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DestinyBlue — Fix Me
Published: 2016-01-28 15:00:06 +0000 UTC; Views: 147788; Favourites: 9263; Downloads: 1123
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Description
You've done your best with the tools you've got, but what if it's still not good enough?
Ask for help.
Today I'm going into hospital.
I am being taken to stay in a psychiatric ward again for a bit while I try and get my brain better.
Everyday is tough, I've tried really hard to do nurturing things and stay positive. I think I've done pretty well, considering. But I need to accept that I can't do it on my own at the moment, I need help.
Doctors are not sure of my diagnosis, my symptoms are more complex than depression/anxiety. I'm not worried about what they'll label me with, I just want to get better. I've started writing about my experiences, which is helping. I'll share it all with you when I'm stable again. Though presently I can't begin to describe how horrible it's been; except to offer a small insight: I feel like death would be better than a life like this.
Yup. I need help.
This illness has taken so much from me. I don't want to let it take my life too...
Peace, Love and Asking for Help,
Blue
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Comments: 746
I must say, you have a lot of courage to tell everyone about your mental condition and I'm sure it will help others who have been struggling with depression come out and ask for help, so thank you for that!
I do hope you get better as well, and if you want to talk to someone, you're free to message me (might not reply instantly due to work though).
Anyway, get better. Seriously! Good wishes to you!
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let me send you lots of caring hugs and positive thoughts!!! <333 I really hope you'll get better. You are amazing! <33
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I'd like to suggest looking at rainbows. I know it's not something that will fix the situation, obviously, but it might help a little. Rainbows are fab. And I mean rainbow coloured things in general, not just rainbows that are in the sky. Like this guy -> fav.me/d5xknqn OR this awesome thing! -> fav.me/d9m69ck
I hope you get better.
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You go, girl! You are strong, and can make it through this. Just know that fighting means you can still win! 
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It's good that you're fighting, that means you're not defeated yet!
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I hope you feel better, although it seems that the "pain of living" is the condemnation of most artists. a big hug!
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I hope you get better and don't stop figting, life is a very precious gift.
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I wish you the best! Thanks for keeping all us updated
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I really hope you feel better you are one of my most favorite artist on DA and you are my biggest inspiration to my art and me trying to improve on it... *>*, i hate hearing about your suffering and i always try to send all the love i can towards you.
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It's so hard fighting with an illness you dont know, I kinda went through something similar and it was like i was fighting with myself, doctors, medicine and lots of love helped, also a lot of sleep! my best wishes and i hope you feel better!
I love the way you think about the situation, it shows you are so strong and you inspire me
good luck
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Wonderful and meaningful piece of art as always, dear Blue. Lead the fight on, you're strong enough. I pray you get better soon. You're such an amazing person, and also very brave for sharing your life with us. Not many people are able to do that. Hopefully, your life and thoughts will take a turn for the better, and as ever, we'll still support you, no matter what! Lots of hugs and kisses from Serbia!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=mx7Q0x…
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Something you should know...if you didn't already...
You're an inspiration to so many people, so many look up to you and see your strength and determination. A lot of people would be devastated if you took your life, I don't know what exactly you're going through, and it doesn't matter. Just know there are people here to support you and love you no matter what.
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You are a strong and amazing person. I'm only looking at your art and I read your story, and trust me, you are one of the most amazing person I have ever heard of. Remember that asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. 
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Like my mom always said, there's nothing wrong with asking for help. I'm sorry to hear you have to go back to the hospital, I hope things work out for the best. Lots of hugs from my end.
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Love your beautiful art. Fight. I know it can be tough, gone through depression and anxiety myself. You have to have a gorgeous soul to convey such beauty through your artwork. It is NOT inside of everyone. Feel better.
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Sometimes life is hard, but everyone says that it gets better. Believe in it and you've already taken the first step.
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i hope it all go away dont worry the brightst stars are in the darkest nights youll deffinitly be a stronger person after this ends me you<- or ->
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I feel I don't have the words to express what my heart wants to convey, but the best way I can put it is that you have shown such strength fighting these battles that you have, and it is admirable. You've also shown strength in recognising your own limits and going to get help. It is your life, like you mentioned, and you deserve to have it fully, and to be happy with it.
The most important thing right now is that you focus on yourself, you've already begun the steps to do so, and I'm sure you'll make it through. If you ever need anything from any of us, we are willing to help. We love you!! And, we want nothing more than to see you be happy once again.
Sending all the 
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You are very brave and have done the right thing getting help.
Looking forward to seeing you and your lovely work here again
Love
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i want to help you so much. if there's something i can do, just say
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I've had my go in the hospital.
I had Scoliosis so my spine was curved
I had to have surgery and stay in the hospital
It was my first time staying in a hospital for a long period of time
I hated it, I hated everything about it.
My mom stayed with me the entire time, and I felt bad at night
When my mom would have to stay at my bed side and talk to me
While I was crying about the pain, about the bad time I was having
I had dealt with depression before but told nobody
As no one in my family really helps me through it.
But I just couldn't stop crying those nights.
Nurses telling me I had to take all this medicine
Being told I couldn't walk without help,
but it usually gets better
Promise
From me and my whole family.
Feel better please
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You're not alone bud,
Also have Scoliosis, not easy having an 80 degree spine.
Never had surgery on my back.
But, when they told me I was getting spine fusion,
Felt like the world stopped.
I felt scared, I didn't know what was gonna happen.
But it'll get better, it's a new start.
Life is hard,
But that's what you expect.
'Cause all bad things always have a bright side.
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deffinitly it felt like that but omg 80 degree thats alot isnt it i thought if it starts passing 40 degree it means it starts needing surgery
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Yeah.
I know that feeling when the world stops
Being told you need surgery and all
That you'll stay in a hospital for a while
But yeah. All bad things have a bright side
Thanks for saying that I'm not alone though
This might sound Cliche but still
It really makes me feel better to hear those words.
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i also had scoliosis and i definitlly feel your pain how long did it past from the surgery i had it 2 years ago
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About a year ago.
Also it's nice to see other people read my comment,
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yeah it probably is it just seemed to shine cause its longer then the rest
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Oh. Geez,
Did I write that much
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A little bit when I get the chance.
I'd like to watch more, but this way my family watches TV
It's killing me here xD
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omg XD but you could wach it on the internet as well you know and which is your favorite charecter mines peridot
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we both like the brainys (sorry i couldnt answere before school stuff)
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I pray and hope that you will get better soon DestinyBlue.
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Peace and hugs for you, my dear. Your art never fails to inspire and move me - my thoughts are with you.
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It's always hard to see someone go through something like this. Especially someone with such a beautiful heart that is exposed through these wonderful works of art and unique Perspective. While I have an understanding, having anxiety and depression myself, there's no way I can really understand what you're going through. But you've come this far, you can certainly go further. Just know there's a whole lot of people rooting for you.
Focus on getting well and we'll be here, cheering you on. <3
Also, thank you for the beautiful works of art!
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I'll pray for you, Blue. I know things are tough but I am sure they will get better. You are strong no matter how much it seems like the opposite.
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I'm happy to see 11 pages of comments within 5 days (though I didn't read them all, so not quite sure how many are relevant) on people that wish you better days, and wellness, and recovery.
Much of what they say is true. It can be hard, you're doing wonderful even with the first few steps of acknowledging you need help, and then going to get it. There are always good days and bad days, even for us that have chronic mental illnesses. Diagnoses aren't necessarily the end, nor beginning, but can be a means to understand yourself more. Learning how to handle things, and better yourself can sometimes be easier when you have a definition to grasp onto (but it isn't the be-all; and it can change over the years.)
Art is amazing therapy. Some places even have art therapy in itself, to help you express yourself, become aware of hidden feelings and emotions, and learn how to cope and manage. (I prefer it over just medicines for obvious reasons - you're learning about yourself, and not just taking things to deal with symptoms - though sometimes, you need the meds for that as well.)
Education is also very good for you. Learn what you can about the general things they diagnose you with, as well as how other people cope as many people deal with the same thing a bit differently. We may all be human, but we don't all work the same ways.
Don't be afraid to ask the doctors questions if you don't understand, and if you are concerned or think something is wrong (either something's not working, or maybe you're wondering if it's a misdiagnosis). They aren't always right, and it's best to communicate with a doctor you trust, to get the right treatments. And, sometimes, things will work great for maybe even ten years, and stop being effective and have to be changed.
I wish you the strength to continue on when you feel you cannot; the vision to see ahead of you the better days; and all the support you need to find the balance in your life.
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