collider! A marvel of Forerunner engineering, this beast of a weapon is built to dominate, boasting an innovative design guaranteed to make all your bounty-hunting pals jealous! With every pull of the trigger, you'll feel a surge of power coursing through your veins as the Collider delivers a barrage of death and destruction. But that's not all! This weapon comes loaded with advanced features that will leave your adversaries in awe. It's equipped with an omnispectral precision scope, allowing you to pick off your targets from afar with deadly accuracy. And let's not forget to mention its sheer versatility; it’s like having multiple weapons in one! With selectable fire modes, you can switch between rapid-fire assault mode for those up-close and personal encounters, or precision burst mode for taking out distant targets with surgical precision. The choice is yours, and the possibilities are endless! And with synthetic blamite being all the rage these days, there’s never been a better time to invest in your own Synthetic Blamite Collider. The Z-1001 Synthetic Blamite Collider, it’s a true warrior's best friend!

Standard Issue Razor’s Edge-Class Z-130 Suppressor

‘The Bottom Line’- What if we told you it was possible to use the sun…as a gun? Step right up, ladies and gentlemen, step right up, and behold the future of warfare! Feast your eyes on the 0-Infinity Solar Flare Accelerator Cannon prototype! With a blinding burst of solar energy erupting from the emitter, the sheer magnitude of destruction will leave your opponents wondering how you came to possess such unimaginable power. Now, I know what you're thinking: "What about the ammo?" Well worry not, ‘cause this baby comes with an ammunition system that never quits- it draws power from the heart of an internal, slipspace-compressed collapsed star, firing a blast of superheated stellar energy from a functionally-infinite source! And here's the cherry on top: this prototype is just the beginning! Imagine the possibilities when this technology is refined and perfected! Imagine the sweet, sweet carnage! So don't wait! Take the power of the sun into the palm of your hand, and set the battlefield ablaze!

Two Customised Golden M6H Magnums  

Q7788 Anti-Gravity Cannon- This stunning addition to your arsenal has a very special feature- it defies the laws of physics themselves! Yes, you heard that right- the Q7788 Anti-Gravity Cannon harnesses the power of anti-gravity technology to grant you an unparalleled advantage on the battlefield, allowing you to effortlessly lift objects, vehicles, and obstacles with just a flick of your wrist. When you take the Anti-Grav in your hands, you become the master of the unseen forces that govern our world. Simply activate the incredible anti-gravity field, and watch as the laws of nature bend to your will. Strategically restructure the battlefield to your specifications, and make the enemy play by your rules! But don’t limit yourself to the battlefield, the Q7788 isn't just a tool for war- think of the everyday possibilities! Need to redecorate the living room? No problem! With the Q7788, heavy furniture becomes a breeze to move around. Hosting a backyard BBQ? Lift those heavy coolers with ease, impressing your friends with your effortless strength. Spring cleaning? Alleviate some stress and let the Anti-Gravity Cannon do the heavy lifting! Remember, the sky's not the limit when you can defy gravity! Warning: the Q7788 Anti-Gravity Cannon may destabilise the the axis and integrity of any planet upon which it is used, please consult the owner’s manual for instructions on safe use. Owner’s manual sold separately.

  Experimental M96X Hydrogen Embrittlement Weapon  

Yonhet Clash-Class 3V Force Field Generators- These babies generate polarised bubble shields much superior to those of Spartan shields, allowing imperviousness to most forms of damage! They can also be used offensively, as any unwanted intruders who touch them from the outside are delivered a nasty, severe burn; but if that’s not enough, the bubble-shield can be detonated outward- sending an omni-directional blast guaranteed to clear the immediate area of any nuisances! Or your money back!

San’Shyuum Ultrasonic Immobiliser 3000- It is a wonderful device you absolutely cannot do without! This fantastic item completely absorbs and muffles all bothersome alarm system noises, which allows you to sneak around and leave your enemies entirely unaware. Don't leave home without it! But wait—there's more! It also has a hardlight restraint emitter, handy for those tight spots. So come to Shakedown Co. where we'll sell you all the Ultrasonic Immobiliser 3000s you could ever want for a low, affordable price!  

Shakedown Co. Quadruple Crusher Cannon- Reverse-engineered from a Verticus-based arms trader who would prefer to remain anonymous, the Shakedown Co. Quadruple Crusher Cannon generates bands of spatial pressure, which wrap around a target and tighten until it's been crushed beyond repair; a cosmic vice grip like no other! The Quadruple Crusher Cannon is the epitome of raw, unyielding power. It takes no prisoners and leaves nothing to identify its victims behind. Buildings crumble, vehicles are reduced to scrap metal, and even the sturdiest of fortifications succumb to its relentless force. The impact is simply Earth-shattering! Redefine destruction, with the Shakedown Co. Quadruple Crusher Cannon!

Shakedown Co. Kaboom Kreme ™- Introducing Kaboom Kreme ™, the ultimate solution for all your demolition needs! Get ready to spray, stick, and detonate your way to unparalleled destruction! Ever been in a tight fad and wished for the power to turn any surface into a ticking time bomb with just a simple spray? Sometimes wishes do come true- with Kaboom Kreme ™’s plastic explosive resin spray technology, you can covertly and precisely apply a thin layer of explosive resin to any surface- walls, doors, tank armour, you name it! Once applied, this remarkable resin becomes your ticket to controlled chaos. Simply attach a detonator, set the timer and watch as your obstacle is rendered moot! Kaboom Kreme ™ is compact, portable, and easy to use. No more lugging around bulky explosives or fumbling with complex detonation mechanisms. Just a can in your hand, and the power to reshape the battlefield. Grab your can today, and we’ll throw in a nifty set of detonators, free of charge!

Swindells Inc. S-66 Laser Gatling Gun modification mounted on his chest armour

‘Spending Spree’- Puny weapons that barely scratch the surface of your enemy's armour getting you down? Presenting a new titan of firepower, the four-barreled destroyer that will make any tank commander tremble in fear! Straight from the fires of the finest Banicron weaponsmiths, the Sarcum Workshop Death Pillar ! This monster of engineering combines the force of four barrels into a single devastating blast, obliterating anything that stands in its way. The quadruple-barreled break action anti-tank shotgun is a game-changer in the world of heavy artillery! And here's the best part: it's not just for tanks! This versatile behemoth comes packed with a detachable micro-sharpened battle axe, handy in a tight bout where you’ve found yourself spent on ammo!

Qhurtig-Pattern Type-24 Needle Repeater- Behold, the epitome of alien weaponry- a masterpiece of elegance and power that will leave your greatest trembling in fear- the Qhurtig-Pattern Type-24 Needle Repeater! Bear your teeth with this blamite bad boy and witness as the radiant needles home in on their targets, their ethereal glow captivating the battlefield, then light them up in glorious pink mist! The Needle Repeater’s unique ammunition is a spectacle to behold, as each needle seeks out its victim with pinpoint accuracy, impaling them with explosive force. Watch in awe as your enemies dissolve into a stunning display of cascading explosions! The Needler Repeater’s reputation precedes it as not just an instrument of destruction, but a work of art- an alien marvel crafted with intricate precision and attention to detail. Its ergonomic design fits snugly in your hands, giving you unparalleled control and confidence. But don't just take my word for it, folks. Try it out for yourself and experience the adrenaline rush of wielding this embodiment of otherworldly ingenuity!

Custom-Made Bolt Action Rifle with a large, thick stock

Customised and Modified Gold MA-37 Assault Rifle with a laser designator

Customised and Modified Golden DMR with a silencer and sentinel sight  

Swindells Inc. M167D Triple-Barrelled Automatic Rifle- Looking for a good ol’ “stick ‘em up” weapon? Hoping to return to a simpler time where you just rob a bank with nothing but a gun and a hard-boiled voice? Look no further, for the Swindells Inc. M167D is right in front of you! How’s that for eye candy? Sporting not one, not two, but three barrels of 7.62mm AP-T firing ammunition, bulletproof screens’ll never be a problem for you again! Take back control of the situation, strike down the authorities, and get your payday! Get an M167D now!  

Standard Issue Loathsome Thing-Class Z-180 Scattershot

Z-5540 Cosmic Ray Particle Gun

Standard Issue Vakara GesmbH SMP Ocelot

Customised Arclight-Class ARC-920 Railgun

Standard Issue Mantra-Four Selenean Defense Force Rifle   

Two Customised Pitch Black M6G Magnums with Gold Engravings and Suppressors

Armour-Mounted Habib-Dekel Utility Cutting Power Tool

Standard Issue M45D Shotgun

Z-090 Gamma Tachyon Laser

‘Limited-Time Offer’- A Z-010CE Stasis Rifle

Stellar-42 Blaster Pistol

Dealmaker Bombs- Super-Concentrated Antimatter Bombs that level city block-sized areas as opposed to entire regions of land

Forge Industries X15000 "Kill A Ton of Bad Guys" High-Density Self-Propelled Claymore Bombs
 Spike Grenades

Anskum-Pattern Plasma Grenades

Detonator- And last but not least, the device that he uses to detonate all his explosives, aside from his Sticky Detonators’ grenades, those are...how we say...sold separately.

Equipment/Paraphernalia/Personal Belongings: Extensively Customised and Modified Wetwork-Class MEGINGJORD Powered Assault Armour, Purple VISR Sunglasses, Yonhet Clash-Class 3V Force Field Generators, Collection of Bolo Ties, Slipspace-Compressed Pocket Dimension Access Point in his Briefcase and Armour Hardcase, Neural Interface Implant, Comms Implant, Vocal Repeater Implant, Skin-Cell Reinforcement Lattice Armour, Shoulder-Built KX-5 Weapon Hardpoint Cybernetic Implants, Anti-Cyberintrusion Enhancement, Holocommunicator, Holo-Drones, Collection of Designer Watches, Smart Watch, "Super Glue"- An experimental nano-resin adhesive and bonding agent in development by Swindells Inc., Technician Tools, Repair Tools, Piano Collection, Mass Amounts of Looted and Purchased Items of dubious nature lying around in his pocket dimension

Specialisation/Skills: Businessman, Salesman, Genius, Conman, Extortionist, Cheating, Demolitionist, CQC, Stealth, Escape Artist, Master Engineer, Physics, Chemistry, Hacker, Mathematician, Tactician, Multilingual, Martial Artist, Marksman, Pilot, Pianist, Economic Manipulation, Fomenting Conspiracy

Powers/Abilities: Spartan 1.1 Physiology- Increased Strength, Increased Durability, Increased Speed, Faster Reflexes, Increased Agility, Increased Stamina, Accelerated Cellular Regeneration, Increased Mental Processing, Enhanced Senses, Accelerated Metabolism, Enhanced Vision, Immunity to most illnesses, Enhanced Hearing

Personality: Quick, hide the silver! An entrepreneur with few equals, the smooth-talking Bill Swindells/Shakedown is always ready to make a deal. With a gift of gab and bluff who can wheedle people into seeing his way...at least, long enough to get what he wants. Trading extensively with many alien races and loaded down with their respective technologies, his goods are highly useful to supervillainous emperors, revolutionary generals, interstellar warlords, overzealous parking wardens, bounty hunters, and many, many others. Though nominally a Banicron, Shakedown simply views war as yet another business opportunity, one which has kept him living posh for years and could be great for his bottom line again now that it's starting back up. Shakedown is also notorious for taking time out of a mission to go looting and purchasing some interesting goods from the locals, especially when those goods could be reverse engineered for Bill Swindells to sell as his own. He wears a bolo tie everywhere, even with his armour, which is pretty damn awesome.  

He tends to use the word "taxes" as an expletive, much like how most individuals would use "Oh shit" as an expression of frustration or disappointment, Bill Swindells, whether he does so for humourous effect or if he genuinely views them as a taboo word, will commonly say "Oh taxes!" when faced with disappointment or shock or any bad news...it's probably the latter, in which case, it says alot.  

Capitalist first, Banicron second, Shakedown is a swindler, an opportunist, a hustler—or as he would put it, an entrepreneur. Unlike his fellow soldiers, he considers the war to be merely an opportunity for networking, cutting deals, and making profit. He's an expert on all manner of weaponry and their market prices, and he prides himself on being able to sell anything to pretty much anybody. Shakedown is a con man by day, and by night, well...he is also a con man, but also, an arms dealer and occasional mercenary, as well as a part-time Commando for the Banicrons. His greed and thirst for more and more and more drives him to create and build more and more.

Sneaky little bastard. He probably rips open blind-packs at the shops and sells the contents for double the price.   Bill Swindells truly has nothing but opportunity lying at his feet, he's got the UNSC in one hand, and the Banicrons in the other...both happen to be on opposing sides of war...the perfect way to maximise his profits! But wait! There's more! He's also got a third party in his..um...third hand....and that's a bunch of third parties! To which he sells arms and specific inventions perhaps not suited for the UNSC or the Banicrons but perhaps suited to the wider range of scum and villainy that the Orion Arm has to offer. If you think you won't be wooed by his charm and wit and persuaded to buy, then you're simply just wrong, why, he could sell water to a fish! If you buy from this creep, it won't be cheap!

  Swindells is the CEO of Swindells Inc., and so between the war-profiteering, the weapons-dealing, being a part-time mercenary for the Banicrons and just being an untrustworthy con man in general, he manages to get out quite a lot and do what he likes- Bill Swindells is a genius playboy…but not so much of a philanthropist. You really shouldn’t trust Bill as far as his pocket dimension can be turned in on itself and collapsed, and if Bill truly had it his way, the whole Galaxy would be a company- and he’d be it’s CEO.

 Despite being a weaselly, opportunistic sneak, Shakedown is one of the few Banicrons who could adapt without a need for conquest. After all, there will always be demand for a black market, regardless of whoever wins. He knows all he has to do is keep his chin up, and he'll always have a customer. All he needs is his disarming smile and a few charming but appropriate quips up his sleeve, and voila, business is good.   

He'd sell you for a nickel. That schemer. 

(Didn’t think his backstory would need its own google doc, but here we are: docs.google.com/document/d/1kQ… )

Quotes:

"The name's Shakedown. I am what you may call an interplanetary arms dealer. This baby is going to make a killing in the upcoming war!"

"It...it....it's not my fault! This greed…it’s like a birth defect! I was born with it!"- Shakedown, after pawning off the remains of his deceased teammates’ weapons, armour and cybernetics 

"And that's the problem I'm afraid. Unfortunately, the way even our evolved ways of living work are no different to that of animals. You see, there's a principle in nature- survival of the fittest. The animals who're cunning, the ruthless lions clawing at all the competition get to survive and prosper, and...well the animals that don't wind up being their lunch. So when I'm doing all these things...lying, swindling, manipulating, disregarding morality, it's not because I want to do all that...it’s because I have to! I'm just following what comes naturally, and greed...well, it comes naturally! That's how the big bad world works, I didn't make the rules, I just didn't argue with the God that did. So really, when you think about it, how bad can I possibly be?"- Shakedown quotes the Once-Ler in an attempt to defend himself

"Oh, taxes!"- Did he just say ‘taxes’ as if it’s a swear word?

"Maybe I should help them, or maybe I should just, help myself!"

  "What would you say if I told you that you don't have to fight Tridents of Revelation? You'd say I'm crazy, right? That I'm out of my head? Well that is exactly what I'm telling you about this amazing product from the good folks here at Shakedown.Co™!"

  "Now, at no extra charge, I'm willing to throw in these little items I picked up in a little excursion to the planet Doisac. By the way, if you should ever find yourself on Doisac, trust me, you do not want to visit the Northern hemisphere. The locals are surly, the service is lousy, and the drinks are always watered down."

"Oh...now this is just wrong. Hopefully they have a Mygarch Power Converter or at least a Prelate Shield Generator out in the open to make up for this. Oh who am I kidding? Nobody's going to leave that sort of gear lying around! You'd have to be the dumbest species in the universe to do such a thing."

"Aww taxes, and there goes this thing's resale value."- After first testing his armour and damaging it, or any time that he gets a drink spilled on his clothes.

“Here at Shakedown’s Shack, we pride ourselves on the highest quality black market items. And with our new Pirate’s Plunder Coupon, it’s bargains galore on all Eaynian and T’vaoan-manufactured goods! Everyone’s a winner here at Shakedown’s Shack, so come on down and get a taste of the pirates life!”

“Little bit of travel advice: always reserve a little something to pay off the security at Balaho’s Witgab terminus. Learned that one the hard way.”

"Not technology, or weapons, or some useless everyday products...happiness, the chance for happiness and the prolonging of happiness amongst all people is what we sell, and that's why we love Swindells Inc.!"

“The Plek-Pattern Painglass Saber! It’s a steal at this price! This energised cutlass was forged using a modified energy projector and a chemically treated Subanese crystal shard, Kig-Yar craftsmanship at its finest! It slices, it dices, it makes Swiss cheese out of landlubbers everywhere! And with fifty percent off original retail price, you get to skip the middle man! Get ‘em while they’re hot!”

"Ah nothing beats a shopping spree, especially when its all free!"

"The money man is on the move!"

“You kidding? With two Spartan-IV’s up for ransom we could make enough to retire early to Entevio on New Hakkor! Where the ale is as smooth as a baby’s bottom.” (In the future)  

“Ahhhhh, I needed that. Oh my my, what a golden opportunity."

Shakedown: "You get this ship but…what do I get?" Lugul 'Ragam: "The honour of serving Lord Turok should be reward enough." Shakedown: "Turok! Well why didn't you say so, the 'ol warmongerer's my Number. 1 customer!"

“Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to show you the greatest upgrade ever made. The Shakedown Co. Explode-o-Matic™ can blast your enemies to julienne fries with all the precision and quality you've come to expect from our products!”

"Naturally everything comes with three year warranty, excluding battle damage of course."

“I offer a wide variety of financing options.”

"The Ultrasonic Immobiliser 3000, don't leave home without it! It causes high-frequency sonic waves that can disable and disorient anything from a moving truck travelling at hyperspeed to a raging Mgalekgolo building inexorable momentum. But wait! There's more! It also has a hardlight restraint emitter, handy for those tight spots. Take a look! Picked this baby up on the Fleet of Sprightly Truants- nice folks the San’Shyuum, give you a good deal and, all the ale you can drink."  

"Wanna know where YOUR tax credits are going?"- His weapons, that's where they're going. Followed by a proud chuckle.

“By the way, if you’re ever in the market for some gen-you-ine Warlords of Otraak-Pattern Gravity Hammers, just give me a call, we got a new shipment coming in tomorrow.”  

Olivia Chiles: "Mr. Swindells, many of your most prominent critics have labelled you as a conniving swindler. Have you ever thought you might want to change your company name to one without the unfortunate implications of your current one?" Bill Swindells: "Are you crazy? Do you know how many years I've spent branding this name? Just look how many customers, from the government to the everyday citizen feel comfortable dealing with this business, you know why? Because it stands out! It's almost esoteric, this name has reached such notoriety that its actually entered the lexicon as a word meaning 'ruthless and unscrupulous businessman'. I mean, come on, you can't buy publicity like that!"- Bill Swindells explains why his name is not a curse, but a blessing for his business to ECB News Reporter Olivia Chiles.

“MJOLNIR Mark VI Power Armour! In the market for legendary-grade protection? Ever dreamed of possessing unmatched power and dominion over the competition? This state-of-the-art exoskeleton is the key to unlocking your true potential on the battlefield. Turn incoming projectiles into flies in the wind and leave an indelible mark on history! Act now! Act now! And receive a free coating of nano-prismatic paint, allowing you to decorate your armour in all colours. And if you’re worried about scaling, don’t be! One size fits all! With a simple Rumbledrug dosage, anyone’s worthy of lifting Thor’s Hammer! And now introducing Guang-Class Augmentor Rumbledrugs! From the best chem labs the White Serpent Gang has to offer, get your prescription today and don the armour of legends!”

Efab Gotyay: “What would you say is the most important trait one must have to be a good salesperson?” Bill Swindells: “Fantastic question. FANTASTIC question. I can see that you're an Unggoy with dedication, ambition, and a great future in front of you. And having a strong sales technique will benefit you not just on the floor, but in all areas of your professional and personal life! Regrettably, there's no single trait; it requires a whole host of skills to be a success in this line of work. Thankfully, you CAN learn them yourself. All you need to do is order my sixteen-audiotrax set, entitled "Salespersonship: For Sale to Sold." This set will teach you everything you need to know to succeed in life! You'll be amazed at how your confidence soars after you listen to the first audiotrax. And best of all, they can be yours with an initial payment of only 1 credit! You'll get the first audiotrax delivered to you by GalactEx the very next day! Love it? We'll send the next audiotrax the following day for just 50 credits, and one each day after that for the same deal! Think it's not for you? Just contact our friendly staff and explain the situation and I'm sure we can work something out. That's right. For just one credit, you too can start your new life. (Shipping and handling fees apply. Early termination fees apply. Does not include tax, excise fees, or import duties.)”

"That's not all, though! If you order right now, you’ll get this exclusive accessory package, compliments of the good folks here at Shakedown Co.!"

Grawgus: “No dung, I’d like to rip those implants straight outta his body!” Shakedown: “You and me both, buddy, you and me both…hey Grawgus, maybe we can work out a little deal.” Obadiah Slautov: “Shakedown…”

“Presenting the M107 Joint-Amphibious Weapon System , or as the good folks here like to call it, 'JAWS'! Just like its namesake, this underwater handheld torpedo launcher is a force to be reckoned with. Schools of enemy vessels hindering your deep-sea excursions? Wishing you didn’t have to come up for air at the first sign of trouble? Step into the shoes of Captain Brody, only this time, the shark’s on YOUR side. This state-of-the-art torpedo launcher is designed to deliver an underwater onslaught that will make even the mightiest of megalodons jealous. With quick and easy maneuverability, you can patrol your territory and be the new apex predator in town! And here's the real kicker: JAWS isn't just for the brave souls diving into the depths. Our weapon is so versatile that it can be used from the surface as well, turning you into a true sea-faring legend. From boats to submarines, there's no vessel that can withstand the might of JAWS! And for a limited-time only, receive five crates of torpedoes on us with every purchase! Don't let this opportunity swim away! Get your hands on a Joint-Amphibious Weapon System today and show Atlantis its true ruler!”

“Allow me to remind you all: no refunds.”

“Nice to meet you! Please disregard the gun.”

“A perfectly understandable question! Organic Resources can be a daunting task; it's difficult to let an employee or contractor go gently without sending them into the arms of a competitor with all your trade secrets, or engendering a berserker rage that winds up with an intern torn limb-from-limb. (From limb. Cyborgs these days, am I right? What, two arms and legs ain't enough for you?) It's also expensive! Who can keep up with the ever-changing bureaucratic requirements the United Powers keeps handing down? Swindells Consulting, that's who! Outsource all your OR needs to our excellent team and you'll never have to worry about an employee leaving angry ever again. Our trained specialists will let ‘em down gently, with a minimum of property damage! We'll also make sure you don't get hit with any pesky fines for non-compliance. You'll also save a bundle by not having dedicated OR staff in place. So call the number on the bottom of your screen right now, and start saving today!”

“What's the point of me having an Energy Sword if I’m never going to use it? Oh, right, I was gonna sell it! One Energy Sword for 120,000 credits!”

“But-but I didn’t MEAN to destroy Adroieada Rethus’ ecosystem! I promise it wasn’t my fault! I swear, it was an accident! Side note, Mk-3033C Eco-Nihilators are now half price.”

Shakedown: “Yeah yeah, I got ‘em, had to fly through an Aegis Guard brigade to get them to ya though, these are gonna cost you double.” Thel ‘Kiramak: “I would be happy to. Just so long as they’re real.” Shakedown: “Relax, trust me, you can’t fake this stuff!”

  "It's the most lucrative time of the year!"- Bill Swindells singing to himself about the Christmas season and (probably) his profit margins.

“Want front row seats to the pinnacle of armoured might? The XM820B4 Hannibal Scorpion is the ticket you’re looking for! The Hannibal Scorpion brandishes a formidable arsenal, including a main laser cannon capable of reducing enemy fortifications to rubble in mere moments. Watch as the ground and heavens quake from the thunderous roar of your cannon! But that's not all- it also comes equipped with a secondary gauss repeater, a fitting end to the pesky infantry foolish enough to challenge you. Now, safety and manoeuvrability are top priorities for any main battle tank connoisseur, and this baby features advanced suspension and stabilisation systems, ensuring a smooth ride over any terrain. Whether you're traversing rocky mountains or roaring across open fields, you'll feel like you're gliding on air while trampling the bodies of your enemies on its treads. So, to all warlords and soon-to-be conquerors, what are you waiting for? Supplies are limited, and this opportunity won't last forever. Acquire the Hannibal Scorpion today and prepare to reign supreme as the ultimate champion of warfare!”

“Well, it just turns out I got my grubby mitts on a HAVOK Tactical Nuke. Been thinking about getting the old band back together.”

Shakedown: “Sure, anything for my favourite customer! Ha! Sucker.” Switchblade Omalieres: “I’m still on the line, Shakedown.”

“Huh. Never could quite get the hang of cloning, I’ll have to settle for holo-drones for now.”

“The Ruwa-Pattern Ember Thrower, guaranteed to make your enemies feel the burn...literally! With a range that'll melt their faces and a satisfaction guarantee, it's the only tool any aspiring firestarter needs to achieve that warm and fuzzy feeling!”  

"Now remember, if you boys want an unbeatable selection of mercenary merchandise at ridiculously low prices, come on down by to Shakedown Co., we're open 24/7, 365 days a year, unless of course you're not following the standard, universally used Gregorian Calendar that most of us folks use. Oh! Speaking of which, if you're in the market for antique but pristine-condition UNSC Military Calendars, you know where you can find some. And if you're wondering, yes, we do honour competitors' coupons. Ciao for now!"- To two Sangheili traders

“Perhaps you'd be interested in something every lair-owner cannot be without: volcano insurance!"  

Shakedown: "Turok, you old warmonger! It's been years. I can't tell you how tickled I was to learn that my favourite customer was still alive! You look great by the way..." Turok Nar ‘Mdragath: "Oh, spare me the platitudes, Shakedown. How did you get this frequency?" Shakedown: "A mutual bounty-hunting friend provided it in exchange for a weapon or two. Professional scruples prevent me from revealing his name." Turok Nar ‘Mdragath: "Scruples? You'd sell your own soul to the highest bidder."  

"I also take all major credit downloads."

“Attention, mad scientists and diabolical inventors! The Brevet Mutation Serum 9000 is just what the doctor ordered. Turn ordinary lab rats into fearsome creatures, perfect for distracting the authorities while you make your escape. Warning: Side effects may include uncontrollable laughter and craving for radioactive waste."

  "This is the 0-Infinity Solar Flare Accelerator Cannon, draws its energy from the heart of a collapsed star. Like a demo?"- Shakedown: Master Salespitcher.

(Bill Swindells AKA Shakedown everybody! The Arms-Dealing Ron Popeil of our Haloverse! Shakedown’s always been a fun character for me, a personal favourite I very obviously modelled after Swindle from Transformers, particularly his Animated continuity version. I had a fuckton of fun writing his weapon descriptions, quotes, and his personality, since it’s practically just exaggerated salesman jargon in the context of the Halo universe.)

(Anyway, I did this because I think my last revision of him in 2019 made Swindells out as too much of a empathetic character- and on top of that the way he got rich and accomplished all he accomplished, I believe, was pretty lame. I don’t think anyone should really sympathise with him for anything, so I removed the details of how he felt about his father’s death and his own personal struggles, cause I think it’s better that Bill Swindells is just plain and simply a piece of shit. No redeemable qualities at all, just pure corporate greed and con-artist scumminess personified. I also thought his association with Tyrone Forge was a bit tacked on, Bill Swindells shouldn’t be jealous of Forge or even want to have what he has, he’s his own man whose company does (mostly) different things to his in different ways, so I reduced their relationship to being purely friendly rivals. The one sort of ‘nice’ quality I gave to Bill was his relationship with Ming Suzokawa, who in the past was just another insignificant member of his conspiracy, but I’ve decided to crown her Queen of the White Serpent gang, which I’ve mentioned a couple times on different posts and want to make an entry on her sometime; and I wanted her and Bill to have an ‘almost-genuine’ romantic relationship. That is, they should be a couple, and for all intents and purposes, are, but they’re kinda more interested in playing sexy games of extortion and blackmail with each other for now. Either way, I figure these two are going to make for a delightfully evil duo of sinners going forward, whose romantic antics are going to be a huge thorn in the side of pretty much everyone their businesses concern.)

(Aside from Swindle I also took inspiration from the Once-Ler, as well as some real life figures like real life arms dealer Efraim Diveroli, whose story I based the whole ‘frauding the UNSC with ammunition from Gao’ thing on, as well as most of Swindells’ life as a younger arms dealer; Jordan Belfort, the infamous Wolf of Wall Street, and a certain President of a certain really powerful country. I’ll give you 45 guesses who…)

(Theme songs wise Shakedown I feel is best described by Smooth Criminal, both Michael Jackson’s original and Alien Ant Farm’s cover . I’m not actually sure which one fits him best. And then How Bad Can I Be? and Biggering from the Lorax. By the way, how friggin’ great is Biggering as a song? Damn shame they didn’t put it in the movie. But anyway, thank you for stopping on by at Shakedown’s Shack folks, and if you’re ever in the market for some fantastic and brilliant stories that should really get more love and attention, pay a visit to our business partner DecidingNebula’s page, and get a new perspective on the Halo universe!)

(And all hyperlinked weapons belong to www.deviantart.com/mickeeyoofe… , and the Synthetic Blamite Collider to www.deviantart.com/lordarchero… )