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Description
FIRST PLACE!

So, not many of you know this because I came out while I was on my hiatus, but I identify as asexual and aromantic, so when I saw this show pop up of course I had to get in on it! Molly and Ileana are rocking the ace pride colors, and Molly is finally moving up into the big girl bridle! This little one is right on the verge of breaking into the Prix St. Georges zone, I can TASTE it. There's also a reason Ileana isn't repping her own pride colors, so read the story below to find out why...

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Laura rapped softly on the office door, her heart leaping through her chest. I can’t do it, she thought. Maybe she should make up an excuse for wanting to speak with Ileana, something stupid about one of the horses. She couldn’t go through with it, there was no way. Maybe she was just deluding herself. Just as she was rationalizing backing out, Ileana answered from inside, ending all hope of taking the easy way out.

“Yes?”

Oh shit, Laura thought. I’m really doing this. She opened the door, shutting it quietly behind her, like she was afraid that someone would overhear her even though she and Ileana were the only ones on the property. Ileana gazed up at her with questioning eyes from behind her desktop screen, clearly a bit surprised that Laura was working through her lunch break. Before Ileana could get the words out, Laura sat down on the couch and blurted out what had been scaring the absolute shit out of her for as long as she could remember.

“Ileana, I’m gay.” Laura paused, thoughts sprinting through her head. “I think.”

There was a pregnant silence, both women taking it all in. Ileana was clearly a bit blindsided, but sat back in her desk chair, folding her hands in her lap. “You think? What makes you say that?”

Laura sighed deeply, slumping over on the couch and rubbing her face. She didn’t know how to describe it, but there was simultaneously a massive weight and a foggy, confusing relief hanging over her. “I don’t know. I just thought that since you’re, you know… I thought you would be able to talk about it.” Laura exhaled as she tried to keep her chin from trembling, tears welling up in her eyes. Fuck, she thought. I thought I wouldn’t cry.

Ileana smiled softly, nodding. “I thought you might come to me soon. You know, I could tell there was something going on with you.” She rolled her chair forward a little, reaching for Laura’s hand. A little motherly quirk that sometimes came over her. “What makes you unsure if that’s what it is?”

Laura had to think about this one, and it frustrated the absolute shit out of her. This was what she had been grappling with for months now, ever since she started questioning. “I don’t know, I just… I know I’m not straight. I can’t be. I was so uncomfortable in sex ed in high school, I’ve been thinking about it for years… The thing is though, I know I can’t be straight, but like… I kind of don’t really like girls either. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I don’t know if I’m gay, or broken, or what.” Laura lost the battle, silently letting tears run down her dirty cheeks and leave tracks through the dust on her face. Her lower lip shook, fighting the pent-up anger and frustration that had been building up for so long.

“Darling, I don’t think you’re gay. You might be asexual,” Ileana said gently. “I’m not sure how much you know about it, but it means that you don’t experience sexual attraction to anyone. There’s some variations on it, but that’s the general idea.” Laura nodded, wiping tears from her cheek. Ileana stood up, walking around her desk to give Laura a warm hug, something that Laura’s own mother never did. “You know my wife, Jacqueline – she’s asexual. She might be able to talk to you about it more, if you like.”

Laura squinted. “Wait. Jacquie is asexual… I thought you just said that means you don’t want a relationship.” Her brain raced a thousand miles a minute trying to wrap itself around her confused identity problems. Ileana sat next to her on the couch, handing her a tissue.

“Well, she also happens to be panromantic. You can feel romantic feelings for someone without having sexual feelings, and vice versa. You should ask her about it sometime.” Laura nodded, sniffing. She felt absolutely pathetic. Ileana rubbed her leg, smiling reassuringly. “It’s hard to figure out, I know. You don’t have to know right away, or ever. Just know that you can talk to me, love.”

Laura lost it, sobbing deep, heavy sobs that she had kept bottled up since high school. Ileana was like a mother for her, and the feeling of overwhelming love and acceptance from her was all that she needed. Despite being even more confused, she felt a rush of warmth every time Ileana said the word asexual. She sat up a bit, wiped her eyes and blew her nose, and smiled. “Thank you, Ileana. I don’t have an answer for you, but thank you.”

Ileana smiled back, and laughed softly. “Now go clean yourself up, and take your lunch break, and promise me you’ll give yourself some time. And if you decide one day to come out, however that happens, just know that I’ll support you through it.”

-----

Laura shut the trailer door with an annoyed groan. “I seriously can’t find that rainbow saddle pad anywhere. I thought you said you definitely packed it?” She hopped down from the step, brushing the dust off her jeans and swearing profusely under her breath. Horse shows with Ileana were always organized chaos, especially with her anal trailer packing tendencies. It was a pride show, so it was strange to Laura that Ileana would forget something as important as pride colors to show in.

“We don’t need it anymore, I figured out a plan B. Just breathe.” Ileana’s relaxed voice had an uncanny ability to carry through even the busiest of environments, but it wasn’t creepy to Laura anymore. She just rolled her eyes and plopped down in her rarely-used lawn chair, tipping her head back in exasperation. She trusted Ileana, but that didn’t keep her from being an absolute annoyance to work with sometimes.

“Laura, can you bring me the double bridle please? I think we’ll show in that instead of the snaffle. I think she’s ready for it,” Ileana shouted down the barn aisle from Molly’s stall. Laura heaved herself back up, slinging the double bridle off of the bridle rack in the tack room and shuffling down the aisle to Molly’s stall. As she began to reach out to hand the bridle off to Ileana and take the snaffle bridle back, the big bay mare caught her eye and in curiosity, she looked around her wide shoulder to see exactly what Ileana had meant by “plan B.” It looked like a plain white saddle pad, but as the small insignia caught Laura’s eye, she clapped her hand to her mouth in shock and gasped.

The saddle pad was edged in purple piping, with a small embroidered spade symbol on the back corner striped in black, gray, white, and purple. The asexual flag.

Emotion flooded over Laura, racking her with a lovely, warm feeling of appreciation. Ileana emerged from behind Molly’s hindquarters, decked out in gray and purple riding clothes and sporting a giant, mischievous grin. She took the bridle from Laura and wrapped her up in a bear hug. “If anyone asks, it’s for Jacquie. I didn’t want to out you before you were sure. But I thought you should know I’m in your corner.”

Laura squeezed Ileana tight, and reluctantly pulled away to keep from crying. As Ileana smiled slyly at her and turned to bridle innocent Molly, Laura clearly and overwhelmingly realized that this, this feeling of total love and acceptance, was what pride was really all about.

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Horse: Athan Meleth
Rider: Ileana Gabor
Show: LGBTQ+ Pride Show
Class: Dressage
Number: 6
Music: www.youtube.com/watch?v=LFbwDt…

Time spent: 14 hours
References (poses, light source, some color reference): www.davidblakedressage.com/ima…
rebeccarigdondressage.net/imag…

Description
FIRST PLACE!

So, not many of you know this because I came out while I was on my hiatus, but I identify as asexual and aromantic, so when I saw this show pop up of course I had to get in on it! Molly and Ileana are rocking the ace pride colors, and Molly is finally moving up into the big girl bridle! This little one is right on the verge of breaking into the Prix St. Georges zone, I can TASTE it. There's also a reason Ileana isn't repping her own pride colors, so read the story below to find out why...

--------------------------

Laura rapped softly on the office door, her heart leaping through her chest. I can’t do it, she thought. Maybe she should make up an excuse for wanting to speak with Ileana, something stupid about one of the horses. She couldn’t go through with it, there was no way. Maybe she was just deluding herself. Just as she was rationalizing backing out, Ileana answered from inside, ending all hope of taking the easy way out.

“Yes?”

Oh shit, Laura thought. I’m really doing this. She opened the door, shutting it quietly behind her, like she was afraid that someone would overhear her even though she and Ileana were the only ones on the property. Ileana gazed up at her with questioning eyes from behind her desktop screen, clearly a bit surprised that Laura was working through her lunch break. Before Ileana could get the words out, Laura sat down on the couch and blurted out what had been scaring the absolute shit out of her for as long as she could remember.

“Ileana, I’m gay.” Laura paused, thoughts sprinting through her head. “I think.”

There was a pregnant silence, both women taking it all in. Ileana was clearly a bit blindsided, but sat back in her desk chair, folding her hands in her lap. “You think? What makes you say that?”

Laura sighed deeply, slumping over on the couch and rubbing her face. She didn’t know how to describe it, but there was simultaneously a massive weight and a foggy, confusing relief hanging over her. “I don’t know. I just thought that since you’re, you know… I thought you would be able to talk about it.” Laura exhaled as she tried to keep her chin from trembling, tears welling up in her eyes. Fuck, she thought. I thought I wouldn’t cry.

Ileana smiled softly, nodding. “I thought you might come to me soon. You know, I could tell there was something going on with you.” She rolled her chair forward a little, reaching for Laura’s hand. A little motherly quirk that sometimes came over her. “What makes you unsure if that’s what it is?”

Laura had to think about this one, and it frustrated the absolute shit out of her. This was what she had been grappling with for months now, ever since she started questioning. “I don’t know, I just… I know I’m not straight. I can’t be. I was so uncomfortable in sex ed in high school, I’ve been thinking about it for years… The thing is though, I know I can’t be straight, but like… I kind of don’t really like girls either. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I don’t know if I’m gay, or broken, or what.” Laura lost the battle, silently letting tears run down her dirty cheeks and leave tracks through the dust on her face. Her lower lip shook, fighting the pent-up anger and frustration that had been building up for so long.

“Darling, I don’t think you’re gay. You might be asexual,” Ileana said gently. “I’m not sure how much you know about it, but it means that you don’t experience sexual attraction to anyone. There’s some variations on it, but that’s the general idea.” Laura nodded, wiping tears from her cheek. Ileana stood up, walking around her desk to give Laura a warm hug, something that Laura’s own mother never did. “You know my wife, Jacqueline – she’s asexual. She might be able to talk to you about it more, if you like.”

Laura squinted. “Wait. Jacquie is asexual… I thought you just said that means you don’t want a relationship.” Her brain raced a thousand miles a minute trying to wrap itself around her confused identity problems. Ileana sat next to her on the couch, handing her a tissue.

“Well, she also happens to be panromantic. You can feel romantic feelings for someone without having sexual feelings, and vice versa. You should ask her about it sometime.” Laura nodded, sniffing. She felt absolutely pathetic. Ileana rubbed her leg, smiling reassuringly. “It’s hard to figure out, I know. You don’t have to know right away, or ever. Just know that you can talk to me, love.”

Laura lost it, sobbing deep, heavy sobs that she had kept bottled up since high school. Ileana was like a mother for her, and the feeling of overwhelming love and acceptance from her was all that she needed. Despite being even more confused, she felt a rush of warmth every time Ileana said the word asexual. She sat up a bit, wiped her eyes and blew her nose, and smiled. “Thank you, Ileana. I don’t have an answer for you, but thank you.”

Ileana smiled back, and laughed softly. “Now go clean yourself up, and take your lunch break, and promise me you’ll give yourself some time. And if you decide one day to come out, however that happens, just know that I’ll support you through it.”

-----

Laura shut the trailer door with an annoyed groan. “I seriously can’t find that rainbow saddle pad anywhere. I thought you said you definitely packed it?” She hopped down from the step, brushing the dust off her jeans and swearing profusely under her breath. Horse shows with Ileana were always organized chaos, especially with her anal trailer packing tendencies. It was a pride show, so it was strange to Laura that Ileana would forget something as important as pride colors to show in.

“We don’t need it anymore, I figured out a plan B. Just breathe.” Ileana’s relaxed voice had an uncanny ability to carry through even the busiest of environments, but it wasn’t creepy to Laura anymore. She just rolled her eyes and plopped down in her rarely-used lawn chair, tipping her head back in exasperation. She trusted Ileana, but that didn’t keep her from being an absolute annoyance to work with sometimes.

“Laura, can you bring me the double bridle please? I think we’ll show in that instead of the snaffle. I think she’s ready for it,” Ileana shouted down the barn aisle from Molly’s stall. Laura heaved herself back up, slinging the double bridle off of the bridle rack in the tack room and shuffling down the aisle to Molly’s stall. As she began to reach out to hand the bridle off to Ileana and take the snaffle bridle back, the big bay mare caught her eye and in curiosity, she looked around her wide shoulder to see exactly what Ileana had meant by “plan B.” It looked like a plain white saddle pad, but as the small insignia caught Laura’s eye, she clapped her hand to her mouth in shock and gasped.

The saddle pad was edged in purple piping, with a small embroidered spade symbol on the back corner striped in black, gray, white, and purple. The asexual flag.

Emotion flooded over Laura, racking her with a lovely, warm feeling of appreciation. Ileana emerged from behind Molly’s hindquarters, decked out in gray and purple riding clothes and sporting a giant, mischievous grin. She took the bridle from Laura and wrapped her up in a bear hug. “If anyone asks, it’s for Jacquie. I didn’t want to out you before you were sure. But I thought you should know I’m in your corner.”

Laura squeezed Ileana tight, and reluctantly pulled away to keep from crying. As Ileana smiled slyly at her and turned to bridle innocent Molly, Laura clearly and overwhelmingly realized that this, this feeling of total love and acceptance, was what pride was really all about.

--------------------------

Horse: Athan Meleth
Rider: Ileana Gabor
Show: LGBTQ+ Pride Show
Class: Dressage
Number: 6
Music: www.youtube.com/watch?v=LFbwDt…

Time spent: 14 hours
References (poses, light source, some color reference): www.davidblakedressage.com/ima…
rebeccarigdondressage.net/imag…