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Steve-C2 — Complicated Affection
by-nc-nd
#happyend #characterdesign #dragons #fantasy #hope #hopeful #literature #love #oc #prose #relationship #romance #shortstory #characteroc
Published: 2014-07-31 04:47:13 +0000 UTC; Views: 966; Favourites: 10; Downloads: 0
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Description
This story is the answer to the prompt I gave myself a while back, to write a story involving a relationship between a human and a dragon. This went through several iteriations as I was writing it. I started writing on May 26, and finished on June 20. The written draft was 31 double sided pages. Then I typed it, and here's the end result.I'm not sure how I feel about attaching my name to this - but here it is.
I think I'm handing in my "man card," yeesh.
I wanted to show a couple in this story, whose romance had some additional complexity. I also spent some time questioning what I was writing. In fact, I questioned writing Dragon Mage at first, but there is at least one person here who knows that I questioned this piece much, much more than what I ever questioned DM.
I never thought I'd be writing something like this, involving the type of characters here.
Little bit of trivia:
- The name of "Saige" was chosen for its association with "sage," which means wise.
- The name "Gavin" sounded good, so I stuck with it. I was starting to write page 27 when I discovered that the name "Gavin" means "white hawk." Considering characters, I found it to be a rather entertaining bit of irony. It was completely unintentional.
- I considered three endings. The one that appears here, one opposite of what appears, and one that meets in the middle.
I WANT TO THANK SOME SPECIAL INDIVIDUALS
- PoesDaughter - Our simple discussion about writing habits, actually encouraged me to keep writing with pen and paper. I have never written something this long, using plain pen and paper. More than once, I considered surrendering to the keyboard, or just ending the story altogether. However, I remebered and considered that you've observed the writing is better when written first, then typed. So, as the story progressed, I remembered that more than once, and continued.
- Jessica-Rae-3 - When I first thought of the idea, you were the second person I approached to consult for a bit of wisdom. I had a severe ethical and moral connundrum in the story considering what I was doing, and how I wanted it to reflect. I seriously was not sure how you'd take the question, so I'm happy that it didn't cause you some consternation. I also want to thank you for reviewing it again, and, removing, all, those, commas.
Aside from that, I liked how you reworded that one sentence.
- Jestloo - You were the first person that I approached with the severe ethical and moral connundrum presented by the story. Also, thank you for looking at it after it was completed, as a proof reader.
- Jestloo and Jessica-Rae-3 Both of you helped me with the same connundrum. Your hearing my thoughts is much appreciated, and your valuable input allowed the story to be written.
I really can't thank you guys enough. So, thank you.
Questions for those reading this
This was actually a little bit of a self challenge, because I wanted to get clear descriptions, and a fair amount of 3rd person omniscient POV going. I also wanted to set a mood.
Thank you for reading, and for your feedback. And also, thank you again PoesDaughter , Jessica-Rae-3 , and Jestloo .
Cheers.
If you liked this, please see the gallery of clara-01 She's a great author!
Here's a sample, The Miracle.
Related content
Comments: 24
I'm only going to answer certain questions if you don't mind ^^
3. Plausible? Within this universe, I think so! It's a really interesting subject, and like the different takes on the 'forbidden romance' sort of concept. I'm glad there was a happy ending for the two!
4. Emotions were very clear. I haven't been in their situation (thank goodness) but it was very easy to imagine how each of them felt -- about each other, about their intimacy, and about their concerns over getting married. Personally I think I was most emotionally involved when Saige posed the question, "What if the Council rules we can't be married?" I was legitimately concerned at that point. After all, what if? It would be especially difficult for the unmarried couple to raise a child -- and a half-dragon one at that -- if they weren't allowed to get married.
7 & 8. I liked them both! They were easy to visualize and had realistic sets of emotions.
9. I haven't read either of your DM novels, but I want to mention that I like how this took place in the same universe! :3
Hope this comment was worth reading somehow! :'D
Also you mentioned a cover image in the description. I don't see it here ... would you mind sending me a link to it? o:
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Fine by me!
3) Ask Jestloo about the agonizing I did over this story, heh. As I mentioned, I did play with other endings.
4) Excellent. I like that you became emotionally involved. And your concerns are extremely valid. It definitely takes teamwork, especially when the child is a half-dragon.
7,8)
9) Ha! Fair enough.
It's feedback, which is appreciated.
Originally I had used this image, but Jestloo did not like its use in this instance (she said it wasn't as good as what she would have liked). So ... I went with the old standby.
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Thank you for the mention
I've been pretty busy lately because school is starting soon, but I promise to read this as soon as possible.
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You're quite welcome. I wanted it to be my best, so I kept writing.
I have to admit it was a bit of a challenge for me, since I'm so used to the computer.
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Well, good for you for seeing it through and for breaking out of your comfort zone. I'm proud of you!
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Thank you.
I thought that you deserved at least some credit because it was your remarks that kept me going with pen and paper sometimes.
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#1: No, no unnecessary verbiage. In fact, it was both very straight to the fact, if you understand what I mean.
#2: It flew very well. In fact, it had a slight poetic feel to it, with short sentences who quickly yet clearly described events, surroundings, and emotions, without being sufferingly long, and without being too short. The paragraphs were also well placed!
#3: Very plausible, yes! I love how you made that romantic relationships are in fact, very close friendship!
#4: Yes, the emotions were clear, concise, but with enough warmth.
#5: Nope, not over the top at all! Very cute, in fact.
#6: Yes, again, clear, concise, straight to the point, but with warmth and feelings.
#7: He was the perfect representation of a caring boyfriend and father.
#8: She was the perfect representation of a caring girlfriend and mother.
#9: .... Sorry, can't help you with that.
#10: I think that comment #1, #2, #3, #4, and #5 answers pretty much that question.
#11: Well, you made it mature, but seriously, and take it from a girl who has to review some pretty mature stories for her aspiring Texan writer, it is not at all mature. Not even one bit. And even the story between a dragon and an human, there is absolutely nothing weird with that. I mean, there's werewolves/humans love stories, and they are pretty much popular in the media.
So, as a reader, I have read nothing that would ashamed anyone, even under 18. Just so you know.
Other than that, that was a very good read! 
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Thank you for your answers!
I noticed that when I was writing, I thought it did have a slightly poetic feel. I was hoping it would be good in the final form. I'm happy you noticed that.
Heh, could you tell that I was a bit worried about going "over the top"?
I am definitely going to take your comments about the mature mark, into consideration. I err on the side of caution, and I thought this would be somewhat sensitive because it is very much "pro marriage" There again, what's offensive about that? I'm very happy you said there was nothing that would shame anyone, even under 18.
Again, thank you very much!
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You are very welcome! Thanks again for my mention.
The poetic feel was the first thing I noticed with the first paragraph. It was just plain to the eyes, how the first sentences were flowing. Then, after all the descriptions were done, it turned toward a more prose feel, but the poetic feel still stayed. It definitively made the story different!
Personally, I think there's nothing wrong with pro marriage thoughts, especially when it's about honour and well-being, being showed to childrens or teenagers. I know it will sound very weird or heretic to say that, but I believe that my generation somewhat lost the honour and the others well-being concepts. 
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Not a problem (reminds me I have to browse your gallery a bit more)
Ha! I've read Dickens, Poe, London, and am now reading Tolkein; I would like to think that there's a bit of a "classic" feel to my writing - that "poetic" vibe you get, in other words.
And the last paragraph you said about pro-marriage thoughts, is truly well appreciated. (So, are you saying you caught that my direction was about honour and well being?
(When I first saw that second paragraph, my response was 
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If you have the patience for short stories, I really recommend "The Silmarillion" and "The Unfinished Tales" of Tolkien, beside LOTR and Hobbit. It's all the early mythology of Middle-Earth, everything from the creation if the Elves to the Battle of the Last Alliance. It's very beautiful, very old feel, almost like the Scandinavian sagas.
Yeah, I kinda guessed you were really into honour.
You are welcome!
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How about number 11? 
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Way to pick just one question.
Thank you.
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No problem...and I mainly answered like that since my brain was frizzed up.
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Unfortunately, I know the feeling.
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I'm sorry.
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How about a gifted writer that can reach the opposite gender with his writing?
And that you did! DM was a small battle to overcome, "aren't dragons a symbol of evil?" This one was way over that dilemma! XD
My pleasure. Had a great time with helping you.
I feel like I already answered #1, and I believe my answer was "no." I liked all the words you used. I don't remember the definition of "purple pros," but I believe it had something to do with over the top wording? It was fine for me.
2. Yes. Like butter.
3. Since we are in a fantasy world. Yeah. And in my comment, I mentioned several real world thoughts and emotions that I derived from the story.
4. Yep. So much so that I felt them with the characters.
5. Since I seem to be a sucker for emotional crap, I probably can't be trusted with the right answer there. |'D I thought it was fine.
6. As far as I can recall.
7. Crap. How long has it been since I read this? Umm... He's a gentle man. Enjoys beauty in nature and people (specifically Saige.) Even though he erred, he showed genuine love to Saige through several of his actions. I feel that he would be a great husband.
8. Well, she's beautiful, and in her half human/dragon form, she's breath taking. She's wise, although she does let emotion get the better of her. Even though she mostly looks and acts like a human, she still has small moments/hints of her dragon mentality show up. Even though she is a dragon and, technically, more powerful than her husband, Saige shows and ability and willingness to submit to him in love.
9. Jason- heck yeah! XD Eric- Seemed a little more mature and professional, but that's probably because I couldn't see his thoughts this time. It was interesting... I didn't (and kinda still don't) know about Constance, since she's rather new to the main story. So, I don't know.
10. I think it is your best so far. I loved it, and I was glued to it till the final page. I give it five stars!
11. Already did in my other comment.
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I'm just thinking, "what kind of guy, writes this type of romance?"
Aren't you curious about the 3 endings?
Thanks for you answers, by the way.
Jason's quirk with the water was the author's attempt at having him do something while he talked.
Thank you again.
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Here's that coveted comment you wanted. And because I did the corrections separately, it's all a pure comment.
Well, that definitely sounds like a pristine spot to be in, alone or shared.
A sharp featured man and a soft, curved woman. Ideal from an artistic stand point. (Meaning, that's generally what I have in mind when drawing males and females.)
So far as I'm reading this I imagine everything with in a soft, white glare, like being outside in the summer sun.
Aww, man. I'm wishing they could marry. XD Also, the language you are using to describe their relationship reads very beautifully. Not sure how I can point out why, but it seems to be in the way you are using the words and how you seemed to have picked out the best ones for the occasion. In any case, I can feel their desire to be with each other and it's rather crushing to learn that they can't. Also, pretending to be someone who doesn't know why they can't be together, I found the beginning explanation leaving me with the question "why not? Why can't they marry?" This isn't bad, as I assume you purposely want to lead the reader into thinking that until you give your explanation, which I see is coming next.
I like how you mentioned the Morphos Dragon. It is actually, a pretty good reason why no one would marry them. Plus, if they tried, their secret would get out. What a sad state of affaires.
I can see how this relationship is progressing. From friends, to close affectionate persons, to now living in the same house. It's realistic to how relationships get to where they are today. (Ever listen to "Slow Fade" by Casting Crowns? It's a very accurate depiction.) Even with people that start with convictions and lay out personal restrictions. If you slowly let your boundaries fall, you'll wake up wondering how it got to the end result.
Now, what is this "commitment?" Is it their personal "wedding" or just a "we will stay true to each other forever" thing?
Oooooo. Wish I was good at humans. I'd be making fan art of Saige in that summer dress for sure!! Love it!!
I think she's beautiful too, Gavin. Heck! If I was a man, I'd marry her. Wings and all! XD
(Seriously, though. The visual I'm getting from this scene is amazing, and you're doing phenomenal at describing everything.)
Awe, great, Steve! You're filling me with this happy fantasy! When they hugged I could feel so much joy. I wanted to join the hug! XD
(Dang it! I wish they could marry!)
Ah. And there it is... You did good at first showing how they felt it was fine, since they had their boundaries and were, at first, doing ok. Then I could see how it slowly got out of hand. (And wouldn't you know, there's the "wake up one day" scenario.)
As sad as it is, I like how you are showing the impact of their action. Being intimate is not just a physical thing. It affects the spirit of a person too. Within marriage, it's safe, right, and free. Outside, it makes one feel, ashamed, fragile, and broken. It's so much more than physical pleasure...
Another reason she would feel scared of him leavening would be similar to other girls. She gave him all she had. Many guys leave once they get what they want.
"Even though I wanted it to happen, I should have respected you enough to honor the agreement we made together.” <---What they did was wrong, but I can't help but feel for these two. She is right though, about respecting someone enough not to do it, even if that person does. My dad talked about that with my brothers.
Lol. Got a problem with having a half dragon child, Gavin. I like how Saige has no problem with that. XD
Woohoo! FINALLY!! (Only to page 22. Hopefully it's not foreboding...)
*squirms giddily in seat* Hey! You referenced Eric! Lol! You have no idea how awesome it feels to see that. I love references in stories.
Oh! Oh! I bet those Names are the Townly's! (And/or their close friends.)
Constance? Oh. So this is after Serene's death. I still don't know too much about her yet.
Ok. I seriously fangirled. Lol! Eric's in a story where he's not the main character.
Hahaha! Dragons don't have Surnames, eh?
(Before being adopted by the Lenovies, Luca didn't either. He was just Luca, or The Motaukeh.)
That's true. It would be best if the child were to be raised by a mother and father. The original DMs were rather parentless and had little to no guidance in their lives, which added to their destruction.
Lol. Jason speaks, shuffles papers, drinks, and repeats. At least he's got a system.
I like the rules. Guess Snowies are lucky. I found it interesting how dragons never divorce, so dragonXhuman marriages must be the same. And that part where the dragon doesn't have to remain in human form. Don't know, visually, it sounds cool.
Weeeeee!! They're getting married!!
And you ended it more beautifully than it began. OMG! This is officially my favorite short story. Ever! It made me so happy at some places and sad at others. I like how you let them make the mistake, showed how it negatively affected their lives, then brought them together. It was like forgiveness and mercy at the end. You told the story in such a special way, and I think you handled the subject with great love and care. I love how deep with meaning it is. It was very God honoring, in how it uplifted marriage throughout. Now tell me, how and where can I try to refer this for a DD? I honestly think it deserves it. (And you know I try to be honest with you.) Man that was great. I'm actually sad that its over. 35 pages wasn't enough! Lol! XD
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Thank you!!
I had a mental image, could you tell? And, could you see it?
Yeah, I thought it would be a little bit cliche. I suppose it worked.
Good picture.
That, there? When you told me that I got you in the feels, without me having to ask? 
Pretty much the Morphos ruined a lot of things. In fairness, however, what the peace justice says later is true - he didn't have a precedent for the situation.
(I have - and I didn't even realize how well it fit at the time)
It is, in their mind, their own personal "wedding" - note Saige's remark later, "as married as we can be" However ... it isn't the same.
I still say you should. 
Falling asleep on the couch next to each other by the fireplace, from being tired and comfortable is one thing; it's another discussion when they're in the same bed. The first situation can still be sweet and innocent.
Now, did that actually get conveyed in the story?
I see what you're saying, but Saige was more concerned about Gavin feeling like she took advantage of him (it's so ... strange seeing it put that way). She knew he wouldn't leave her after what she did, from having what he wanted, because he wanted so much more than that. The saving thing here is that they had a solid friendship and relationship before events, so they could always go back to that foundation.
This ... almost went to a discussion about getting rid of the baby. Saige took an insult where none existed, though. Gavin is ... scared, and uncertain, because the baby will be half dragon. Saige may be a little uneasy, but not for the same reason as Gavin, because she is a dragon ...
Okay, that was funny. 
An astute observation, made by Rebecca.
Basically what Jason is doing, is setting a very high bar. Remember that other dragons will be pets? Not the Snowies. They are friends, and will be treated accordingly. The dragons don't have to take guff, and if you notice there's an implication that the dragons have leave to do what they feel necessary make sure they are not mistreated.
35 pages "novella"
I'm glad you captured what I was trying to do. I'm also happy that the nature of the characters, didn't muss the type of story I wanted to write.
Thank you.
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