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Published: 2016-01-28 15:00:06 +0000 UTC; Views: 147791; Favourites: 9263; Downloads: 1123
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Description
You've done your best with the tools you've got, but what if it's still not good enough?
Ask for help.
Today I'm going into hospital.
I am being taken to stay in a psychiatric ward again for a bit while I try and get my brain better.
Everyday is tough, I've tried really hard to do nurturing things and stay positive. I think I've done pretty well, considering. But I need to accept that I can't do it on my own at the moment, I need help.
Doctors are not sure of my diagnosis, my symptoms are more complex than depression/anxiety. I'm not worried about what they'll label me with, I just want to get better. I've started writing about my experiences, which is helping. I'll share it all with you when I'm stable again. Though presently I can't begin to describe how horrible it's been; except to offer a small insight: I feel like death would be better than a life like this.
Yup. I need help.
This illness has taken so much from me. I don't want to let it take my life too...
Peace, Love and Asking for Help,
Blue
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Comments: 746
Sweet-Blasphemy-MLP [2016-02-02 13:31:54 +0000 UTC]
Wishing you well, hope you get the help you need, please look after yourself - there is always light after the storm xx
much love <3
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
BlueSuperSonic In reply to Sweet-Blasphemy-MLP [2016-02-02 17:09:08 +0000 UTC]
"The night is darkest before dawn, and trust me, the dawn is coming" -Harvey Dent, The Dark Knight. I know I shouldn't joke, but I think this is appropriate
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
PupilsOfSilence [2016-02-02 09:55:41 +0000 UTC]
wow!.. this is just... just awesome!.. i have nog other words fot it.. great job!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
GlassMuses [2016-02-02 02:42:21 +0000 UTC]
You are so brave. You say death would be better but you don't want to let this pain take your life. Do you know how many people can't do that? You've tried to take care of yourself and now you're doing so by admitting you need help. Man, I wasn't able to do that when I needed to. I was afraid to be weak, but I've learned since then that it's not. It's brave to admit that you're afraid of yourself despite what others might perceive.
Sorry for getting so personal about my own stuff, but I feel you need to know how much I admire you. You're trying, you're trying harder than I ever did, and you are defying the pressure your pain is placing on you. You're choosing to keep fighting rather than surrender, to ask the blacksmiths for the weapons and armor you need, and that is so amazing to me. I've seen a lot of people struggling with so many things, and I've been one, but this one confession says to me that you're braver and stronger than many of us. I believe you can beat this. Even if you don't think the doctors will be able to help, or that you'll never get better, you have a tough look about you that says oh yes you bloody will get better, you'll kick it into submission even if you have to wear shin guards and be shown where to aim. Maybe it will never be gone all the way, but you have the resilience to make it manageable.
Hang on for the good days. They will come, even if they look like they won't. This is my own experience, not empty advice.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
celticarchie [2016-02-02 02:17:19 +0000 UTC]
Blue.
Let me help. I don't know you well, just through your art and journal posts. But I do know this; no matter how insurmountable your illness feels. It's only a fraction of who you are compared to how insightful and amazing you are as a human being. I intently look forward to your art posts and have a dedicated favourites folder just for you. I particularly identify Last Piece and Depression, writing I'm Ok on the wall, but then when you turn the corner it turns into I'm Not Okay. I say 'I'm Okay' to everyone many times when I'm really not.
Two years ago I lost someone on this site to cancer. I didn't know her well, I commented on her artwork & she replied. I wanted to ask her to draw the cover for a novel I intended to write but I didn't get the chance to ask.
I'm currently writing a completely different novel. I call it a romantic comedy with a supernatural twist, but it's more than that. It deals with deeper thoughts about regret, fear, and trying to make sense of life. In fact you're artwork has been in my thoughts as I've been writing and dreaming it up. I don't know when I'm going to finish it, but I do know I would really like you to do the cover.
So you got to stay with us Blue.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
wolflover13161 [2016-02-01 23:16:20 +0000 UTC]
You can do it, you can get trough this, even if its hard... and remember, you're not alone
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
stellarfeathers In reply to ??? [2016-02-01 22:53:52 +0000 UTC]
stay strong. this world needs you and the positive and uplifting message you are and will be. c:
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
EmiChan1453 In reply to ??? [2016-02-01 20:33:33 +0000 UTC]
feel better soon, and please remember how you mean so much to many people, you have inspired me so much and helped me, in a way, with your artwork. (it's hard to explain.) hope you get better
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
acnero In reply to ??? [2016-02-01 19:19:33 +0000 UTC]
sending all the support. youare a wonderful person and artist.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
heartswave In reply to ??? [2016-02-01 16:29:38 +0000 UTC]
your far stronger than you give yourself credit for im so glad your here and the art you make is so amassing i feel so touched every time i see your work stay strong my friend you have a beautiful purpose in this life, of that i am certain
sending you lots of hugs and lovings
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Art-Ablaze [2016-02-01 15:25:22 +0000 UTC]
You know Blue, the fact that you've had the courage and the strength to accept help and take that one step towards being better speaks volumes of the courage that you have. You are already on the road to recovery, and although it may be a long and tiring one, I know you'll emerge through victorious. Do not worry too much, just know that all of us are here to hold your hand and help (in some way, I hope) with the healing process. Don't give up on staying positive, and I know this may sound overrated, but there are better days. And they will come to you. So take a good long rest, don't worry and I'm sure we'll see a much more happier and healthier you pretty soon.
Cheers and lots and lots of love,
Nisha
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Eli-P [2016-02-01 13:56:46 +0000 UTC]
I'm so far from you, but I really want to hold you and say I know what you feel. I hope you get better
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
EBENEWOOD [2016-02-01 12:55:05 +0000 UTC]
What is enough? you have no limit. Your creation power have no limit. We just can't be perfect all the time. Be strong. Be you. Beautiful.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
coaste [2016-02-01 07:48:58 +0000 UTC]
I have followed you and your art for such a long time, and it's always made me wonder. I am proud of you for making these steps and taking care of yourself! I love you, and I hope you get the absolute most out of this experience and hospital stay, and that they are able to help you. Take care, Blue!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Shaylyn-KM [2016-02-01 05:25:25 +0000 UTC]
Get well soon I hope you know what a huge inspiration you are. Just keep fighting; we believe you you. :')
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
WinterCrane [2016-02-01 05:21:52 +0000 UTC]
Don't give up and keep fighting! Hang in there! Best of luck and do your best!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
BlackEyes17 [2016-02-01 05:14:27 +0000 UTC]
I never leave comments. Mostly because I pour my heart and soul into them and I just don't have the time to do that for everyone. However, my favorite artist of all time seems to be feeling less than the queen she is and the least I can do is to offer some words. Honestly, I got a little teary eyed reading your description box because two years ago, I was in the same situation (only 13 years old and I already cracked, so you did much better than I in staying strong). At the time, I thought I was being treated for anxiety and depression as well, but, like you, it turned out to be much more complex. In my case, I was diagnosed as bipolar. After they sorted that out, it made bouncing back a lot easier since I knew what I was dealing with. However, what I wanted to say most of all is this: if not for your artwork and your incredible insight on life, I'm not sure I could've ever fully recovered. I have an enormous canvas of your work Not Alone hanging over my bed, and every time I felt upset and wanted to cave in to self harm, I would just sit on my bed and analyze the whole painting, how you must've looked picking out the colors, sketching the outline, designing the character and how thoughtful you were to make Hope the Butterfly for anyone in need. I must've memorized every line. But the funny thing is, what gets me is your adorable smiley face next to your signature, because I know no matter how many struggles you've faced, you still try genuinely hard to be strong for yourself, for you fans, for your friends. You have so much creativity and talent just bursting out of you, and if not for you I wouldn't have started drawing art that actually meant something or chasing my dreams as an artist at all. You're an inspiration, and this is just one more chapter in your story. I know you'll get better; you're the strongest person I've ever seen (figuratively of course). I hope you take some time for yourself and find the happiness you deserve. Good luck, and feeling better!
-Mary
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
OOT94 [2016-02-01 04:55:53 +0000 UTC]
I have only just discovered your artwork, and already I can tell that you are beautiful, talented, and irreplaceable. This world needs you more than you know.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Jay-The-Punk In reply to ??? [2016-02-01 03:56:12 +0000 UTC]
ART CRITIQUE
by Jay-The-Punk
Date:01/02/2016
Piece name: Fix Me
Artist:DestinyBlue
Negative:
There's enough negativity for you right now. Just allow yourself to get better
Positive:
You have blue hair! You're kind to everyone, you're intelligent, you have such great skill, such passion for things in your life, you can get a group of people to love you without really knowing them all that well, such a bright light for others in their darkest times, You're strong even at you're weakest i see it, you're an inspiration to me and others.
Summary:
All in all a great person someone i feel if we all had a person like that in our lives one daily basis life wouldn't be so bad but of course at the same time we can't so we look at you're art and gain our own strength so we don't use you as a crutch for our own selfish means and keep the blue light burning
Personal Note:
Keep fighting Blue you can figure this out we all know you can! We're all here for you and i will do my best to support you however i can and i'm sure everyone else will too! Sending love to you and those close around you throughout this difficult time and hopefully see you soon <3
If you would like critique on your artwork please send me a note on deviantart.
Thanks
Jaythepunk \m/
jay-the-punk.deviantart.com/
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
JanaiaVega [2016-02-01 02:49:03 +0000 UTC]
Oh my gosh, I hope you get well as soon as possible. Sending love, and happiness! Stay strong and fight this, you can do this! Get well super soon! Awesome artwork!<3
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
PorcupinePotato [2016-02-01 02:47:23 +0000 UTC]
This reminds me of my friend's art style. The face was really well made. Love it
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Fiery-Mox [2016-02-01 02:35:46 +0000 UTC]
Best of luck to you Blue. You're doing the right thing and I think you'll come out the other side better for having done it.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
amethystunarmed [2016-02-01 02:01:27 +0000 UTC]
Love you girl. Hang in there. Help is the best thing, and it's amazing of you to admit that
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
WonderlandsChild [2016-01-31 23:28:35 +0000 UTC]
WE LOVE YOU BLUE!!!!!!! return to us safely <3333
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
blind-dancer [2016-01-31 21:01:46 +0000 UTC]
I'm quite in the same situation myself... Appointment with psychiatrist in 2 weeks...
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
llInkDreamsll [2016-01-31 19:26:34 +0000 UTC]
We all love you, stay strong. I know it may be hard, but just know this. We are here for you if you need anything talk to your fans.
You have tons of them.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Flightless-Wingz In reply to ??? [2016-01-31 18:09:24 +0000 UTC]
I admire your bravery, and willingness to keep fighting despite the odds. Especially your ability to recognize when you need help, and seek it out - that tends to be the hardest part, and so many people are afraid of how they'll be "labelled" that they never get the help they need, so it's good to see that you are not one of those people, and you encourage others to not be like that as well
Best of luck towards your recovery in there, and I look forward to seeing more of your glorious artwork when you return
It's a long drawn out battle with any mental condition, but everyday you're here, is another day you've won
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Artikano In reply to ??? [2016-01-31 17:30:20 +0000 UTC]
Examine your mind for buried feelings of guilt. Don't ask me how I know this, but I suspect you're carrying an overwhelming load of guilt.
Try to find a way to express it. Try ... writing out "the Voice of Guilt" on paper. Better on paper than in the back of your head.
Remember that whether or not there's a valid reason to feel this way ... doesn't matter. You feel this way. Deal with the feelings and don't invalidate them just because they lack cause.
Lastly, find someone other than yourself to do this for. Some one who needs you to live. When we lose the will to live for ourselves, we'll survive for other people.
I know you can do this. I hope you will.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
MariaPWilliams In reply to ??? [2016-01-31 15:46:22 +0000 UTC]
I freelance over th℮ internet and earn about 80-85$ an hour. I was without a job for 7 months but last month my paycheck with big fat bonus was $15000 just working on my computer from my home for 5-6 hours. Here's what i have been doing... www.wallstreet34.com
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Alise-Art In reply to ??? [2016-01-31 15:27:13 +0000 UTC]
It might be a rocky road sometimes - but you'll get there - you who makes such beautiful things - you who are not afraid to ask for help
you'll find your way!!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
lovealoctic In reply to ??? [2016-01-31 15:14:10 +0000 UTC]
i hope you feel more yellow soon
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
ZombieJamSHARK In reply to ??? [2016-01-31 13:48:30 +0000 UTC]
It will get better, i promise <3
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
sogoud In reply to ??? [2016-01-31 13:44:07 +0000 UTC]
I like ur type .. amazing and beautiful
u are the best with ur style
i hope the best for you
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Rasseru-chan In reply to ??? [2016-01-31 13:41:36 +0000 UTC]
Trigger Warning: I only did this because of :devthecooldude123344: and my anxiety. IGNORE IT.
WARNING! Carry on reading! Or you will die, even if you only looked at the word warning!
Once there was a little girl called Clarissa, she was ten-years-old and she lived in a mental
hospital, because she killed her mom and her dad. She got so bad she went to kill all the
staff in the hospital so the More-government decided that best idea was to get rid of her so
they set up a special room to kill her, as humane as possible but it went wrong the
machine they were using went wrong. And she sat there in agony for hours until she died.
Now every week on the day of her death she returns to the person that reads this letter, on
a Monday night at 12:00 a.m. She creeps into your room and kills you slowly, by cutting you
and watching you bleed to death. Now send this to ten other pictures on this one site, and
she will haunt someone else who doesn't. This isn't fake. apparently, if you copy and paste
this to ten comments in the next ten minutes you will have the best day of your life tomorrow.You
will either get kissed or asked out, if you break this chain u will see a little dead girl in you
👍: 0 ⏩: 4
seldeviant In reply to Rasseru-chan [2016-01-31 21:02:20 +0000 UTC]
Hey! Please delete this comment! I am 9 years old and it can get in my nightmares! So please delete this! I am So scared of it!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
RuneFactoryFox [2016-01-31 12:33:10 +0000 UTC]
Blue, you seem like an absolutely amazing person! I hope you get better soon <3
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Alee2802 [2016-01-31 11:08:43 +0000 UTC]
I really hope you'll get better. Just know that there are people here that love you, and you'll get through it. I can't even begin to imagine how hard it must be, but I know you're strong, and you've gone through so much. You, of all, deserve to get better.
All my thoughts and love.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
rubycarlin [2016-01-31 11:05:16 +0000 UTC]
We are here for you blue And we love your art so much
Here take my hug
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
BasicVanilla In reply to ??? [2016-01-31 10:02:50 +0000 UTC]
Your watchers are here for you!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
oXAmnesiaXo In reply to ??? [2016-01-31 09:55:45 +0000 UTC]
I adore your art. <3
It always inspirational and it just- changes my mood to better even in the darkest of times.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
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