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TwilightSaint — Personal - Muzafr Reference Sheet 2.0
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Published: 2014-09-05 23:29:57 +0000 UTC; Views: 38142; Favourites: 742; Downloads: 0
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This reference and Muzafr have been updated.You can find his new reference sheet here:
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Comments: 239
Thanks so much! And oh man, could you tell me which paragraphs the typos are in so I can find and fix them? I wrote most of this while being super tired after training, so it doesn't surprise me that there are a couple, haha.
And thanks for the suggestions too! I might go back in and tweak the info here and there to add that in! ^^
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Sure!
In the main dialogue right next to her name and specs, you write that she has "a quick qit" instead of wit.
In the section regarding her front paws, you list that her paw pads are calloused and "protect her from stepping on sharp rocks;" here I think you mean when she steps on sharp rocks.
In the paragraph about the hind feet, there's a statement that she can lope for "a few hours on end." This one is a bit tough, because I'm not sure if you just mean a few hours, or if she can do so for hours on end, suggesting a much longer amount of time (as in, literally all day). Also, you list that she is able to job up to 15 MPH, instead of jog.
In the paragraph illustrating her physiology, there is "with anatoy that is nearly feline-like." You could even cut out nearly here. In the same paragraph about the head spines, you have "also serve as a threatening display," which can be corrected to just "a threat display."
In the paragraph describing her hunting abilities, you have "off their guard"; it can be simplified to "off-guard."
In the section describing food, since you are stating that she is an opportunistic predator, I'm not sure that hunting is the right term for what you are meaning. You might change "opportunistic hunter" to "opportunistic feeder," since you don't really hunt fruits. Just personal preference on this one; not something technically grammatically incorrect.
Just a quick question on her vision: you say she has excellent binocular vision. Raptors (as in predatory birds) are farsighted. The snowy owl is so specialized in their binocular vision that they are literally blind to things that are close up (as noted when they are nesting, if the mother has food, the chicks have to try to find it because she can't see her chicks). How does Muzafr adjust her vision? A lot of dragons are simply able to sort of turn off or on this special sight. I assume she must be able to have a "setting" if you will, for close-up combat, seeing as how she is a ground trooper when wielding her firearm and not a sniper (which she would be epic at, I would think!), unless she's the spray-and-pray type.
There was another typo somewhere, but I can't seem to find it right now. :s
I think the only other thing that struck me as odd is how she seems to make her fellow soldiers take care of her claws. I understand her fastidious nature, however, it sounds almost like servility instead of camaraderie. Maybe it's just come to the point where she's asked so many times, that her fellow soldiers now just offer to do it out of expectancy of her asking (if not perhaps with some humor)?
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Ah, thank you so much, this is a great help! I went back in and fixed those typos and some of the confusing wording. I also trimmed a bit out of the section about hunting, (between the main body shot and the wings,) and removed some redundant areas and included a little extra information.
And yes, she does indeed make her men sharpen her claws, haha. XD She is definitely the Alpha of the group, and that has become one of their main 'jobs,' and they also do just assume to do it out of pure habit. (Would you suggest making that relationship a bit clearer in the main text at the top? I guess I didn't really touch on that too much.)
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Glad I could help!
I do think some elaboration on how the unit works would be good to read.
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^^
Sounds good! I'll go over it and see where I can add some more info about that, (I'm thinking about cutting the part about 'a dragon in a human city' since that's kind of repeating what I said in the text next to the anthro forms.) I really don't want to add another text box since I got so many already, hahahahaha.
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Sounds like a good plan; I can see where more text boxes might get in the way if you were to add more.
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Yeah. I especially want to avoid because that's exactly what I did with my last reference sheet of Muzafr - I would add details and text boxes as I thought of them, and it ended up looking kind of cluttered. XP
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Yeah, but this one is looking awesome.
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I love this. Your refs are amazing!
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B-E-A-UTIFUL reference oh my gosh!! The effort put into this is mindblowing!
Another reason why I love this character so much, she's super unique and is packed with information! Amazing job on the reference sheet!!!
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You are adorable, muzzy :3
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oh wow. i'll say that i underestimated your skills. you're so skilled that i can't even imagine the amount of work you had. it's beautiful and perfect wow
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So beautiful, detailed, and organized - a wonderful ref sheet for an even more wonderful character! 
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The Nictitating Membrane looks great. Its like a second eyelid.
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Oh wow, this is a beautiful reference sheet! Not that I didn't like her old one but I like this one better since I got to learn more about her species and your artwork on this one looks better than the old one! Great job, you really outdid yourself!
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This is really cool! You did a great job on the 'art overhaul'
I can't wait to see more!
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Absolutely amazing! 
(Haha...and I'm going to have to go back and change a few things. 
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Such a beautiful thing ^_^ *murrumbles and gives two wings up for the new sheet*
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