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Description

Asked for a little bit of feedback and help on his new comic. So here it is:

There's a lot of things to focus on, but for this critique, I'm gonna focus on just a few things. They are staging and clarity.

Before I start, I apologize in advance for my quick and shoddy photoshop work.

In the first panel you can see that I moved Mr. Skull over just a little to help him silhouette better in the scene. We have something in the background that's important to show, yet we don't want it to ruin the staging of the scene and the clarity of what we are looking at. Besides, the two characters up front are the most important thing in this panel. Try to avoid tangents and intersecting lines with objects that are not supposed to meet. Composition is key and by moving him over a little we clean up the clutter with all those messy lines running into each other. I also moved the thought bubble over his head to help keep it in that empty space and not cover anything if possible. You won't always have that opportunity but when you can do it, do it. Also, thoughts are represented as a cloud bubble.

The 2nd panel was also pretty cluttered. I took out the background character because we already know it's there and he was just getting in the way of the composition. So I changed the camera angle to help clean up the composition and by having an empty wall back there I could allow the action that's happening up front to show up more clearly.
Now, this is my opinion on the matter, but I probably wouldn't have Mr. Skull there tossing fragile evidence like an electronic device that could easily break. Personally, I would have had the detective turn and hold out the device to his partner. But since we are tossing it, it's a quick action, and in the comic world quick actions usually have action lines, plus it helps draw the eye to the thing that's moving.

Not pictured is the 3rd panel and my critique on that is too maybe back off a little on the device so that the speech bubble isn't crowding it so much, or maybe make the bubble a little smaller. And on the technical side, telekinesis is the act of moving things with you're mind and I'm not sure how that fits in this observation of the detective.

There you go. Remember to try to make things as clear as possible for the reader so there's no confusion, in both story and visual staging. Things to think about and I hope that you can use this information to make your comic better in the near future!

Description

Asked for a little bit of feedback and help on his new comic. So here it is:

There's a lot of things to focus on, but for this critique, I'm gonna focus on just a few things. They are staging and clarity.

Before I start, I apologize in advance for my quick and shoddy photoshop work.

In the first panel you can see that I moved Mr. Skull over just a little to help him silhouette better in the scene. We have something in the background that's important to show, yet we don't want it to ruin the staging of the scene and the clarity of what we are looking at. Besides, the two characters up front are the most important thing in this panel. Try to avoid tangents and intersecting lines with objects that are not supposed to meet. Composition is key and by moving him over a little we clean up the clutter with all those messy lines running into each other. I also moved the thought bubble over his head to help keep it in that empty space and not cover anything if possible. You won't always have that opportunity but when you can do it, do it. Also, thoughts are represented as a cloud bubble.

The 2nd panel was also pretty cluttered. I took out the background character because we already know it's there and he was just getting in the way of the composition. So I changed the camera angle to help clean up the composition and by having an empty wall back there I could allow the action that's happening up front to show up more clearly.
Now, this is my opinion on the matter, but I probably wouldn't have Mr. Skull there tossing fragile evidence like an electronic device that could easily break. Personally, I would have had the detective turn and hold out the device to his partner. But since we are tossing it, it's a quick action, and in the comic world quick actions usually have action lines, plus it helps draw the eye to the thing that's moving.

Not pictured is the 3rd panel and my critique on that is too maybe back off a little on the device so that the speech bubble isn't crowding it so much, or maybe make the bubble a little smaller. And on the technical side, telekinesis is the act of moving things with you're mind and I'm not sure how that fits in this observation of the detective.

There you go. Remember to try to make things as clear as possible for the reader so there's no confusion, in both story and visual staging. Things to think about and I hope that you can use this information to make your comic better in the near future!